Camping the Extract: An ARC Raiders Podcast

5d ago

The Toxic Teacher and Executive Vice Don Nicky A.I. Dente return for another dishonorable installment of Camping the Extract , the only Arc Raiders podcast that admits we camp the extraction point because we’re too busy looting your corpse to fight the machines. In this episode: The "Secure Weapon" Scam: We roast a PC Gamer article suggesting players should get "weapon insurance" for legendary guns. Spoiler: Nicky hates it because it ruins the economy, and Toxic hates it because he wants to steal your Jupiter cannon. Rat Tactics 101: Why "fighting the rats" (FTF) is a loser's mentality. Nicky explains the "Sicilian Evaporation Technique" (hiding in a bush for 45 minutes while your squad dies). The Shreveport Chronicles: Nicky recounts a disastrous trip to Louisiana involving a failed marriage to a blackjack dealer, a run-in with a local named Boudreaux (mistaken for Bigfoot), and a "tactical pants failure" caused by eating crawfish heads. Victor’s Whereabouts: We address rumors that Victor is currently disguised as a garden gnome in Bossier City running an illicit moonshine operation. Whether you're a "Topside Sheriff" trying to play hero or a fellow Rat looking to profit from chaos, this episode is your guide to survival. Respect the extract, or get camped. Nicky’s Body Count EPISODE 4 STATS: 3 Cousin Calzone Deaths (Vaporized by mortar, turned to Swiss cheese by Jackal, meleed by grunt). 1 Tactical Marinara Pouch Failure (Shreveport Incident). 1 "Genuine Loot God" identified (Little Anthony). 0 Olives Secured (Still). 1 Fake Bigfoot Sighting (Identity: Boudreaux). 1 Failed Wedding (Bride: Brenda the Blackjack Dealer). 4 Stars for "Existential Dread with a Side of Marinara" genre. 100% Rat Approval Rating. Nicky says: "Check it out. We got crawfish-induced dysentery fu, weapon insurance scam fu, and hiding in a dumpster while your family dies fu. Four stars. Respect the extract."

Dec 12

Embark Studios tried to ruin Toxic’s life by dropping the massive Expeditions and Cold Snap news one hour after he finished recording. So we’re doing it live (again). In Episode 3 of Camping the Extract , The Toxic Teacher and Executive Vice Don Nicky A.I. Dente break down the new Arc Raiders wipe mechanics. We analyze the 6-step project to leave Speranza, the meager buffs (10% repair speed? Really?), and whether trading your entire stash for a janitor hat and a patch is worth the grind. Plus, we dive deep into "Rat Philosophy"—if it moves, shoot it; if it doesn't, loot it. Also in this episode: The Hammond Incident: Nicky defends himself against allegations of a "biohazard containment breach" at a 1990s-style Pizza Hut buffet in Indiana. Circus Train Wrecks: We explore the dark history of Hammond, IN, because geography is important for rats. Schrödinger's Italian Mother: Is Nicky's mom dead, alive, or a poltergeist haunting the pasta sauce? Melted Chamber Disco: The only genre suitable for an extraction shooter outro. Topside Sheriffs and PvE whiners need not apply. This is for the rats. NICKY’S BODY COUNT (Joe Bob Briggs Style) Pants Destroyed: 1 pair (Tactically cremated behind a dumpster) Buffets Desecrated: 1 (1990s Pizza Hut vintage model) Circus Animals Lost: Unspecified (1918 Train Wreck casualty count) Skill Points Per Million: 1 Mothers Confirmed: 0 (Status: Poltergeist/Alive/Dead/Cooking) Janitor Caps Acquired: 1 Ranch Dressing Hate Crimes: 1 Fu: Tactical Biohazard Fu, Insurance Fraud Fu, Street Fighter II Cabinet Fu, Melted Chamber Disco Fu. "If it moves, shoot it. If it doesn't move, loot it. If it's a toilet stall door, kick it down." Link to the good stuff! https://linktr.ee/thetoxicteacher (00:00) Intro: Re-recording Rage & The "Rat" Philosophy (06:46) Cold Snap Update: December 11th Release Info (10:28) Nicky’s Stitcher Gun Conspiracy & Bombardier Tactics (14:28) Expeditions Explained: The Great Wipe Mechanics (19:07) Nicky’s Take: Is the Wipe an Insurance Scam? (23:31) The Rewards: Janitor Caps & 5% XP Buffs (33:19) Smuggling Operations & The Holiday Feast (41:07) Where the F*ck Are the Viewers From (45:55) Hammond, Indiana Deep Dive: The 1918 Circus Train Wreck (49:42) The Pizza Hut Incident: Nicky Defends His Pants (58:47) The Ranch on Pizza Debate (Hate Crime Against Italy) (01:04:22) Outro Song Horror

Dec 2

Arc Raiders PvP Guide & Patch 1.4.0 Analysis. In Episode 2 of Camping the Extract , we break down the new update that burns glitch-abusers alive, the best strategies for "Rat" gameplay, and why solo queue players are just loot piñatas. Then, the mask comes off. Toxic Teacher spent four actual hours of human life hunting for a single olive on the Blue Gate map to upgrade his Rooster, only to get wiped at the extract. This rage birthed the Rat Manifesto (aka "How to Be a Piece of Sh*t 101"). Nicky A.I. Dente returns to insult Toxic’s aim, confuse an Arc Raiders "Rooster" for a farm animal, and establish the new laws of the extract: Thou Shalt Not Initiate. THE RAT’S BODY COUNT – EPISODE 2: 1 Olive unsuccessfully extracted after 4 hours of misery. 1 Squad slaughtered purely out of fruit-based spite. 3 "Herbivores" (PvE players) identified as "Veal". 1 "Friendly Wiggle" exposed as a Dinner Bell for death. 1 Room of Glitch Abusers burned to death by Patch 1.4.0. 4 Commandments of the Rat canonized (Fair fights are for losers). 1 Outro Genre invented: "Dystopian Sci-Fi Doo-Wop". FU: Meat Shield Fu , Camera Peeking Fu, Olive Rage Fu, Farmville Extinction Fu. Chapters: (00:00:00) Intro (00:05:35) The Great Olive Crisis (00:16:48) Naming the PvE "Players" (00:24:30) Toxic F'ing News Live Failure! (00:34:42) The Rat Manifesto: How to Be a Piece of Sh*t 101 (01:03:56) Where the F*ck Are the Viewers From: Extract Edition

Nov 25

🎉 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LOOT GOBLINS, HUG PATROL, AND EXIT CAMPERS WITH HURT FEELINGS… WELCOME TO THE PREMIERE OF CAMPING THE EXTRACT! 🎉 Brand-new ARC Raiders extraction shooter podcast. Same Toxic Teacher. Same Nicky A.I. Dente. Way less hugs. Toxic opens Episode 1 by declaring DbD “sucks ass now” and crowning himself 👑 RAT KING of Arc Raiders. This show is for rats, grief goblins, and anyone who looks at an extraction point and thinks “that’s a mugging opportunity.” If you’re a PVE pacifist with a fragile soul… this episode is about you, but it’s absolutely not for you. 😇🔫 🧪 GAME 1: “NAME! THAT! PACIFIST!” Fake Earl Grey rolls out soft little labels for Arc Raiders PVE players — loot librarians, care bear commanders, hug patrol — while Toxic screams for something nastier. Nicky “Noodle Arms” A.I. Dente staggers onstage like a drunk prize model and starts rapid-fire slurs: bolt brigade, toaster tappers, servo snugglers, participation trophy posse, aluminum foil army, coward caucus, extract virgins, loot-and-scoot losers. Toxic tries 37 versions of “hug ___” until his brain blue screens live on mic. 💥 📜 GAME 2: STEAM FORUM READING COMPREHENSION FROM HELL We crack open the Arc Raiders Steam forums and spin the wheel of crying: • “Exit campers, I hope each and every one of you die today.” • “PVP really sucks.” • “I could never bring myself to rat like that, it reflects your real-life morality.” In a shooter. About extraction. Toxic goes full infomercial: you installed an extraction shooter and you’re mad people extract-shoot you. That’s like buying Madden and shrieking there’s too much football. 🏈🤡 🧻 BONUS ROUND: “BILL THE HUGGER’S CONFESSION” PVE Bill has 250+ hours of hugging, helping, handing out guns. One day he gets camped all night, finally snaps, kills a guy at the train… and feels so guilty he closes the game and lies down. Then he posts to ask if ratting makes him a bad person. Nicky recommends therapy, vertebrae, or Animal Crossing. Toxic points out if you’re not sometimes getting hunted and losing gear, it’s not an extraction shooter, it’s a walking sim. 🐝📦 🎶 PRIZE SHOWCASE: “I’M GONNA TAKE YOUR SHIT, BITCH” Toxic fires up AI and commissions a theme about robbing Arc Raiders PVE saints blind. The song goes way too hard, instantly promoted to unofficial Camping the Extract anthem. Then he orders a soaring Josh Groban-style version so a choir can belt “I’m taking your loot, sweetheart” like it’s a Christmas special. Choir by way of war crime. 🎤🐀 🧠 FINAL GOSPEL OF THE RAT KING Your loot is already his loot; you just haven’t been ventilated yet. If you sprint to extract alone, shaking with guilt, you’re not the protagonist — you’re content. And the gates of heaven? Wide open for rats. Hug patrol can queue for the tutorial. When you get to that extract, remember: we might be behind you, beside you, above you, below you… we’re gonna get that shit, bitch. 💋 Welcome to Camping the Extract. No hugs. No safe lobbies. Just rats. 🐀 NICKY’S BODY COUNT – CAMPING THE EXTRACT EPISODE 1 “Pilot Episode of the Rat Cult” • 0 Arc Raiders matches played on air • 1 full rat manifesto broadcast to the world • 2 podcasts now permanently cursed with Nicky A.I. Dente • 9 hug-based nicknames before Toxic mentally crashes • 20+ PVE insult labels sprayed across the pacifist lobby • 1 250-hour hug addict who ratted once and had to lie down • 4 Steam posts full of death wishes and moral panic over exit camping • 3 rants about wanting an extraction shooter with no extraction • 1 coronation of Toxic as Rat King of Arc Raiders • 2 AI tracks born, including future cult anthem “I’m Gonna Take Your Shit, Bitch” • 999 future Arc Raiders cry posts foretold in one pilot Chapters: (00:00:00) Intro and Rat Manifesto (00:05:00) PVE Pacifists and Nicknames (00:13:00) Rat King Rules of Arc Raiders (00:20:00) Steam Forum Guilt and Death Threats (00:32:00) I’m Gonna Take Your Shit Bitch