December 2, 2025
EP 246: Helping Kids Tolerate Shame and Talk about Mistakes
The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}About this episode
Ever notice how some kids just cannot talk about hard things- especially if it’s about their own mistakes or ‘bad’ behavior? Maybe they melt down the second you bring it up… or shut down completely. Let’s unpack what’s really going on when kids refuse to talk about mistakes or anything that feels “bad.” You’ll learn why their brain might be protecting them from feelings that are just too much - and how you can gently help them build the capacity to feel bad and still be okay. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why refusing to talk about hard things isn’t defiance—it’s protection What’s happening in the brain when a child remembers something painful or shame-filled How to scaffold conversations about mistakes using stories, characters, and your own modeling The difference between avoiding hard conversations from connection mode versus protection mode Resources mentioned in this podcast: Resources included in the blog summary go here Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/talkaboutmistakes I would love to have you join me this March in Durango, CO for a 3-day, retreat style workshop: Presence in Practice: An experiential workshop into the neurobiology of how change happens. All details and registration ------> https://RobynGobbel.com/Durango Register by December 19 for $75 off! Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)