Episodes

2d ago

In this episode, I explore the trauma responses many of us developed just to survive childhood and why they still show up in our adult lives. I’ll break down the main trauma responses, the core wounds they originate from, and how these patterns are shaped by growing up with narcissistic parents. I’ll also walk you through the four types of narcissistic parents and how each one impacts a child’s nervous system, sense of self, and relationships, and why your responses were never flaws, they were there survival responses! Most importantly, we’ll talk about healing: how to begin meeting the wounds underneath your trauma responses with compassion, safety, and choice, rather than shame. This episode is for anyone who has ever asked, “Why do I react this way?” and is ready to move beyond survival and into self-trust and emotional freedom If you'd like to know more about my parenting course - add your name here BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Dec 12

This week, I'm unpacking one of the most common yet misunderstood experiences for adult children of narcissistic abuse: N arcissistic Parentification . I’ll walk through the different roles the children are cast into; Scapegoat Child, Golden Child, Enmeshed / Gilded Child, The Invisible Child, and how these roles profoundly shape your relationships, boundaries, identity, and sense of self today. By understanding the dynamics behind the role you were assigned, you can finally challenge the narratives that kept you small and start healing on your own terms. If you'd like to know more about my parenting course - add your name here BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Dec 5

In today’s episode, I'm diving into Instrumental Parentification — a dynamic where a child becomes the household’s “mini Cinderella.” They’re the ones cooking, cleaning, managing bills and appointments, caring for siblings, or even being conditioned into the role of caregiver for an ill family member. We’ll explore how these adult-sized responsibilities shape a child’s sense of self, and how the impact often follows them into adulthood, influencing their relationships - especially with their siblings. Listen to understand how this pattern develops, why it’s so damaging, and what healing can look like. Get notified about the next Calmer Parent Method with Katie McKenna BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Nov 28

In this solo episode, I’m diving into the topic of parentification — what it looks like, how to recognise it, and why naming your experience is the essential first step toward healing. Before we can deconstruct and dismantle the roles and patterns we grew up with, we need the language to understand what truly happened to us. I’ll be sharing real, relatable examples to help you spot the subtle and not-so-subtle signs of parentification in your own family system and explore how these dynamics may have shaped your sense of self, relationships, and emotional world. This episode will help you recognise the signs of parentification - for you or your siblings - and begin making sense of your story with clarity and compassion. * If you'd like to know when I'm running my next parenting course - add your name here BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Nov 21

In today’s episode, we dive deep into the complex topic of enmeshment —what it is, how it forms, and what healthy family patterns actually look like. We explore the journey of emancipation: how to recognise the conditioned roles you were assigned in childhood and, most importantly, how to break free from them. Joining us is Dr. Ken Adams , renowned national lecturer, workshop leader, and consultant specializing in child abuse, dysfunctional family systems, and sex addiction. Dr. Adams is the acclaimed author of Silently Seduced , When He’s Married to Mom , and A Light in the Dark . Together, we unpack the dynamics of enmeshment and offer insights on reclaiming your autonomy and emotional freedom. www.drkenadams.com www.overcomingenmeshment.com Follow Dr. Adams on TikTok BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Nov 14

“I started this work at the age of 19. I was a child abuse advocate, a sexual abuse advocate, a domestic violence advocate, a therapist — and yet, I didn’t know it was happening to me.” Dr. Christine Cocchiola is a leading expert on the experience of adult and child victims of coercive control. But even with all her knowledge and training, she found herself living inside the very dynamic she’d dedicated her life to understanding and preventing. In this powerful and deeply personal conversation, Dr. Cocchiola shares her own story — the signs she missed, the psychological grip of coercive control, the impact on children, and how to recognise it in your own relationship. She also offers essential guidance on how to protect children from a coercively controlling parent. This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to understand the hidden dynamics of control and reclaim their sense of safety and self. Follow Dr. Christine Cocchiola on Instagram Follow Dr. Christine Cocchiola on Facebook www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com Ted X Talk - It's All Coercive Control BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Nov 7

Solo Episode - This week on Beyond Survival – The Therapy Podcast , I’m unpacking the truth behind people pleasing. So often we think of it as a habit or personality trait - but in reality, it’s a deeply ingrained survival response. When a child grows up in dysfunction, their nervous system learns that safety comes from centering others and erasing themselves. This fawning response isn’t about being “too nice” - it’s about self-abandonment learned in an environment where needs, emotions, and authenticity weren’t safe. Join me as I explore how this pattern forms, how it shows up in adulthood, and what healing looks like when we start to reclaim our right to exist, take up space, and be seen. Receive information from me on The Calmer Parent BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Oct 31

