Skip to content
Football Cliches artwork

Football Cliches

Adam Hurrey & Goalhanger·Hosted by Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker·289 episodes

SportsFootball languageCo-hosted panelRecurring quizzesListener submissionsTwice weeklyUK football culture

Deconstructing the gloriously unique language of football – the words, the phrases and the tiny things you didn't think you cared about – with Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker.Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

Why listen

Football Cliches is for listeners who notice the tiny, absurd rituals of football language, from pundit phrases to commentator habits and very specific fan irritations. Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker turn those details into a sharp, funny panel show with recurring games, listener submissions and forensic attention to the words football people cannot stop using. It is ideal for football fans who enjoy the culture around the game as much as the matches themselves.

Episodes

54 min
Jul 16, 2026
(Over)familiar failings, the freshest possible World Cup final & Luis Figo vs T. rex

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural review of England 1 Argentina 2, finding anything remotely unfamiliar about England's latest major-tournament exit, gauging the enthusiasm levels for the "FIFA Bronze Final", the valuable freshness of a Spain vs Argentina final, anticipating Tom Cruise's contribution to the half-time show, filthy-sounding World Cup demonym usages, and dinosaur fossil prices finally catch up with football transfer fees. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

48 min
Jul 14, 2026
A little bit all at sea, gyroscope magnitudes & Joe Cole on the pyramids

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural review of the montage-resistant grind of England 2 Norway 1, Thomas Tuchel vs Gabriel Clarke, the prospect of Vindaloo as the soundtrack to this year's John Lewis Christmas advert, ITV's Mark Pougatch talks tactics, revisiting England 3 Argentina 2 (2005), Joe Cole’s stance on the pyramids of Egypt, and kit-man transfer news. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

50 min
Jul 9, 2026
The Aguirre noise, lungbusting thresholds & the Penalty Miss XI

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the enjoyable chaos of Argentina vs Egypt, the exact noise Javier Aguirre made to Anthony Gordon, co-commentators with Alan Shearer's voice, a listener's very niche World Cup spreadsheet, the evergreen haplessness of centre-backs in penalty shootouts, the international managerial merry-go-round and the threshold for a "lungbusting" run. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

1 hr 7 min
Jul 6, 2026
1,114 Dan Burns, retro World Cup controversy & the most unsatisfying noise of the tournament

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Jake Farrell. On the agenda: an in-depth cultural review of Mexico 2 England 3, the immaculate Golden Boot race, Donald Trump ushering in a truly retro tinpot World Cup moment, *that* BBC News pronunciation of "Socceroos", unsatisfying Microsoft Windows noises during France vs Paraguay, exclusive giant flag logistics info, the American love for Fletch's commentary, some glorious knockout-stage Jonathan Pearce and Lionel Messi's crisps ad cameos. Meanwhile, the panel absolutely nail the difference between "fashioning" and "conjuring" a goalscoring chance. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

56 min
Jul 3, 2026
The Boxpark backlash, unfinished Azteca business & the unluckiest World Cup score-avoider

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and James Maw. On the agenda: the big World Cup flag question, England 2 DR Congo 1 and the Kaniest finish in the history of Harry Kane, the Big Boxpark Backlash, England's unfinished business at the Azteca, Danny Murphy's cat, the most obscure way anyone has ever accidentally found out the result of a game they were trying to avoid the result for, Emile Heskey on broccoli, football chat in the House of Commons, football podcast theme tunes in Netflix sports comedies and Chelsea push the envelope of Club Statement capitalisation. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

54 min
Jun 30, 2026
A correct year for every last-32 game, Trumpian co-comms & breakfast with Sean Dyche

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker, James Maw and, eventually, Nick Miller. On the agenda: pathetic TV-channel paranoia clickbait from our beleaguered regional press, goalscorers "on the doorstep", Donald Trump's voice in World Cup co-commentary, Andy Townsend ignoring Martin Tyler’s octogenarian wordplay, The New World Order get hold of some VIP tickets for Canada vs South Africa, one man takes the BBC’s World Cup 3D Experience a little too far, the joys of admiring your own crossfield pass, former Leicester midfielders’ names in racing video game soundtracks, Sean Dyche on woke breakfasts and an unprecedented three-man World Cup lineup posing quiz showdown. Meanwhile, the panel decided which year all the World Cup last-32 ties SHOULD be taking place in. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

