Episodes

Dec 9

In this episode I talk with a mom about her 7-year-old daughter - with PDA, ADHD and anxiety - about when she might help her build her frustration tolerance, and when she likely cannot. We also dive in on a specific challenge she was facing when her both her daughters need support at the same time. The conversation is from Parenting PDA Your Way, the show we stream live on our Facebook, Instagram and YouTube most Fridays at 1pm ET. I hope you find it helpful! xo, Casey

Dec 2

In this episode I speak with a mom of a PDA 14-year-old who regulates himself by wrestling his father after school each day, which causes Mom lots of anxiety. Together we use my cost-benefit decision making tool to weigh her options and she then decides a new strategy to try. I hope this episode is helpful for you. It's from Parenting PDA Your Way, the show we stream live on our Instagram, Facebook and YouTube most Fridays at 1pm ET. xo, Casey

Nov 18

In this episode I speak with a mother of a PDA teen about: Setting boundaries when other kids are involved Making decisions in public when you are being judged Helping young siblings understand the PDA threat response. The episode is from Parenting PDA Your Way, the show we stream live most Fridays on our Instagram, Facebook, YouTube accounts. xoxo, Casey

Nov 11

In this episode I spoke with clinical psychologist Alex Klein about considerations when thinking about getting an evaluation for Autism or PDA as an adult my own neurodivergence doing therapy as a neurodivergent adult getting an evaluation and therapy for your PDA child or teen I hope you find it helpful! xo, Casey

Oct 28

In this episode I speak with a mom about a time her daughter melted down and then wouldn't allow Mom to step away and take the pause she needed to regulate herself to be able to support her daughter. These situations are so tough - and sometimes there is nothing you can do but endure them - and so in this conversation we talked about how to find meaning in this parenting experience. This podcast episode is a recording of Parenting PDA Your Way, the show I host live on our YouTube and Facebook most Fridays at 1pm ET. I hope it's helpful to you! xo, Casey

Oct 21

In this episode I speak with a mom about her PDA daughter, who pinches and scratches Mom as she is falling asleep. It's a recording of Parenting PDA Your Way, the show I host live on our YouTube and Facebook most Fridays at 1pm ET. I hope it's helpful to you! xo, Casey

Oct 7

In this episode I speak with a mom whose PDA son constantly wants to play with neighbors' kids - no matter how many times he may have already knocked on the door that day - and melts down if she says no. It's a recording of Parenting PDA Your Way, the show I host live on our YouTube and Facebook most Fridays at 1pm ET. I hope it's helpful to you! xo, Casey

Sep 30

Samantha's 13-year-old PDA daughter wants to buy things all the time, and gets dysregulated when her parents say "no." It's a common and difficult problem for many parents of PDA children and teens, and in this week's episode I talk it through with Samantha. The episode is a recording of Parenting PDA Your Way, the show I host live on our YouTube and Facebook most Fridays at 1pm ET. I hope it's helpful to you! xo, Casey

Sep 23

In this episode I talk through how I've come to realize my second son is also PDA - with a more internalized expression than my first - and how the process has been both similar and different from the first time. I hope it's helpful for you :)

Sep 16

In today's episode I speak with Megan, the mother of an 8-year-old PDAer who equalizes against her sibling on the walk to school. Megan comes up with something to try for a couple weeks to see if it's helpful. I hope the conversation is helpful for you, too :)

Sep 9

In this episode I talk with Carrie - mother of a 12-year-old PDAer - about how to support her son when he gets dysregulated by not knowing what to do during free time - especially after school and on weekends.

Sep 2

In this episode I coach Lierin as she navigates the equalizing her 5-year-old daughter does against her 8-year-old sister. Specifically we discuss how to help the older daughter understand PDA and the "unfairness" it brings about.

Aug 26

Sometimes our PDA children equalize against us and it triggers us - perhaps because of our own neurodivergence, childhood trauma, or other challenges. In this episode of the podcast - from our new live show - I coach Christine through such a situation with her PDA daughter. I hope it's helpful for you <3

Aug 19

This episode is a conversation with Dominique, mother of a 4-year-old PDAer who equalizes against her 2-year-old. Dominique also has a third child, and joined our live show - Parenting PDA Your Way - to talk through how to handle these situations. I hope you find our conversation helpful. xo, Casey

Aug 12

In this episode I work with Megan, a mom who is frustrated that what other adults think about her parenting impacts her, and unsure if this is an obstacle to radical acceptance of her child's PDA. Thank you Megan for sharing your story to help other families. I know many of us can relate! Also, this is the first podcast episode where I share the coaching conversations I'm doing on my new show: "Parenting PDA Your Way". We're live streaming the show most Fridays at 10am ET on Facebook and YouTube.

Aug 5

As parents of PDA children and teens we do a ton of work to support and heal the nervous systems of our kids, often at the expense of our own (also sensitive) nervous systems. So for this episode I invited Afshan Tafler, a nervous system expert, to speak with me. We talked about: The impact on a parent's nervous system of raising a PDA child or teen Why we get into fixing mode Some tools to support your nervous system (Parental burnout) I hope it's helpful! xo, Casey

Jul 15

How do we help our kids develop a positive self image, no matter their diagnosis? In this episode I walk through the steps of helping your PDA child or teen do so, and in a way that provides them autonomy and equality throughout. It's an excerpt from one of the live workshops of our Paradigm Shift Program. I hope it's helpful!

Jul 3

In this episode I speak with Paradigm Shift Program alumna Caroline Thor about the tremendous impacts of changing her parenting approach - for her PDA son, her family, and herself as a professional. I hope it's helpful to you. xo, Casey Caroline's Website

Jun 25

How do I feel about AI, and how do I use it with my PDA child? In this episode I talk through these things and more with Kelly Edwards, founder of the 90-Minute School Day. As a mom of a PDAer herself, and an expert in the homeschooling/unschooling space, Kelly brings great insight to our conversation. I hope you find it helpful!

Jun 17

Not all demand avoidant children and teens are PDA. In this episode I talk through how to know if your child fits the profile for PDA, which is important, because it suggests a different root cause for their avoidance than for non-PDA demand avoidant kids. And of course, you want to know what the root cause is so you know how best to support your child or teen. I hope this is helpful to all. xo, Casey

Jun 10

Paradigm Shift Program alumna Rachel shares her story in this episode, which includes insight she gained enduring serious sickness as a young adult. She brings this perspective to the hardest moments and eras parenting her PDA children, and explains the difference that can make, even while being incredibly difficult.

Jun 3

In this episode I speak with Paradigm Shift Program alumna Aoife, who shares her journey as a PDA parent of a PDA child. I hope you find her insights and experiences helpful as you navigate your own journeys.

May 27

I think PDA is its own neurotype, different from non-PDA Autism and ADHD. That doesn't mean PDA kids, teens and adults can't also be Autistic or ADHD - many are, including at least one of my sons. But it means there's a different logic for how we support PDA children and teens - even if they are also Autistic or ADHD - based on the unique way their brain and nervous system works.

May 20

You're not doing it wrong! And I know this because there is not one right or wrong to parent a PDA child. Parents I work with make tons of different decisions - and change those decisions over time - depending on the unique circumstances, opportunities, values and constraints they face. And I love that!

May 13

Karin is a Dutch medical teacher and an alumna of our Paradigm Shift Program with three children with three different neurotypes. I loved reconnecting with her and hearing how she and her neurodivergent husband use three different parenting approaches in order to successfully support their kids. I hope you find her insights helpful, too!

May 6

Many of you know that my PDA son stopped eating most foods when he was in burnout. But I've also worked with countless parents whose PDA child or teen can't stop eating. And so I've dedicated this episode to the topic - how to understand compulsive eating as part of PDA, and an approach that may be helpful. xo, Casey

Apr 29

In this episode I spoke with Chris Wenger - AKA " Speech Dude " - a speech language pathologist with extensive experience accommodating PDA teens in a public school. I loved our conversation, and I hope you will too! We talked about: Practical ways to communicate about PDA in a public school setting (in this case a high school). How to write PDA-specific goals/supports in an IEP (Institutional Educational Plan here in the United States). Supporting PDA teens to feel safe, engage in learning, and make social connections in creative ways that don't feel demanding. The role that autonomy plays in PDA teens' success. Here is more about Chris! Chris Wenger is a neurodivergent high school speech-language pathologist of over 20 years, international speaker, and creator of the Dynamic Assessment of Social Emotional Learning, a strengths-based assessment for autistic students. He is also the founder of NeuroAffirm, a first-of-its-kind worldwide interactive directory connecting providers and families. Globally known as Speech Dude, he has amassed nearly one million social media followers, sharing inspiring and educational content, always with a humorous twist.

Apr 22

Dr. Mel Houser, MD, shares stories from her childhood, career as a doctor, and work reimagining healthcare and community at All Brains Belong in Vermont. PDA Autistic herself, I hope you'll find her insights as interesting, helpful and hopeful as I did.

Apr 15

The thing that underpins so much of how we support and accommodate our PDA children and teens - and thereby lower their nervous system activation so they can thrive - is our connection with them. And this connection can get very, very strained. Especially if they're in burnout, which often means we are, too. In this episode I share ten tips to improve connection and communications. I hope it's helpful. xo, Casey

Apr 8

Five years ago, when my son barely ate anything, and I feared he would end up with a feeding tube, and none of the traditional therapies worked, these are the 20 things I wish someone would have said to me, because I was freaking out! I hope they are as helpful to you now as I know they would have been for me back then.

Apr 1

I dive deep on screens in this episode - to give you every bit of information you need to make decisions you can feel confident in concerning screens and screen limits. I talk through how formal studies on screen time handle PDA children (spoiler - they don't) and share what I've seen working with over 1,000 families who have all handled screen limits their own ways. I do this because no matter your decision, I don't want you to feel all the doubt I did from the judgement I received from others and from myself. You know your child, your family and your constraints, and I know you are doing your best to balance all of this, and that is what matters.

Mar 25

In this episode I discuss the five most common characteristics of PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance / Pervasive Drive for Autonomy) to help parents determine if their child or teen fits the profile. If you want to dig deeper into figuring out if your child fits the PDA profile, I designed my Clarity Masterclass to help. It's free on my website: Clarity Masterclass

Mar 18

"All kids are demand avoidant" is just one of the misconceptions about PDA that I take down with clinical psychologist Alex Klein in this feisty episode. I hope it helps you take on any doubts foisted on you, too.

Mar 11

In this episode I talk about some of the therapies I've done to heal my own nervous system - and dive deeper on EMDR specifically - in the hope that they might be helpful to you, too. Because the reality is, many of us as parents also experience trauma as we navigate the challenges of parenting a PDA child or teen, especially when they (and we!) are in burnout.

Mar 4

This episode is for people who follow (or don't follow) any religion and are open to taking some of the concepts from Buddhist psychology that I've found most helpful as I parent my PDA child. I hope you find these six ideas helpful, too.

Feb 25

My son started occupational therapy six years ago, when he was four. I didn't really know what it was, nor did I know my son was PDA. But in the years since, OT has become a prominent part of my life. So much so that as he's now graduating from it, I'm navigating feelings of loss, much like I did way back when he first started. I hope you find the episode helps you, whether or not you're involved in OT. xo, Casey

Feb 18

In this episode I speak with Dr. Alex Klein about a dynamic I see all the time - when two parents aren't on the same page about how to parent their PDA child or teen. Alex brings his insight as a clinical psychologist who often works with parents on marriage dynamics while they raise a PDA child or teen. I hope you find it helpful! Also - this is our 100th episode of the podcast! What I've heard over the years is that the podcast is one of the ways so many families learn about PDA and stop feeling so isolated and alone. If you'd like to help this happen for even more parents out there, please consider giving the show a five-star, written review. If you email us a screenshot once you've done so - and before the end of February - we'll enter your name in a drawing for a free one-hour private coaching session with me. You can send the email to journey@atpeaceparents.com. Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Feb 12

"Mama, did God make me this way on purpose?" That's what my PDA son asked me when he was four years old, and it broke my heart. But today, at age 10, he has a ton of confidence in himself and his identity as a PDAer. In this episode I talk through how we got from the one place to the other, and how you can, too. I hope it's helpful. Casey

Feb 4

This episode is about one of parents' most common fears when they begin taking a nervous-system accommodation approach. What about when my kid grows up? Or, said another way, if I don't consistently correct them when they do something wrong, how will they learn not to be awful people? It's a question and fear I had, too. But what I've seen with my son, and the thousands of families I've worked with, is that our kids know right from wrong, and correcting them when they're having a nervous system response takes us backwards instead of forwards. Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Jan 29

I am so excited to share this conversation with Demi Burnett! She's famous for her appearances on The Bachelor and more, but I had so much fun - and also learned a ton - talking with her about her life as a PDA Autistic person. I mean, who would have thought reality television would be so accommodating?!? You can find Demi's often hilarious social media posts here: instagram.com/demi_not_lovato And she sells her amazing crochet creations here: https://www.etsy.com/shop/Demlia Also - in my intro I announced that we've opened enrollment for the next cohort of the Paradigm Shift Program. You can learn more about the program in the info below, and here's a quick link to the program webpage: https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program The 12-week Paradigm Shift Program is where I personally coach parents who want to build peace in their homes by better understanding and accommodating their PDA child or teen. I host weekly live spot-coaching sessions and provide additional coaching in writing in our online community. The program is built on what I've seen work for thousands of families, and in fact it is the only program for parents of PDA children and teens proven to increase parent connection with their child, while decreasing parent depression and anxiety. You can enroll or add yourself to the program interest list at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents LinkedIn - linkedin.com/in/casey-ehrlich-ph-d-495a242b Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey Mentioned in this episode: Pre-roll Demi Paradigm Shift Program

Jan 24

In this episode I discuss how seemingly disconnected activities can impact each other for PDA children and teens. I hope it is helpful to you. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Enrollment is open for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Jan 17

In this episode I talk through some of the most common places that the parents, therapists and teachers I've worked with get stuck. If you're stuck in one of these spots don't feel bad. This is hard stuff we're all doing. And I hope this episode can help.

Jan 9

In this episode I share some stories that show that the accommodating we do for our PDA children and teens isn't all that crazy. In fact, you could make a reasonable argument that many of the most successful people working in retail are constantly using their ability to coregulate their customers' nervous systems. I share these stories with two hopes - that they help you feel less crazy, and more confident the next time your "but how will they make it in the real world" fear pops up. I hope they're helpful. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Jan 3

In this episode I answer your questions with Dr. Alex Klein, clinical psychologist. We covered a few diagnoses - DMDD, IED and ODD - that children often receive before their parents figure out they are PDA. And then we also discussed the grieving process that many parents go through after learning their child has a disability, and how that can be different from ableism, which parents often feel guilty about. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Dec 18, 2024

The holidays can be excruciating for us parents of PDA children and teens. So in this episode I share five tips to help you and your family get through them (with as much joy as possible). I hope they are helpful. Also, this episode includes a story about my PDA son not being able to sleep on Christmas Eve several years ago. After I recorded this I then re-read a blog post I'd written shortly after that Christmas Eve, and realized that I hadn't correctly remembered some of the chronology when I retold the story here. This doesn't change the point of the story at all, but I wanted to note the mistake in case you also read the story. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Dec 12, 2024

Advocating with the school of your PDA child or teen can feel like slamming your head against a wall. But you keep trying because you think that if you just explain how PDA works clearly enough the school will start accommodating appropriately. At least that's what I thought. And I was wrong. But it took me more than a year and multiple lawyers to get to the place where I pulled my child from our local public school. I share my story here in the hope that, at the very least, it absolves you of the feeling that the reason your school isn't supporting your child is somehow your fault. Because it's not. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Dec 5, 2024

I love it when alumni of our Paradigm Shift Program™ send me updates. It's just so wonderful to hear about the work that parents do and the slow but tremendous progress they make. In this episode I decided to invite on one of the moms who sent me such an update about a year after she finished the program. We talk about how she ultimately fared with the questions she was grappling with during the program: Should she send her PDA son to sleepaway summer camp? And if so, how should she go about it? I hope you enjoy hearing her story as much as I enjoyed reconnecting with her. xo, Casey Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent!

Nov 26, 2024

I conceptualize PDA as a nervous system disability because it can impair access to basic survival needs - such as eating, sleeping, toileting, movement, and safety. It's terrifying for parents when this happens, and in this episode I discuss why it does. This understanding helps many parents support their children, who can then regain access to those needs over time. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Nov 15, 2024

Lowering demands is how many parents start accommodating their PDA child or teen, and it's also where many get stuck. In this episode I talk through the mindset work that parents can do to get unstuck and be more successful with lowering demands. I also explain why lowering demands is a necessary but not sufficient accommodation for our PDA children and teens. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Nov 7, 2024

Does you child or teen often try to control you, criticize you and/or destroy your things or things around the house. This is very common among PDA children and teens, because they are equalizing. Equalizing is a nervous system response - out of their control - in PDA children and teens whereby they try to regain sense of nervous system safety due to a perceived loss of autonomy and equality. In this episode I break it all down, and share lots of examples. I hope it's helpful. xo, Casey Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Nov 1, 2024

Este episodio está en español. This episode is in Spanish. En este episodio hablo con Juliana Carrillo sobre PDA - la Evitación de Demanda Extrema - y como entender la discapacidad del sistema nervioso en niños y jovenes. Juliana es una psicologa y "coach" con At Peace Parents. Puedes leer más de ella y sus servicios aquí: https://www.atpeaceparents.com/Juliana-asesoria-personalizada Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Oct 21, 2024

It's very common for two parents to be on different pages or trajectories with PDA understanding and acceptance. Sometimes this is because one parent wants more "evidence" that PDA exists at all, which can be very difficult given that academia has not yet caught up to our lived realities. In this episode I provide a possible way forward - building your own evidence! I hope it's helpful. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Oct 17, 2024

In this episode I share the techniques for using declarative language that I've seen are most effective for parents of PDA children and teens. And I snuck in a suggestion on how to get your PDAer's teacher to use declarative language, too ;) Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Oct 10, 2024

There are tons of misconceptions about if and how we set boundaries with our PDA children and teens (spoiler - we do!), and in this episode I talk through the most common of them. I also explain the process I use - cost-benefit decision making within constraints - to help parents decide when they should set boundaries and how to do so with eyes wide open to the activation this will cause their PDAer. I hope it helps you! Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Oct 8, 2024

Hi everyone - in this episode I share some of the many messy, awkward and (in retrospect at least) kinda funny situations I found myself in during the many months I was in the process of changing my parenting approach to better support my PDA son. I share these as a reminder that this can be (almost always is) a chaotic transition, and that's ok. You're learning and implementing a new parenting paradigm, and it takes time for you, your family members, and you PDA child to get into a new rhythm. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Oct 3, 2024

ABA is helpful for some PDA children and their families. For other PDA children it doesn't help or can make things worse. With this in mind, I'd love to live in a world where ABA and additional options were available - and covered by insurance - to support PDA children and teens. In today's episode I provide more information about ABA and the how parents of PDA children can better understand the research supporting it. Also - here are links to the two articles I referenced: https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40614-022-00338-x https://www.nature.com/articles/tp2017207 Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Sep 30, 2024

In this episode I share my experiences with the Safe and Sound Protocol, and also provide guidance on how parents can think about trying therapies with their PDA child or teen. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Sep 26, 2024

This is a question I get frequently, and there's a lot of nuance that goes into answering it. I hope this is helpful to you! Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Sep 24, 2024

In this episode I explain the logic that underpins all my teaching, and why traditional behavioral parenting approaches - which are great for many children - don't work for PDA children and teens because of the way their brains and nervous systems work. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Sep 19, 2024

Like many parents, I spent years looking for a magic solution that would fix or circumvent my son's PDA. And then I came to accept that this is a disability he has. Only then was I able to make the decisions to truly support him and our family. In this episode I share the tool I teach in the Paradigm Shift Program™ to help parents accept the limitations they face and make decisions to move forward. I hope it supports you, too. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Sep 16, 2024

In this episode I explain why it makes total sense that we have PDA children and teens before academia has proven the existence of PDA, because research follows real life. (And while I love research, it is often slow and expensive.) But that doesn't mean we can't move forward and experiment with approaches that support our children. That's what parents have always done, and then studies come after that prove the effectiveness of those approaches. I hope this episode validates for you that what you know to be true is indeed true, even though many of the practitioners you work with (therapists, teachers, pediatricians) didn't learn about it in school. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Sep 12, 2024

One of our goals in accommodating the nervous systems of our PDA children and teens is to make them feel safe. And in this video I walk through nine ways we can signal safety (many of which aren't verbal) to help them feel safe, and safe in their connection with us. This podcast is the audio recording of a video I made, and you can hear me talk about some of the visuals I shared, which you don't really need, but are available here if you want to see them (https://youtu.be/FD_oHidffP4?si=R3EOQiBUY9ihccyr). Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Sep 9, 2024

I don't plan a single weekend - nor really any other free time with my PDA son - without thinking about the 4 S's. Just keeping them in mind buoys my confidence that I know how to prevent or interrupt my son's dysregulation. This podcast is the audio of a video I made explaining the 4S's in detail. I talk a bit about the graphics I drew for the video, which you don't really need to see, but can find here if you'd like (https://youtu.be/4hYEtJhbg7k?si=jZlWZLhawS-sZ0p4). Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Sep 5, 2024

Are you thinking about taking your PDA child or teen out of formal school for homeschooling? Or perhaps you've already done so and are finding what you've gotten into to be pure chaos? This episode is for you! Kelly Edwards is the mother of a PDA child and founder of 90-Minute School Day ( https://90minuteschoolday.com/ ), an organization that helps parents homeschool and unschool their neurodivergent children and teens. I loved speaking with her and know her insights will be supportive for so many of you great parents out there! Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Sep 3, 2024

Raising a PDA child or teen is extremely challenging. Trying to be perfect in your implementation of accommodations makes it impossible and unsustainable. But here's the good news - you don't have to be perfect! Not when your child is in burnout, and certainly not when they're in equilibrium and you need to bring some nuance to your caregiving. I explain these distinctions in this episode, which I hopes helps you breathe a little deeper and recognize what a great job you're already doing! Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Aug 29, 2024

Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Aug 26, 2024

Are you dreading the start to school with your PDA child or teen? 😬 You are not alone! During this free training, I explored seven steps to help you feel more confident and empowered with skills that can help you solve problems and get your child or teen the support and access to learning that they deserve and have a right to 💪. Structure of the free mini training: 👉Tough love and radically accepting the constraints we can’t change in the moment. 👉Identifying decision points vs. strategies for advocacy 👉 Strategic communication with schools 👉Identify specific needs and solutions (one problem at a time) 👉 PLATO framework for making non-violent communication requests (Citation: Marshall Rosenberg, Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Compassion) 👉Collect data on response (e.g. Yes, No, but… or No) to inform decision making. These are skills we apply, practice, and refine in the context of your real life and home in our signature Paradigm Shift Program ( https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program ) To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Aug 19, 2024

In this episode I talk through the steps you can take to accommodate your PDA child or teen as they equalize against you. This is not easy stuff, but can be life changing over time. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Aug 13, 2024

Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Jul 27, 2024

In this episode Donna Georgen - one of the expert coaches with At Peace Parents - shares her own amazing story of being a single mother raising two PDA daughters, one of whom also has Down Syndrome, into adulthood. Donna is a true inspiration, and a wonderful human. I feel so fortunate that she now brings all of her wisdom, empathy and practicality to her private coaching clients, and her work as a moderator in the Paradigm Shift Program online community. Want to learn more about coaching with Donna? Here's her coaching page: https://www.atpeaceparents.com/donna-coaching Interested in her support as part of the Paradigm Shift Program? Learn more here: https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program Or if you're still trying to figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is on the At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Jul 17, 2024

In my work with hundreds of families one thing I see often is that parents are wrongly made to feel shame for their parenting by well-meaning but shortsighted "experts." In this episode of the podcast I debunk the arguments and "evidence" that these experts use and show that none of us need to feel ashamed of the herculean parenting we're doing. Are you ready to dive deeper with me, my team and a cohort of other understanding families facing the same challenges you do? If so, I recommend joining the waitlist to get early access for enrollment in the next Paradigm Shift Program. (Last enrollment every spot filled.) Here's the link: https://www.atpeaceparents.com/psp-waitlist Or if you're not sure if your child is PDA, you might find my FREE Clarity Masterclass , as I designed it to help you determine if your child fits the PDA profile: https://www.atpeaceparents.com/clarity You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Jul 9, 2024

This episode is a MUST listen! Kendahl Damashek, a gifted PDAer and parent coach with At Peace Parents, walks us through her experience as a PDA child and young adult. With vulnerability and courage, Kendahl shares her experience with burnout in her college years and her story of how she learned to balance raising four PDA children and her own access needs. I am grateful that I get to work with Kendahl every day as a member of the At Peace Parents team. She shares her wisdom in the online community of the Paradigm Shift Program ( https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program ) which she helps moderate - she actually told her story in a private session of the PSP, but it was too good for me not to share more broadly - and in one-on-one coaching with families, many of whom come to her for her personal experience being 2E (twice exceptional - gifted and PDA) and raising 2E children. You can learn more about her and her coaching services at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/kendahl-private-coaching-1 To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Jun 26, 2024

We can use time-tested scientific methods to determine the best ways to parent our PDA children and teens. In fact, many of you likely already do so, and in this episode I discuss how we all can. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Jun 20, 2024

In this episode Dr. Alex Klein, clinical psychologist, discussed strategies for parents of children with both PDA and OCD, and how to handle violence and hitting, especially with the added challenge of keeping siblings safe. Also, Dr. Klein mentions two other practitioners in this episode, Dr. Melissa Neff ( https://www.melissaneffphd.com/ ) and Dr. Jeremy Shuman ( https://mindfulstl.com/providers/jeremy-shuman-psy-d/ ) To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Jun 14, 2024

The subject of this podcast can be triggering, but I'm committed to talking about it because so many parents of PDA children and teens encounter violence - and I am sending love and, compassion and deep empathy to all of you - and because part of the mission of At Peace Parents is to reduce violence at the individual, household and societal level. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Jun 5, 2024

In this episode I talk with At Peace Parents coach Kendahl Damashek about parenting twice exceptional children - who are both gifted and PDA. Kendahl shares her personal experience being 2E and raising 2E children. You can learn more about her and her coaching services at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/kendahl-private-coaching-1 To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

May 28, 2024

In this episode I share how Polyvagal Theory - cutting edge understanding of how the human nervous system works - can help us parent our PDA children and teens. Specifically, I look at how it helps us answer the following paradoxical questions: 1 - Why do things seem to get worse after I dive in on accommodating? 2 - How can my child turn their responses on or off if the behaviors truly aren't under their conscious control? 3 - Similarly, how can equalizing be social in nature if not under their control? 4 - Why, after making so much progress with my PDA child, do I personally feel so awful in my own nervous system? To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

May 16, 2024

In this episode I share the lessons I learned THE HARD WAY about advocating for my PDA son. Because you are truly not alone if you're feeling angry and exhausted after trying to convince teachers, doctors, therapists, grandparents, even spouses what your child needs and why - I've worked with hundreds of families who have gone through this. I share these lessons in the hope that it will short cut the process for you, so you can preserve some of your limited energy. Interested in the two books I mention - Non-Violent Communication and Boundary Boss. You can find links to both on our resources page , and if you buy through those links a commission will go towards our scholarship program. www.atpeaceparents.com/resources To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

May 10, 2024

Parents often ask me how their three-year-old PDA child could possibly be masking before they've even started preschsool and seen much of how other kids behave. It's a great question, and one I asked many times as well. In this episode I dig into the answer, according to Polyvagal Theory. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

May 3, 2024

In this episode Dr. Alex Klein and I answer questions that families submitted. If you'd like to submit a question for one of our future conversations, here is where you can do so: https://www.atpeaceparents.com/submit-question-klein-ehrlich Here's some of the questions we took on for this episode: How do you know if the behavior you are observing as a parent is from ADHD or PDA? What are the differences and similarities? Why are psychologists so resistant to recognizing PDA? (Asked as “What is wrong with Psychologists that they can’t see this as a neurotype!?!” 😊) Are psychologists helpful at all if they aren’t PDA themselves? Is it even worth trying to find a psychologist? What do you do if ABA is recommended by a doctor, but intuitively you don't think it is the right fit? To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Apr 24, 2024

Does your child refuses to write or draw? In this episode I share my story of my son's avoidance of both and how supporting his nervous with PDA accommodations enabled him to come back to them over time. The story also illustrates the general logic of supporting a child through and out of burnout. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Apr 12, 2024

Knowing the difference between boundaries and rules, and when to use each, can be really helpful when parenting a PDA child or teen. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Mar 19, 2024

In this episode I reconnect with my longtime dear friend, Lauren Stern Noel, who is also a developmental therapist and DIR-Floortime therapist working with Autistic children and children with developmental disabilities. We talk about playing with PDA children, and how it can look different than what parents might have expected. Lauren serves families and schools directly in the greater Chicago area and you can learn more about her services and work at her website : https://www.playtimekids.org/about-lauren Lauren's full bio is here: Lauren Stern Noel has been working with children with autism spectrum disorders and developmental differences since 2003. She is a credentialed Developmental Therapist through the Illinois Early Intervention program, a certified Infant Mental Health Specialist through Erikson Institute, and a Fellows-level certified DIRFloortime® therapist through Profectum™ Academy. Lauren believes that relationships and a strong social-emotional foundation are the basis for play, development and learning. Lauren earned a Bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Michigan and a Master’s degree in child development from Tufts University. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent! xoxo, Casey

Mar 12, 2024

In this episode I discuss how as parents of PDA children or teens we do both parenting and caregiving, and how that relates to a "Gentle Parenting" approach. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Mar 4, 2024

In this episode I talk about how I view parenting a PDA child or teen as distinct from "Gentle Parenting" by focusing on rhythms instead of routines. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Feb 26, 2024

Signalling safety - often non-verbally - to your PDA child or teen can be a really impactful way to accommodate their nervous system. In this episode I provide seven tips on how to do it. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also connect with me on: Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparents Facebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparents YouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparents And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.com Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Feb 23, 2024

In this episode I discuss my two sons, the differences between SPD and PDA, and how those differences impact parenting. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass . You can also connect with me on: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at At Peace Parents . Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Feb 14, 2024

When my PDA son was four-years-old and we were in crisis I called my longtime dear friend, Lauren Stern Noel, who is also a developmental therapist and DIR-Floortime therapist working with Autistic children and children with developmental disabilities. She invited me to Chicago to stay with her family and meet her most trusted colleagues - a speech language pathologist and occupational therapist - to help Cooper stabilize. The most profound shift for me was in my parenting and helping me start my paradigm shift towards a non-behavioral approach to supporting my PDA child. In this episode we discuss that beginning and her insights working with many children with developmental, learning, or interactional differences. Lauren serves families and schools directly in the greater Chicago area and you can learn more about her services and work at her website . Lauren's full bio is here: Lauren Stern Noel has been working with children with autism spectrum disorders and developmental differences since 2003. She is a credentialed Developmental Therapist through the Illinois Early Intervention program, a certified Infant Mental Health Specialist through Erikson Institute, and a Fellows-level certified DIRFloortime® therapist through Profectum™ Academy. Lauren believes that relationships and a strong social-emotional foundation are the basis for play, development and learning. Lauren earned a Bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Michigan and a Master’s degree in child development from Tufts University. ~~ To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass . You can also connect with me on: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at At Peace Parents . Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Feb 5, 2024

I always get questions about how to handle dynamics between a Pathologically Demand Avoidant child or teen and their sibling/s. And with good reason - it can be REALLY hard to navigate these dynamics in ways that support all members of the family. Want more on this topic? I first discussed it about a year ago in episode 15. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass . You can also connect with me on: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at At Peace Parents . Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Jan 29, 2024

In this episode I discuss the practical skills we need as parents to support the nervous systems and health of our PDA children and teens, and how it relates to my morning's yoga session... To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass . You can also connect with me on: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at At Peace Parents . Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Jan 24, 2024

I explain strewing as an accommodation that can help PDA children and teens. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass . You can also connect with me on: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at At Peace Parents . Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Jan 16, 2024

Casey and Dr. Klein discuss PDA in their first podcast (of many to follow) and he shares some of the insights of PDA he's gained as a clinical psychologist. Disclaimer: Dr. Klein does not provide any clinical, medical, or therapeutic support as part of this podcast. To work with him as a clinician, you can find him here: https://www.dralexklein.com/ (Casey doesn't either). You can submit questions for my future chats with Dr. Klein here. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass . You can also connect with me on: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at At Peace Parents . Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Jan 8, 2024

Casey discusses the five most common ways she's found parents of PDA children and teens get stuck in bringing their family to stability. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass . You can also connect with me on: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at At Peace Parents . Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Dec 21, 2023

Casey discusses the ways parents of PDA children shoot themselves with the "second arrow" - often guilt - and ways to transcend it. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass . You can also connect with me on: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at At Peace Parents . Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Dec 12, 2023

In this episode Casey discusses having a service dog to help her PDA son, and some of the ups and downs she's been through. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass . You can also connect with me on: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at At Peace Parents . Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Dec 4, 2023

Casey discusses her identity, her role as a researcher rather than an advocate, and how this informs her objective approach - and openness -to helping each unique family find what works for them and the PDA child or teen without an attachment to path they choose. To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass . You can also connect with me on: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube And information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at At Peace Parents . Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Nov 28, 2023

Casey talks about the theory of change she uses in her work, and the common fear parents have that if they accommodate their PDA children and teens they will not be able to succeed as adults. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Nov 21, 2023

In this episode Casey discusses the challenges and strategies of parenting a PDA child or teen through the holiday season. (This episode was pulled from a recent Instagram Live video.) To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Nov 13, 2023

Casey discusses the variability among PDA children and teens. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Nov 7, 2023

PDA children and teens have empathy, and in this episode we talk about why and how to help their nervous systems so they can access it. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Oct 30, 2023

In this episode we discuss the unique experience of parenting a PDA child for parents who are also pathologically demand avoidant and offer some simple tools and insights that may be helpful. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Oct 24, 2023

In this episode, we discuss why the Halloween - and the holidays - are so tough on PDA children and teens, as well as their parents, and I offer some tips to help you get through the beginning of what we call "The Gauntlet" in my family (the period between Halloween and my son's bday in January). Remember - it's not you! It's totally normal to dread these times of the year because of societal demands and expectations! I hope this podcast episode serves you. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Oct 23, 2023

In this episode Casey talks about the fawn and freeze responses to nervous system activation. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Oct 17, 2023

Casey discusses why behavioral approaches don't work for PDA children and teens. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Oct 9, 2023

Casey talks about therapy for PDA children. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Oct 2, 2023

This episode explores what I call "The Theory of Change" of parenting a Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA) child or teen through an accommodation approach over the long term (years!). We talk about the logic behind lowering demands and making choices that feel counterintuitive as a parent to support your child back into their "thinking brain." We also discuss radical acceptance and what that means day-to-day as a parent as a PDA child or teen. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Sep 27, 2023

This episode discusses what it *actually* looks like to radically accept your PDA child or teen. For many parents this is where the rubber hits the road and it is less about a nebulous or theoretical "acceptance" of a neurodivergent child, and more about the points at which we have to accept that raising a child with a nervous system disability requires tradeoffs to our lifestyle, letting go of certain expectations we had for our lives, and cost-benefit decision-making within constraints. I hope it serves you. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Sep 18, 2023

In this episode, we discuss the difference between trauma and Pathological Demand Avoidance, as well as the overlaps in terms of your child's or teen's behavior. We talk about how you can heal trauma, however you cannot heal a neurotype, but rather accommodate it through trauma-informed parenting and practices. Sometimes, as parents, we don't know where the line is between trauma and neurotype, so we have to be consistent in connection and accommodations and observe our own data about your child or teen over time. I hope this episode serves you! To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Sep 8, 2023

This episode is designed to do three things: Give you clarity on how to figure out the root cause of your child's controlling and avoidant behavior - Is it Anxiety, OCD and/or Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)? Help you notice subtle differences in controlling and avoidant behavior to determine if there is more than one thing going on. Encourage you to startobserving and tracking your chlid or teen's unique "indicators" (Basic Needs access, Connection and Trust with you, and Nervous System Stress) over the long term so you can make decisions about what type of approach is more supportive of your family (Exposure vs. Accommodation). Happy Listening! To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey ps. Here is the link if you are interested in getting on the waitlist for the the next cohort of the Paradigm Shift Program . Citations: Polyvagal Theory steven Porges The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma (Good explanation of what happens to our bodies when we go into "fight or flight." Helpful for understanding the PDA child's experience) What happened to you (Oprah and Dr. Perry) The Whole-Brain child Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children's Behavioral Challenges Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear and Heal your Mind.

Aug 3, 2023

"Is my child Autistic with Demand Avoidance OR is my child PDA?" This is a question I get often from parents, so this is a free training to help you discern the answer that question for yourself. We will cover: Figuring out which "lens" is most helpful to support your unique child and the root cause of the behaviors you observe. Understanding that it is not an "either/or" or binary situation where PDA kids don't have social communication differences or that non-PDA autistic children and teens don't need autonomy and have sensitive nervous systems. Patterns I have observed that help you distinguish for yourself whether your child is PDA. Patterns I have observed among the 100s of parents I work with whose children or teens are indeed PDA. An invitation to take an experimental approach and collect data on *your* unique child. I hope it serves you! To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Jun 15, 2023

In this episode, I answer this very commonly asked question: What is the difference between PDA and trauma? As part of my answer, I discuss five things: 1. Why there is so much confusion between PDA and trauma. 2. Why there are different root causes behind similar nervous system activation. 3. Where there are points of overlap between PDA and trauma. 4. Different approaches to supporting them. 5. What we don't know yet about healing vs. accommodating a neurotype vs. neuroplasticity and where your child will land. Citations: " What Happened to You: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing ," by Bruce Perry, MD, Ph.D. and Oprah Winfrey " The Body Keeps the Score " by Bessel van der Kolk " Harnessing Electrochemicals to Treat Disorders Arising from Traumatic Stress " by Ronald Ruden (2019: 223) To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Jun 6, 2023

This episode is an excerpt from the "Progress with PDA" workshop and is a way of looking at progress, even when you feel your most stuck as a parent. This perspective is the "yin" side to the "yang" of tracking data and indicators of progress that you observe of your PDA child or teen as they move out of burnout and towards more well-being. I hope the episode serves you. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

May 23, 2023

In this episode, I answer the question: "What do I do when my PDA child or teen really wants to do something - see friends, play a sport, engage in an activity - but there is a big fallout afterwards?" To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Apr 25, 2023

In this episode, Casey shares the logic behind why sticker charts, laminated schedules, strict routines, and many of the supports used with children who have social communication differences and executive functioning differences actually backfire with PDA kids and young adults. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Apr 20, 2023

In this episode, Casey shares her story from the perspective of a parent as she experienced the time leading up to her son's burnout (3.5 years old), her son's burnout (5.5 years old), and the current moment (8.5 years old). She ends with a spiritual insight from Buddhism about not shooting oneself with the "second arrow" when things are hard. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Apr 6, 2023

In this episode, I share an excerpt from the Paradigm Shift Program session that focused on Marriage, Co-Parenting, and Communication dynamics while raising a Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA) child or teen. I share my personal story, how raising a PDA child has impacted my marriage and share one fundamental insight about being the "lead" parent vs. the parent who is doing less of the caregiving. This is a great episode to listen to with your partner to help you get on the same page and realize you are not alone in navigating these dynamics! Citations: Understanding Pathological Demand Avoidance Syndrome in Children The Tilt Parenting Podcast Episode with Harry Thompson (Episode 109) has been removed from the website because of allegations against Harry, so I can't link to it as a citation. Atlantic Article " Why Women Still Can't Have it All " - the concept of "lead parenting" is named in the writing. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Mar 27, 2023

In this episode, I outline the ways in which the description of Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) in the Diagnostic Statistical Manual (DSM)-5 overlaps with some of the surface-level indicators of Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) or "Pervasive Drive for Autonomy." Although there are many things that look the same on the surface, if we dig deeper to discover the root cause of your child's behavior, you may realize that Oppositional Defiant Disorder isn't really an explanatory diagnostic category, while Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is. I also outline the five things that an Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) diagnosis doesn't explain: Internalized expressions of PDA (e.g. freeze/fawn) Trouble accessing basic needs (e.g. toileting indepedently, safety, eating, sleeping, or hygiene) Sensory Differences Social Communication Differences Need for constant undivided attention/coregulation Citations: "High Masking" term by Rachel Dorsey, Autistic SLP TILT Parenting Podcast Reference: Episode 154: Dr. Mona Delahooke on Looking Beyond Children's Challenging Behavior Beyond Behaviors by Mona Delahooke Body-Brain Parenting by Mona Delahooke To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Mar 16, 2023

In this episode we explore identifying with a particular neurotype - whether it is Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA), Autistic, Neurotypical, ADHD, or none at all- and the choices we have for ourselves and for our children. At the core, we discuss how autonomy is incorporated into the process of your child choosing an identity, and separating that from medical diagnosis and the nervous system mechanisms that lead to fight/flight/freeze. Hope you enjoy! To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Mar 8, 2023

Why is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) so hard to understand as a parent and for therapists, pediatricians, teachers, and people looking in on your child's life? In this episode, I answer the following questions: How do I know whether it is "defiance" or typical kid behavior or Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)? How do I know whether it is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD), or ADHD? Can a PDA child appear totally typical at school or with a grandparent, but not at home? What if my child is not "explosive" - can they still be pathologically demand avoidant? (PDA) Citation: " Beyond Behaviors: Using Compassion and Brain Science to Understand and Solve Children's Challenging Behaviors " by Dr. Mona Delahooke To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Mar 6, 2023

Why is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) so hard to understand as a parent and for therapists, pediatricians, teachers, and people looking in on your child's life? In this episode, I answer the following questions: My child doesn't seem Autistic, can they still be Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA)? My child seems typical some of the time, can they still be Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA)? Citations: Term "High Masking" from Rachel Dosey, Autistic SLP " Far From the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity " by Andrew Solomon. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Feb 15, 2023

In this episode on Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) and Toileting, we discuss the impact that cumulative nervous system stress has on toileting, through two mechanisms: The nervous system's fight/flight or freeze response and how it impacts the metabolism, cortisol, and adrenaline, all of which impact digestion and toileting, and "Control coalescing" around toileting as a way to get back to a place of perceived safety. The episode concludes with some practical parenting advice on how to get unstuck from a PDA or demand avoidant child who refuses to potty train or who has had a toileting "regression" after being potty trained. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Jan 26, 2023

In this episode, I tackle the complex and often difficult topic of managing siblings and a PDA child at the same time, as well as the impact on siblings of raising a PDA child or child with a sensitive nervous system in the same home. Please note: This is recorded from a live video and so often when I said "Accidentally" I used air quotes because it was not truly accidental. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Jan 18, 2023

In this episode, I answer questions that parents submitted as "secret and inappropriate" about PDA. I answer as honestly and objectively as possible! The five questions were: ✨ Can you have “PDA Lite”? ✨ Is PDA always Autism? ✨What happened to an older generation of PDAers? ✨Can trauma cause PDA? ✨Do you think autism and PDA are more common now or do you think it is because we have broader diagnostic tools? Citation: "Neurotribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity" by Steve Silberman. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Jan 12, 2023

This episode describes the three stages of the journey that parents of PDA children and teens go through on their path to peace. First, the "Doing Everything" phase where you learn and do everything you possibly can to help your child. Second, the "Structural Change" phase where you make changes to your lifestyle and make difficult tradeoffs that reflect the fact that you are raising a child with a nervous system disability. Third, the "Surrender" phase where you seek out meaning, purpose, nervous system healing (for yourself), and sometimes spirituality as you let go of the things you cannot control in your life. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Jan 9, 2023

This episode describes why allowing yourself an experimental mindset while trying new approaches and accommodations with a PDA child or teen is so important. So you stop judging or paralyzing yourself with a fear of "doing it wrong" or not following some set of rigid rules. So you stop seeking answers that are already within your intuition and capacity to observe in day-to-day life with your child. So you stop comparing your path to other families, whether neurotypical or PDA. So you allow the accommodation practice to be fluid and change as your child does! Citation: "Neurotribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity" by Steve Silberman, Chapter 7: Fighting the Monster. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Dec 28, 2022

In this episode I answer the question I get over and over on social media, in my coaching containers and in the programs I run: "Are you just rewarding bad behavior by using an accommodation approach with your PDA child?" It is a very valid question and one that I grapple with daily because we have all been conditioned to think like this. Here I give you four ways to think about this as you are making decisions about whether and how to accommodate your PDA child's nervous system and threat reponse. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Dec 16, 2022

This episode explores "high masking" in PDA children and teens, across both the introverted and extroverted expression. It discusses the importance of recognizing masking, both for the sanity of parents, your child's well-being, and getting access to the structural support (diagnosis, insurance coverage, support at school), that you need. Citations: Rachel Dorsey, Autistic SLP (@dorseyslp) for term "High Masking" Sally Cat, Introverted PDA Advocate. See her page "Sally Cat" for more information on masking from perspective of the nervous system. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Dec 8, 2022

This episode teaches you a new way of thinking about how to approach the holiday season with a PDA child or teen. First, of course, you will want to think about accommodations and lowering demands, but you also need to set up a contingency plan, prepare for de-escalation, and then allow yourself to take this year's experience as "data" about what you can change structurally next year to make the holidays for joyful and peaceful for the whole family. I hope this sets you up for success! To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Dec 1, 2022

This episode outlines four things to look for as a parent to help you determine whether your child is PDA or is Autistic with Demand Avoidance. Ultimately, I tell you that what matters most is not the diagnosis or lable, but the which lens wer are supporting our child through and whether it is helping! To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Nov 30, 2022

This episode explains the four things or "states" that naturally regulate your Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA) child's nervous system: 1. Screens 2. Another safe nervous system (likely YOU) 3. Special interest or "Flow" (citation: Harry Thompson , PDA Autistic Advocate and Author of "The PDA Paradox") 4. Dopamine, novelty or sensory-seeking opportunities I offer some examples from my own life to demonstrate how to apply this framework in a practical way to your home while parenting a PDA child. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Nov 29, 2022

This brief episode explains what a "cognitive loop" is for a PDA child or teen, when they get stuck between their frontal lobe ("thinking brain") and their amygdala ("survival brain"). This is often when a child is experiencing an *internal* loss of autonomy because they can't do something they want or are trying to do. I provide exampes from my son's life, for example, on a ninja course and playing a video game. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Nov 29, 2022

This episode is a mix between a pep talk and some gently delivered tough love for parents of PDA children and teens, to get you unstuck, help you feel less alone, and realize that it's all gonna be OK. I discuss the stages of grief, bargaining, and acceptance, and share examples from my own journey to illustrate and normalize the experience that parents go through. This was originally a part of a Q+A session of the Paradigm Shift Program. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Nov 21, 2022

This epsiode provides the NINE key truths and mindset shifts you need to make aligned decisions as a parent of a PDA child or teen around limits and boundaries in the home. Sources of Inspiration and references for mindset shift #9: "The Power of Now" by Ekhart Tolle "Radical Acceptance" by Tara Brach "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Nov 16, 2022

This episode answers a question I often get from parents: If I can't use rewards and consequences with my Pathologically Demand Avoidant or demand avoidant child, how will they learn right from wrong? We talk about the long-game strategy for getting your child into their thinking brain (rather than the "survival brain" or Limbic System) so that they can learn, process information rationally and connect with you. I hope it serves you! Further Reading: For more on your child's "thinking" (or "upstairs" brain) vs. "survival" (or "downstairs") brain, see Chapter 3 of Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson's " The Whole Brain Child " To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Nov 16, 2022

This episode provides five things you can do to support your Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA), Autistic, or otherwise demand avoidant child in their eating, espeically if more traditional behavioral, exposure, or play-based approaches haven't been successful. We talk about five things: Understanding whether eating if your child's "Stickiest" basic need (vs. toileting, sleeping, or hygeine) and whether control coalesces around eating. Looking at eating *first* through the "autonomy and nervous system" lens, rather than first the Sensory Processing lens. Managing your own anxiety and energy around eating. Accommodations including but not limited to: choice, offerings, use of language, Novelty, and buffets. How to adapt therapeutic protocols - like the SOS Feeding protocol - for Pathological Demand Avoidance or a demand avoidant child. For courses and support, you can find services at At Peace Parents Citations and sources: For more on Declarative Language, please see the " Declarative Language Handbook " by Linda K. Murphy. Term " strewing " coined by Sandra Dodd in the unschooling community. To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey

Nov 15, 2022

This episode is an excerpt from a free training hosted by the Miami Sudbury School about PDA and Self-Directed Education with Casey Ehrlich , Ph.D. of At Peace Parents, LLC and Je'anna Clements , an expert in Self-Directed Education. The excerpt is Casey's portion of the training and explains what Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) looks like in children from the outside looking in, as a parent, teacher, therapist, or psychologist, and offers some insights into the types of accommodations that might be helpful for a PDA child in an educational setting. For more information on Pathological Demand Avoidance, see the PDA Society Website . For more course offerings and programs from Casey, check out the website for At Peace Parents . Citation: Kristy Forbes of InTunePathways , in reference to terms "Leveling" or "Compensation" behavior in PDA children. For more on the "internalized expression" of PDA, please see Sally Cat . To connect with me, find me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube For more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents . For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent. xoxo, Casey