The Bodies Behind the Bus is a podcast centering on the voices of spiritual abuse survivors. We began with stories out of the Acts 29 network and have branched into many organizations since our launch. We are the discarded few. We have been abused, gaslit, ignored, slandered, deceived, intentionally hurt, and betrayed. Our stories were manipulated and our voices were stolen. We were left alone with all the confusion, grief, hurt, and pain but today we begin to reclaim our stories and find our voices once again because we matter, and being a body behind the bus is not the gospel.
Why listen
Bodies Behind The Bus gives spiritual abuse survivors room to tell the full story, usually in long, careful first-person conversations hosted by Johnna and Jay. The show is especially valuable for listeners processing church harm, high-control ministry cultures, evangelical power dynamics, or the slow work of reclaiming a voice after being silenced.
Series(5)
Episodes
Michelle shares her story of serving on staff at a church in Indiana, where subtle control, blurred pastoral authority, financial pressure, and spiritual manipulation slowly became clear over time. Her story names the confusion of being labeled, silenced, and pushed to question herself while navigating deep personal and family crisis. Through telling the truth, Michelle begins reclaiming the voice she was told to bury.Support the show
Katie shares her story of growing up in a highly controlled religious environment, entering a young marriage shaped by strict gender roles, and spending years overseas as a missionary. Through the pressures of ministry, isolation, and motherhood, she began to recognize patterns of emotional and spiritual harm in her life. This episode follows her journey of unraveling those beliefs, finding her voice, and taking steps toward healing and freedom. Support the show
Katherine shares her journey from a young missionary sent overseas to confronting the realities of faith, sacrifice, and survival. Raised in the church and driven by a deep sense of purpose, she and her husband moved to the Middle East in their early twenties, navigating cultural barriers, personal risk, and the complexities of mission work. After experiencing trauma, health crises, and the unraveling of expectations, Katherine reflects on identity, belief, and what it means to rebuild life after everything changes.Support the show
Dominique shares her experience at The Austin Stone, where she became deeply involved in church life, missions, and leadership development as a young woman. In this episode, she reflects on the pressure, isolation, racial dynamics, and harmful church culture she encountered, and why telling the truth about those experiences matters.Support the show
Alicia served for years as both a volunteer leader and staff member at a growing non-denominational church in Ohio. After becoming deeply involved in ministry and church leadership, she began noticing troubling patterns within the church’s culture and leadership structure. In this episode, Alicia courageously shares her story and reflects on the impact spiritual manipulation can have on individuals and communities.Support the show
In this episode of Bodies Behind the Bus, Julia shares her story of becoming involved in an Acts 29 affiliated church plant that gradually shifted from hopeful beginnings into a culture of control, blurred boundaries, and spiritual harm. As she navigated marriage struggles, postpartum depression, and increasing pressure from church leadership, Julia began to see how manipulation, unmet promises, and power dynamics shaped her experience. Her story offers an honest look at how environments that appear vibrant and supportive can also cause deep personal and spiritual wounds.Support the show
In this episode of Bodies Behind the Bus, we’re joined by Ciji, founder of Louder Than Silence, an organization providing free, trauma-specific care and community for survivors of sexual violence. Together, we explore what trauma-informed spaces actually look like, the difference between big-T and little-t trauma, and how harm often compounds in faith communities through misplaced authority, lack of boundaries, and spiritual bypassing.This conversation centers on personal agency, the limits of pastoral care, and why learning to trust your body is essential to healing. A grounded, honest discussion for anyone navigating trauma, faith, and the search for truly safe community.Support the show
In the final episode of this three-part series, Christy and Joshua come together to reflect on the shared impact of spiritual abuse and the long road toward truth and healing. Their conversation explores how harm reverberates through relationships, what accountability should look like, and what it means to move forward without erasing what happened. This closing chapter centers survivor clarity, connection, and the power of telling the full story.Support the show
In Episode 2 of this three-part series, Christy shares her story of spiritual harm, silence, and survival within church systems that protected power over people. She reflects on the personal cost of being unheard, the impact on identity and faith, and the long road toward naming what happened. Christy’s testimony deepens the series by centering the lived experience of abuse and the courage it takes to speak after being dismissed.Support the show
In Episode 1 of this three-part series, Joshua shares his story of spiritual harm, silencing, and the cost of telling the truth inside church systems built to protect power. His testimony traces the personal and relational fallout of abuse, the pressure to stay quiet, and the long road toward clarity and agency. This episode centers Joshua’s voice and sets the foundation for the series to come.Support the show
DACA Family Support FundIn this episode of Bodies Behind the Bus, hosts Johnna and Jay sit down with author and pastor Caleb Campbell, author of Disarming Leviathan: Loving Your Christian Nationalist Neighbor. Together, they discuss faith, justice, and compassion in the face of political division, as well as their joint fundraiser supporting a DACA recipient fighting to stay with their family in the U.S. The conversation explores Christian nationalism, the role of the church in justice work, and how love and community can bring healing in divided times.Support the show
In this episode of Just Calling, hosts Johnna and Jay continue their conversation with author and justice advocate Joash Thomas about his book The Justice of Jesus. Together, they unpack what it means to “decolonize our budgets” exploring how faith, money, and justice intersect within the modern church. The discussion challenges listeners to reimagine generosity, confront systems of privilege, and practice a faith rooted in tangible care for the marginalized.Get you a copy of The Justice of Jesus HERESupport the show
In this Just Calling episode, the hosts talk about empire, power, and how faith communities are being influenced by political systems. The conversation unpacks a recent government filing showing efforts to target U.S. churches through digital campaigns and explores what faithful resistance looks like today.FARA filingAcross The Divide PodcastThe Justice of JesusSupport the show
In this episode, Cameron shares his powerful story of serving for sixteen years at one of Arizona’s largest megachurches, a place where faith, control, and fear collided. From witnessing the enforcement of “alignment” policies to experiencing personal retaliation and deep spiritual betrayal, Cameron opens up about what it meant to lose his community while finding his voice. His courage sheds light on how systems of power can twist spiritual language to maintain control and how healing begins with truth.Support the show
Introducing Just Calling — In this first episode of the series, Bodies Behind the Bus sits down with author and advocate Rev. Joash Thomas to talk about his new book The Justice of Jesus. Together, we explore what it means to move from diagnosis to a hopeful prognosis for the church, diving into themes of justice, decolonization, and the everyday choices that shape faithful living.www.joashpthomas.comPick Up "The Justice of Jesus" By Rev. Joash P. Thomas HERESupport the show
In this episode of At the Bus Stop, we sit down with David and Margaret Bronson to uncover the dangers of Theonomy, Christian Reconstructionism, and the influence of leaders like Doug Wilson. The Bronsons share their personal experiences, explain how these teachings shape churches and politics, and discuss the lasting impact on survivors. They also highlight their work with Deconstruction Doulas and their efforts to build a Survivor Care Network that provides safety, healing, and hope for those leaving high-control religious environments. Their nonprofit is in the process of receiving 501(c)(3) status. Learn more and support their work at their GoFundMe page.Follow on IG @deconstructiondoulasAlexander H. Stephens Corner Stone SpeechSupport the show
In this episode of Bodies Behind the Bus, we sit down with Dr. Camden Morgante, a licensed psychologist, author, and speaker. Dr. Camden is the author of Recovering from Purity Culture, a book that helps individuals move beyond harmful teachings and begin the journey of healing. She shares insights from her work with clients, her own experiences, and her research into purity culture, offering a compassionate perspective on how people can begin to reconnect with themselves and their faith.Instagram - drcamdenWebsite - drcamden.comBook - Recovering from Purity CultureSupport the show
https://julieroys.com/alleged-victim-worship-pastor-aaron-ivey-speaks-out-megachurchs-prior-statement/Support the show
In this episode of the Bodies Behind the Bus podcast, Kenny shares his experience in the worship residency program at The Austin Stone. He recounts his initial passion for ministry, his transition from law school ambitions to church work, and the realities of support-raising, manual labor, and lack of mentorship during his time in the program. Kenny also reflects on his concerns with the church’s culture of celebrity and financial practices, the exploitation he witnessed, and the broader systemic failures he observed.Support the show
James shares his experience with the Austin Stone church, including his early motivations for moving to Austin, the challenges he faced as a Mexican American in a predominantly white evangelical institution, and the barriers to leadership he encountered despite his qualifications. He discusses his experience raising support, internal cultural tensions, tokenism, health struggles tied to workplace stress, and the events that led to his departure from staff. The conversation highlights systemic issues within church leadership structures, particularly around race, power, and access.*Correction: James references reading through MLK’s “I have a Dream” speech and wanted to clarify it was actually “Letter from Birmingham Jail”Support the show
Kelley joins the podcast to share her experience as both a former member of the Austin Stone church and staff member of its affiliated nonprofit, For the City. She discusses the church’s culture, internal power dynamics, financial mismanagement, and the challenges of working within a complementarian system. Kelley reflects on her personal story of spiritual and emotional harm, organizational dysfunction, and the long-term impact of abusive structures masked by ministry language. Her story highlights broader patterns of spiritual and institutional abuse within the Austin Stone and similar evangelical networks.Support the show
Ben joins the Bodies Behind the Bus podcast to share his experience at Austin Stone Church, a large SBC-affiliated church in Austin, Texas. He reflects on his decade-long involvement, including leadership roles and the creation of a ministry for LGBTQIA+ individuals. The conversation explores church culture, leadership dynamics, personal transformation, and the challenges of reconciling faith with identity. Ben also discusses his departure from the church and the emotional and relational costs of stepping away from evangelical expectations.Support the show
In this episode of Bodies Behind the Bus, B shares her deeply personal story about the emotional toll of navigating immigration, identity, and faith. B recounts her years at the Austin Stone Church in Austin, Texas, where she joined a residency program to serve the local Latino community, only to face institutional racism, cultural insensitivity, and burnout. Her story highlights the disconnect between church rhetoric and practice, especially around issues of justice, immigration, and diversity, and offers a candid look at the emotional and spiritual cost of being marginalized in faith-based spaces.Support the show
In this episode, Johnna & Jay introduce a new four-part series investigating The Austin Stone Church in Austin, Texas. Joined by Board member Emily, they discuss the church’s influential role in evangelical culture, its connections to Acts 29 and the SBC, and a troubling pattern of abuse, cover-ups, and systemic harm within its leadership and programs. The episode highlights the church’s public image versus its internal realities, and previews the survivor stories that will follow in the coming weeks.Support the show
In this episode, Jay and Johnna debrief the 2025 Southern Baptist Convention annual meeting. They discuss why Johnna chose to attend alone, the deaths of two high-profile survivors—Jennifer Lyell and Duane Rollins—and the emotional and physical toll survivor advocacy has taken. They reflect on the SBC’s failure to follow through on promised reforms, the lack of accountability, and the ongoing harm caused by the institution’s refusal to meaningfully address abuse. The episode also explores the role of power, complicity, and silence within evangelical culture, as well as the broader implications for churches and Christian communities across the country.Support the show
This episode examines the legacy of the Indian Removal Act of 1830 and draws a clear line from that policy to other moments of systemic injustice in American history—slavery, Japanese internment, discriminatory policing, and modern ICE raids. Through historical analysis and personal reflection, Jay challenges the narrative of American exceptionalism, exposes the role of the white church in reinforcing inequality, and confronts the systems that sustain white supremacy.Support the show
Mollie Callahan, spiritual director and seminary student, joins to discuss the misuse of church discipline, its harmful impact, and how scripture has often been misapplied in these situations. She examines 1 Corinthians 5, Matthew 18, and stories like the woman caught in adultery, Zacchaeus, and the woman at the well to reframe church discipline through the lens of Jesus’ compassion, agency, and pursuit of the hurting.Support the show
In this episode, Joyce shares her story of involvement in a PCA church in Florida and how her experience of marriage, faith, and community unfolded over more than a decade. She describes the early support her family received, her deep investment in church life, and how that shifted when she began raising concerns about her marriage. Joyce outlines the church’s response, her efforts to seek counseling, the process of pursuing divorce, and the consequences that followed, including church discipline. This episode examines how systems designed for accountability can fail those in crisis and how theological frameworks can impact the choices survivors feel they’re allowed to make. An update on Joyce’s situation is shared at the end of the episode.Support the show
In this “At the Bus Stop” episode, Dr. Jared Stacy, a theologian and ethicist, joins Johnna and Jay to unpack the link between conspiracy theories, Christian nationalism, and the culture of abuse within white evangelical spaces. Drawing from his personal experience and academic research, Jared explores how storytelling shapes power, how conspiracy theories thrive in religious communities, and why many churches prioritize maintaining societal structures over faithful witness. The conversation also delves into the dehumanizing effects of disinformation, the role of the church in rural America, and what it means to follow Jesus in a moment of cultural and political disreality. Jared’s upcoming book offers language and insight for those wrestling with these complex dynamics.Jared’s Substack: (19) The Homeward Dispatches | Jared Stacy | SubstackMore from Jared: https://linktr.ee/jstacySupport the show
Be sure to listen to episode 79 “Alicia’s Story” to hear about her experience with this same pastor. Alicia’s Story: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/alicias-story-columbus-oh/id1601586078?i=1000663185044Support the show
In this community conversation, the team from Bodies Behind the Bus responds to recent events involving The New Evangelicals and the release of a NetGrace investigation. They share their perspectives on accountability, integrity, and the responsibility of platforms in survivor spaces.Allegations against Tim Whitaker and The New Evangelicals show how hierarchy transfers to progressive ministries | BAPTIST NEWS GLOBALSupport the show
Buy the book here! Becoming the Pastor's Wife: How Marriage Replaced Ordination as a Woman's Path to Ministry by Beth Allison Barr, Hardcover | Barnes & Noble®In this episode of The Bodies Behind the Bus Podcast, we welcome Beth Allison Barr, historian, professor, and author of The Making of Biblical Womanhood and her latest book, Becoming the Pastor’s Wife. Beth shares her insights on the historical roots of patriarchy in the church, the erasure of women in ministry, and the complex role of pastor’s wives in evangelical spaces. She unpacks the ways in which women have been silenced, how the Southern Baptist Convention’s structures perpetuate inequality, and why understanding history is crucial to moving forward.Support the show
This episode of Bodies Behind the Bus features Margaret Bronson and Eric Isaac discussing the rise of Christian nationalism and its intersection with fundamentalist cult beliefs. Margaret shares insights from her experience in a high-control religious group, highlighting issues of female subjugation, the quiverfull movement, lack of education, and financial entrapment. Eric connects these experiences to broader patterns of spiritual abuse, coercion, and religious power structures. The conversation explores how extreme fundamentalist ideologies are becoming mainstream in America, their ties to white supremacy, and the political implications of these beliefs.Margaret’s ig: https://www.instagram.com/margaretrosebronson?igsh=cW5nbHZ1ZnQ4dTU0Margaret’s Website: https://www.deconstructiondoulas.com/Eric’s thesis: https://digitalcommons.fiu.edu/etd/5151/Support the show
Subscribe to Jemar’s Substack Here: Footnotes by Jemar Tisby | Jemar Tisby, PhD | SubstackBuy “The Spirit of Justice” https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-spirit-of-justice-stories-of-faith-race-and-resistance-jemar-tisby/20859536?ean=9780310144854“I Am the Spirit of Justice” for kids ages 4-7 https://bookshop.org/p/books/i-am-the-spirit-of-justice-jemar-tisby/21291875?ean=9780310145561“Stories of The Spirit of Justice” for kids ages 8-12+https://bookshop.org/p/books/stories-of-the-spirit-of-justice-jemar-tisby/21291877?ean=9780310145592Additional Books by Jemar: https://jemartisby.com/books/Support the show
Walker contact: [email protected] contact: [email protected] to Transcript from Concerned Congregant meeting (200 in attendance) - October 2021https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MUJ_ri2nuRP2vnAf6oU1iXIGljSVFHu3/view?usp=sharingCongregant Feedback Survey (leadership stated they didn't think there were any concerns following the October meeting, and then refused to start the GRACE survey (which was ready) in December 2021 so congregants did their own survey) https://drive.google.com/file/d/1P1Qx8_kx9AFLBwUdTHzLJ_CMlzni6bM8/view?usp=sharingNDA document -https://drive.google.com/file/d/11mn6mrHTZ4VVvEQAUHZnqwCgRd5IHlaS/view?usp=sharingFind more information, and future stories here - https://chapelhillbiblechurch.org/ Keep up with all things on X @CHBConfidential Support the show
Walker contact: [email protected] contact: [email protected] document -https://drive.google.com/file/d/11mn6mrHTZ4VVvEQAUHZnqwCgRd5IHlaS/view?usp=sharingFind more information, and future stories here - https://chapelillbiblechurch.org/ Keep up with all things on X @CHBConfidential Support the show
Chapel Hill Bible Church: Pastor Eric McKiddie Is Gone and Pastor Jay Thomas Is Under Fire - thewartburgwatch.comChapel Hill Bible Church: A Petition Signed by 78 and the Use of NDAs to Keep Things on the Down Low. What’s Going On With the Leaders? - thewartburgwatch.comProminent North Carolina Church Embroiled in Controversy Following Alleged Abuse & 3 Investigations - julieroys.comChapel Hill Bible Church leaders face allegations, investigations over abusive behavior - dailytarheel.comChapel Hill Bible Church was multiracial before January 6 - washingtonpost.comSupport the show
Support the podcast HERE, and thank you for daring to listen.We are 100% funded by donations. We committed early on never to monetize survivor stories, and your financial contribution allows us to continue this work. Please consider becoming a monthly donor and joining us in our mission to amplify the voices of those dedicated to transformation toward greater inclusivity, justice, and compassion. We are a recognized 501(c)(3), and all donations are tax-deductible.Support the show
Watch the video of this episode HERESupport the Podcast HEREIn this episode, the Bodies Behind the Bus board gathers to discuss the heavy realities of navigating faith, justice, and advocacy in a fractured America. They explore the impact of systemic religious abuse, the emboldening of harmful rhetoric, and the personal toll of continuing to fight for marginalized communities. The episode is a candid look at grief, exhaustion, and the fire that drives change, while also honoring the voices of survivors and the commitment to amplifying their stories.Listeners will hear reflections on what it means to live and work in integrity, how to support vulnerable communities, and the challenges of confronting systemic failures in both the church and society at large. This episode is a call to action, a space for lament, and a testament to resilience.Support the show
FOR OUR DAUGHTERS Official Film LinkSupport the show
Eric Isaac BioEric’s ThesisSupport the show
Fire In The Whole Book LinkRobert Callahan's LinktreeSupport the show
Episode Resources:https://www.netgrace.org/resources/to-suffer-in-silenceMale Survivor Stories - DAVID PITTMANhttps://together-we-heal.orghttps://www.netgrace.org/independent-investigationsSupport the show
Wartburg Watch: https://thewartburgwatch.com/2024/07/19/an-sbc-and-9-marks-church-edgefield-nashville-appeared-to-allow-a-violent-convicted-pedophile-michael-brake-considerable-freedom-in-the-church-for-years-could-there-be-other-victims/Simon’s blog: https://cheapgrace.substack.com/Dave Pittman NetGRACE video: https://youtu.be/26E4bRweK6E?feature=sharedSupport the show
Ep Resources:Mental Health/PsychologyParenting from the Inside Out by Dan Siegel and Mary HartzellOn Grief and Grieving by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David KesslerShe Deserves Better by Sheila Wray Gregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, and Joanna SawatskyWorthy by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Eric Schumacher (this is the book I couldn’t remember in the podcast!)The Body Keeps the Score by Bessell van der KolkRedeeming Power by Diane LangbergSet Boundaries, Find Peace and Drama Free by Nedra Glover Tawwab (These also have workbooks sold separately)Deconstruction/ReconstructionJesus and John Wayne by Kristen Kobez du MezThe Making of Biblical Womanhood by Beth Allison BarrThe Bible vs. Biblical Womanhood by Philip PayneUntwisting Scriptures series by Rebecca DavisGaslighted by God by Tiffany Yecke BrooksSupport the show
What is Clergy Sexual Abuse? (Video)clergysexualmisconduct.comContact Stephanie: [email protected] the show
Event w/ Emily Maynard RegistrationSupport the show
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