49 min
Jun 26, 2026
Fox-mode Fletch, Scottish limbo & Andy Burnham's one-on-one finishing

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the wider ripples of England 0 Ghana 0, Scotland’s slightly excessive World Cup purgatory, Darren Fletcher lets his hair down on Fox Sports duty, Andy Burnham’s solid football credentials, sacked managers names in Olivia Rodrigo album tracks and more World Cup lineup-poses quizzing. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

59 min
Jun 23, 2026
The Vamos epidemic, Lineker on ITV & accidental 90s trance in VAR announcements

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Screen Rot's Jake Farrell. On the agenda: the England player least likely to shout "Vamos!" during a game, an emphatic VAR call from a referee during Paraguay vs Turkey, how close the USA are to "they couldn't... coult they?" territory, Martin Keown's collective noun for a goalkeeper's saves, Sam Matterface fails to meet the geographical “from X to Y” threshold, the real damage caused by hydration breaks, a statistical breakdown of World Cup lineup poses and why Richard Keys wants to manipulate the Premier League fixture list. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

48 min
Jun 19, 2026
England's beloved scoreline, Messi's scout badges & the hydration-break hand gesture

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Adam's slapstick attempt to watch England 4-2 Croatia at the pub, the mid-1990s England player recognition skills of French TV, how Cape Verde triggered a social-media threshold, Lee Dixon on Mexican waves, the diminishing number of original ways to write about Lionel Messi, which of the 48 nations least suits being full-named by a commentator, the refereeing hand gesture for hydration break, and why the USA are 90 minutes away from soccer supremacy. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

47 min
Jun 15, 2026
The BBC/ITV truce, World Cup life-bursting & Tina Turner's spot-kick record

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and James Maw. On the agenda: how the BBC & ITV's tournament has gone so far, Simon Jordan treats a basic World Cup question with the disdain only Simon Jordan could, the genuine majesty of the Azteca Stadium, the very moment this World Cup "burst into life", FIFA's condiment censorship, Brazil get the customary broadcasting greeting and Tom Cruise unveils David Beckham's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Meanwhile, the panel imagine what a club "laughing off" a bid for a player would actually sound like and find a new level of "tenuous official club DVD". Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

1 hr
Jun 11, 2026
Giant lanyards & England camp mood updates: The listeners' World Cup loves & hates

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller entertain the listener entries for a special edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche World Cup fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are viral World Cup fans, the little-known moment that sparked England’s 60 years of hurt, giant FIFA lanyards, the slow death of the phrase “World Cup finals”, and other home nations' infuriation with TV updates from the England camp. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel admire the explosion of online football draft games and pinpoint this World Cup's "no mugs" threshold. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

51 min
Jun 9, 2026
England's Florida scoreboard XI, niche FIFA metrics & watching the World Cup in 4D

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Nick Miller and James Maw. On the agenda: the BBC's co-commentators show some pre-tournament rustiness, FIFA's new plan for pre-kick-off team lineups, the greatest PDF in World Cup history, footballers' names in scathing reviews of West End musicals, the pathetic carry-on of the Real Madrid presidential election, a potentially terrible "4D World Cup viewing experience", a superbly mangled cliche by a hurling pundit and some provisional thoughts on Piers Morgan's World Cup YouTube show. Meanwhile, the panel imagine the football existences of the incorrectly-named England stars of the Florida stadium scoreboard. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

1 hr 42 min
Jun 4, 2026
The Football Cliches Quiz XXV: Cliches vs The England Pod

The 25th edition of the Football Clichés Quiz sees Adam, Charlie and Nick take on The England Pod in a World Cup trivia special. The questions include: Wikipedia-verified World Cup "Battles Of", the stars of the Three Lions video, World Cup hat-trick merchants, tournament debutants, official match balls, UK-based Trinidadians and ex-Premier League managers at this year's tournament. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN You can listen to The England Pod here Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

45 min
Jun 2, 2026
Stutter steps in Budapest, Switzerland on Saturdays & Keysey's final sign-off

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: A cultural review of the Champions League final (feat. commentary intonations and David Schwimmer's divorce), Paul Robinson gets intensely distracted during the Conference League final, Switzerland's curious World Cup scheduling stranglehold, early reports of terrible pub bunting, pundit parenting at the soft play, and Richard Keys’s Concorde lament. Meanwhile, the panel address the latest backlash to stutter-step penalties. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

51 min
May 27, 2026
The VAR-monitor jog & fans coming in peace: The listeners' loves & hates

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the exact gait of a referee going over to check the VAR monitor, a tiny element of Baddiel & Skinner's Three Lions you have probably never noticed, the epidemic of fans "coming in peace" to rival club forums and the exact criteria for a player to be said to be “jumping ship”. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

51 min
May 25, 2026
Spurs circling the drain, European hangover defiance & farmers taking penalties

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: whether West Ham sleepwalked to relegation and if Spurs are now officially "circling the drain", Villa defying their European hangover, forensics are called in on Bruno Fernandes' assists record, Glenn Murray with an unexpected demonym, farmers taking penalties against Chris Kirkland, and a Premier League farewell from Keys & Gray after 34 years. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

46 min
May 20, 2026
Unleash the Arsenal long-reads, Spygate super-schadenfreude & a Bundesliga hoax

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: cutting through the considerable noise of Arsenal's long-awaited Premier League title and the 12-day express saga of Spygate, the Australian Andy Gray, Rory Stewart apparently hearing about VAR for the first time, the one interesting name from the BBC and ITV’s World Cup punditry lineups, eminent anthropologists with Peter Drury’s voice and a suspiciously made-up-looking Bundesliga club. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

57 min
May 18, 2026
Labour's laboured footballspeak, thumpable scorelines & penalty pop-ups

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: an FA Cup final that will live short in the memory, a confident prediction of West Ham's short-term future, some 4/10 football chat from politicians, serviceable Premier League back-up strikers' names in ski equipment, Adam Wharton’s unexpected backflip, some classic early news of England's World Cup camp, and a roving Richard Keys in London. Meanwhile, the panel indulge in a brief history of the between-the-legs flicked finish in English football. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For more info, visit https://saily.com/cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

1 hr 47 min
May 13, 2026
The Football Cliches Quiz XXIV: Cliches vs The Sweeper - The Rematch

The 24th edition of the Football Clichés Quiz sees Adam, Charlie and Dave take on globe-trotting world football storytellers The Sweeper for the second time. The questions include: Argentine footballspeak, obscure ball suppliers, made-up football podcasts, World Cup coastlines, transport-themed top-flight outfits, fake Brazilian internationals and much more. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN You can listen to The Sweeper here: https://linktr.ee/SweeperPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

51 min
May 11, 2026
Corner-kick chaos, a Premier League without a W & Joe Cole at the Ritz

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the slightly overlooked aspects of the West Ham corner chaos, predicting the title of the Arsenal story-of-the-season book, an alphabetical crisis for the Premier League, five-star co-commentary from Joe Cole, how long is too long for a commentator to stay silent after a goal, and footballers’ names in both cheap office furniture and the inexplicably Urdu songs of Robert Palmer. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For more info, visit https://saily.com/cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

46 min
May 7, 2026
The 9.75 role, Tom Hiddleston's Champions League mindset & the Faroese Andy Gray

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural review of the Champions League semi-finals (featuring Daniel Sturridge inventing the "nine and three-quarters" role and the return of CBS's Beckham & Friends), celebration policing ties itself in knots, the Andy Gray of the Faroe Islands, former Wimbledon strikers' names in mid-1960s Marvel comics and a curious Evening With Eden Hazard (feat. Rickie Lambert). Meanwhile, the panel ponder the name and vibe of a hypothetical new fourth UEFA club competition. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

49 min
May 5, 2026
The fixture pile-up threshold, Sean Dyche playing "Sean Dyche" & under-10s trophy parades

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the trickiest title-race-classification task so far, legendary Premier League goalkeepers in petty criminals’ middle names, Sean Dyche's Instagram unveiling, Tim Sherwood on modern football and some awkward football phone-in moments with Chris Sutton. Meanwhile, the panel anticipate Tom Hiddlestone's Champions League punditry and debate how many games constitute a "fixture pile-up". Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

49 min
Apr 30, 2026
Team-talk mythology & the stickers of European toilet cubicles: The listeners' loves & hates

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the mythical status of the half-time team talk, a listener's transcontinental toilet-cubicle sleuthing, nearby fans who state the obvious for 90 minutes and the minor things that instantly shatter the elite-level feel of a professional football match. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

42 min
Apr 27, 2026
Great adverts for the pyramid, technicians of the sphere & Qatar to Coventry in 3 minutes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the threshold for the Premier League to tweet the words "and breathe...", the sound of York City's last-gasp, fifth-tier glory, Paul Scholes at the snooker, Steve Sidwell coins a curious new phrase, RIP Football Focus, some mangled animal-themed football idioms and Richard Keys' 6000-mile Instagrammed odyssey from Qatar to Coventry. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For more info, visit https://saily.com/cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

47 min
Apr 22, 2026
Elite barbers' FPL advantage, the Collins-Tomkins dilemma & doing The Terrestrial

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the greatest player ever to have a surname that starts with the same letter their first name ends with, Morgan Gibbs-White's other hat-trick against Burnley, a chucklesome commentator's curse, Matt Upson tackles some mundane social-video questions, Canadian rock bands in early 90s Premier League commentary, the only English club to have won a competitive game on all five terrestrial TV channels and Matt Le Tissier's battle with the AI chatbots. Meanwhile, the panel tackle the Happy Hunting Grounds Ladder once more. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

46 min
Apr 20, 2026
Lee Dixon on toast, “advantage City” & a commentator's Copacabana complex

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Sunday Supplement pastry queries, a cultural review of Manchester 2 Arsenal 1, Darren Fletcher's ongoing hang-up about Brazilians’ birthplaces, Lee Dixon explaining the concept of "on toast" for US fans and Steve McManaman’s descriptive demonyms. Meanwhile, the panel welcome Coventry City back to the Premier League, with the help of Gary Weaver's commentary and Richard Keys' social media acumen. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For more info, visit https://saily.com/cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

49 min
Apr 15, 2026
Unexpected Stevenage, premature hauntings & the Premier League goal caught on CCTV

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the imminent demise of the iconic Champions League match ball, Carlos Queiroz's highly logical new job, highly obscure football in the background of US crime dramas, worrying gaps appearing in the Premier League Archive, referees in the media, Jorge Mendes-backed dentists and the happy self-employment of Richard Keys. Meanwhile, the panel tackle the formidable quiz challenge of the Happy Hunting Grounds Ladder. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

41 min
Apr 13, 2026
Half-and-half Shakespearean scarves, scouting for Shevchenko & the half-dozen crisis

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a stand-out candidate for commentator's curse of the season, a worrying statistic for Pep Guardiola, the prospect of the first-ever top-flight season without a six-goal win, a confusing abbrevation of Wolverhampton Wanderers, half-and-half scarves at the theatre, Omar Marmoush’s convoluted claim to footballing supremacy, and Richard Keys takes on the continentals. Meanwhile, the panel discover the formation of choice for non-football fans and ponder the psychology behind it. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

1 hr 22 min
Apr 9, 2026
The Football Cliches Quiz XXIII: Cliches vs Career We Go

The 23rd edition of the Football Clichés Quiz sees Adam, Charlie and Nick take on their familiar foes of Bobby, Theo and Eamo from four-time quiz visitors the Career We Go podcast. The questions include: experimental pitch markings, Champions League final losers, solo Prem Portugeezers, Joe-Max Moore’s niche claim to fame, Premier League Dennises, the sound of cult football incidents, incrementally-revealed career paths and, of course, Happy Hunting Grounds. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

45 min
Apr 7, 2026
FA Cup lustre status, Ally McCoist's cliche mashup... and every Premier League game ever

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: reviewing a perfectly-formed set of FA Cup quarter-finals, Ally McCoist combines three subtly different cliches into one, the technicalities of a "see-saw thriller", a potentially terrible football-chant-based TV game show, England strikers' names in 1980s cartoons, the future prospect of Diego Simeone in the Premier League and the universal potential of the phrase "lost a yard". Meanwhile, the panel get stuck into the newly-launched Premier League Archive, which contains highlights of every single top-flight game since 1992. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

1 hr 13 min
Apr 1, 2026
The Extinction XI

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Michael Cox to select a lineup of player types that have - temporarily or permanently - gone out of footballing fashion. The selection process takes in truly unhinged goalkeepers, the 20-year heyday of the sweeper, no-nonsense penalty-taking full-backs, the demise of the Premier League own-goal machine, dedicated man-markers, the surprising nuances of the "free role", portly strikers, beanpole strike partners and the long-lost art of poaching. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive episodes and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

57 min
Mar 30, 2026
Biggleswade bragging rights, Tanzania 0 Liechtenstein 1 & Keysey's perfect Christmas

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Dave's Sunday League management rollercoaster, Ben White's surreal Wembley evening, David Moyes's pointless Brazilian alter ego, Henry Winter on The Killers, the fascinating FIFA Series tournament, the crucial differences between "head to head" and "toe to toe", the football shirts of Butlins, the battle for bragging rights in Biggleswade and some above-average fictional football commentary. Meanwhile, the panel fulfil their solemn duty of reflecting on a frankly sensational newspaper interview with Richard Keys. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

1 hr 8 min
Mar 26, 2026
Football vs The Dictionary: Susie Dent on bus-parking & bouncebackability

The pod welcomes Susie Dent, the queen of Countdown's dictionary corner, to examine the language of football in the sort of detail we've always dreamed of. Susie takes us through the ironic death of the word bouncebackability, why aplomb is not quite as glamorous as it might sound, talismans, gilt-edged changes, what it feels like to be a stalwart, lambasts vs tirades, princocks and pavonisers, and what it really means to be "at sixes and sevens". Meanwhile, there's talk of tinpot dictionaries that just can’t compete with the Big Three, Arsene Wenger speaking a language none of us will understand, and could the "iron bucket" become the new "parking the bus"? Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

43 min
Mar 24, 2026
The Carabao Supremacy, yodelling commentators & the absolute Joe Hart

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural review of the Carabao Cup final, a yodelling commentator at Craven Cottage, Glenn Hoddle's idiosyncrasies rubbing off on his commentary partner, a borderline “rolling back the years” case study, the rise and rise of Joe “Absolute” Hart, FIFA reveal the most "Super Sunday intro" song ever heard... and Richard Keys’ voice in slapstick megalomaniac cartoon villains. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

1 hr 1 min
Mar 19, 2026
GoPro goalkeepers & textbook crossfield-pass apologies: The listeners' loves & hates

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the GoPro goalkeepers of non-league, the concept of an English fan being really, really into the Australian A-League, the "overhit crossfield pass" apology transaction and a man who thinks he’s cracked the pressing structures of elite football in the 2020s. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel discover David Beckham’s under-reported claim to football history and enjoy the latest Cliches-referencing wrestling commentary from the USA. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

53 min
Mar 17, 2026
”My baby looks like Gary Megson", MOTD donking & in dreamland with Bodo/Glimt

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the tense early exchanges of Dave's parenthood, Peter Drury resorting to the L-word at the Emirates on Saturday, Max Dowman's World Cup clamour rating, the use of the word "donk" on Match of the Day, the media's gleeful pursuit of an ever-willing Harry Redknapp, some archive Jonathan Pearce audio, Bodo/Glimt's 2025/26 residency in dreamland, great physicist's names in UEFA Conference League scoreboards and the national panic over English sides' struggles in the Champions League knockouts. Meanwhile, the pod announces the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz game, which is available to play at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

1 hr 9 min
Mar 12, 2026
BBC live-text sad lads & watching football in the boozer, with Jimmy "Dead Pubs" McIntosh

The pod welcomes the writer, esteemed pintsman and creator of Dead Pubs, Jimmy McIntosh, for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among Jimmy's selections are the nuances of watching live games in the pub (feat. Arsenal fans doing the Gyokeres celebration), the pioneering work of sporting director Damien Comolli, British football's aversion to poetic player nicknames, the rise (and potential fall) of "limbs" culture and the logistical nightmare of the half-time stadium pint. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel reflect on the subtler elements of Tuesday night's Atletico-Spurs chaos. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

47 min
Mar 10, 2026
FA Cup scares/dumpings/cruises, dark orange cards & Roman gladiator VAR

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a new shade of yellow card is invented, VAR delays in Roman times, legendary goalscorers' names in police documentaries, Neil Warnock's ultra-obscure cultural references in post-match interviews and Richard Keys on Indy 500 hosting duties. Meanwhile, the panel classify each FA Cup fifth-round exit/progression and ponder if someone could ever win player of the month with just a single-game performance. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

50 min
Mar 5, 2026
The freefall threshold, Benjamin Sesko's windows & the streets forgetting Santiago Munez

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and James Maw. On the agenda: the official start to the business end of the season, Wolves getting people whispering, Evann Guessand's very precise transfer clause, other podcasts adopting the Cliches Way, Benjamin Sesko's windows, Emma Radacanu's Watford coaches and Richard Keys featuring in a sensational URL. Meanwhile, the panel determine the exact criteria for a team to be in “freefall” and which football clubs have the most similar level of prestige as their local university. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

1 hr 2 min
Mar 3, 2026
Co-commentary cues, flopping full-backs & the "one of our own" threshold, with Lucy Ward

The pod welcomes TNT Sports co-commentator Lucy Ward for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as she chooses her six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among Lucy's selections are the joy of young players making their senior debut, fence-perching and megaphone-toting Continental ultras, the post-goal cue for a co-commentator to wax lyrical, the "Ayling Flop" and clubs tenuously claiming youth signings as "one of their own". Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel hear an unexpected pre-penalty shout at Yeovil, ponder a potential technicality in awarding the save of the season, and get mathematical about passes being put on a proverbial "sixpence". Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

56 min
Feb 26, 2026
The 5-a-side keepers' union & World Cup pub bunting: The listeners' loves & hates

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the mid-game solidarity between opposing 5-a-side goalkeepers, top-half teams with wildly anomalous goal differences, managers who performatively refuse to watch their players taking penalties, and the attitude of pubs towards their flag-based bunting during major tournaments. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy a quintessentially Scottish football phone-in caller and a listener flags a very niche noise made by a commentator that we will now never be able to ignore. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

53 min
Feb 24, 2026
Literally ghosting, Larry David's Champions League commentary & Sir Alex's 2011/12 title curse

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and, for his 100th appearance, Nick Miller. On the agenda: a cultural review of the North London derby, the threshold for a team "laying a glove" on the opposition, Champions League commentary with an unexpected voice twin, the concept of “losing the dressing room” handily explained by the BBC, the latest superbly-named Brazilian youth player and a classic Richard Keys interview from the late 1980s. Meanwhile, the panel reveal the real reason that Manchester City pipped Manchester United to the Premier League title in 2012. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For more info, visit https://saily.com/cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

41 min
Feb 19, 2026
Hoddle's Curse strikes again, the world-record fans' favourite & a saucy U-turn

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Glenn Hoddle suffers the commentator's curse in the Champions League once again, Tony Dorigo's possible claim to an obscure football record, Coventry 3 Middlesbrough 1 boiled down to its purest Gary Weaver, an unexpected return for Gazzetta Football Italia (sort of), and the news of a football-themed Dutch reality TV show. Meanwhile, the panel decide the most acceptable moment and game state for a fanbase to ask their manager to "give them a wave". Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

49 min
Feb 17, 2026
The Forest-Watford Vortex, champagne players & Pep vs Daffy Duck

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Pep Guardiola vs Daffy Duck in a fight for the soul of the FA Cup, whistling co-commentators, footballers’ names in US cop documentaries, Jamie O’Hara and Jason Cundy exceed themselves on Talksport, Michael Owen vs Ryan Giggs in the "Far East betting company ambassador video" stakes and predicting Richard Keys’ next withering managerial nickname. Meanwhile, the panel ponder the most Watfordy Nottingham Forest manager never to manage Watford... and vice versa. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For more info, visit https://saily.com/cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

49 min
Feb 12, 2026
Generic Spurs punditry, regurgitating possession & ding-dong stalemates: The 500th episode

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the 500th episode of the podcast. On the agenda: the finer details and ramifications of Thomas Frank being sacked by Spurs, celebrity chefs' names in Premier League goals, superb sponsors in National League clubs’ full-time tweets, Adidas releasing a disgustingly expensive multipack of every World Cup ball ever, the dubious concept of a "ding-dong stalemate", and the least exciting "Winner Stays On" TikTok video football will ever produce. Meanwhile, the panel attempt another scaling of the Happy Hunting Grounds Ladder, the ultimate Premier League goalscoring quiz challenge. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

44 min
Feb 10, 2026
Introverted full-backs, radio commentary synchronicity & the Champions League of trees

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Steve Bruce adds a crucial syllable to Pep Guardiola's legacy, gloriously synchronised radio commentary at Derby County, an unlikely candidate to be the new David Attenborough, an all-conquering UK tree qualifies for Europe, and a new use for the much-maligned Stockley Park. Meanwhile, the panel pick apart the confused, "common sense"-obsessed discourse in the aftermath of Liverpool 1 Manchester City 2. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For more info, visit https://saily.com/cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

56 min
Feb 5, 2026
”Absolute wimp", Arsenal's pre-ignited quadruple & a Doha denouement

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Carabao Cup curiosities, the exact status of Arsenal's quadruple hopes, a very subtle footballing prefix for a certain level of player, two listeners submit their 1,500-word mini-thesis on what constitutes a “finish”, the January Transfers That Just Feel So Right XI and a first-ever attempt at quiz format Happy Hunting Grounds: The Ladder. Meanwhile, the panel react to the bombshell news of Keys & Gray's departure from beIN Sports at the end of this season. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

44 min
Feb 3, 2026
Scorpion scepticism, 80% ball knowledge & Conor Coady's Football Clubs (2026 edition)

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: subtle podcast references at the darts, goal probabilities with Clinton Morrison, West Brom fans' limited patience with their new manager, football boot manufacturers appearing in Latin epic poems, Conor Coady goes full Conor Coady in his first interview as a Charlton player and selecting the best moment of Ian Holloway's latest outburst. Meanwhile, the panel debate the aesthetic and technical merits of scorpion-kick goals and ponder the exact level of their own "ball knowledge". Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For more info, visit https://saily.com/cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

59 min
Jan 29, 2026
Flats that overlook stadiums & the optimum time for Sky Sports News: The listeners' loves & hates

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are Gary Neville's preoccupation with a specific touch of the ball before a shot, the best way to really enjoy an uninterrupted hour of Sky Sports News, the awkwardness of fans sat behind corner takers and a staunch defence of pundits’ right to state the obvious. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel try to decipher an Arsene Wenger sample in avant-garde music and enjoy a former Premier League defender's name popping up at the Cyclocross World Cup. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

52 min
Jan 27, 2026
The "what's eating Erling Haaland?" threshold, FA Cup anthem fears & Gary Weaver's Circle of Goals

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a quickfire review of Arsenal 2 Manchester United 3, unacceptably-named Premier League top scorers in football-adjacent Danny Dyer film trailers, the prospect of an FA Cup "anthem", 12.1 seconds of a commentator not realising a team have scored and unexpected ex-Prime Ministers in the Kenyan fifth division. Meanwhile, the panel speculate on how a mundane, single-goal, mid-table game could get itself first in the Match of the Day running order. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices