The Kink Consultant
Amanda, The Kink Consultant
Amanda, The Kink Consultant
Welcome to The Kink Consultant podcast, where we’re turning up the heat on all things kink in dating, relationships, and pop culture! Join Amanda each week as she dishes out the juiciest stories, expert advice, and shares a sneak peek behind the bedroom door—with some amazing guests along for the ride. Whether you're just a little kink-curious, ready to spice things up, or a seasoned pro, there's something here for you! Expect fun, laughter, and a whole lot of eye-opening conversations as we explore the wild world of intimacy, kink, and those oh-so-intriguing D/s dynamics.
4d ago
Talking about sex should not be this hard, and yet for so many people, it still is. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Tara, tenured professor of relational sexual communication, host of the Luvbites podcast, and author of How Do You Like It?, to talk about what actually makes a sex life and a relationship work. We cover everything from why emotional safety is the real prerequisite for good communication, to how shame shows up in our relationships long before we ever talk about kink. Dr. Tara shares what she teaches her university students about sexual communication across the lifespan, from sexual debut to long-term partnership, aging, and everything in between. We talk about why most people were never taught how to talk about sex, money, or desire, and how that lack of language quietly impacts intimacy. If you have ever struggled to ask for what you want, felt disconnected from a partner, or wished there was a guidebook for navigating intimacy, this episode will give you clarity, language, and a lot to reflect on. Episode Highlights: 00:00 Sexual Communication and Education 08:43 Emotional Safety in Relationships 17:50 Personal Divorce Stories and Lessons Learned 18:42 Communicating About Money and Sex in Relationships 22:30 Essential Communication in Relationships 25:22 Understanding Sexual Preferences and Polyamory Grab a copy of her book: How Do You Like It?: A Guide for Getting What You Want (in Bed) https://amzn.to/4iWt60a Connect with Dr. Tara https://www.luvbites.co/ https://www.instagram.com/luvbites.co/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrbW6PCKjgcxkq3dTvjjeyQ https://open.spotify.com/show/2SZ60RxLOyQ900l4PgJAlT Join the Couples Retreat! https://www.amandadames.com/couples-retreat Get your BDSM Checklist here: https://www.amandadames.com/bdsmlist Connect with Me: https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Dec 11
One thing about kinky dating: it should not be this hard to find your people. Thankfully, BeeDee App exists and yes, I brought Pieter back on the podcast because a lot has happened since the first time he was here. In this episode, Pieter and I get into compatibility percentages, brat detection failures, monogamy filters, and why BeeDee is miles better than scrolling through FetLife hoping someone in your city is actually compatible. We also talk about BeeDee’s new features like incognito mode and travel mode, and the wild stats behind how many messages, matches, and relationships are happening because of this app. If you’ve ever wished kinky dating felt easier, more intentional, and way less chaotic, this episode is your permission slip to finally download the app, take the test, and meet people who actually match you inside and outside the bedroom. Episode Highlights: 00:00 Personal Experiences with BeeDee App 13:24 The Origin Story of BeeDee App 20:29 New Features and Updates on BeeDee App 29:47 Upcoming Features on BeeDee App Download the BeeDee App https://web.beedee.app/ Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/ Sign-Up For the TCK Couples Retreat: https://www.amandadames.com/BetaWaitlist Connect with Me: https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Dec 4
"The number one thing about being a Dom is you need to have the best interest of the other person in mind.You cannot take advantage of the other person because of their submissive role." In this episode, we're continuing the conversation about finding Doms, and what actually makes a good one. Spoiler: it's not about being the strictest or the loudest, it's about showing up consistently, knowing when to admit you're wrong, and understanding that feelings can (and will) change how you play. We dive into what he's actually looking for in a submissive, how he deals with performance anxiety without spiraling, and why sometimes the best thing a Dom can do is pause the whole D/S dynamic. If you've been wondering what separates a good Dom from someone who just talks a big game, or you're trying to level up your own leadership without losing your mind, you'll definitely enjoy this episode. Episode Highlights: 00:00 Understanding the Dom-Sub Dynamic 06:28 Educating Your Dom 11:09 Consistency in Dom-Sub Relationships 20:59 Support and Consistency in D/s Dynamics 27:29 Spotting Submissive Tendencies 38:42 Exploring New Dynamics Together Sign-up for the Couples Retreat! For couples and curious duos ready to explore kink, deepen trust, and turn communication into connection. https://www.amandadames.com/BetaWaitlist Let’s take kink to the high seas! Join me at the Kinky Cruise at https://www.kinkycruise.com and use code TKC50 FOR $50 off per person. Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/ Connect with Me: https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Nov 27
One of the questions I get constantly is, “Where can I find a Dom?” So in this episode, I sit down with my Dom to talk honestly about where real Doms come from, how he found the kink community, and what he actually looks for when choosing a submissive. In this episode, he shares how he found the kink community, what shaped the way he leads, and how our dynamic started long before either of us named it. We talk about emotional steadiness, consistency, red flags, green flags, and the difference between a man performing dominance and someone who can genuinely hold you. If you’ve ever wondered where to meet a Dom, how to choose one, or what a grounded power exchange feels like from the inside, this conversation gives you a clear, real-world look behind the scenes. Episode Highlights: 00:00 Discovering FetLife and Online Communities 05:33 Learning and Growing as a Dom 24:11 How We Actualy Me 25:48 Advice for Subs and Doms in the Dating World 33:59 The Importance of Communication and Flexibility 36:16 Handling Emotional Regulation and Vulnerability 40:06 Respecting Boundaries and Insecurities How to Tell Your Partner Your Kink Join this 1-hr workshop and learn how to talk to your partner about your kink without shame, panic, or awkward silence https://www.amandadames.com/offers/GvipoKWe/checkout Let’s take kink to the high seas! Join me at the Kinky Cruise at https://www.kinkycruise.com and use code TKC50 FOR $50 off per person. Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/ Connect with Me: https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Nov 20
Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers with Kathy Kay In this episode, I talk with Kathy Kay, host of the Strictly Anonymous podcast and author of Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers . We get into how her hit podcast began with Craigslist ads, how she’s collected over 1,200 real-life sex stories, and what she’s learned about desire, shame, and human nature along the way. Kathy Kay and I dive into the wildest stories from her new book; from 50 gangbangs to secret throuples, and women discovering their sexuality later in life. We talk about how these confessions reveal the truth about what people really want, how she keeps it all anonymous, and why storytelling is the key to normalizing desire without shame. If you’ve ever been curious about the fantasies people keep hidden or just love hearing real stories that prove no one is as “normal” as they seem, this episode is going to be your new guilty pleasure. Pre-order The Book: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd Episode Highlights: (00:00) How Strictly Anonymous Confessions Was Born (09:00) The Stories Behind the Book (18:00) Shame, Desire, and Owning Your Pleasure (23:00) Normalizing Nontraditional Relationships (35:00) Why People Crave Anonymity and Confession Pre-order The Book: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd Listen to the Podcast: https://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Connect with Me: https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/ Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Nov 13
What happens when your ADHD brain meets your kink identity? Turns out, they have a lot more in common than you might think. In this episode, I sit down with Cate Osborne, also known as Catieosaurus, sex educator, content creator, and author of The ADHD Field Guide for Adults, to talk about how neurodivergence shapes intimacy, communication, and play. Cate shares her story of being diagnosed with ADHD at 30 and how that discovery changed everything: from her relationships to her career to the way she experiences pleasure. We dive into rejection sensitivity, safe words, aftercare, and why kink can be such a powerful framework for neurodivergent people to feel seen, understood, and safe. Cate also shares insights from her new book, a practical (and very funny) guide to adulting with ADHD, and why she believes self-compassion is one of the most underrated forms of aftercare. If you’ve ever felt “too much,” struggled to ask for what you need, or wanted to understand how kink and neurodivergence overlap, this episode will make you feel a little less alone and a lot more understood. Episode Highlights: 00:00 ADHD and Kink: The Overlap 12:21 Rejection Sensitivity and Kink 19:23 The Power of Self-Advocacy 21:03 Kink and Neurodivergence 24:41 Personal Kink Journeys 28:54 Normalizing Kink and Communication Pre-Order her book here: https://catieosaurus.com/the-adhd-field-guide Connect with Cate: https://www.instagram.com/catieosaurus/ https://catieosaurus.com Connect with Me: https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/ Let’s take kink to the high seas! Join me at the Kinky Cruise at https://www.kinkycruise.com and use code TKC50 FOR $50 off per person. Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Nov 6
What really happens after betrayal, and how do you start to heal when trust has been broken? In this episode, I sit down with Lauren LaRusso, therapist and infidelity specialist, to talk about the messy, painful, and deeply human side of cheating. We explore why infidelity happens, the emotional chaos it brings, and how both partners, the betrayed and the betrayer, can find their way back to honesty and self-understanding. Lauren and I also unpack the connection between kink and infidelity, how fear of rejection, shame, or unmet desires can lead someone to explore outside their relationship. We talk about the importance of vulnerability, honest communication, and the courage it takes to express who you really are before crisis hits. If you’ve ever been cheated on, cheated yourself, or just want to understand what drives betrayal, this episode is a raw, compassionate, deep dive into the psychology of desire, avoidance, and emotional repair. Episode Highlights: 00:00 Defining Cheating and Its Complexities 07:28 The Role of Kink in Infidelity 19:32 Living Authentically in Relationships 22:13 Practicing Honesty in Relationships 24:28 Facing the Fear of Abandonment 32:11 Resources for Healing and Support Connect with Lauren: https://www.laurenlarusso.com/contact https://www.instagram.com/laurenlarusso Connect with Me: https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Oct 30
Episode 56 - For Beau Delacroix, kink isn’t just play. It’s art, storytelling, and self-expression. In this episode, I go behind the scenes with Beau to talk about how creativity and control come together in his work as a Dom, content creator, and artist. From filming erotic stories to crafting toys by hand, Beau shares how intention, aesthetics, and vulnerability shape every scene he creates. We talk about the balance between dominance and empathy, how to lead with emotional intelligence, and what it means to create art that feels both erotic and human. Beau also opens up about masculinity, shame, and why letting go of perfection is often the most liberating part of creation both in kink and in life. If you’ve ever been curious about the artistry behind BDSM or how creators like Beau turn fantasy into something real, this episode is your invitation to step behind the curtain. Episode Highlights 00:00 Journey into Content Creation 20:46 Living Openly and Embracing Kink 22:59 Navigating Kink Dynamics in Relationships 27:07 Teaching Kink to Long-Term Partners 30:44 Crafting and Sharing Kink Implements 33:34 Balancing Control in Kink and Personal Life 40:08 Finding Kinky Partners in the Modern Dating World Connect with Beau: https://www.instagram.com/beau_delacroix/ https://www.tiktok.com/@beau_delacroix https://onlyfans.com/artoforgasm Connect with Me: https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