This week a listener asks a question: How do I let go of all the rage? After years of no contact with her abusive family, she’s exhausted by how much power the past still has over her present. She doesn’t want revenge or empty apologies - she just wants peace. But how do you move forward when there will never be justice? In this episode, we explore what rage really is beneath the surface, why it can feel impossible to release, and how to begin freeing yourself from its grip so you can finally start living for you. Follow Dr. Ruth Callaghan on TikTok Follow Dr. Ruth Callaghan on Instagram Follow Dr. Ruth Callaghan on YouTube www.callaghancounselling.ie BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Oct 24

This week, I read a letter from a listener who’s been no contact with her mother for two years - but still feels like she’s living with her shadow. Every bark of the dog, every knock at the door, sends her body into high alert. Even something as simple as checking the mailbox feels dangerous. Myself and Dr. Ruth Callaghan will explore what it’s like when no contact doesn’t bring peace, and how our nervous system can become stuck in fight/flight - especially when the person we’re protecting ourselves from once felt impossible to escape. Follow Dr. Ruth Callaghan on TikTok Follow Dr. Ruth Callaghan on Instagram Follow Dr. Ruth Callaghan on YouTube www.callaghancounselling.ie BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Oct 17

Question - "I'm never going to find her easy but how do I regulate after exposure to her?" In this episode, we hear from a listener - an only child - who has spent a lifetime navigating exhaustion, guilt, and confusion in her relationship with her aging mother. Her mother calls her “my everything,” professes deep love, yet never asks about her life or family. Instead, she elicits promises, plays the victim, uses guilt to control, and bends the truth to suit her narrative. For this listener, going no contact isn’t an option. So she’s learning to hold firmer boundaries — limiting visits, stepping back from constant caretaking, and seeing the manipulation for what it is — but still battles the heavy weight of guilt and self-doubt: “Am I being too harsh?” With growing self-awareness and hard-won clarity, she asks a powerful question: "How do I regulate better when with her - and after?" Together, Ruth and I explore how to stay grounded in contact with a narcissistic parent, how to recover from the emotional crash afterward, and how true healing often means redefining love, responsibility, and self-worth on your own terms. Follow Dr. Callaghan on TikTok Follow Dr. Callaghan on Instagram Follow Dr. Callaghan on YouTube www.callaghancounselling.ie BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Oct 10

This week, we read a powerful letter from a listener whoasks myself and Dr. Ruth Callaghan the question: "How do I decide whether or not to go no contact? I can't seem to spend time with them that doesn't involve drama ?" The listener describes growing up with a mum who seemed caring on the surface — "never shouting, just nagging, crying and hounding me, until she gets her own way" — and a dad who told her to “keep the peace.” Now, as a mother herself, every attempt to set a healthy boundary is met with guilt, tears, and emotional pressure. In this episode, we explore what it’s like when love comes with strings attached, how emotional manipulation can hide behind the illusion of softness, and the painful process of deciding whether connection is still possible — or whether protecting yourself means finally walking away. Follow Dr. Ruth Callaghan on TikTok Follow Dr. Ruth Callaghan on Instagram Follow Dr. Ruth Callaghan on YouTube www.callaghancounselling.ie BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Oct 3

Trigger Warning: Sexual Abuse Q "What I’m currently struggling with is this pattern I have where if there is a pause in our physical intimacy due to life stress or other circumstances I feel incredibly afraid and triggered into feeling worthless and think our relationship is doomed." In this deeply moving episode, we explore the lasting impact of childhood trauma on even the healthiest adult relationships. A listener grew up with a covertly narcissistic mother, being placed in the “gilded child” role, and enduring emotional enmeshment and covert sexual abuse. After confronting her past and investing in recovery, she finds herself triggered by fears of abandonment and worthlessness whenever intimacy shifts in her relationship. Together Ruth and I unpack how childhood wounds can resurface in adult partnerships, why healing can feel like a maze, and what tangible, actionable, steps can help move from old patterns of survival into deeper connection and trust. Follow Dr. Ruth Callaghan on Instagram Follow Dr. Ruth Callaghan on TikTok www.callaghancounselling.ie YouTube Dr. Ruth Callaghan BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Sep 26

These weeks listener asks these 3 questions Is it unrealistic to expect her to change? How do I get her voice out of my head that I’m in the wrong? Have others found a way to be in a relationship with a mother with narcissistic tendencies Listen as Ruth & Katie unpack these questions and what they really mean for your healing, your boundaries, and your sense of self. Follow Ruth on TikTok Follow Ruth on Instagram www.callaghancounselling.ie BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Sep 19

How do we learn to parent, or even reparent ourselves, if we never had a model of healthy parenting? In this week’s episode, we explore three powerful themes: our responsibility as parents, how to navigate our own triggers, and whether it’s really possible to “overlove” a child and risk raising a narcissist. We also share some of our own fears and struggles, and offer practical, tangible advice on how to navigate these challenges with more confidence and compassion. Follow Ruth on TikTok Follow Ruth on Instagram www.callaghancounselling.ie BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Sep 12

