Episodes

4d ago

Talking about sex should not be this hard, and yet for so many people, it still is. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Tara, tenured professor of relational sexual communication, host of the Luvbites podcast, and author of How Do You Like It?, to talk about what actually makes a sex life and a relationship work. We cover everything from why emotional safety is the real prerequisite for good communication, to how shame shows up in our relationships long before we ever talk about kink. Dr. Tara shares what she teaches her university students about sexual communication across the lifespan, from sexual debut to long-term partnership, aging, and everything in between. We talk about why most people were never taught how to talk about sex, money, or desire, and how that lack of language quietly impacts intimacy. If you have ever struggled to ask for what you want, felt disconnected from a partner, or wished there was a guidebook for navigating intimacy, this episode will give you clarity, language, and a lot to reflect on. Episode Highlights: 00:00 Sexual Communication and Education 08:43 Emotional Safety in Relationships 17:50 Personal Divorce Stories and Lessons Learned 18:42 Communicating About Money and Sex in Relationships 22:30 Essential Communication in Relationships 25:22 Understanding Sexual Preferences and Polyamory Grab a copy of her book: How Do You Like It?: A Guide for Getting What You Want (in Bed) https://amzn.to/4iWt60a Connect with Dr. Tara https://www.luvbites.co/ https://www.instagram.com/luvbites.co/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrbW6PCKjgcxkq3dTvjjeyQ https://open.spotify.com/show/2SZ60RxLOyQ900l4PgJAlT Join the Couples Retreat! https://www.amandadames.com/couples-retreat Get your BDSM Checklist here: https://www.amandadames.com/bdsmlist Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Dec 11

One thing about kinky dating: it should not be this hard to find your people. Thankfully, BeeDee App exists and yes, I brought Pieter back on the podcast because a lot has happened since the first time he was here. In this episode, Pieter and I get into compatibility percentages, brat detection failures, monogamy filters, and why BeeDee is miles better than scrolling through FetLife hoping someone in your city is actually compatible. We also talk about BeeDee’s new features like incognito mode and travel mode, and the wild stats behind how many messages, matches, and relationships are happening because of this app. If you’ve ever wished kinky dating felt easier, more intentional, and way less chaotic, this episode is your permission slip to finally download the app, take the test, and meet people who actually match you inside and outside the bedroom. Episode Highlights: 00:00 Personal Experiences with BeeDee App 13:24 The Origin Story of BeeDee App 20:29 New Features and Updates on BeeDee App 29:47 Upcoming Features on BeeDee App Download the BeeDee App https://web.beedee.app/ Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/ Sign-Up For the TCK Couples Retreat: https://www.amandadames.com/BetaWaitlist Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Dec 4

"The number one thing about being a Dom is you need to have the best interest of the other person in mind.You cannot take advantage of the other person because of their submissive role." In this episode, we're continuing the conversation about finding Doms, and what actually makes a good one. Spoiler: it's not about being the strictest or the loudest, it's about showing up consistently, knowing when to admit you're wrong, and understanding that feelings can (and will) change how you play. We dive into what he's actually looking for in a submissive, how he deals with performance anxiety without spiraling, and why sometimes the best thing a Dom can do is pause the whole D/S dynamic. If you've been wondering what separates a good Dom from someone who just talks a big game, or you're trying to level up your own leadership without losing your mind, you'll definitely enjoy this episode. Episode Highlights: 00:00 Understanding the Dom-Sub Dynamic 06:28 Educating Your Dom 11:09 Consistency in Dom-Sub Relationships 20:59 Support and Consistency in D/s Dynamics 27:29 Spotting Submissive Tendencies 38:42 Exploring New Dynamics Together Sign-up for the Couples Retreat! For couples and curious duos ready to explore kink, deepen trust, and turn communication into connection. ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/BetaWaitlist⁠ Let’s take kink to the high seas! Join me at the Kinky Cruise at ⁠https://www.kinkycruise.com⁠ and use code TKC50 FOR $50 off per person. Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: ⁠https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/⁠ Connect with Me: ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠⁠

Nov 27

One of the questions I get constantly is, “Where can I find a Dom?” So in this episode, I sit down with my Dom to talk honestly about where real Doms come from, how he found the kink community, and what he actually looks for when choosing a submissive. In this episode, he shares how he found the kink community, what shaped the way he leads, and how our dynamic started long before either of us named it. We talk about emotional steadiness, consistency, red flags, green flags, and the difference between a man performing dominance and someone who can genuinely hold you. If you’ve ever wondered where to meet a Dom, how to choose one, or what a grounded power exchange feels like from the inside, this conversation gives you a clear, real-world look behind the scenes. Episode Highlights: 00:00 Discovering FetLife and Online Communities 05:33 Learning and Growing as a Dom 24:11 How We Actualy Me 25:48 Advice for Subs and Doms in the Dating World 33:59 The Importance of Communication and Flexibility 36:16 Handling Emotional Regulation and Vulnerability 40:06 Respecting Boundaries and Insecurities How to Tell Your Partner Your Kink Join this 1-hr workshop and learn how to talk to your partner about your kink without shame, panic, or awkward silence https://www.amandadames.com/offers/GvipoKWe/checkout Let’s take kink to the high seas! Join me at the Kinky Cruise at https://www.kinkycruise.com and use code TKC50 FOR $50 off per person. Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/ Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Nov 20

Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers with Kathy Kay In this episode, I talk with Kathy Kay, host of the Strictly Anonymous podcast and author of Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers . We get into how her hit podcast began with Craigslist ads, how she’s collected over 1,200 real-life sex stories, and what she’s learned about desire, shame, and human nature along the way. Kathy Kay and I dive into the wildest stories from her new book; from 50 gangbangs to secret throuples, and women discovering their sexuality later in life. We talk about how these confessions reveal the truth about what people really want, how she keeps it all anonymous, and why storytelling is the key to normalizing desire without shame. If you’ve ever been curious about the fantasies people keep hidden or just love hearing real stories that prove no one is as “normal” as they seem, this episode is going to be your new guilty pleasure. Pre-order The Book: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd Episode Highlights: (00:00) How Strictly Anonymous Confessions Was Born (09:00) The Stories Behind the Book (18:00) Shame, Desire, and Owning Your Pleasure (23:00) Normalizing Nontraditional Relationships (35:00) Why People Crave Anonymity and Confession Pre-order The Book: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd⁠ Listen to the Podcast: https://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Nov 13

What happens when your ADHD brain meets your kink identity? Turns out, they have a lot more in common than you might think. In this episode, I sit down with Cate Osborne, also known as Catieosaurus, sex educator, content creator, and author of The ADHD Field Guide for Adults, to talk about how neurodivergence shapes intimacy, communication, and play. Cate shares her story of being diagnosed with ADHD at 30 and how that discovery changed everything: from her relationships to her career to the way she experiences pleasure. We dive into rejection sensitivity, safe words, aftercare, and why kink can be such a powerful framework for neurodivergent people to feel seen, understood, and safe. Cate also shares insights from her new book, a practical (and very funny) guide to adulting with ADHD, and why she believes self-compassion is one of the most underrated forms of aftercare. If you’ve ever felt “too much,” struggled to ask for what you need, or wanted to understand how kink and neurodivergence overlap, this episode will make you feel a little less alone and a lot more understood. Episode Highlights: 00:00 ADHD and Kink: The Overlap 12:21 Rejection Sensitivity and Kink 19:23 The Power of Self-Advocacy 21:03 Kink and Neurodivergence 24:41 Personal Kink Journeys 28:54 Normalizing Kink and Communication Pre-Order her book here: ​​ https://catieosaurus.com/the-adhd-field-guide Connect with Cate: https://www.instagram.com/catieosaurus/ https://catieosaurus.com Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Let’s take kink to the high seas! Join me at the Kinky Cruise at https://www.kinkycruise.com and use code TKC50 FOR $50 off per person. Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Nov 6

What really happens after betrayal, and how do you start to heal when trust has been broken? In this episode, I sit down with Lauren LaRusso, therapist and infidelity specialist, to talk about the messy, painful, and deeply human side of cheating. We explore why infidelity happens, the emotional chaos it brings, and how both partners, the betrayed and the betrayer, can find their way back to honesty and self-understanding. Lauren and I also unpack the connection between kink and infidelity, how fear of rejection, shame, or unmet desires can lead someone to explore outside their relationship. We talk about the importance of vulnerability, honest communication, and the courage it takes to express who you really are before crisis hits. If you’ve ever been cheated on, cheated yourself, or just want to understand what drives betrayal, this episode is a raw, compassionate, deep dive into the psychology of desire, avoidance, and emotional repair. Episode Highlights: 00:00 Defining Cheating and Its Complexities 07:28 The Role of Kink in Infidelity 19:32 Living Authentically in Relationships 22:13 Practicing Honesty in Relationships 24:28 Facing the Fear of Abandonment 32:11 Resources for Healing and Support Connect with Lauren: https://www.laurenlarusso.com/contact https://www.instagram.com/laurenlarusso Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Oct 30

Episode 56 - For Beau Delacroix, kink isn’t just play. It’s art, storytelling, and self-expression. In this episode, I go behind the scenes with Beau to talk about how creativity and control come together in his work as a Dom, content creator, and artist. From filming erotic stories to crafting toys by hand, Beau shares how intention, aesthetics, and vulnerability shape every scene he creates. We talk about the balance between dominance and empathy, how to lead with emotional intelligence, and what it means to create art that feels both erotic and human. Beau also opens up about masculinity, shame, and why letting go of perfection is often the most liberating part of creation both in kink and in life. If you’ve ever been curious about the artistry behind BDSM or how creators like Beau turn fantasy into something real, this episode is your invitation to step behind the curtain. Episode Highlights 00:00 Journey into Content Creation 20:46 Living Openly and Embracing Kink 22:59 Navigating Kink Dynamics in Relationships 27:07 Teaching Kink to Long-Term Partners 30:44 Crafting and Sharing Kink Implements 33:34 Balancing Control in Kink and Personal Life 40:08 Finding Kinky Partners in the Modern Dating World Connect with Beau: https://www.instagram.com/beau_delacroix/ https://www.tiktok.com/@beau_delacroix https://onlyfans.com/artoforgasm Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Oct 23

Ready to turn people on and change their lives? Get certified with Somatica at somaticainstitute.com and use code TKC25 for $750 off your enrollment. Episode 56 - In this episode, I sit down with my friend Aubrey Aust, a relational psychology and philosophy researcher from NYU, to unpack the psychology behind BDSM, fantasy, and desire. We talk about how kink can become a space for healing, a “relational laboratory” for exploring trust, safety, and selfhood. Aubrey and I go deep on Freud, daddy issues, jealousy, and why honesty about desire is non-negotiable. We explore how shame can block intimacy, what embodiment really feels like, and how the dynamics of dominance and submission mirror our earliest emotional patterns. Whether you’re a dom, sub, switch, or just curious about the psychology behind play, this conversation will have you thinking about kink in a whole new way. Episode Highlights: (00:00) Exploring Fantasy and Desire Through BDSM (02:45) Revisiting Freud and Modern Sexual Psychology (10:45) The Power of Honesty in Desire and Connection (15:00) Working With Kinky and Non-Kinky Partners (21:00) Embodiment, Boundaries, and Somatic Awareness (29:00) Can Kink Be Therapeutic? (34:00) Relational Energy and Co-Regulation Check out Lube Life's ultra slick, thick silicone lube! Connect with Aubrey Aust https://www.instagram.com/aubrey__aust Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Oct 17

Ready to turn people on and change their lives? Get certified with Somatica at somaticainstitute.com and use code TKC25 for $750 off your enrollment. Episode 55 - Let’s talk about back door play, the kind of pleasure that deserves way more hype (and way less shame). In this episode, I sit down with Annette Benedetti , host of Talk Sex with Annette and certified sex and intimacy coach, to unpack everything you’ve ever wanted to know about exploring the back door. We get into how to prepare, what to expect, and how to make it fun, safe, and insanely pleasurable for everyone involved. Annette shares her real-life guide; from her favorite toys and plugs to lube tips, comfort positions, and how to talk about it without awkwardness. We also discuss why communication and consent are the ultimate turn-ons, how to handle nerves (and mess), and why curiosity should always come before shame. If you’ve ever been curious about trying backdoor play but weren’t sure where to start, this episode gives you all the confidence, info, and laughter you need to make it your new favorite adventure. Episode Highlights (00:00) The Myth of Virginity and the Power of Experience (12:00) Exploring the Backdoor: Tips, Prep, and Cleanliness (18:00) Backdoor Toys, Training Kits, and Plug Preferences (29:00) Safety Tips, Hygiene, and Aftercare (32:00) Understanding Partners, Boundaries, and Communication (38:00) Breaking Shame and Making Pleasure Normal Connect with Annette: https://www.instagram.com/annettebenedetti/ www.youtube.com/@talksexwithannette talksexwithannette.com/shop-with-annette Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Oct 10

Ready to turn people on and change their lives? Get certified with Somatica at somaticainstitute.com and use code TKC25 for $750 off your enrollment. Episode 54 - In this episode, I sit down with Lee, founder of ConCations, the company behind Kinky Cruise and Kinky Caribbean , to talk about what really happens when the kink world hits the high seas. We get into how these cruises came to life, what makes them so different from your typical hotel takeovers, and why so many people leave feeling more connected than ever to themselves, their partners, and the community. Lee also opens up about his own 24/7 power exchange dynamic, what it’s like juggling kink, family, and polyamory, and why these events are about so much more than sex. They’re about finding your people, building real intimacy, and creating spaces where everyone belongs. If you’ve ever wanted to explore lifestyle travel or just love the idea of a vacation where consent, connection, and play come first, this episode will have you ready to pack your cuffs (and maybe your sunscreen). Episode Highlights (00:00) From Weekend Cons to Weeklong Connections (10:00) Bridging Swingers and Kinksters with Swinkation (20:00) High Protocol vs. Everyday Power Exchange (33:00) Beach Parties, Dungeons, and Sex-Positive Play (39:00) Connecting Before the Cruise Starts (41:00) Why This Is Perfect for Beginners Join the next Kinky Cruise! Head to https://www.ConCations.com and use the code TKC50 for fifty dollars off your booking! Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Oct 8

Ready to turn people on and change their lives? Get certified with Somatica at somaticainstitute.com and use code TKC25 for $750 off your enrollment. Episode 53 - In this episode, I sit down with Shelby Devlin, Somatica-certified sex and relationship coach, BDSM educator, and author of The Pleasure Protocol , to talk about her journey from working at a San Francisco fetish boutique to becoming one of the most respected BDSM coaches in the field. We talk about Barbie bondage beginnings, the psychology of power, and why shame-free exploration is the gateway to pleasure that actually lasts. If you’ve ever wanted to understand how BDSM can become a path toward self-awareness, healing, and deeper connection, this conversation is for you. Episode Highlights: (00:00) Barbie Bondage and Early Curiosity (12:00) How Somatica Training Changed Everything (18:00) Combining Somatic Touch and BDSM Coaching (23:00) Healing Shame and Building Safety Through Play (38:00) Communication, Consent, and Aftercare 101 Connect with Shelby https://www.shelbydevlin.com/bio Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Oct 3

Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/ Episode 52 - What happens when your relationship is built on trust, power exchange, and pushing limits together? In this episode, I sit down with Lucas and Hazel of Ripped Digital to talk about what it really takes to live and create on the more extreme side of BDSM. From navigating risk and safety in hardcore play to building a 24/7 power exchange dynamic, Lucas and Hazel share openly about their relationship, their porn production, and why empathy and trust are at the heart of everything they do. We dive into what it means to eroticize shame, how fantasies differ from reality, why safety tools like negotiation checklists and aftercare rituals matter, and how they’ve turned their personal kinks into a professional life that still feels authentic. If you’ve ever wanted to understand what happens behind the scenes of extreme kink content or how couples can thrive while exploring the edges of BDSM, this is one you won’t want to miss. Episode Highlights: (00:00) Risk Awareness, Safety, and Harm Reduction (06:00) Negotiation, Trust, and First-Time Scenes (12:00) Eroticizing Shame and Exploring Taboo Fantasies (21:00) Aligning Public and Private Kink Identities (30:00) Sadism, Empathy, and Keeping Power in Check (41:00) Why Authentic Headspace Matters More than Scripted Porn (47:00) Cinematic Fantasies and Bucket List Scenes (53:00) Creating Content that Feels Real and Experiential Connect with Hazel and Lucas ⁠https://ripped.digital/scenes/Home-Movies-Lucas-and-his-little_vids.html⁠ Connect with Me: ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1⁠

Sep 24

Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/ Episode 51 - Ever wondered what really goes down on a Temptation Cruise? Think clothing-optional pool decks, wild theme nights, and the kind of freedom you definitely don’t get on a regular vacation. In this episode, I sit down with Mario Cruz, the Cruise Director who knows all the secrets, to share why these couples-only trips keep selling out. From first-timers finding their confidence to hands-on BDSM workshops and sensual massage classes, Mario gives us a peek behind the curtain at what really makes Temptation Cruises unforgettable. If you’ve ever thought about lifestyle travel or just want to know why people call this “spring break for adults,” this is the episode that will have you ready to pack your bags. Episode Highlights: (00:00) What Happens Inside The Temptation Cruises (04:05) Exploring the Lifestyle on Board (06:56) Cruise Itineraries and Destinations (11:33) Educational Workshops and Activities (17:34) Booking Information and Upcoming Cruises Join the Temptation Cruises https://temptationcruises.com/ Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Sep 17

Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/ Episode 50 - Back on The Kink Consultant, Larah Sky shares what really goes down when you’re running chastity challenges like Sexless September and Locktober. From easy-mode orgasm schedules to full denial, she breaks down why men keep signing up for chastity plans and what keeps them coming back for more. We also get into the chaos of OnlyFans rules, the viral TikToks that blew up her business, and why chastity has become one of the most talked-about kinks online. If you’ve been thinking about trying chastity, or just want to know what makes it so addictive, this episode gives you the inside scoop (and a good laugh along the way). Episode Highlights: (00:00) Sexless September and Chastity Challenges (09:29) Chastity and Sissy Play (15:49) Challenges with Content Platforms (19:56) Challenges and Strategies on OnlyFans (22:27) Content Restrictions (32:01) Chastity World and Future Plans Connect with Larah Sky Type “ Larah Sky is legendary on Google” or check out: https://www.larahsky.com https://www.larahsky.co.uk https://www.chastity.world Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Sep 10

Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/ Episode 49 - What makes something a kink, and what makes it a fetish? And can you find your life partner when you either? In this episode, I sit down in person with content creator and professional dom, Miz Darling to explore the deep, messy, and meaningful world of fetish. From spanking and feet, to nylons and cuckolding, we unpack what makes a fetish different from a kink, how these desires form, and how they show up in long-term love and relationships. We also talk about the book we’re co-writing, Complicated Pleasures, and why it was important to tell real stories of fetishists navigating relationships, intimacy, and identity. This episode isn’t just about what turns people on, it’s about how to stay connected when your desires don’t fit the script. Tune in to learn why fetish is really about power, communication, and finding romance in the most unexpected places. Episode Highlights: (0:00) Exploring Common Fetishes (12:29) Introducing the Book Project: Complicated Pleasures (14:19) The Stigma Around Fetishes (15:08) Exploring Relationship Dynamics (19:51) Personal Experiences with Fetishes (22:53) Embracing Your Sexuality (27:00) How to Get Involved Submit Your Stories: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdD19PrOEehu7UqLmOo4iISRJe2M7L6VyD0FcTSn0s6A88p0A/viewform More details about the book: https://complicatedpleasures.ca/ Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Sep 3

Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/ Episode 48 - If you’ve been on more first dates than you can count and you’re still single, chances are you’re making dating mistakes you didn’t even know about. In this episode, I sit down with Lana Ricco, host of the Dating Makeover show and podcast, to dig into the biggest dating mistakes that are quietly keeping people single. From chasing the wrong type of partner, to ignoring red and green flags around money, marriage, and family, Lana breaks down how to approach dating with clarity, strategy, and confidence. We talk about why men and women often marry for very different reasons, how to spot the difference between dominance and toxic “alpha” energy, and why your mindset going into a date matters just as much as your outfit. Lana also shares her own story of getting engaged within days of meeting her husband, and the key questions she asked up front that made the difference. If you’re ready to stop repeating patterns, avoid the traps that keep you stuck, and finally give your dating life a makeover, this conversation will show you where to begin. Episode Highlights: (00:00) The Concept of Dating Makeover (02:50) Insights on Men and Marriage (12:45) Understanding Dominance in Relationships (17:16) Understanding Submissiveness and Dominance (19:55) Cultural Differences in Relationships (23:19) Finding the Right Partner (30:52) Core Questions for Relationship Success (31:40) Knowing When You’re Ready to Date Connect with Lana Ricco https://www.instagram.com/lana.ricco/ https://www.youtube.com/@LanaRicco https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dating-makeover-with-lana-ricco/id1819348183 Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Aug 28

This episode was recorded weeks before Koby passed. We’re sharing it with love and gratitude, in memory of him. It’s a chance to hear his voice, his story, and his spirit one more time. Episode 47 - In this episode, I get to talk to Koby Falks, adult performer, OnlyFans star, and live sex show headliner, to talk about what it’s like building a career that spans continents, from Australia to the UK and beyond. We get into the realities of performing live on stage, navigating the gay vs. straight OnlyFans markets, and why building a recognizable brand is the key to standing out. Koby also shares his experience on balancing relationships with a public sex work career, how kinks evolve over time, and why sexuality is always more fluid than labels suggest. If you’ve ever wanted the inside story of global content creation and what it really takes to build a career that lasts in this scene, this episode is for you. Episode Highlights: 00:51 Live Sex Shows in Australia 05:00 Marketing and Networking in the Gay Community 11:30 Maintaining a Business Relationship Post-Breakup 22:01 Global Adventures in Filming 24:49 Personal Kinks and Preferences 30:21 The Dynamics of Sexuality 34:18 Balancing Work and Personal Life

Aug 20

Episode 46 - What does your dream girl look like? In this episode, I get to talk with Pepper Kat about how she went from the newsroom to sex work, and why her background in TV and film now fuels her career in storytelling-driven erotica. We dive into the rise of breeding kink (and how Elon Musk weirdly influenced it), the reality of phone sex and camming, and the wildest requests Pepper’s ever gotten. She shares what it’s like to balance business and pleasure, the double lives that people lead to keep their fantasies hidden, why sex work is more mainstream than most people want to admit. If you’ve ever been curious about the business of fantasy or wondered just how far people will go to make their desires real, this one’s for you. Episode Highlights: 00:50 Design Your Dream Girl: A Customized Fantasy Experience 02:12 Exploring Popular Kinks and Trends 12:39 Phone Sex: Behind the Scenes 20:49 The Universality of Sexual Fantasies 27:26 Odd Requests and Custom Videos 30:46 Double Lives and Relationship Dynamics 32:54 Selling Bath Water and Other Merch Connect with Pepper Kat: Website: https://www.pepperkat.com/designyourdreamgirl Podcast: https://www.pepperkat.com/heartfelt-perspectives Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠

Aug 13

Episode 45 - Your butt cheeks also need some TLC… In this episode, I’m joined by Flora, a fellow spanko and skincare enthusiast, to talk about keeping your most spanked asset healthy. From preventing scars and managing hyperpigmentation to speeding up bruise recovery and avoiding leather butt, Flora shares the routines, products, and doctor-approved tips that every impact bottom should know. We break down the best ways to protect your skin before a weekend of play, what to do immediately after a scene, and how to keep your cheeks soft, smooth, and ready for the next round. Plus, we get into the realities of party drop, why volunteering matters, and why curiosity is the most underrated thing you can bring to any kink event. If you want your marks to fade faster, your skin to recover quicker, and your other cheeks to get the same love as your face, this one’s for you. Episode Highlights: 04:18 Managing Bruising and Skin Discoloration 07:30 Skincare Routines and Tips 13:46 The Texas Allstate Spanking Party Experience 18:31 Bottoms Up and Community Events 20:55 Daily and Post-Play Skincare Recommendations 24:13 Understanding and Treating Itchy Skin 31:47 Dealing with Leather Butt 33:23 The Role of Hydration and Nutrition 39:09 The Value of Attending Workshops and Classes Connect with Flora: FetLife: _f1ora https://x.com/_f1ora https://www.clips4sale.com/studio/163305/miss-kelley-may Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ .

Aug 6

Episode 44 -Think you could handle working in a professional dungeon? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m back with Mistress Verna for Part 2 of our behind-the-scenes look at life as retired dominatrixes. We’re digging into how this work helped us explore and define our sexuality, the boundaries we had to build to stay safe, and the trust it took to thrive in a job built on power exchange. We swap stories about some of our most unforgettable clients, what we learned about ourselves through this work, and whether we’d actually recommend dungeon life to someone curious about going pro. Spoiler alert: it’s not for the faint of heart, but it definitely gave us tools we still use to this day. Tune in to hear what it really takes to be a pro dom, beyond the latex and fantasy, and why this career path changed how we see sex, power, and ourselves. Episode Highlights: 02:34 Learning and Growth in the Dungeon 10:30 Unique Client Stories and Advice 21:55 Unusual Requests and Experiences 24:59 Building Friendships and Skills 30:59 Reflections on Being a Dominatrix 37:17 Advice for Aspiring Dominatrixes Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Join The Kinky Book Club: https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membership Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ .

Jul 30

Episode 43 - What really goes on behind the velvet curtain of a New York City dungeon? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I catch up with my longtime friend and former dungeon-mate Mistress Verna to spill the tea on our years working as professional dominatrixes in one of the city's most infamous kink spaces. We get into everything they don't show you in the movies — the hazing rituals, the gossip, the client mind games, the surprise police visits, and the unspoken rules that ran the place. We also talk about the real stuff: the power dynamics, the politics, and how we built safety, sisterhood, and strategy in a space that was chaotic at best and dangerous at worst. Tune in to find out what really goes down in a professional dungeon and why being a pro dom isn't just about fantasy. It's about finesse, boundaries, and knowing exactly who’s in charge. Episode Highlights: 00:51 The Reality of Working at the Dungeon 14:49 Client Interactions and Techniques 22:18 Reflecting on Client Dynamics 25:34 Client Lies and Secrets 27:08 Sex Rules and Gossip 31:01 Raids and Safety Protocols 36:37 Journalist Incident Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Join The Kinky Book Club: https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membership Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ .

Jul 23

Episode 42 -Why is it so hard to talk about sex, even with people we trust? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m joined by Tess and Kels, co-founders of Squirm and co-hosts of the Porn Nerds podcast, to explore how we can make sex ed not just informative but also sexy, playful, and actually useful. We dive into their journey from coworkers to creative collaborators, their mission to destigmatize conversations about porn and desire, and how they built Squirm as a space where adult sex ed meets humor, eroticism, and real communication. From their audio course Oral Hygiene to their Get Squirmy card deck and live events, Tess and Kels are helping people go beyond shame and speak about sex with clarity, confidence, and creativity. Whether you’ve struggled to talk about what turns you on, want to bring more curiosity into your kink conversations, or simply wish porn had a better PR team, this episode will expand your vocabulary, your imagination, and your confidence in navigating communication around sex, BDSM, and desire. Get 20% off of the Get Squirmy Conversation Deck when you use the code: KINKCONSULTANT https://www.getsquirmy.com/product-page/get-squirmy Episode Highlights: 03:45 Introducing Squirm: Sex Ed for Adults 06:32 The Concept of Sexy Sex Ed 17:23 The Role of Porn in Sex Education 21:52 Contextualizing Media and Reality 25:20 Porn as a Tool for Sexual Exploration 27:06 Navigating Sexual Communication 36:45 Exploring the Get Squirmy Events Connect with Tess and Kels https://linktr.ee/squirm Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ .

Jul 16

Episode 41 -What actually allows us to feel safe in relationships? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m joined by Aubrey Aust, a Master’s student at NYU researching relational safety, who explores themes of attachment styles, somatics, and kink to examine the systems and sensations that shape how we connect with others. We talk about how BDSM dynamics bring power, vulnerability, and consent to the surface in ways that most relationships suppress. Aubrey shares why kink can serve as a relational laboratory, how cultural scripts influence our nervous systems, and what it means to move through the world with curiosity and care. We also dive into shadow work, language around needs, and how we unlearn what no longer protects us. Whether you're navigating kink, reflecting on past patterns, or rethinking how you build safety with others, this conversation is a powerful starting point. You’ll walk away with deeper insight into your own relational wiring and why safety is about more than just feeling comfortable. Episode Highlights: 02:40 Power Dynamics in Relationships 06:32 Attachment Styles and Safety 11:58 Language and Communication in Relationships 15:26 Somatic Psychology and Healing 18:07 Exploring EMDR Therapy 22:12 Unlearning and Healing Connect with Aubrey http://www.aubreyaust.com/ https://instagram.com/aubrey__aust https://www.linkedin.com/in/aubrey-aust-8b7744174/ Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Join The Kinky Book Club: https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membership Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ .

Jul 9

Episode 40 -Ever wondered what it’s like to be the face and body on the cover of your favorite romance novel? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with real-life couple Jose and Andrea (aka Mama) to talk about what it’s like to build a modeling career out of smut, how kink became part of their dynamic, and the power of being seen, desired, and fully expressed. We dive into how Mama helped launch Jose’s modeling and acting career, what it means to embody fantasy for an audience while staying grounded in real-life connection, and how kink helped deepen their intimacy after decades together. From daddy/little dynamics to caretaking, long-distance journaling, and the gift of growing older while still exploring, this conversation is equal parts sexy, sweet, and deeply affirming. Whether you’ve ever dreamed of being on a book cover, or you’re just curious what it’s like behind the scenes of a real-life smut model relationship, this one’s for you. Episode Highlights: 01:01 From Childhood Friends to Lifelong Partners 05:53 Transitioning from Military to Modeling 12:02 Exploring Romance Novels Together 14:31 Opening Up About Desires 21:59 Navigating Book Conventions 32:35 Balancing Personal and Couple Growth 36:10 Jose's Journey into Acting 39:45 Advice for Aspiring Cover Models Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Join The Kinky Book Club: https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membership Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ .

Jul 2

What happens when a professional dom and pleasure coach sits down to unpack the psychology of kink, power, and pleasure? In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I’m joined by the brilliant Sir Marvelous, a pro dom, educator, and content creator who's on a mission to make BDSM more accessible, intentional, and deeply satisfying. From his early journey with sex toys to his current work guiding individuals and couples through personalized kinky experiences, this conversation is full of both fire and insight. We talk about everything from the difference between dominance and leadership, to the importance of safe, ongoing negotiation in kink sessions. Sir Marvelous shares his thoughts on why BDSM isn’t just about play. It’s about learning, evolving, and closing the pleasure gap through communication. We dive into topics like edging, mind play, denial, why submission doesn’t mean weakness, and how even a simple sex toy changed the trajectory of his life (shoutout to that random man outside the NYC sex shop!). He also opens up about his teaching philosophy, the role of ego in intimacy, and the importance of making space for joy, curiosity, and mutual exploration. If you’ve ever been curious about what it’s like to hire a pro dom, how to introduce kink to your relationship, or why pleasure is something worth investing in, this episode is packed with truth bombs and transformative takeaways. Tune in and discover how BDSM can be a path to connection—not just in the bedroom, but in life. Episode Highlights: 01:27 Understanding Pro Dom and Pleasure Coach 10:17 The Importance of Continuous Learning in Kink 17:20 Empowering Women Through Sexual Liberation 19:39 Shifting Preferences in Adult Content 25:32 Discovering Kink 31:06 The Importance of Communication in BDSM Connect with Sir Marvelous https://www.sirmarvelous.com/ Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ .

Jun 25

My favorite kink singer-songwriter needs our help. Deore, the incredible artist behind the Brat EP, is back and this time, she’s gearing up to release a full-length concept album called Tantrums . But in true brat fashion, she’s doing it her way: no label, no safety net, and fully trusting her kinky, ride-or-die community to bring it to life. In this episode of The Kink Consultant , we talk about what it means to quit your job, follow your creative calling, and make music that actually reflects the reality of kink. Deore opens up about writing Tantrums from scratch, navigating service sub dynamics while in creative mode, and the very bratty legal battle over a coffee ban that had all of Instagram in stitches. We also get into how kink shows up in her relationship, how her Dom evolved alongside her, and why the idea of “ready-made” Doms is a myth. If you’e also craving for more kinky music or just want to support someone making wildly accurate, emotionally raw bangers about submission, dominance, and desire, this is the episode (and the crowdfund) to show up for. Head to Indiegogo and search Tantrums to support the album before time runs out. Support The Album Here: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/tantrums-a-kinky-concept-album#/ Connect with Deore: https://www.instagram.com/deorebby/ Episode Highlights: 01:44 The Journey of Creating the Brat Album 09:20 The Kink Council and Coffee Ban Saga 21:11 Challenges in Music Production 21:42 Overcoming Vulnerability and Trust Issues 24:18 Crowdfunding and Community Support 26:31 Kink and Relationship Dynamics 28:52 The Role of Media in Kink Exploration 34:39 Upcoming Album and Crowdfunding Details Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ I’m Co-Authoring a Book! Get updated here: https://www.complicatedpleasures.ca Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ .

Jun 20

What happens when a self-proclaimed vanilla romance lover brings a spicy book to The Kink Consultant for a breakdown? In this episode, I’m joined by Brenda (my Bizdom) and Tish (my podcast editor and first-time guest) as we kick off the official Kink Consultant Book Club with a deep dive into The Deep End by Ali Hazelwood, plus a quick update on my own dating life. I share my take on the book through the lens of a kink consultant and why the story felt a little too close to home. Because while we were reading about a dom who disappears for days and a sub who doesn’t speak up for what she needs, I was ending a real-life relationship that unraveled for the exact same reason: lack of communication. The timing couldn’t have been more aligned. We explore the difference between fantasy and functional dynamics, how kink is portrayed in books versus how it plays out in real life, and why honest communication will always be hotter than skipping straight to the sex. If you’ve ever read a spicy scene and thought, “Wait… is this how it actually works?” or you’re curious about how kink and power exchange show up beyond the page, this one’s for you. Episode Highlights: 04:21 Discussing 'The Deep End' by Ali Hazelwood 11:01 Amanda's Relationship Update 15:09 Navigating Kink and Communication in Relationships 19:03 Cultural Differences in Communication 20:44 The Importance of Communication in Kink 25:32 Sexual vs. Non-Sexual Kinks 30:29 Fantasy vs. Reality in Kink 35:29 Final Thoughts on 'The Deep End' 36:32 Join the Kink Consultant Book Club Join the Book Club: https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membership Read Deep End by Ali Hazelwood: https://amzn.to/43PFYiY Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ .

Jun 18

Is it possible to find a partner that matches your freak? In Part 2 of my conversation with Kai and Sarah, we dig into what it really looks like to build a relationship around a shared spanking fetish, emotional compatibility, and a power exchange dynamic that works in real life, not just in fantasy. We explore how their connection evolved from long-distance play partners to a deeply aligned partnership, the structure behind their domestic discipline, and the rituals and rules that support their relationship. They also share how they navigate playing with others, how punishment shows up beyond spanking, and what happens when things don’t go as planned in a scene. Whether you're dreaming of a dynamic like theirs, navigating kink in your own relationship, or simply curious about how this can look in real life, this episode offers insight, nuance, and a reminder that there is no one way to build something meaningful, just your way. Episode Highlights: 03:48 Building a Relationship with Power Exchange 15:27 Daily Rituals and Alternative Punishments 21:47 Struggles and Acceptance of Spanking Desires 23:57 The Depth of Kinky Relationships 34:16 The Importance of Community 39:27 Rules and Consequences in Spanko Dynamics 44:46 Advice for Newcomers 46:42 Future Projects and Normalizing Fetishes Read Kai’s Writings About Spanking: https://fetlife.com/KaiDiscipline/posts/12433740 https://fetlife.com/KaiDiscipline/posts/11441429 https://fetlife.com/KaiDiscipline/posts/6366955 Connect with Kai and Sarah https://fetlife.com/KaiDiscipline https://fetlife.com/Stormborn9 Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ I’m Co-Authoring a Book! Get updated here: https://www.complicatedpleasures.ca Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ .

Jun 11

What happens when two people spend years suppressing a core part of themselves only to realize that denying their identity comes at too high a cost? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with Kai and Sarah for Part 1 of a powerful two-part series exploring how their shared spanking fetish shaped their personal growth, relationships, and ultimately, their path to each other. We talk about what it was like to try to “make it work” in partnerships that didn’t share their kink, the emotional toll of trying to suppress a core need, and how meeting one another brought clarity, healing, and fulfillment. This conversation goes deep into identity, compatibility, and the courage it takes to choose alignment over obligation. Whether you’re wrestling with your identity, navigating kink in a relationship, or searching for connection that truly sees you, this episode offers perspective, validation, and the reminder that you're not alone. In Part 2, we’ll dive into how Kai and Sarah play within their domestic discipline dynamic, how they navigate playing with others, and the rules and structure they’ve built to make it work, so stay tuned for that! Episode Highlights: 02:53 Challenges in Relationships and Spanking 04:43 Finding Fulfillment and Community 17:03 Discipline and Accountability in Spanking 20:07 Reflecting on First Spanking Experiences 22:12 The Challenges of Exploring Kinks in Marriage 25:39 Finding Compatibility and Connection 31:26 Practicing Domestic Discipline 37:10 Advice for Those Struggling with Kink Acceptance Connect with Kai and Sarah https://fetlife.com/KaiDiscipline https://fetlife.com/Stormborn9 Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Book Mentioned: Sex with Shakespeare by Jillian Keenan Podcast Mentioned: Never Too Old for Agoodspankin https://open.spotify.com/show/2nmEpCSJn9UEigZp3Z1uKc?si=2e07e3435b174154 Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ .

Jun 4

What’s the deal with chastity and why are so many people obsessed with it? In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I welcome back Larah Sky for her second appearance, and trust me, she delivers. Lara gets candid about the psychology behind chastity, why some men crave the cage, and what it really means to hold power in a dynamic built on denial. We dive deep into virtual chastity, trust vs. control, emotional responsibility, and the growing appeal of long-term denial. Lara also shares how her experience as a sadist and content creator intersects with power exchange and why she believes true submission isn’t about the latex or the aesthetics, but about mindset. Plus, we talk ghosting subs, fan site pressures, and how boundaries and soft dom energy can still feel just as powerful. Whether you're new to chastity or just curious about the deeper layers of kink, this episode blends education, honesty, and just the right amount of dominance. Tune in to hear how control, craving, and connection come together in the world of conscious kink. Episode Highlights: 00:35 Recap of Previous Episode on Chastity 05:59 Exploring Kink and Fetish Parties 10:15 Strange Encounters and Dating Stories 17:08 Understanding Chastity Fantasies 21:23 Nudity and Femdom Perspectives 25:23 Motivational Domination 29:52 Soft Domination and Content Creation Connect with Larah Sky: https://www.larahsky.com/ Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ .

May 30

What actually happens when you walk away from a BDSM dynamic that no longer works, and end up with someone who still can’t meet your needs, even after you’ve communicated them clearly, more than once? In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I sit down with Brenda (aka my BizDom) to share an honest and frustrating update on my dating life. I talk about why I chose to leave a partner who understood my kinks but lacked consistency, and how I entered a new connection with someone who seemed open to kink but has shown little interest in learning more. To make things harder, consistent communication has become its own challenge, despite multiple conversations about what I need. Whether you’ve been here yourself or are trying to avoid this cycle altogether, this episode offers a real look at the emotional toll of unmet needs, the importance of follow-through, and what it takes to stop settling for almost. Tune in for a candid conversation, some hard truths, and the kind of perspective that might just help you reset your own standards. Episode Highlights: 01:48 BDSM Contract and Breakup 03:30 Dating and Political Differences 20:44 Navigating New Relationships 22:36 Recognizing Dominant Traits 23:14 Spanking Fetish and Boundaries 26:46 Communication Struggles 28:43 Feeling Unseen and Unheard 31:20 Reflecting on Compatibility 36:26 Bridget Jones Comparison 44:07 Setting Boundaries and Moving Forward Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ . Keywords: dating while kinky, bdsm dating dynamics, friends with benefits breakup, kink consultant podcast, emotional needs in relationships, bdsm communication, kink compatibility, dating red flags, how to talk about kink, bdsm and emotional connection, kink podcast, dating update podcast, dating someone who won’t communicate, unmet needs in relationships, breaking up with fwb, when kink isn’t enough, sex-positive podcast, kink and modern dating, effort in relationships, why communication matters, Dominant and submissive, Dom, sub

May 28

In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m back with Candace and Derek for Part 2 of our conversation, and trust me, it’s even juicier than the first. From pegging to big dick fantasies to how swinging became part of their love story. This is a real, vulnerable, and hilarious look into intimacy, growth, and letting go of shame. We dive deep into how religious upbringing impacted Candace’s early sexuality, and how swinging became the unlikely key to her self-love and confidence. They open up about power dynamics, gender roles, jealousy, and the emotional safety it takes to build something that lasts even when other people are watching. We talk about everything from consent violations in group spaces to what it means to hold each other emotionally through sex with others. This isn’t your average swinger story. It’s a masterclass in communication, trust, and letting yourself be seen. If you’ve ever wondered what real intimacy looks like when you add kink, faith, and a whole lot of dirty talk into the mix, this episode is for you. Tune in to hear how Candace and Derek turned religious pressure into empowered pleasure, and how they’re still rewriting the rules of what love and connection can look like. Episode Highlights: 01:27 Exploring Sexuality and Self-Acceptance 04:13 Balancing Religion and Lifestyle 24:41 First Swinger Party Experience 29:49 Positive Feedback and Consent 37:32 Setting Boundaries and Communication 41:08 Handling Jealousy and Self-Discovery 42:45 Advice for Couples Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ .

May 21

What actually happens when a long-term monogamous couple decides to explore the world of sex parties and kink for the very first time? In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I sit down with married couple Derek and Candace, who share exactly what went down during their very first hotwife party weekend in Vegas. We talk about navigating consent, comfort, and connection in group play spaces, what makes or breaks a sex party vibe, and how Derek and Candace transitioned from a deeply monogamous marriage to a more open, exploratory dynamic. They also open up about what sparked their curiosity, what it’s like to play with others while staying emotionally connected as a couple, and how kink helped them redefine trust, intimacy, and their relationship to pleasure. We also dig into how emotional safety, exhibitionism, and even shared eye contact can be turn-ons in public play. If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to attend a sex party, open up your relationship, or explore kink for the first time with a partner, this episode offers a raw and relatable perspective. Tune in to hear how one spontaneous night helped spark a new era in their marriage and why connection, honesty, and curiosity matter more than any label. Episode Highlights: 00:39 Meeting at the Hot Wife Party 05:45 Exploring the Playrooms 13:45 How Derek and Candace Met 20:09 Intentional Setup: Creating the Perfect Environment 24:37 Reflecting on the Date: Rules and Realizations 28:36 Exploring Kinks and Desires 31:47 Candace's Porn Addiction Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ .

May 14

What happens when a sex educator builds a half-million-strong following by telling the unfiltered truth about kink, consent, and community? In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I sit down with the unapologetically brilliant Moxie Rose who is a TikTok creator and in-house educator at Shop Quinky. We get into what it means to lead with authenticity, hold ethical boundaries as an educator, and show up in kink spaces without shame. Moxie shares her journey from private in-person educator to public kink figure, including how “The Moxie” move went viral, what it’s really like teaching sex ed online, and the importance of rejecting pressure to "go harder" just to prove you're kinky enough. We also dive into her thoughts on power dynamics, teaching consent, fighting coercion in kink spaces, and building inclusive, trust-first communities. From munches to shop floors to massive online platforms, she’s seen it all—and she’s here to tell it like it is. Whether you're new to kink, building your community, or figuring out where you stand on power and play, this episode is packed with real talk and honest insight. Tune in for a raw, hilarious, and grounded conversation that will leave you smarter, safer, and ready to lead with intention. Episode Highlights: 04:01 The Moxie: A Unique Intimacy Technique 06:34 The Importance of Ethical and Inclusive Education 15:18 Building and Finding Good Communities 18:47 Joining Mr. Pierre Fashion 19:58 The Kink Community and Education 20:38 Challenges with Selling Adult Products 22:23 The Role of Education in Kink 34:27 Importance of Boundaries and Consent Connect with Moxie https://www.instagram.com/moxierosedances/ https://shopquinky.com/ Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ .

May 7

Ep 29 - How to Talk Dirty with Confidence: Expert Tips from Luna Matas What really holds people back from talking dirty in bed? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with Luna Matas who is a Sex and Pleasure Educator, to break down why dirty talk is so hard for so many of us, and how to stop overthinking and start connecting. We explore Luna’s unique approach to helping people get out of their heads and into their bodies using fantasy, narration, and even some kink-inspired techniques. Luna also shares her favorite tools for unlocking sexy communication, some tips on how to create emotional safety for expression, and why “awkward” isn’t a reason to give up. Whether you’re a total newbie or just looking to sharpen your dirty talk game, this episode will give you a new perspective on sexual confidence, intimacy, and how we can all learn to use our words for connection and play. Tune in for some fun and a whole lot of truth you’ll want to bring into your next bedroom adventure. Episode Highlights: 05:09 Techniques for Effective Dirty Talk 08:57 Building Sexual Confidence 09:46 Practical Tips for Dirty Talk 15:16 Mixing Sultry and Silly in Dirty Talk 19:54 Balancing Kinky and Vanilla Needs 23:40 Learning to Receive and Set Boundaries 28:43 Body Positivity and Erotic Creativity 29:56 Continuous Learning in Kink and Sex Connect with Luna Matatas https://lunamatatas.com/ https://www.instagram.com/lunamatatas https://twitter.com/lunamatatas Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ .

Apr 30

What happens when a couple decides to put the real parts of their relationship online—the good, the bad, and the brutally honest? In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I sit down with Ben and Jas, the wildly relatable couple behind one of Instagram’s most candid and inspiring sex-positive platforms. From viral videos to deep conversations about intimacy, communication, and kink exploration, Ben and Jas are showing the world what real connection actually looks like. We dive into how their journey from OnlyFans content to relationship coaching started, the challenges of navigating intimacy both on and off camera, and why emotional safety and trust are the real keys to better sex. Ben and Jas open up about their 30 Days of Sex challenge, lessons learned from experimenting with CNC, balancing business and pleasure, and how open communication (even about rejection) keeps their bond strong. Plus, we get into their future plans, including long-form content and empowering more couples to have the conversations that matter. If you’re craving a refreshingly real take on modern relationships, communication, sex, and building intimacy without the bullshit, this episode is for you. Tune in for laughs, vulnerable moments, and actionable insights you’ll want to bring straight into your own bedroom. Episode Highlights: 02:15 The Importance of Open Communication 03:30 Balancing Personal and Professional Lives 06:55 Navigating Feedback in Relationships 15:56 The 30 Days of Sex Challenge 21:11 Exploring Kinks and Boundaries 32:07 Family Reactions to OnlyFans 38:50 Advice for Aspiring Content Creators Connect with Ben and Jas: https://www.instagram.com/ben_and_jas/ Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ .

Apr 23

What if erotic storytelling could teach you more about intimacy than a sex-ed class ever did? In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I’m joined by one of my favorite creators, Nik—also known as The Forge Bear—whose voice is as powerful as his presence. Nik takes us behind the scenes of his work as an audio erotica creator on Quinn and shares how he uses storytelling to explore sexual self-discovery, kink dynamics, and authentic connection. We dive deep into kink education, consent, communication, and the battle against performative sexuality online. Nik opens up about his journey from psychology student to audio dom, how he vets play partners, and why building trust is the foundation of any great scene. From safe words to CNC to emotional aftercare, this conversation is full of wisdom, warmth, and way more depth than you’ll find in your average “Dom voice” TikTok. If you’re curious about kink but don’t know where to start, or you’re craving deeper conversations about power, pleasure, and presence, this episode is for you. Tune in for an intimate, unfiltered, and wildly informative conversation that’s as hot as it is healing. Episode Highlights: 01:06 The Power of Audio Erotica 04:45 The Role of a Sex Educator 05:54 Challenges of Digital Education 08:28 Social Media and Misinformation 10:04 Understanding Dom-Sub Dynamics 16:04 Building Trust and Communication with Play Partners 28:37 Advice for Kinky Beginners Connect with Nik: https://www.instagram.com/nik_the_forge_bear_creations https://tiktok.com/@nikgrizz,@niktheforgebear https://www.tryquinn.com/creators/nikgrizz Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Apr 16

What if the parts of you you’ve been told to suppress are actually your most authentic self? In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I sit down with Dove from @littlespaces.co to explore what it really means to be a little—from discovering the dynamic through romance novels to navigating shame, connection, and kink identity. Whether you’re new to the world of caregiver/little dynamics or curious about exploring it on your own, Dove’s story offers a rare blend of vulnerability and wisdom. We get into the difference between little space and age play, what it’s like to access little space solo, and how emotional safety, consent, and presence play a huge role in kink-informed relationships. Dove shares the beauty of the caregiver/little dynamic, how she reconnected with her now-daddy dom partner, and what it means to explore vulnerability as a source of joy, not shame. We also talk about representation, personal growth, and how labels like “little” and “middle” are just tools—not boxes—to help us connect more deeply with ourselves and others. If you’ve ever felt the pull to explore this part of yourself, or you’re just curious about the emotional side of kink, this episode is your permission slip to lean in. Tune in for a powerful, tender, and deeply validating conversation about kink, identity, and reclaiming your inner softness. Episode Highlights: 01:19 Dove's Journey into Littlespace04:49 Understanding Littlespace and Age Play12:19 Exploring Littlespace Alone and with a Partner21:29 Finding Community and Support28:08 Navigating Consent and Misconceptions30:29 Vetting Potential Partners34:01 Advice for New Littles38:52 Exploring Middle Space Checkout The Little Spaces https://littlespaces.co/ https://www.instagram.com/littlespaces.co/ https://payhip.com/littlespaces Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Apr 11

In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I’m joined by the brilliant Emma Xin Velicky, founder of Saturday Box —a company designing immersive kink and roleplay experience kits for couples. Emma opens up about her personal evolution from a conservative, sex-negative upbringing to writing romance and co-creating a business that makes intimacy playful, safe, and accessible. We talk about how Saturday Box blends kink with storytelling, bringing fantasies to life through curated scenes that range from beginner-friendly kink kits to more advanced roleplay adventures. From game mechanics to emotional safety, Emma shares how she and her husband—a game designer—crafted each box to spark connection, deepen communication, and make exploration fun (and hot). I also share my own spicy experience with the Interrogation Scene Box, and spoiler: it did not disappoint. If you’re curious about how to spice up your relationship, ease into kink with confidence, or just love the idea of turning your bedroom into a choose-your-own-adventure game, this conversation is for you. Tune in for real talk on emotional intelligence, fantasy, and finding freedom through play. Episode Highlights: 02:22 Creating Playful and Replayable Experiences 03:04 Exploring Different Role Play Options 04:23 Balancing Experience Levels in Kink 06:07 Dominance and Misconceptions 19:26 Safety and Customization in Role Play 27:45 The Importance of Emotional Intelligence in Kink 29:33 The Problem with Kink Being Underground 35:27 The Joy of Role Play 43:09 Kink in Media and Society Checkout Saturday Box: https://saturdaybox.com/ https://www.instagram.com/saturday_box/ https://www.tiktok.com/@saturday_box USE THE CODE: TKC upon checkout to get 10% off! Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ .

Apr 2

Porn is reshaping how we view intimacy, and Make Love Not Porn is leading the charge. In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I sit down with Saniyyah Lateef, a curator for MLNP, to discuss how the platform is redefining adult content by showcasing real-world sex —authentic, unscripted, and deeply connected. We dive into how MLNP challenges mainstream porn stereotypes, promotes sex-positive representation, and ensures every submission prioritizes consent and authenticity. Saniyyah shares what it means to be an MLNP Star , how curators maintain ethical standards, and why realistic depictions of intimacy matter in a world oversaturated with performative pleasure. We also unpack the impact of ethical adult content on relationships, self-image, and sexual empowerment. If you’re searching for porn alternatives, curious about other types of adult content, or want to explore how real people are reclaiming their pleasure, this episode is a must-listen. Tune in for a candid, sex-positive conversation that just might change the way you think about intimacy. Episode Highlights: 00:27 What is Make Love Not Porn? 04:16 Curator's Role and Responsibilities 16:57 The Importance of Sex Education 20:59 Consent and Safe Practices 21:59 Teaching Boundaries to Children 23:08 The Importance of Comprehensive Sex Education 23:52 Make Love Not Porn: User Engagement and Trends 24:40 Astrology and Sexual Activity Insights 28:21 Community and Privacy in Make Love Not Porn Checkout Make Love Not Porn: https://makelovenotporn.tv/ https://www.instagram.com/makelovenotporn https://www.facebook.com/mlnp.tv/ https://twitter.com/makelovenotporn https://www.youtube.com/user/makelovenotporntv/featured Send Your Videos Here: saniyyah@mlnp.tv Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ .

Mar 26

What do thirst traps, TikTok bans, and Daddy Dom dynamics have in common? In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I sit down with Dilly from @TheLifeofDillyy to talk about his journey from pec-popping TikToker to full-time content creator with a kinky twist. We get into the sensual (and hilarious) evolution of his online presence—and how stepping into his dominant energy opened the door to deeper connection, both on and offline. We explore what it means to be a “pleasure dom,” the unexpected emotional impact of kink-informed relationships, and why communication—yes, even post-nut communication—is everything. Dilly shares how his past relationship introduced him to the daddy dom/little dynamic, how kink showed up in his love languages, and why even “entry-level” kink still requires serious consent and clarity. We also get into content creation, algorithm struggles, and the fine line between sexy and silly when you’re trying to grow an audience on platforms that love to censor. If you’re curious about what a soft-launch into kink can look like—or how to blend sensuality, humor, and dom energy into your personal brand—this episode is full of playful insight and real talk. Tune in for an open convo about dominance, desire, and learning what turns you (and your audience) on. Episode Highlights: 01:36 From TikTok Fame to OnlyFans 06:18 Creating Viral Content 13:58 Exploring Kink and Relationships 15:12 Becoming a Daddy Dom 22:27 Exploring Kinks and Roleplay 22:56 Keeping the Spark Alive 25:06 Communication in Kink 33:52 Love Languages and Connection Connect with Dilly https://www.instagram.com/thelifeofdillyy/ https://onlyfans.com/lifeofdilly https://x.com/thelifeofdilly Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ .

Mar 20

What happens when one partner is kinky and the other is strictly vanilla? Is it possible to find common ground, or are you setting yourself up for long-term frustration? In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I break down exactly how to navigate this mismatch—starting with how to open up the conversation, get clear on your needs, and avoid making your partner feel like they’re not enough. We’ll talk about the biggest mistakes people make when introducing kink, how to approach the conversation without overwhelming your partner, and what to do if they shut it down completely. Plus, I share my personal experiences (and hard-earned lessons) from past relationships where kink compatibility—or lack thereof—became the dealbreaker. If you’ve ever wondered whether your relationship can survive a kinky/vanilla divide, this episode gives you the real talk you need. Whether you're trying to ease a partner into kink or figuring out if compromise is even possible, this episode is packed with practical advice. Tune in to learn how to navigate this tricky dynamic, communicate your desires effectively, and decide what’s truly right for you. Episode Highlights: 01:43 Navigating Differences: Communication Tips 02:33 Personal Experience and Professional Advice 08:51 Handling Rejection and Moving Forward 10:02 Tips for Effective Communication 13:42 Building Confidence in Kink 15:45 Can Kinky and Vanilla Relationships Work? 18:47 Conclusion: Finding Balance and Happiness Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ .

Mar 12

Most people think a Dom/sub relationship is all about power and control—but the reality is, it lives and dies by communication . A strong D/s dynamic isn’t about one person calling all the shots while the other blindly obeys. It’s about negotiation, trust, and making sure both partners’ needs are met. So how do you create a dynamic that actually works? And more importantly, how do you avoid the common pitfalls that can turn power exchange into something unhealthy? In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I’m breaking down what makes a D/s relationship thrive, from defining roles and boundaries to spotting red flags before they become a problem. Whether you’re a Dom, sub, or switch, I’ll walk you through how to tailor your dynamic, build trust, and communicate like a pro. We’ll also talk about why no one is a “perfect” Dom or sub right out of the gate, how to test out dynamics safely, and why writing out your expectations can save you a lot of frustration down the line. If you’re ready to build a D/s relationship that actually works for you , this episode is a must-listen. Whether you’re brand new or fine-tuning an existing dynamic, hit play and let’s talk about how to make power exchange empowering for everyone involved. Episode Highlights: 02:03 Understanding Switches 02:27 Exploring BDSM Tests 04:04 Healthy Power Exchange 05:10 Setting Relationship Goals 06:48 Adjusting Dynamics 07:43 Customizing Your DS Relationship 09:16 Practical Tips for Beginners 10:37 Feedback and Continuous Improvement Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Take the BDSM Test: https://www.bdsmtest.org Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ .

Mar 5

Finding your kink community can be a game-changer, but where do you even start? Finding the right community is about more than just showing up; it’s about knowing where to look, how to vet spaces, and making connections that actually feel good. In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m breaking down exactly how to find local munches, BDSM events, and online communities without wasting time in the wrong places. I’ll walk you through using FetLife the right way, recognizing red flags at events, and navigating social dynamics so you’re not just standing around awkwardly sipping a soda. Plus, I share my best tips for attending events solo, making introductions without feeling weird, and showing up as your most authentic kinky self. If you’ve been struggling to find your people, this episode is your roadmap. Whether you’re brand new to the scene or looking to deepen your connections, tune in and get ready to build a community that truly fits you. Episode Highlights: 01:43 How to Find Your Kink Community 03:40 Red Flags in Kink Communities 04:59 Online Kink Communities and Safety Tips 08:21 Attending Kink Events: Tips and Advice 14:11 The Importance of Communication in Kink Relationships 15:23 Building and Contributing to Your Kink Community Go to ⁠ http://www.meetkinksters.com/TKC ⁠ and you can get 50%off your first month of premium membership! Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here

Feb 19

In this episode, I sit down with CJ from No Shame with CJ to dive into the complexities of kink, non-monogamy, and redefining relationship norms. As a fellow sex and relationship coach, CJ brings a unique perspective on what it means to explore ethical non-monogamy and how the language we use around relationships shapes our experiences. We unpack the differences between polyamory and non-monogamy, the challenges of navigating jealousy, and how to build relationship dynamics that actually work for you instead of just following traditional expectations. CJ shares how their own journey into non-monogamy and power exchange has evolved over time, from navigating long-distance relationships to integrating new partners while maintaining strong foundations. We talk about the idea of being “monogamish” and how some people choose monogamy while still engaging in kink outside their relationship, challenging the assumption that one structure fits all. If you’ve ever questioned your relationship style, struggled with jealousy, or felt pressure to conform to certain labels, this episode is packed with insights on how to unlearn outdated narratives and create relationships on your own terms. Episode Highlights: 01:52 Understanding Ethical Non-Monogamy 04:00 Defining Polyamory and Solo Poly 22:27 Jealousy and Possessiveness in Relationships 28:00 Open Communication in Relationships 32:39 Exploring Kink and Boundaries 37:09 Authenticity and Self-Discovery Connect with CJ https://www.noshamewithcj.com/ https://www.instagram.com/noshamewithcj Download the Feelings Tracker: https://bit.ly/FeelingsTracker Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ .

Feb 14

In this episode, I catch up with my biz dom, Brenda, for a deep dive into my latest dating escapades—from navigating kinky dating apps to almost getting stood up on a very public date. We talk about my upcoming spanking party, the struggles of meeting compatible partners, and why chemistry is everything (even when someone seems perfect on the app). Plus, I also share a deeply personal story about an unexpected loss and how it shifted my perspective on relationships, connection, and the role of friends with benefits. From spanking parties to dating fails, this episode is a rollercoaster of good sex, bad decisions, and me questioning my life choices in real time. If you've ever debated ghosting a guy who can’t plan a date or found yourself catching feelings for a ‘casual’ situation, grab a drink—you’re in good company. Episode Highlights: 04:01 Date Number 1: 58 05:37 Date Number 2: Target Guy 09:22 Date Number 3: 77 Minutes Guy 14:18 Date Number 4: Never Been Kissed 21:35 Navigating Mixed Feelings and Desires 24:37 Grieving and Seeking Comfort 31:48 Balancing Dating and Personal Growth Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ .

Feb 12

In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I sit down with my former personal trainer and newly single friend, Zach Moore, as he navigates dating after nearly 15 years in a relationship. From exploring kink on dating apps to discovering his dominant side, Zach shares his experiences with Field, primal play, DDLG dynamics, and learning the ropes (literally) of BDSM. We dive into what it’s like to date with intention, how he’s balancing casual connections with self-discovery, and why understanding aftercare is just as important as exploring new kinks. Whether you’re new to the scene or just love a good dating story, this episode is packed with insights, laughter, and plenty of real talk. Episode Highlights: 00:58 Exploring Casual and Kink Dating 01:52 Discovering Personal Kinks 04:55 Dominance and Submissiveness 07:32 Primal Play and Kink Dynamics 16:56 Age Play and Boundaries 35:20 The Value of Coaching 42:56 Intentional Dating and Apps Connect with Me: https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/ Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here .

Jan 29

In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I’m joined by the incredible Rayanna Jamison, USA Today bestselling author, co-founder of GTB Publishing, and organizer of the thriving Dirty Daddies community. We dive deep into her journey as an author, the growth of the Dirty Daddies Party Room, and the exciting plans for the upcoming "Dirty Daddies Do Vegas" convention. Rayanna shares insights into the evolution of the kink and romance genres, her transition from author to publisher, and how she's built a welcoming, inclusive community for readers and writers alike. Discover what it takes to craft compelling kink fiction, build inclusive communities, and turn passion into a thriving genre—this episode is packed with insights you won’t want to miss! Episode Highlights: [2:45] How Rayanna started writing and transitioned into publishing. [12:10] What defines a “Dirty Daddy” and how the genre has evolved. [22:40] Details about the "Dirty Daddies Do Vegas" convention: panels, parties, and more! [35:50] The challenges and rewards of running a growing online community. [45:00] Why kink in fiction should remain distinct from real-life practices. Connect with Rayanna Jamison: Website: mydirtydaddies.com Join the Dirty Daddies Party Room on Facebook: Search “Dirty Daddies Party Room” Check out GTB Publishing: GTB Publishing Connect with Me: https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/ Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here .

Jan 23

In this episode, I sit down with my mother, Angela, to explore her journey from growing up in 1960s Ireland to becoming an open-minded, supportive parent. She shares how her traditional upbringing shaped her worldview and how moving to England in her 20s introduced her to a more progressive perspective on sex, relationships, and individuality. We dive into the unique dynamics of our mother-daughter relationship, including how her openness and humor allowed me to embrace my kink identity and confidently pursue a career in the kink community. She also shares how she processed learning about my work as a dominatrix, her reactions to the stigma surrounding women’s autonomy, and her advice for parents on staying open-minded and supportive of their children’s authentic selves. Whether you’re a parent, curious about the intersection of family and kink, or just here for the laughs, this episode is filled with heartfelt stories, genuine insights, and candid moments. Grab your headphones and join us for a conversation that’s as honest as it is heartwarming. Episode Highlights: 01:08 Sex Education in 60s and 70s Ireland 08:06 Mother-Daughter Relationship Dynamics 18:24 Discussing Kinks and Fetishes 23:35 Parenting Reflections and Challenges 35:38 Moving to Ireland and Cultural Differences Connect with Me: TikTok: @thekinkconsultant Instagram: @the_kink_consultant

Jan 16

In this episode, I sit down with musician and kinky creator Deore to explore the fascinating intersection of music and kink. Known for her bratty sub energy and vulnerable, thought-provoking lyrics, Deore shares how music has become a powerful outlet for self-expression, healing, and connection within the kink community. We dive into her creative journey, including how her hit song “Humor Me” reshaped her relationship with her Dom and sparked deeper conversations about vulnerability and shame. She also opens up about balancing kink identity with societal expectations, creating a safe space for listeners to feel seen and understood. Whether you’re curious about kink, passionate about music, or both, this episode is packed with insights on how art can transform the way we connect with ourselves and others. Grab your headphones and join us for a candid conversation that blends creativity, empowerment, and authenticity. Episode Highlights: 03:12 Discovering kink identity through music 12:25 “Humor Me”: The song that redefined her relationship 18:40 Overcoming shame and embracing vulnerability 26:55 How music builds connection within the kink community 34:20 Advice for communicating your kinks in relationships Connect with Deore: Instagram: @deorebby Spotify: Deore’s Music Connect with Me: TikTok: @thekinkconsultant Instagram: @the_kink_consultant

Dec 19, 2024

Once again, I’m joined by my Business Manager and close friend, Brenda, as we dive into a whirlwind week of my dating life. From navigating an unexpected age gap with a mysterious man, to rediscovering the thrill of a first kiss on a mini-golf date, I’m sharing it all. We also dive deep into the emotional complexities of intimacy, including how a spontaneous connection stirred up unexpected feelings about a past relationship. Plus, we explore the challenges of balancing power dynamics, trust, and boundaries in kinky dating, offering insights for anyone navigating these unique waters. Whether you’re here for the juicy details or practical dating advice, this episode has something for everyone. So grab your headphones and join us for an honest, lighthearted conversation about the twists and turns of dating in today’s world! Episode Highlights 02:41 Age Gap Dilemma 14:59 Navigating Sub-Dom Dynamics 18:05 Third Date: Mini Golf Adventure 21:10 Intimacy and Grieving the Past 25:38 Reflecting on Dating Connect with Me: https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/ Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here .

Dec 11, 2024

In this episode, I sit down with my Business Manager and friend, Brenda, to unpack my dating life—and trust me, there’s plenty to talk about! We dive into my adventures navigating the modern dating world, from the hilarious chaos of my first date at a Target Starbucks, to the highs and lows of finding meaningful connections today. We also explore the nuances of kinky dating, offer advice for those stepping into it, and tackle some fantastic listener questions. From the best dating apps, subtle ways to signal your preferences, and so much more. Whether you’re here for the laughs, the insights, or just a behind-the-scenes peek at my dating life, this episode has something for you. So grab your headphones and join us for an honest, lighthearted conversation about all things dating! Episode Highlights 02:08 Target Guy: The Front Runner 11:04 Deep Conversations and Future Plans 19:17 Navigating Modern Dating: First Date Reflections 23:59 The Kink Factor: Dating Apps and Preferences Download the BeeDee App and use the code: THEKINKCONSULTANT Head http://www.beedee.com get 50% off your first month of premium by using this code! Go to http://www.meetkinksters.com/TKC and you can get 50%off your first month of premium membership! Connect with Me: https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/ Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here .

Nov 28, 2024

In this episode, I had an absolute blast chatting with the amazing Pup Locrian. We dove into all things puppy play, its rich history and how it's different from the furry community. Pup Locrian shared some super cool insights on what it means to be a puppy, the gear involved, and even the physical workout it can be! We laughed about treats and toys, and talked about how to find your local puppy community. We also touched on the joys of puppy conventions and competitions. Whether you're a curious newbie or a seasoned player, there's something for everyone. So grab your headphones and join us for a fun and informative conversation that's sure to get your tail wagging! Episode Highlights 01:29 Understanding Pup Play 03:52 Pup Play vs. Furries 11:29 Personal Journey into Kink and Pup Play 24:41 Discovering the Joy of Puppy Play 32:10 Finding Your Local Puppy Community 41:46 Resources and Recommendations Connect with Pup Locrian: https://www.instagram.com/pup_locrian/ https://www.tiktok.com/@locrian_pup puplocrian@gmail.com Resources Mentioned: https://www.pupplay.info/ https://ashleykahurangi.com/book-writing/canis-major/ Puppy Play by Tosa Alphainu Connect with Me: https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/ Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here .

Nov 20, 2024

This week, I’m thrilled to have a candid and insightful conversation with my dear friend, Catherine Drysdale, a dedicated sex and relationship coach whose passion shines through every aspect of her work. We explore Catherine's unique journey to becoming a coach, the impactful sex education and workshops she offers, and the challenges she bravely navigates as a voice in the sex-positive space.We dive into the hurdles she faces with social media censorship, as well as her innovative methods like group guided masturbation workshops and the use of NLP to help clients release pleasure blocks. Her mission is powerful and clear: to provide support, foster community, and create safe spaces where people can explore, embrace, and celebrate their sexuality. If you're ready to connect more deeply with yourself, reclaim joy in your sexual life, or simply learn more about Catherine's transformative approach, listen in and join the conversation. Don’t forget to subscribe, share this episode with someone who might need it, and leave a review if you found value in our discussion. Episode Highlights 03:43 Challenges in the Sex Education Space 04:47 Navigating Social Media and Censorship 09:26 Innovative Workshops and Guided Practices 15:27 The Power of Hypnosis and EFT Tapping 22:06 Catherine's Personal Journey and Career Shift Connect with Catherine: https://www.catherinedrysdale.com https://www.instagram.com/iamcatherinedrysdale https://www.tiktok.com/@iamcatherinedrysdale Connect with Me: https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/ Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here .

Nov 1, 2024

In this episode, I’m sitting down with the fierce and fabulous Larah Sky where we dive deep into her journey from viral videos to becoming a trusted voice in the kink community. And trust me, you don’t want to miss her unfiltered takes on boundaries, fantasies, and embracing kink with confidence. Lara breaks down how she uses humor and creativity to handle internet trolls, and yes—we talk all about those infamous spit videos that have captivated audiences! We also explore the nuances of Locktober and the role of chastity cages in kink culture. Whether you’re curious about foot fetishes or fascinated by giantess fantasies, this conversation has something for everyone. Lara brings the heat with practical advice on exploring kinks safely, setting boundaries, and unlocking deeper connections with yourself and others. Plus, her tips on caging, feminization, and more niche kinks might just inspire your next adventure! Tune in for a fun, eye-opening chat that’s sure to leave you thinking—and maybe even exploring—new possibilities. Episode Highlights 04:06 Chastity Cages and Locktober 17:04 Hard Limits and Intrusive Thoughts 29:16 Personal Icks and Boundaries 37:35 Cross-Dressing and Communication in Relationships 42:48 Unique Kinks and Fetishes 48:27 Online Scams and Safety Tips 52:38 Advice for Exploring Kinks Watch Larah’s Content: https://www.larahsky.com/ http://www.tiktok.com/@larahsky69 http://instagram.com/larahsky Connect with Me: https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/ Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here .

Oct 16, 2024

In this episode, I'm sitting down with the incredible Brad Jones, the mastermind behind my all-time favorite dating app, Meet Kinksters! We dive into how Meet Kinksters is revolutionizing the dating scene by merging sexual and romantic compatibility and explore Brad's passionate commitment to help people form genuine, fulfilling relationships. Trust me, you don't want to miss Brad's innovative insights and the inspiring origin story of this groundbreaking app! We get real about the pitfalls of mainstream dating apps and Brad spills the tea on the dark underbelly of the dating industry. You'll hear all about how Meet Kinksters maintains a safe, respectful environment for kinky individuals to connect authentically. Plus, Brad's unfiltered advice on putting your best foot forward and the exciting future for Meet Kinksters will leave you buzzing with anticipation. Tune in for an empowering conversation that could transform your dating life! Episode Highlights 05:32 Creating a Safe and Authentic Dating Experience 10:33 Addressing Market Gaps and User Concerns 25:38 Navigating Non-Traditional Relationships 26:41 Creating an Attractive Profile 28:51 The Dark Side of Dating Apps 34:32 Truth Bombs: Dating Advice for Men 46:37 Join Meet Kinksters: A New Approach to Dating Go to http://www.meetkinksters.com/TKC and you can get 50%off your first month of premium membership! Know more about this dating app and community at: http://www.meetkinksters.com Connect with Me: https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/ Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here .

Oct 12, 2024

In this episode, I get to dive into the fascinating world of Jana Wimer and Robert Bullwinkel, the creative minds behind the spectacular theater production 'Abandon.' Join us as we explore the show's conception, its deep ties to the controversial Marquis de Sade, and the immersive experience it offers. They also insights into the challenges and rewards of bringing such a daring project to life, including the complexities of promoting a kink-centric show and the incredible support from the kink community. 'Abandon' is more than just a show; it's an experience that leaves audiences breathless. We discuss the intense atmosphere, created through pitch-black darkness and haunting soundscapes, that makes 'Abandon' a completely unique theater experience. As 'Abandon' returns to Vegas Theatre Company this October, don’t miss your chance to witness this blend of horror, kink, and masterful storytelling. Get your tickets at: https://www.theatre.vegas/abandon Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠ Book your consultation here ⁠ .

Oct 9, 2024

I’m beyond excited to have Pieter and Paul, the brilliant minds behind the groundbreaking BDSM dating app, BeeDee. We'll dive deep into how the app uses your BDSM test results to algorithmically connect you with compatible kinksters. We'll explore their unique approach to creating genuine and meaningful connections within the BDSM community, and how they overcame challenges to bring this revolutionary app to life. You'll also get an insider's look at the incredible features that set BeeDee apart from other dating platforms, including higher-quality matches and community-focused interactions. Plus, there's a special offer just for our listeners that you won't want to miss. Tune in to discover how BeeDee is transforming the way kinksters find love and companionship. Trust me, you don’t want to miss this one! Episode Highlights 02:36 The Evolution of the BDSM Test 12:01 Exploring the BD App Features 24:37 Challenges with iOS Approval 28:34 Team and Community Focus 36:00 Addressing Rumors and Anonymity 40:38 Advice for Newbies in BDSM 43:50 Future Features and User Interaction Download the BeeDee App and use the code: THEKINKCONSULTANT Head over to the Android Play Store and get 50% off your first month of premium by using this code! Help us get BeeDee on iOS! Sign the petition here: https://www.change.org/p/approve-the-beedee-dating-app-in-the-apple-app-store Know more about the app at: http://www.beedee.com Connect with Me: https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/ Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here .

Oct 2, 2024

Buckle up for a wild ride as I sit down with Veronica and Jim, the power couple of the Las Vegas kink scene. Veronica and Jim spill the beans on their whirlwind romance, from a fast-tracked military marriage to discovering their kinky sides. Ever wondered what it's like to go from a vanilla relationship to throwing legendary BDSM parties? They dish the dirt on everything - the excitement, the mistakes, and the oh-so-important rules of the BDSM road. Join in as they recount side-splitting tales of epic parties, including a fiasco with a threesome and a bottle of Fireball in the kitchen, and unforgettable moments like someone actually seeing her actual "Daddy" in one of the parties (yikes!). Learn about their unique roles as community leaders, how they navigate the tricky waters of consent, and the usual party mishaps. Find them on FetLife: Pope - Jim Caramel Aphrodite - Veronica Episode Highlights: 03:00 Community Roles: The Community Mom and Dad 33:51 Establishing Party Rules and Safety 40:25 Navigating Kink Communities 41:40 Advice for Newcomers 01:09:06 Dealing with Fetish Missteps Connect with Me: https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/ Book your consultation here: https://thekinkconsultant.com/bookings Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you!

Sep 18, 2024

In this episode, I’m joined by AGoodSpankin as we dive into one of the most common yet misunderstood fetishes—spanking. AGS shares his personal journey, from discovering his love for spanking at a young age to becoming a SpankTube content creator. We discuss how he uses his platform and podcast to help others embrace their kinks more openly. You’ll also hear some wild stories—from being mistaken as gay because of his love for spanking, to dealing with a creepy stalker, and even paying $75 to watch spanking videos back in the '80s! On top of that, we tackle the crucial topic of boundaries in kink. AGS and I explore how to set and maintain boundaries while ensuring clear communication, consent, and safety in any dynamic. If you’re looking for practical advice, authentic stories, and a deeper understanding of spanking, this episode has it all. Tune in for raw, honest insights and expert guidance! Connect with AGoodSpankin: Listen to his podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2nmEpCSJn9UEigZp3Z1uKc?si=8d9da2a32c424813 Watch his videos: https://www.spankingtube.com/user/agoodspankin Connect with Me: https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/ Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here . https://thekinkconsultant.com/bookings

Sep 12, 2024

In this episode, I answer your burning questions from the first two episodes! From balancing finances with my dominatrix career to navigating dungeon dynamics, I spill the details on rates, tips, and the unwritten rules of conduct. I also share some valuable lessons that are pretty useful even outside the dungeon like how to negotiate, set boundaries, and truly connect with people on an intimate level. If you’re curious about all of these, then be sure to tune in as I take you behind-the-scenes. Episode Highlights 00:54 How Much I Make as a Dominatrix 04:09 Some Challenges and Realizations 05:33 Favorite and Least Favorite Clients 09:34 Dominatrix Name and Conduct Rules Connect with Me: https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/ Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here .

Sep 6, 2024

In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on how I went from a Wall Street Journal desk job to stepping into a dominatrix role I never saw coming. I’ll take you through the nerve-wracking moments of my first day in a Garment District dungeon, where I faced unexpected client requests and discovered a side of myself I didn’t know existed. I’ll also share the adrenaline-pumping experiences that made this the most exhilarating job of my life—and why I couldn’t wait for the next session. Tune in to hear how my secret life began, the wild twists along the way, and the invaluable lessons I learned! Episode Highlights 01:03 The Craigslist Ad That Changed My Life 05:39 First Impressions and Rules 08:49 Preparing for the First Shift 13:28 Meeting the Clients and Learning the Ropes 18:34 What Made Me Want to Go Back Connect with Me: https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/ Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here .

Sep 4, 2024

Welcome to the first episode of The Kink Consultant! I’m excited to take you on a journey into the world of kink, BDSM, and sex positivity. In this episode, I share my story—starting with a childhood fascination with spanking that grew into a passion for kink. At 24, while working in finance by day, I answered a Craigslist ad for dominatrixes by night, and it changed my life. Balancing my Wall Street career with my secret life as a dominatrix was thrilling, but when both worlds collided, I had to make some tough choices. Eventually, I left the dungeon and followed a new path: becoming a sex and relationship coach. Now, as The Kink Consultant, I’m here to demystify kink, break down stigmas, and create an open, fun space for exploration. Join me, subscribe, leave a review, and keep on kinkin' on! Episode Highlights 01:07 First Encounter with BDSM 02:38 Becoming a Dominatrix 04:53 Balancing Two Worlds 07:33 Transition to Kink Consultant 10:37 Why I started the Podcast Connect with Me: https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/ Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! Book your consultation here .