The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

21h ago

Cues of safety, danger, or life threat come from three places- inside, outside, and between. In part 3 of this series on felt safety, we are exploring felt safety from between- from relationship! In this episode, you’ll learn How availability of connection is a cue of safety or danger How neuroception can tell the state of the other person’s nervous system (connection or protection?) Why nervous systems are contagious How ‘between’ cues of safety eventually become ‘inside’ cues of safety How you can increase your own experience of safety even when you are parenting children in stuck in chronic procession mode Download a multi-page infographic all about felt safety: RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub Resources mentioned in this podcast: Connection Or Protection??? {Ep 7} When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139} Influence Behaviors, Not Control {Ep 101} Amanda Diekman’s Book! - Low-Demand Parenting Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetybetween I would love to have you join me this March in Durango, CO for a 3-day, retreat style workshop: Presence in Practice: An experiential workshop into the neurobiology of how change happens. All details and registration ------> https://RobynGobbel.com/Durango Register by December 19 for $75 off! Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

2d ago

In this second episode of a three-part series on felt safety, we are going to explore all the ways our kids (and ourselves) are neuroceiving safety or danger from what’s happening in the environment. In this episode, you’ll learn Misconceptions about felt safety External (outside) cues of felt safety, such as the environment, sensory experiences, structure, and environmental demands What we do with this information Free Multi-Page Infographic all about Felt Safety! CLICK HERE Resources mentioned in this podcast: What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {Ep 81} Focus On The Nervous System To Change Behavior {Ep 84} Connection Or Protection??? {Ep 7} Marti’s Book! - The Connected Therapist Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetyoutside I would love to have you join me this March in Durango, CO for a 3-day, retreat style workshop: Presence in Practice: An experiential workshop into the neurobiology of how change happens. All details and registration ------> https://RobynGobbel.com/Durango Register by December 19 for $75 off! Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

4d ago

Let’s go back to basics! Last week we talked about seeing behavior through the lens of the nervous system and then took a deep-dive into co-regulation. FREE Downloadable Infographic all about Felt Safety! RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetyinfographic This week begins a three-part deep-dive into the foundational concept of felt safety. What is felt safety, what isn’t felt safety, and why it matters! Next we will explore the many different ways we are all neuroceiving safety (or not) from our inner world. In this episode, you’ll learn Misconceptions about felt safety Internal cues of felt safety, such as hunger, illness, or being in chronic protection mode What we do with this information Resources mentioned in this podcast: Focus On the Nervous System to Change Behavior {Ep 84} What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {Ep 81} Connection or Protection??? {Ep 7} Enabling Vs. Low-Demand Parenting {Ep 144} Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetyinside I would love to have you join me this March in Durango, CO for a 3-day, retreat style workshop: Presence in Practice: An experiential workshop into the neurobiology of how change happens. All details and registration ------> https://RobynGobbel.com/Durango Register by December 19 for $75 off! Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Dec 8

To celebrate our 5th birthday, I gathered 5 tips from our top 5 episodes. I’m revisiting important take-aways from episodes about boundaries, oppositional behavior, and how parenting kids with a vulnerable nervous system is traumatic. Each of these episodes have a free downloadable infographic! You can find them all at RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub In this episode, you’ll learn What ‘boundary’ really mean (hint: it’s not about controlling anyone else’s behavior) What kind of boundary you need if you have a child who struggles with verbal aggression (psychological boundary!) What’s driving oppositional behavior (and therefore, what do we need to focus on to change it) What types of experiences lead to parenting becoming traumatic Resources mentioned in this podcast: Free Resource Hub RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/5tips I would love to have you join me this March in Durango, CO for a 3-day, retreat style workshop: Presence in Practice: An experiential workshop into the neurobiology of how change happens. All details and registration ------> https://RobynGobbel.com/Durango Register by December 19 for $75 off! Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Dec 2

Ever notice how some kids just cannot talk about hard things- especially if it’s about their own mistakes or ‘bad’ behavior? Maybe they melt down the second you bring it up… or shut down completely. Let’s unpack what’s really going on when kids refuse to talk about mistakes or anything that feels “bad.” You’ll learn why their brain might be protecting them from feelings that are just too much - and how you can gently help them build the capacity to feel bad and still be okay. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why refusing to talk about hard things isn’t defiance—it’s protection What’s happening in the brain when a child remembers something painful or shame-filled How to scaffold conversations about mistakes using stories, characters, and your own modeling The difference between avoiding hard conversations from connection mode versus protection mode Resources mentioned in this podcast: Resources included in the blog summary go here Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/talkaboutmistakes I would love to have you join me this March in Durango, CO for a 3-day, retreat style workshop: Presence in Practice: An experiential workshop into the neurobiology of how change happens. All details and registration ------> https://RobynGobbel.com/Durango Register by December 19 for $75 off! Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Nov 25

Does your child get stuck in “buy me, buy me, buy me!” mode? Or maybe they melt down when they can’t have what they want right now? I know it seems selfish, manipulative, or even bratty- but we want to put on our x-ray vision goggles and get curious about WHY. In this episode, we’ll unpack why delayed gratification and frustration tolerance are Owl Brain skills. You’ll learn how to grow your child’s capacity to wait, tolerate disappointment, and handle “no” without losing connection (and without losing your mind). In this episode, you’ll learn: Why delayed gratification and frustration tolerance depend on a strong Owl Brain How to make waiting concrete without turning it into a reward system Why connection and co-regulation- not consequences- grow real frustration tolerance Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/cantwait I would love to have you join me this March in Durango, CO for a 3-day, retreat style workshop: Presence in Practice: An experiential workshop into the neurobiology of how change happens. All details and registration ------> https://RobynGobbel.com/Durango Register by December 19 for $75 off! Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Nov 18

Is your child suddenly quiet … but you can feel something bubbling under the surface? They aren’t yelling, running, or arguing like usual- but you can tell their system is still fired up and on high alert. Today, we’re talking about that “quiet volcano” version of watchdog energy. It looks calm. Still. Almost possum-like. But inside? Their nervous system is holding a TON of activation right under the surface. In this episode, you’ll learn how to tell the difference between true shutdown and contained watchdog energy, why some kids start holding everything inside, and how to help that “stuck” activation soften and move in safe, co-regulated ways. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why watchdog energy can go quiet and look totally still, even though it’s NOT regulated How to figure out what’s really going on underneath the “calm” exterior What to do when your child is a volcano on the inside, including simple movement-based strategies that help the nervous system come back into rhythm and relational safety Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/volcanoes I would love to have you join me this March in Durango, CO for a 3-day, retreat style workshop: Presence in Practice: An experiential workshop into the neurobiology of how change happens. All details and registration ------> https://RobynGobbel.com/Durango Register by December 19 for $75 off! Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Nov 11

This episode originally aired in October 2024. All behavior makes sense and no behavior is maladaptive- in the moment that behavior emerges. Of course, the IMPACT of the behavior might be maladaptive and absolutely many behaviors need to change. But understanding that all behavior makes perfect sense at the moment it emerges is the lynchpin in offering folks co-regulation, connection, and felt-safety. In this episode, you’ll learn How all brains create reality The brain’s most important job The most effective path to take if you want to see behavior change There is a free, one-page infographic that summaries the neurobiology of behavior in my Free Resource Hub! The infographic captures inside/outside/between, the stream of the now and the stream of the past, and 11 million bits of data. Grab that infographic and more than 20 additional resources in the Hub! Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/allbehaviormakessense Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources! You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation! https://RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub I would love to have you join me this March in Durango, CO for a 3-day, retreat style workshop: Presence in Practice: An experiential workshop into the neurobiology of how change happens. All details and registration ------> https://RobynGobbel.com/Durango Register by December 19 for $75 off! Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)