This week’s listener has worked hard to build a life where she feels confident, loved, and free to be herself. But when she begins to hold her boundaries, her mother shows her true colours and the cracks in the family dynamic become impossible to ignore. Her enabling father seems to make attempts at connection, but the question remains: How do you confront parents about the pain they’ve caused, without losing yourself in the process? If you would like us to answer your question email beyond_survival@outlook.com Follow Dr. Ruth Callaghan on Instagram Follow Dr. Ruth Callaghan on TikTok Dr. Ruth Callaghan's Website BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Sep 5

Toxic guilt is that heavy, misplaced guilt that convinces us we’ve done something wrong, even when we haven’t. It’s one of the hardest legacies of childhood trauma, and it can follow us into adulthood, shaping how we see ourselves and our relationships. In this episode of Beyond Survival , I read a letter from a listener who grew up in a large Irish family that looked perfect from the outside but was full of harmful behaviour and manipulation behind closed doors. Now, years later, the hardest thing to shake isn’t her mother's death, it’s the toxic guilt that still whispers she did something wrong. Dr. Ruth Callaghan and I explore why guilt sticks so stubbornly for survivors of dysfunctional families, and what it takes to begin letting go of a weight that was never really ours to carry. If you want us to answer your question on the Podcast email; beyond_survival@outlook.com Follow Dr. Ruth Callaghan on TikTok Follow Dr. Ruth Callaghan on Instagram https://www.callaghancounselling.ie/ BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Aug 29

In series 2 of Beyond Survival – The Therapy Podcast , I’m joined by Dr. Ruth Callaghan where we explore two powerful listener questions. First, how can you be a better parent when you’ve grown up as a “fawn type” people-pleaser, and why do your underlying motivations matter so much? Then, we dive into the challenge of managing intrusive, compulsive thoughts - the constant urge to help, fix, or rescue others. We’ll unpack what’s really driving these patterns, and share insights on how to respond with more clarity, balance, and self-compassion. If you want us to answer your question on the Podcast email; beyond_survival@outlook.com Follow Dr. Ruth Callaghan on TikTok Follow Dr. Ruth Callaghan on Instagram https://www.callaghancounselling.ie/ BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Aug 22

This week I’m joined by Maggie Nick, a recovering burned-out overachiever, people-pleaser, perfectionist, pushover, and shape-shifting chameleon, what she calls a Recovering Good Kid. Now a trauma therapist, parenting expert, and cycle-breaking mother, Maggie knows firsthand what it’s like to grow up as “the one nobody ever needed to worry about.” For years, she thought her perfectionism and people-pleasing were simply part of her personality, until therapy at 25 revealed they were actually lifelong relational trauma responses. In this episode, we dive into what relationships look like after trauma, the challenges and breakthroughs of parenting after trauma, and how to begin breaking free from old survival patterns to build something new. Maggie Nick, LCSW, MSW Follow Maggie on TikTok Follow Maggie on Instagram Learn more about Maggie's Camp Loveable and her other offerings here . BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Aug 15

When you grow up in a dysfunctional family system, you are conditioned to silence your needs to keep the peace, avoid conflict, or gain approval. Over time, it can feel impossible to even recognise what you truly want or need. In this solo episode, I discuss how that conditioning takes root, how to start recognising the needs you’ve been taught to ignore, and how to meet them in ways that feel safe, nourishing, and free from guilt or shame. BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Aug 8

In this solo episode, I explore the relentless whispers of the inner critic - that constant, internal voice that undermines, judges, and shames. I delve into where it comes from, how it develops (especially in childhood), and what function it might have served. Most importantly, I share practical ways to challenge, quiet, and reduce its power so you can start relating to yourself with more compassion and clarity. BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Aug 1

The Cult of Family explores the reality of growing up in a narcissistic system that demands silence, obedience, and self-erasure. In this episode, I sit down with Daniella, a scholar of cults, extreme groups and extremely bad leadership, who also brings her own lived experience of being raised in a cult. Together, we unpack the unsettling parallels between cults and narcissistic families; the control, the domination, the rigid rules, how perception is distorted, and how identity is supressed in the name of loyalty and “love.” But this conversation goes deeper than the system, it asks; What happens after you leave? We discuss the lasting psychological impact, how these environments stunt development and self-trust, and what it really takes to heal. We explore the blocks that so often emerge in recovery, shame, confusion, disconnection, and how to start rebuilding a self that was never allowed to fully form. This conversation is for anyone who’s broken free, or is beginning to, and is asking: What now? Click here to follow Daniella on TikTok Click here to follow Daniella on Instagram BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Jul 25

Exploring the Fear beneath Perfectionism and High Achievement In this deep dive, Podcast Host & Mindset Coach Claire Fealy joins me to unpack the fear that hides beneath high achievement and perfectionism, and how we can begin to heal what's really driving it. We identify the inner critc and discuss the hidden beliefs driving our anxiety, how fear often masks deeper emotional wounds, and what it really takes to move past survival mode and step into a more intentional life, especially for those of us who grew up in dysfunctional or emotionally unsafe environments. Find Claire on Instagram BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Jul 18

If you grew up in a narcissistic or emotionally chaotic household, chances are you were taught to feel for others, but not for yourself. In this episode, we’re unpacking what empathy actually is, why it often gets distorted in dysfunctional families, and how to reclaim it as something healthy, mutual, and safe. We explore the three different types of empathy, how it becomes weaponised or used against you in toxic dynamics, and why so many survivors struggle with people-pleasing, guilt, and emotional burnout. This isn’t about turning off your empathy, it’s about practising discernment in who you give your empathy to, and learning to turn it back toward yourself. BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Jul 11

In this solo episode, I'm exploring the invisible wounds that form in childhood when you're raised in dysfunctional or narcissistic family systems — ranging from hyper-dependence to hyper-independence — and how these patterns follow us into adulthood. I’ll also talk about the roots of these behaviours, including parentification and unhealthy parental dynamics, and offer ways to begin challenging these conditioned responses without becoming overwhelmed. Tune in to recognise if you’re still in survival mode, or to reflect on how far you’ve already come. BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Jul 4

Control is everywhere, often disguised as protection, tradition or morality! This is part 2 with Adele Martelle, where we're unpacking the subtle and not-so-subtle way control operates with society and religion. From rigid belief systems to social expectations that suppress individuality, we explore how control can disconnect us from our inner knowing, limit personal freedom and keep entire communities in cycles of fear, shame, and silence. If you've ever felt the need to "stay in line", this ones for you. Adele is a somatic oriented psychotherapist, certified trauma professional, public speaker, and spiritual integrationist. She is the owner of SOMA therapy and Wellness. A psychotherapy group practice that focuses on the neurobiological healing of trauma and relationships through experiential therapy. She is the creator and director of SOMA's community wellness program that makes experiential healing accessible to everyone through equity based workshops. https://www.somatherapyandwellness.com/ https://adelemartelle.com/ @somatherpayandwellness @adelemartellit BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Jul 4

How do we lose touch with who we really are? This week I am delighted to be joined by Adele Martelle, who specialises in treating complex CPTSD and Religious Trauma. In part one, we dive into how early attachment dynamics can lead us to disconnect from our needs, our instincts and our inner knowing. We'll explore how survival often meant adapting, people-pleasing, or self-abandoning, and what it actually take to rebuild trust within ourselves. This is a conversation about coming home to your body, your boundaries, and ways to rebuild trust, that was often eroded or annihilated in childhood. Adele is a somatic oriented psychotherapist, certified trauma professional, public speaker, and spiritual integrationist. She is the owner of SOMA therapy and Wellness. A psychotherapy group practice that focuses on the neurobiological healing of trauma and relationships through experiential therapy. She is the creator and director of SOMA's community wellness program that makes experiential healing accessible to everyone through equity based workshops. https://www.somatherapyandwellness.com https://adelemartelle.com/ @somatherapyandwellness @adelemartellit BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Jun 27

In this powerful episode I’m joined by Ann Larkin, CEO from Women's Aid Dundalk, to explore the insidious nature of coercive control in romantic relationships. We discuss how coercive control can look in everyday life, the emotional and psychological tactics abusers use to maintain power, and why it’s so often misunderstood or overlooked. Whether you're looking to understand your own experience more deeply or support someone you care about, this episode offers clarity, compassion, and crucial insights. While abuse can exist in any dynamic—friendships, families, workplaces—this conversation focuses on male-perpetrated abuse against women , based on the real-life experiences of those seeking support from Women’s Aid. BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Jun 24

In this first episode, I’m introducing Beyond Survival – The Therapy Podcast and sharing more about who this space is for and what you can expect from future episodes. I’ll tell you a little bit about myself, my work as a psychotherapist, and the common patterns I’ve seen in people who grew up in emotionally immature, narcissistic parents & dysfunctional families — many of whom don’t realise how deeply their childhood still affects their adult relationships, nervous systems, and sense of self. This podcast is a space for compassion, learning, and real conversations. We’ll explore family dysfunction, trauma recovery, relationships, nervous system healing, and how to move from just surviving to truly living. You’ll hear from guests, experts, and people who’ve walked the path themselves — and sometimes, just me, sharing insights from my work and lived experience. If you’ve ever felt like something was “off” in your life but couldn’t quite explain why — this is for you. BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast