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The listeners' loves & hates — episodes
Players spotting themselves on the big screen & ironic referee cheering
Beating the commentators to the punch and the ideal conditions for nothing doing
Styling out fake injuries & How long ref?!
Sunday League set-piece routines, the ole threshold & mistimed minute's applauses
Portrait-aspect football & England managers in the stands
How to celebrate an own goal & ball-boy etiquette
Snuffing out the danger, pre-match strolling & drinking the opposition's water
Football's present-tense addiction & penalty shootout celebrations
5-a-side injury updates & watching TV football from an acute angle
Goalkeepers' headers & elasticos on the deck of the Titanic
Panenka-triggered goalkeepers & empty-net warm-up anxieties
Playing for your dad's team & mercifully short injury time
Scottish League Two scores, leaked fines lists & the sixth penalty taker
The Club X til I die loophole & torn hamstrings at the Battle of Hastings
Glove-spitting goalkeepers & edge-of-the-D drama at five-a-side
Flats that overlook stadiums & the optimum time for Sky Sports News
The 5-a-side keepers' union & World Cup pub bunting
GoPro goalkeepers & textbook crossfield-pass apologies
Team-talk mythology & the stickers of European toilet cubicles