Unblock Your BS

What happens when a man spends years trying to earn love by abandoning himself? In this episode, I sit down with Healthy Men-tality member Carlos for an honest conversation about nervous system regulation, shame, people-pleasing, emotional burnout, marriage struggles, and learning how to stop losing yourself inside relationships. Carlos shares what led him to the program after his wife hit a breaking point in their marriage, including isolation, depression, emotional shutdown, loss of identity, and feeling completely overwhelmed after moving his family internationally. Together, we unpack: Why people-pleasing eventually creates resentment The hidden relationship between shame and self-abandonment What emotional leadership actually looks like Why nervous system regulation changes parenting The difference between guilt and shame How men lose themselves trying to "earn" love Why so many men struggle to advocate for their needs The danger of stopping the work once things start feeling good One of the biggest themes throughout this episode: You cannot create emotional safety while abandoning yourself. There's also a powerful section around the "good guy" identity and how many men quietly judge themselves so harshly internally that they become trapped in performance, approval-seeking, and fear of disappointing others. And honestly… if you're a dad, the parenting conversation alone is worth listening to. Carlos shares how nervous system work changed the way he responds to chaos with his kids.. moving from overwhelm and snapping into playfulness, patience, and connection. If you're trying to rebuild yourself, your confidence, your emotional stability, or your relationship, this episode will hit home. If you wanna know more about the Healthy Men-tality Program, you can join my FREE TRAINING HERE __________________________________________________________________________________ Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: <a href= "h

Most men were never taught how to stay present when emotions get big. So when conflict happens in a relationship… they either shut down, try to fix it, disappear emotionally, or explode. Then comes the shame spiral. "I'm failing." "I'm broken." "I can't do this right." In this episode, Dave Lishansky and I unpack what's actually happening underneath those reactions, and why so many "nice guys" are really just men stuck in nervous system survival patterns. We talk about emotional safety, boundaries, self-abandonment, attachment dynamics, men's groups, breathwork, and why relationships eventually force us to confront the parts of ourselves we've spent years avoiding. Inside this episode: Why many men go silent during conflict What emotional safety actually means The hidden cost of people-pleasing and self-abandonment Why slowing down changes everything during hard conversations The difference between healthy masculine leadership and performance Why relationships become mirrors for our unresolved wounds How community and men's work help men regulate and heal What happens when one partner grows… and the other refuses to One of my favorite moments in this conversation was Dave talking about armor… how so many men walk through life emotionally armored because it never felt safe not to. And how relationships eventually ask you to put some of that armor down if you want real intimacy. If you're a man trying to rebuild trust, regulate your emotions, communicate better, or stop repeating the same relationship cycles… this episode is for you. This is the work we do inside the Healthy Men-tality Program: real tools, real support, real change. If you wanna know more, you can join my FREE TRAINING HERE __________________________________________________________________________________ Learn more about Dave's work here: https://www.davelishansky.com/podcast _____________________________________________________________________________

Some women spend years trying to explain the same pain. Different wording. Different tone. Different timing. Eventually the tears stop. The conversations get shorter. The resentment gets quieter. And then one day she says she's done. That's usually when panic finally kicks in. In this episode, Tara breaks down one of the hardest questions men face once they start healing after separation or divorce: "Why did it take losing me for you to finally change?" And honestly? Most men answer that question from shame instead of truth. Because underneath the defensiveness… underneath the shutdown… underneath the "I never meant to hurt you" response… there's usually a nervous system that has spent decades learning how to survive, protect, avoid failure, avoid rejection, avoid feeling "not enough." So when a partner brings pain to the relationship, many men don't actually hear: "Please understand me." They hear: "You're failing." "You're broken." "You're not enough." "You're losing her." That's the moment survival mode takes over. This episode gets into the real mechanics underneath relationship breakdown: how shame blocks empathy, why emotional safety matters more than winning the argument, why validation is NOT the same thing as agreeing, …. and how unresolved childhood conditioning quietly shapes adult relationships. This episode also explains why so many couples stay stuck cycling the exact same conflict for years even while both people genuinely love each other. Because love isn't the issue most of the time. Dysregulation is. Inside this episode: Why defensiveness is usually a protection strategy The nervous system reason couples repeat the same fights Why women emotionally detach long before they physically leave What men misunderstand about validation How shame and low self-worth distort communication Why "fixing it" often pushes your partner further away The difference between emotional understanding vs emotional management What repair actually sounds like in real conversations Why change often doesn't happen until rock bottom <p

Joey didn't walk into this expecting anything emotional. He thought he'd get a tactic. Maybe a business insight. Something useful he could apply. Instead, he ended up face to face with something he hadn't fully processed in years. His mom. She passed away when he was 23. He's 48 now. And somewhere along the way, without really realizing it, he'd been trying to recreate that connection. In relationships. In life. In the way he showed up. That's the part that stuck. Not the grief itself. The pattern underneath it. We talk about how that shows up in men more than they realize. The instinct to chase, to fix, to stay in motion instead of sitting still long enough to feel anything. And then what happens when you actually slow down. There's a moment in the session where he almost doesn't share what came up for him. You can hear it—the hesitation, the internal back and forth. He shares it anyway. Afterwards, people come up to him. Similar stories. Same kind of loss. Same thing they've been carrying quietly. That's kind of the thread through this whole episode. You don't think it matters to say it out loud. It does. We also get into: why most guys were trained early on that emotions = weakness how that conditioning sticks around way longer than you think what it actually feels like to let something out instead of suppress it and why the ability to receive—love, support, connection—is harder than it sounds Nothing about this is complicated. It's just unfamiliar. And if you've been staying busy, staying distracted, staying in control… this might be one of those conversations that makes you pause for a second. If this episode hits, you already know there's something you've been avoiding. Apply to come on the podcast and we'll talk it through: http://unblockyourbs.com/podcast Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/hea

This episode is what transformation actually sounds like in real time. Not polished. Not filtered. Not "I've got it all figured out." Just honest. Glenn came into Healthy Men-tality in the middle of a brutal divorce after a 20+ year marriage that had slowly turned into disconnection, resentment, and survival mode. What he didn't realize at the time? He wasn't just leaving a relationship. He was leaving a version of himself. Inside this conversation, we unpack: How men get conditioned to tolerate unhealthy dynamics without realizing it The "boiling frog" effect in long-term relationships Why being the "provider" can disconnect you from your emotional life The hidden cost of people-pleasing and enabling The shift from chasing women → choosing peace What loneliness actually feels like when chaos is removed How self-awareness changes your standards permanently And maybe the most important piece: 👉 You don't find peace in a relationship. 👉 You bring peace into one. If you're going through a divorce, separation, or just questioning your relationship… This episode is your mirror. __________________________________________________________________________________ If you were nodding along the whole time… you already know where you're avoiding something. Come on the podcast, we'll coach through it together: http://unblockyourbs.com/podcast __________________________________________________________________________________ Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram <a href= "https://www.tiktok.com/@unblockyourbs?is

You're successful… so why is your relationship falling apart? If you feel respected, valued, and confident in your career but disconnected, criticized, or unwanted at home… This episode will explain why. Inside this conversation, we break down the real root of "roommate marriages", and why traditional advice doesn't work What You'll Learn: Why your brain is wired to chase achievement over connection How dopamine addiction keeps you focused on work instead of your relationship The hidden reason presence and emotional intimacy feel uncomfortable Why you feel like you're "doing everything right"… but it's not landing How your identity as a provider is quietly sabotaging connection The 3 patterns men fall into when their partner pulls away: Defensiveness People-pleasing Avoidance Why trying to "fix her mood" is actually making things worse What it actually means to become an emotionally safe partner How to rebuild self-respect internally instead of chasing validation externally The Truth Most Men Miss: You're not failing because you don't care. You're struggling because: Your nervous system was never taught how to value what relationships require. And until that shifts… You'll keep winning in places that reward performance and losing in places that require presence. Ready to Fix This? If this episode hits you and you want to go deeper… Join my free training: "From Relationship Rock Bottom to Rebuilding the Man" Inside, I break down: – Emotional safety (what it actually means) – How to regulate your nervous system – How to rebuild connection without losing yourself 👉 Sign up here 👈 Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa <li dir

She said she was done. No real explanation. Just "I'm unhappy." And everything Skippy thought was stable... wasn't. In this episode, Tara sits down with Healthy Men-tality member Skippy to talk through what the early stages of separation actually looked like, and how he went from full panic mode to something he hadn't felt in years: clarity. In this episode: Why trying harder often makes things worse The 30-day no-emotional-pressure reset and what it actually did How nervous system regulation stopped the spiral The childhood patterns that quietly wreck adult relationships What it looks like to stop fixing her and start leading yourself Skippy didn't save the marriage. But his kids started noticing a different man walking through the door. That's the shift. If this episode hit close to home: Tara runs a free 2-hour live training called From Relationship Rock Bottom to Rebuilding the Man, built specifically for men who are in the middle of this. Not advice. Not blame. Just clarity on why you react the way you do under pressure, why trying harder keeps backfiring, and what actually needs to change. It's the conversation no one had with you before things got to this point. 👉 Save your spot here: REGISTER HERE   Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok   Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE   ______________________________________

There's a moment when everything you thought was stable… isn't. Not slowly. Not with warning. Just… gone! That's where this conversation starts. Bill was married for 16 years. He thought they had normal problems. Manageable ones. Then one conversation changed everything. His wife asked for a divorce… and he found out she had already moved on. In this episode of Unblock Your BS, I sit down with listener Bill as he navigates the raw, real aftermath of being blindsided. This isn't a polished success story. This is what healing actually looks like in real time. Inside this episode, we unpack: What happens when your nervous system goes into survival mode Why anxiety, panic, and even physical symptoms show up after emotional shock The hidden patterns most people miss in long-term relationships Why trying to "win them back" often pushes them further away The difference between guilt (growth) vs. shame (identity) What forgiveness actually looks like in practice—not theory How to stop replaying painful thoughts on repeat Why emotional regulation is the foundation for everything Most people aren't reacting to the event… They're reacting to the meaning they've created around it. And until you learn how to regulate your nervous system and shift those internal patterns… you'll keep reliving the same emotional experience, just in different situations. If this episode hit for you: You don't need to have it all figured out. You just need a different way through it. Download the FREE 5-minute Breathwork Learn more about Healthy Men-tality Or explore breathwork inside Self Aware Army Connect with Tara: <a href= "https://www.instagram.co

If your partner is constantly sending you relationship content… and your first instinct is to feel annoyed, confused, or defensive… This episode is going to challenge that. Because what looks like a "TikTok problem"… is usually a communication and emotional safety problem. Inside this solo episode, we break down what's actually happening when someone avoids direct communication, and how your response might be reinforcing the very cycle you're frustrated with. In this episode, we cover: Why sending TikToks is often a safer form of communication How social media algorithms reinforce emotional patterns The difference between symptoms vs. root problems in relationships Why defensiveness shuts down emotional safety instantly How to shift from reactivity → curiosity What emotional safety actually looks like in practice The role of childhood wounds in adult relationship dynamics Why labeling your partner (or being labeled) keeps you stuck How to take ownership without taking all the blame This episode will help you stop pointing fingers… and start understanding what's really going on beneath the surface. If you're realizing you don't have the tools to navigate this… you're not broken, you were just never taught. If you want to become the kind of man who: Stays calm instead of reactive Knows how to communicate without shutting down or blowing up Creates emotional safety in your relationship That's exactly what we work on inside Healthy Men-tality. 👉 You can apply here: www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen Or DM me the word HEAL on Instagram or TikTok No pressure, just a conversation to see what support makes sense for you. Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa </li

Most people don't go into marriage expecting it to end. And when it does… they don't have a roadmap. If you're a man facing divorce, you've probably heard the same story on repeat: You'll lose your money. You'll lose your kids. The system is rigged against you. But what if most of that is just noise? In this episode of Unblock Your BS, I sit down with Joe Dillon, co-founder of Equitable Mediation Services, to break down what actually happens in divorce, and how to navigate it without destroying your finances, your relationship with your kids, or yourself. Joe has spent 17+ years helping couples avoid courtroom battles and unnecessary chaos. He also lived through a highly contentious divorce as a child, which shaped the way he approaches this work today. We get into: Why divorce becomes a financial and emotional war zone The biggest myths men believe (and what's actually true) How mediation works—and when it doesn't What you can do right now to protect your time, money, and future And where this conversation really lands… is in how you approach the process. Because most people are making decisions way too early, based on eмоtion, assumptions, or incomplete information. One of the biggest shifts Joe shares is simple: do the discovery before the deciding. Don't agree to anything until you actually understand what you're working with. We also unpack: Why the "system is rigged" narrative isn't the full story What 50/50 parenting actually looks like in real life (and where most men get it wrong) What child support really is (and why it's often misunderstood) How to build a parenting plan that doesn't fall apart What actually damages kids during divorce… so you don't make it worse. Key Takeaways Divorce isn't just emotional—it's a negotiation Most conflict is driven by fear, control, and miscommunication Child support is shared responsibility, not punishment Parenting doesn't stop when it's "not your day" Your kids didn't ask for this… protect them from the fallout If this episode hit for you: 👉 Want to stop reacting and start responding? Download my free 5-minute breathwork session 👉 Want support around relationships, emotional regulation,

At 25, Coleman was cheating on his wife, chronically lying, and living in constant fight-or-flight. He didn't just lose his marriage. He realized he didn't like who he had become. This episode is the raw, unfiltered story of what it actually takes to change, not through mindset hacks, but through nervous system healing. From rock bottom… to somatic work, subconscious reprogramming, breathwork, and rebuilding emotional integrity. Today, Coleman helps women regulate their nervous systems, and teaches men how to create emotional safety instead of control. This conversation goes beyond "self-improvement." It's about what happens when your body finally learns safety. In This Episode, We Unpack: Why trauma isn't just the event, it's the story the body keeps telling Talk therapy ("mind down") vs somatic coaching ("body up") How breathwork completes the emotional processing loop Why peace can feel unsafe after years of chaos Co-regulation vs codependency… and what "fixing" is really about What emotional safety actually means in relationships How anxiety shows up in the body (and why you're not "just an anxious person") Why many men resist emotional work, and what shifts that Coleman shares the moment he looked at his life and thought: "I don't like who I am." That moment led him into: Plant medicine Somatic healing Inner child work Reparenting Intensive breathwork practice And ultimately…. into becoming a nervous system coach. If This Episode Hit… Send it to someone who: Says they're "just anxious" Struggles with control in relationships Feels stuck in fight-or-flight </l

Some moments in life split your story into two chapters: Before. And after. For Charlie, that moment happened the night he discovered his wife was having an affair. After 15 years together, his marriage collapsed overnight. His nervous system spiraled. His identity shattered. And he found himself sitting in his car wondering how his life had fallen apart so quickly. But that breakdown became the beginning of something unexpected. In this episode, Charlie shares the real story behind his healing journey inside the Healthy Men-tality program, from emotional shutdown and codependency to learning how to regulate his nervous system, rebuild his self-worth, and show up as a safer father and partner. What started as survival turned into transformation. Today? He's rebuilding his life, reconnecting with himself, strengthening his relationship with his kids, and discovering what it actually means to feel confident, calm, and emotionally safe. Not because his life became perfect. But because he changed how he shows up inside it. In this episode we explore: Why men often suppress emotions until everything explodes The nervous system spiral that happens after betrayal The codependency patterns that quietly destroy relationships How childhood wounds shape adult relationships The breathwork experience that completely shifted his healing Learning to observe thoughts instead of being controlled by them Setting boundaries with parents for the first time Becoming a safer parent for his kids during divorce Rebuilding identity after a relationship ends What happens when a man learns emotional regulation Charlie didn't just learn how to survive divorce. He learned how to trust himself again. And that changed everything. If you're a man navigating heartbreak, divorce, or feeling stuck in survival mode… You don't have to figure it out alone. The Healthy Men-tality Program teaches men how to: Regulate their nervous system Lead themselves emotionally Build relationships rooted in emotional safety Break patterns that sabotage connection Apply or learn more here: www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group

Heartbreak has a way of exposing patterns we didn't even realize we were living inside of. In this episode, Tara sits down with heartbreak and relationship coach Erica Wright to unpack the deeper dynamics that show up in relationships, especially after betrayal, divorce, or emotional disconnection. The conversation explores how codependency develops, why people often ignore their intuition in relationships, and what it actually takes to rebuild trust with yourself after a painful breakup. Erica shares how she helps clients heal using parts work and inner child work, explaining how the different "parts" of our psyche, like the people pleaser, the protector, or the abandoned child can drive our behaviors in relationships without us realizing it. Together, Tara and Erica explore the connection between nervous system regulation, emotional safety, and self-awareness, and why many relationship struggles aren't really about the surface-level conflict at all. They also dive into one of the most misunderstood concepts in relationships today: emotional safety… what it actually means, why so many men misunderstand it, and how learning to stay present with emotions (rather than fixing them) can completely change the dynamic between partners. If you've ever struggled with codependency, ignored your gut feeling in a relationship, or wondered how to trust again after betrayal, this conversation offers practical insight into how healing actually happens. In This Episode Why codependency often looks like "being supportive" or "loving deeply" How parts work (Internal Family Systems) helps people understand their emotional patterns The role of inner child work in healing anxious attachment and people-pleasing Why betrayal and cheating can create trauma to your sense of reality How rebuilding trust after heartbreak starts with trusting yourself again Practical ways to understand what your body is communicating through emotions What women mean when they say they want emotional safety in a relationship Why trying to "fix" your partner's emotions often makes things worse How curiosity and presence can transform difficult relationship conversations About Erica Wright Erica Wright is a relationship and

Divorce is messy. It's grief. It's a relief. It's rage. It's freedom. Sometimes all in the same week. In this solo episode, I break down what really happens after divorce, especially for the men I work with inside Healthy Men-tality. The bitterness. The bargaining. The shame spiral. The temptation to jump into something new just to avoid being alone. And here's the bold truth: Dating while you're still legally or emotionally tied to someone else often isn't healing… it's avoidance. We talk about: The 5 stages of grief in divorce (even when you initiated it) Why second marriages have higher divorce rates The nervous system rush of "new love" Shame as a childhood motivator… and how it follows men into adulthood Why being alone isn't proof you're unlovable How your partner reflects your self-worth Standards vs. protection The difference between choosing singleness and hiding in it This episode is about reclaiming yourself, not rushing to replace what you lost. If you're navigating separation, divorce, or life after a long-term relationship, this one's for you. If you're ready to rebuild as a grounded, regulated, self-aware man, DM me HEAL and let's talk about Healthy Men-tality. Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community <a href= "https://selfawarearmy.circle.so/checkout/60-m

You're good teammates.Good parents. But behind closed doors?Something's missing. The spark.The fire.The "I can't wait to touch you" energy. Most couples don't talk about sex or nobody knows how to actually talk about it. In this episode, I sit down with sex and intimacy coach Dan Purcell to talk about what's really underneath the roommate marriage phase and why trying to "get more sex" is often the exact thing killing desire. We unpack: Why desire discrepancy is so common (and what it actually means) The "sweatpants phase" and how polarity shifts over time How covert contracts and duty-based sex quietly destroy intimacy Why trying to control or convince your partner backfires How men can express sexual desire without entitlement or blame The real role nervous system regulation plays in attraction Why emotional safety is the foundation of sexual chemistry Practical, playful ways to bring novelty back into your relationship The truth? You don't improve your sex life by controlling your partner. <p class=

Two D' Days. That's what Clayton calls them. The day he discovered the sexual affair. And the day he found out it wasn't the only one. She cheated. Twice. When he found out about the affairs, his reality shattered. He stopped functioning. Sat on the couch. Scrolled TikTok for answers. Six months later? His marriage is still rocky. But he's calm. Clear. Grounded. And not afraid anymore. In this episode, Clayton shares what happened after joining Healthy Men-tality and how nervous system regulation changed everything, not by saving his marriage overnight, but by rebuilding him. We unpack: What betrayal actually does to a man's nervous system Why breathwork felt "sketchy" (until it rocked his world) The physical experience of emotional release (yes… including the T-Rex arms) Killing the people pleaser without becoming an asshole Emotional detachment vs. emotional shutdown Setting boundaries when trust is gone The moment divorce stopped scaring him How showing up for himself made him a better father Clayton shares what it looked like to: Stop performing for love Stop negotiating self-respect Stop trying to control someone else's choices Draw a line in the sand Show up as a father with presence and clarity He says something powerful in this episode: "The old me is dead." And what replaced him? A man who can sit in sadness without collapsing. A man who doesn't fear divorce. A man who doesn't chase breadcrumbs. A man who can say: "I'm not abandoning myself anymore." If you're in a relationship that's falling apart… If you're trying to earn love through performance… If you feel shattered, dysregulated, stuck… This episode will hit. If you resonated with Clayton's story, I'm hosting a free 60-minute live

You finally decided to do the work. You're learning about nervous system regulation. You're reflecting on your patterns. You're trying to show up differently. And instead of relief… She says: "Why now?" "I've been asking for this for years." In this episode, Tara breaks down: Why resentment often shows up when growth begins What emotional shutdown in women actually means Why your healing doesn't automatically repair years of micro-betrayals How to develop emotional range instead of emotional volatility What emotional safety actually means (beyond the buzzword) Why empathy isn't weakness — it's leadership If you're navigating a separation, divorce, or relationship breakdown… If she feels emotionally out of reach… If you freeze, shut down, over-explain, or get defensive in conflict… This episode will challenge you — and give you a path forward. <p class="e-91090-text encore-text-body-medium" data-encore-id= "text" data-slate-node="element" data-slate-fragment= "JTVCJTdCJTIydHlwZSUyMiUzQ

If every conversation with your partner feels like an attack… If feedback turns into defensiveness, shutdowns, or arguments… If you keep asking yourself, "Why does this keep happening?" This episode is for you. In today's conversation, I break down why defensiveness isn't confidence or self-advocacy… it's a nervous system response rooted in shame and early childhood wiring. We're unpacking: Why your body reacts before your logic ever shows up How defensiveness protects an identity wound, not your relationship The difference between guilt ("I did something wrong") and shame ("I am wrong") Why high-achieving men feel regulated at work but unravel at home How childhood beliefs quietly drive adult relationship conflict What actually changes when you heal self-worth instead of chasing validation This isn't about blaming your partner.It's about understanding what's happening inside you, and learning how to interrupt the cycle so you can show up steady, grounded, and emotionally safe. If you're ready to stop surviving your relationship and start rebuilding from the inside out, I'm inviting you to my free training: 👉 From Relationship Rock Bottom to Rebuild <p class="e-910

When life punches you in the throat (flu, ice storm, a branch through your roof at 5am… you know, casual "unprecedented times" stuff), you learn real fast what "emotional safety" actually means. And here's the thing: emotional safety has become a buzzword. A lot of women use it. A lot of men hear it and instantly translate it as physical safety. "I've never hit her." "I don't scream." "I would never hurt her." Cool… but that's not the conversation your partner is trying to have. In this episode, I'm breaking down what an emotionally safe partner is NOT—because most relationships aren't falling apart from one big dramatic event. They're dying from the daily patterns: defensiveness, fixing, shutting down, walking on eggshells, and two nervous systems treating each other like threats. Spoiler alert: You can't create emotional safety with someone if you don't know how to be emotionally safe within yourself. In this episode, we get into: Why "I never get upset" isn't emotional safety - it's usually repression The difference between uncomfortable vs unsafe (and why this wrecks communication) Why walking on eggshells is a relationship death sentence The Fixer/Rescuer trap: how "solving it" is often you avoiding your own discomfort Why the real root problems aren't the dishwasher, the tone, or the text message How trauma (big T and little t) gets stuck in the body and drives your reactions Why therapy-speak doesn't equal healing (and why your partner can feel the difference) The skill that changes everything: curiosity > defensiveness Next week, registration opens for my biggest free training yet: "From Relationship Rock Bottom to Rebuild" We're going deep on nervous system regulation, relationship patterns, and what it actually takes to become an emotionally safe partner. If you're not on my email list, you might miss the registration link so download this free 5 minute Breathwork gift and it'll get you on my email list and give you a daily reset tool to practice: www.unblockyourbs.com/5minutebreathwork Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing communi

Wayne is separated from his wife of 30 years and after starting therapy, he's realizing something that hits a lot of men like a truck: He spent decades hiding emotions to keep the peace… until his body couldn't do it anymore. In this coaching episode, we talk about emotional shutdown, suppressed rage, and why Wayne mostly feels anger and barely joy with almost nothing in between. We break down what "freeze + fight" looks like in real life, why emotions feel scary when you've been trained to suppress them, and the practical tools that help you find the gap between trigger and reaction (so you don't explode… or disappear). In this episode, we cover: Why emotional numbness isn't "cold"...it's survival The difference between fight vs freeze (and how men get stuck in both) A simple body-scan + breathing tool that takes 10 seconds How to widen the "gap" in the heat of conflict Why your self-image can't be built on achievements The "boiling pot with the lid on" metaphor (and why breathwork works to turn off the heat) How to stop outsourcing validation and start meeting your own needs Want support? If you're a man navigating separation/divorce, emotional shutdown, rage, or relationship patterns you're ready to change, you can learn more about Healthy Men-tality and even apply for the program here: www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen And if you ever want to be coached on the podcast, you can apply at unblockyourbs.com/podcast Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download <a hre

He came home from an AA meeting. The kids were gone. His wife was gone. Divorce papers were sitting on the counter. And that was just the beginning. In today's coaching episode, I'm talking with Onus bout what happens when: your nervous system lives on high alert, being misunderstood feels like a threat, anger shows up before vulnerability, and your relationships become a constant attempt to "earn" love… instead of receive it. We get into disorganized / fearful-avoidant attachment, ADHD rage, the difference between uncomfortable vs unsafe, and why co-parenting trust can't be rebuilt on vague mind-reading rules. If you've ever thought: "Why do I get so defensive?" "Why don't I trust good things?" "Why does being alone feel unbearable?" …this one is for you. In this episode, we cover: Why "ethical non-monogamy" often becomes outsourced connection when there aren't real boundaries The real fear under defensiveness: "If I'm alone, I don't matter" Why yelling can feel normal to one person and unsafe to another (and what to do with that) A simple co-regulation tool to use mid-conflict The question that changes co-parenting dynamics: "What's the roadmap back to trust?" Why shame keeps you stuck and what accountability actually looks like Your next step (if you want support): If you're a man trying to rebuild your emotional stability, relationships, and self-respect after divorce or heartbreak, my program Healthy Men-tality was built for this. Learn more + apply: www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen And if you're not ready for that yet, start with one small thing today like downloading my free 5minute daily breathwork practice to take the edge off the intensity of your stress, anxiety, anger or fear… www.unblockyourbs.com/5minbreathwork Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram <a href= "https://www.tiktok.com/@unblockyourbs?is_from_webapp=1&sende

When your partner is "mad," most people react like anger is the problem. It's not. Anger is usually protection and what's underneath it is what actually needs care, leadership, and emotional intelligence. In this episode, I'm going to break down what happens when men outsource emotional labor to women, why women's hormones can amplify stress without either partner realizing what's happening, and how relationships slowly lose intentionality until everything becomes reactive. I'm also going to share the five common mistakes that keep couples stuck in the same cycle ESPECIALLY after kids, stress, and burnout enter the picture. In this episode, I cover: Why anger is a protective emotion (and what's usually underneath it) How men's default "anger strategies" (shutdown, defensiveness, blow-ups) block connection What it looks like to outsource emotional labor to your partner (reassurance, hypervigilance, avoiding hard conversations) A practical view of women's hormones and why "she woke up anxious/mad" isn't always about you Why couples get trapped in "who does more" wars instead of co-creating a shared vision Accountability vs. apologizing: why "I'm sorry" without identity-level change is lip service The praise problem: why wanting validation for small tasks often means you don't validate yourself Why boundaries feel "controlling" to people who avoid conflict and what happens to your body when you repress emotions How emotional safety is built (and why intimacy often disappears when safety disappears) If you're realizing you've been reactive, avoidant, or stuck in the same cycle and you want actual tools for emotional regulation, conflict, boundaries, and relational leadership check out the Healthy Men-tality program - a 12-week training + coaching container that teaches men nervous system regulation, childhood wiring, codependency healing, leadership in relationships, and practical emotional tools that change how you show up. Learn more and apply here: www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram <li di

You can know all the nervous system language, do the breathwork, read the books, got therapy… and still find yourself lying awake at 3 a.m. replaying every conversation with your partner (past or present), wondering why you STILL feel like a failure. In today's episode, I coach Autumn - a recently divorced listener to the pod - through the question that's been running her entire life since childhood… "Am I enough?" What You'll Hear in This Episode: How fear of failure and "am I enough?" get tangled together and bleed into every area of your life. What functional freeze actually looks like in real life (spoiler: you can still go to work, pay bills, and be completely shut down). Why your brain loops at night and how to work with your body instead of fighting it when you can't sleep. The moment Autumn realizes she's still competing with her younger brother's "golden child" status and how that old comparison is driving her money, success, and relationship stress. The difference between being a human doing and a human being, and why rest feels so unsafe when your worth has always been tied to performance. How childhood people-pleasing patterns shows up as over-functioning in adult relationships. A simple way to notice whether you're acting from self-abandonment or self-respect in how you're showing up in relationships. If you've ever sat in bed thinking, "I've done so much healing work - why am I still triggered by this?", this episode will help you see that you're not broken. Your nervous system is just running the only pattern it's ever known - staying safe by believing you're never enough. Once you can see that familiar pattern, you can start choosing something different to shift out of toxic patterns and cycles! Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call

When you're going through a separation or divorce, the holiday season doesn't feel magical… it feels like a spotlight on everything that's changed. Waking up in a quiet house… splitting time with your kids for the first time… trying to act "fine" while everyone around you is celebrating, it can make even the strongest men feel cracked open. In this episode, I share what no one prepares you for during the first (or third) holiday season when your family dynamic looks different than you ever imagined and how to survive it without collapsing into shame, isolation, or panic. More importantly, we talk about how to stop resisting what is so you can start creating a holiday experience that doesn't make you dread December every year. Episode highlights include: Why loneliness hits harder when you're already grieving the life you thought you'd have The difference between pain and suffering (and why one is optional) How to make this season suck less without forcing joy or pretending you're okay Creative ways to redefine holidays when you're without your kids What to do when family expectations make everything worse How to stop seeing being alone as evidence that you're unlovable The mindset shift that turns holidays from something you endure into something you can shape If this season feels heavy, this episode will help you take back choice, control, and dignity even when nothing looks the way you wanted it to. 🎁 Holiday Gift for Our Listeners - The Gift of a Regulated Nervous System AND AS MY GIFT TO OUR PODCAST LISTENERS IN NAVIGATING THIS HOLIDAY SEASON TO SUCK LESS - come learn to regulate your nervous system with Somatic Breathwork inside of my Breathwork Community called The Self Aware Army for only $1 for your first month in the program (then $39/month thereafter - cancel anytime). To Learn More about the Self Aware Army and to Get started today for Only $1 www.unblockyourbs.com/blackfriday You'll get: Live monthly somatic breathwork sessions On-demand 24/7 breathwork library Coaching support <li dir="ltr" aria

When Brian joined Healthy Men-tality, his marriage was on life support. He was desperate to fix the cracks that had formed after trust was broken but what he discovered was that the real repair had to start within himself. In this raw, powerful conversation, Brian shares how learning nervous system regulation, emotional safety, and inner healing shifted him from people-pleasing and fear of abandonment to grounded self-leadership. You'll hear: What happens when men stop fixing and start feeling The cycle of rejection and resentment that kills connection How breathwork became a bridge back to emotional safety Why learning to be present changed his family's dynamic What rebuilding trust really looks like… with yourself and your partner If your marriage feels impossible, this episode is living proof that healing is possible but it starts with you. 👉 Learn more about the Healthy Men-tality program and apply here: www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen   Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok  Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Apply to the Healthy Men-tality Men's Program Submit a ques

Men: if you're exhausted trying to "be enough" and fix everything at home, this episode shows how to stop self-abandoning, regulate, and lead yourself so connection actually grows (instead of resentment). In this coaching episode, we unpack the real reason many men feel "not good enough" and why trying to manage your partner's emotions keeps you stuck. You'll learn how codependency forms, why her mood can't define your worth, and the simple, uncomfortable actions that build emotional safety: stop fixing, own your lane, and make choices you're proud of (even if you're scared). What You'll learn: • What codependency looks like in men (plain English) • Why "happy wife, happy life" backfires and what to do instead • Emotional safety basics: predictability, regulation, curiosity over control • How to rebuild connection with your kids (why calls beat texts) • A 30-day check-in rhythm for couples to get out of survival mode If this hit home and you want support to rebuild your identity, calm your nervous system, and lead with clarity, apply for Healthy Men-tality. There's no commitment to join by applying - it just lets us hop on a quick Zoom to figure out what support makes sense for you right now and if this 12 week coaching program is the next right step if you're a man experiencing the same struggles our guest Jim is experiencing: www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen   Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok  Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Apply to the Healthy Men-tality Men's Program <a href= "http

If you've ever been praised at work and lost at home, you're not alone. My good friend and guest on today's episode is Paul Coleman, who thought "providing" was enough for his family… until conflicts, distance, and a daughter's simple note exposed the truth: true connection with loved ones was a skill and he was lacking in it. Paul is a former professional athlete and top 1% California real estate agent, husband, and father to four. Over two years, he has rebuilt his inner world - finally facing childhood wounds he swore he had dealt with already, learning emotional safety for himself and how to create that for others, and choosing presence over performance. In this episode, he shares the exact steps that changed how he shows up for his family differently, because what he believed was "showing up" wasn't working. You'll Hear Why "man up" works- until it absolutely doesn't The household red flags that launched his healing journey The book that unlocked his reactivity as a father and partner ("Parenting from the Inside Out") How reframing his origin story (and writing to his estranged father) melted decades of anger Emotional safety 101: presence, regulation, and not mirroring your partner's mood The 6-year-old's note that reoriented his entire approach to love How to stop fixing and start holding (and why it changes everything) Building brotherhood: why men's groups accelerate growth Practical boundaries when hormones, stress, and history collide Walk away with a clear picture of what emotional safety looks like in practice from a man's perspective, how to become the grounded "rock" your partner and kids can lean on, and why presence… NOT performance creates lasting connection. And men listening - if you're feeling called out (in the best way) - Learn more and Apply for my men's coaching program: Healthy Men-tality Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok <a href= "https://youtube.com

Modern dating is a minefield of mixed signals, ghosting, and people saying they want "real connection" while avoiding the real work it takes to build one. But what if the chaos wasn't a punishment - what if it's a mirror? In this episode, two men pull back the curtain on how to date with radical transparency and integrity in a world full of band-aids and quick fixes. Chris Bates, Dating Coach for Men and author of The Dating Edge, and Joel Cochran, mindset and business coach and co-creator of Wife or Bust, are on a mission to help men turn modern dating into a springboard for personal development. They talk about how childhood wounds shape attraction, why most people use dating apps like slot machines instead of filters, and what it actually means to lead with character and clarity in love. You'll Hear: How to turn the mess of modern dating into a personal development game. The mindset shift that makes dating less about "finding her" and more about becoming him. Joel's simple rule that instantly lowers defensiveness and builds connection: "Questions pull. Statements press." Why men hear feedback better from other men - and how to build your own brotherhood. What "dating with integrity" really means (and why you should always close the loop instead of ghosting). Chris's "four legs of the stool" and how to build a solid life foundation before inviting a woman in. Hinge vs Bumble: why your profile isn't a highlight reel - it's a landing page for the right woman. <p class="e-91090-text encore-text-body-medium" data-encore-id= "text" data-slate-no

Jack is a 24-year Army combat veteran who retired into a quiet house and a loud nervous system. Without the mission and tribe, drinking became the go-to "solution." In this honest conversation, Jack shares how rock bottom in a VA emergency room cracked him open, how default coping mechanisms kept him stuck, and how Healthy Men-tality gave him the structure, community, and tools to regulate, take ownership, and rebuild his identity. You'll hear about: The invisible crash after retirement: losing tribe, purpose, and identity Why anger "worked" in the military and failed at home Drinking as nervous-system management (effective short-term, destructive long-term) The moment of truth in the ER: admitting powerlessness and receiving help Therapy vs. coaching: connecting dots vs. changing behavior Breathwork, body-based regulation, and learning to be present Codependency, people-pleasing, and replacing shame with responsibility Building a new identity: emotionally attuned, regulated, and proud If Jack's story hit a nerve and you're ready to finally let go of the burden you've been carrying and managing (poorly) alone, apply to Healthy Men-tality. Get the knowledge, the brotherhood, and the mastery of taking control back of your life: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Apply to the Healthy Men-tality Men's Program <a href= "https://unblockyourbs.lpages.co/

Today I'm joined by Jana McKinney, CEO & Founder of Get Living Breathwork, to unpack why facilitated breathwork can shift you faster and deeper than years of white-knuckling or logic-only therapy. We get into the physiology (vagus nerve, diaphragmatic breathing, nitric oxide), the three layers of breathwork (awareness, daily regulation, journey work), and how journey-style sessions surface and release stored survival energy so you stop repeating the same emotional cycles. We also talk skeptics, safety, and how breathwork + therapy together becomes rocket fuel for growth. If you've ever wondered whether breathwork is "just woo," this one bridges science and lived results—beautifully. What You'll Learn Why belly/diaphragmatic breathing instantly tones the vagus nerve How "over-breathing" keeps you anxious and the 5 breaths/min fix The 3 types of breathwork: awareness, daily protocols (e.g., box breathing), and journeys What happens in a journey: stress → parasympathetic rebound, endogenous DMT release, memory reconsolidation, and somatic discharge Why gentle vs. intense protocols unlock different layers of healing How co-regulation & mirror neurons ripple healing through families A practical frame to combine therapy + breathwork for faster change Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join Coach Tara's healing community to do a breathwork session today + learn more nervous system healing tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa Men on a Healing Journey - Ready to regulate, lead, and stop repeating patterns: Join Healthy Men-tality Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen Connect with Jana: Follow @g.e.t.l.i.v.i.n.g on Instagram Check Out Her Signature "Get Living Breathwork Facilitator Certification Program Conne

Kyle's story is proof that you don't have to stay stuck in the pain of divorce, disconnection, or old patterns. In this episode, Kyle,  one of the men currently inside Healthy Men-tality my 12-week coaching program just for men - shares his journey of hitting rock bottom after a blindsiding divorce, how he almost drowned in alcohol and isolation, and why he finally chose to get support. Inside the episode Kyle share how this program has helped him: Release decades of bottled-up emotions through breathwork. Find brotherhood and safety in a group of men all doing the work. Start communicating differently in dating and relationships — no longer trying to fix everything or fawn for approval. Learn to regulate his nervous system instead of spiraling. And even noticed his golf game improve because he's no longer beating himself up hole after hole. This is what happens when men commit to healing. 👉 If Kyle's story resonates with you, apply now for the next round of Healthy Men-tality at www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen.   Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok  Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Apply to the Healthy Men-talit

When we're lonely, it's easy to throw money, time, and hope into quick fixes for love. Matchmaking services promise "high-quality partners" but are they really delivering? I dropped $7,000 on a service that matched me with men who were… let's just say, not exactly husband material. From shocking disclosures to ghosting to inappropriate texts on Christmas, I quickly realized I'd paid a premium for more disappointment than the free dating apps. In this episode, I (embarrassingly) share my real story of hiring a matchmaker - the good, the bad, and the straight-up bizarre - so you can learn from my mistakes (and save yourself the expensive learning lessons). More importantly, I unpack what desperation does to our decision-making, and why self-work and nervous system regulation are a far better investment than outsourcing love.  Episode highlights include: The truth about what matchmaking services actually offer The red flags I ignored because I wanted love so badly Why compatibility > chemistry > desperation every single time How to date without settling or self-abandoning If you've ever felt the pull to settle or rush love, this episode will help you pause and reset. ✨ For women: Join the Self Aware Army for breathwork + coaching → unblockyourbs.com/saa ✨ For men: Apply to Healthy Men-tality → unblockyourbs.com/healthy-men or DM me HEAL on Tik Tok or Instagram   Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok  Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara <a href= "https://unblockyourbs.lpages.co/5-min-

Most couples stay stuck in the same painful cycles because they believe their partner makes them feel unloved, unwanted, disrespected or upset. But when you hand someone else the keys to your emotional state, you give up your agency and ability to regulate your own emotions. The result? Endless reactivity, blame, and miscommunication that leaves both people hurt and defensive. In this solo episode, I'll explain why "triggers" aren't created by your partner - they're revealed. Drawing on nervous system science, childhood attachment patterns, and real client examples, I'll show you how to separate facts from stories, regulate emotions, and communicate with curiosity instead of accusation. Here's some highlights: The orange juice metaphor that flips the script on blame A real-life birthday gift debacle one tik tok lady is facing example that reveals fact vs. story in conflict How your reticular activating system and amygdala work together in emotional spirals Why anger is a protective emotion and how to release it safely What it looks like to take your power back in relationships   Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok  Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Get on the Healthy Men-tality Waitlist <a href= "http://www.unblockyourbs.com/rebuil

Most of us get hijacked by spirals of anger, shame, or the "should storms" of life. We either shut down, blow up, or perform our pain for approval. But the cost is high: broken relationships, wasted energy, endless regret, and a nervous system that never feels safe. And while the internet is full of "healing tips," few people are embodying them in real time. Enter Eric Palacios, returning guest, creator of the Stay Light journal and Palaciosophy, and a living example of turning breakdowns into breakthroughs. In this episode we revisit the fateful Waffle House night in Nashville that shifted his life and unpack how Stoicism, Buddhism, and Taoism meet in the messiness of everyday life. In this episode we dive into… The "Waffle House breakdown" that became Eric's catalyst for emotional autonomy The 3-part detachment framework: pause (Buddhism), control what you can (Stoicism), trust the flow (Taoism) Why performative healing isn't the same as living in alignment How reframing "should" → "could" → "can" changes everything The trap of trying to heal partners who don't choose their own growth Ready to stop spiraling and start leading yourself? Follow Eric: @palosciosophy on TikTok Grab his Stay Light Journal Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community

Why is it you can be so chill and peaceful single but the second you start the talking phase or go on a single date with someone - it triggers the anxious spirals, shutdowns, and self-abandonment that leave you doubting your worth and all of the healing work you've been doing single?!? From that feeling of desperation as you wait on a text response (and the torture that ensues when more than a few minutes have passed) to over-functioning in relationships where you turn on the charm and performative "mating ritual" of the early stages of modern dating trying to get any kind of approval, validation and a dopamine hit of attention - the nervous system hijacks connection. Add perfectionism, "earning love," and ignoring red flags in the name of empathy or people-pleasing, and that's a sure fire recipe for exhaustion masquerading as intimacy and "courtship". Enter today's guest expert, Shaina Richardson, a dating and relationship hypnotherapist for powerhouse women. In this episode, we'll unpack how to decode nervous system "activations" as Shaina calls it (aka triggers), how to stop gaslighting yourself, and the path to creating relationships that feel safe and soul-aligned. What all we'll cover: Why your body freaks out in dating and how to translate its language Hypnosis as a tool to rewire reactions (yes, beyond funky chicken stereotypes) The meaning you attach to texts, "I'm busy," and "not my person"... and how to shift it The trap of micro self-abandonment (aka putting his needs above yours) Vulnerability as the bridge to masculine, healthy love Ready to build relationships as powerful as your career? Work with Shaina: Follow @hey.shainamarie on Instagram @hey.shainamarie on Tiktok Coach Tara's Breathwork + Healing Community: www.unblockyourbs.com/saa Apply to Healthy Men-tality - Coach Tara's Men's Coaching Program: UnblockYourBS.com/healthymen or DM HEAL on Tik Tok or IG to learn more Connect with Tara: <a href= "https:/

A post I shared went viral on "roommate marriages" and it highlighted the same core pains from over 400,000 men: no intimacy, eggshell communication, codependency, betrayal wounds, mental health strain, financial/family entanglements, and deep isolation. When you're dysregulated, you can't desire. Logic can't land when emotions flood the brain. And people-pleasing feels "kind" or loving until you realize it's just self-abandonment at it's core. Stay here long enough and you'll start calling a war "gender" that the other side is the problem - when it's really nervous system (hers) vs nervous system (yours) fighting for safety in the only (toxic/dysfunctional) ways they know how. In this episode, I break down the top common themes I noticed in these types of relationships and give you a nervous-system-aware playbook that leads with curiosity over defensiveness, boundaries over control, and language that reveals AND rewires beliefs - thus hopefully… unblocking your bs ;) Here's what we get into: Why "roommate marriages" happen and how to restore safety and intimacy (that's not just physical) Stonewalling/defensiveness decoded (and the "fix/advice/listen?" script) Codependency vs care: the exact line where kindness becomes self-abandonment Betrayal repair basics: trust yourself first, then rebuild together When to stay, when to go, and how to do the consequence math Why men struggle to share and how to get real support that works Men - if you're ready to overhaul your nervous system so you stop feeling stuck and like a ghost in your own home/marriage/life? Apply to Healthy Men-tality and let's see if it's the right next step for you on your journey to stop destructive or unhealthy cycles in your relationships: www.UnblockYourBS.com/healthymen or DM me on Tik Tok HEAL Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community <a href= "https://selfawarearmy.circle.so/checkout/60-minute-

For 20 years, John lived in the "nice guy" role… fawning, avoiding conflict, and losing himself in the process. His marriage looked stable on the outside, but inside he felt empty, resentful, and disconnected.   When the relationship ended, his first instinct was to date again and fill the emotional hole with someone new. But without facing the childhood wounds and nervous system patterns that shaped his behavior, he knew he'd bring the same baggage into another relationship. Through breathwork, inner child work, and the Self Aware Army, John learned that fawning isn't kindness - it's survival mode. Reconnecting with himself, setting boundaries, and building a life he enjoys have made him confident, calm, and clear about what he wants in love.  You'll hear: The childhood dynamics that led to 20 years of people-pleasing How breathwork became the catalyst for deep emotional release Why vulnerability is the foundation of true connection The freedom that comes from building a life you love… before adding a partner If you're interested in learning more about Breathwork and healing your nervous system inside of our Self Aware Army healing community - check out www.unblockyourbs.com/saa  If you're ready to stop outsourcing your worth and start leading in life and love, apply to Healthy Men-tality at UnblockYourBS.com/healthymen or DM me HEAL on Instagram or Tik Tok.   Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok  Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara <li dir="

When emotions run high, most people react from their wounds, not their wisdom. The result? Miscommunication, spiraling arguments, and a lot of "fixing" that doesn't actually solve anything. Whether it's your partner blowing up over a text you didn't answer fast enough or you shutting down the second you feel criticized, these moments aren't about the present, they're about old patterns. And unless you learn to recognize them, you'll keep recycling the same conflicts. In this solo episode, I break down my coaching approach: how I listen for the beliefs behind your words, why I see emotional reactions as inner child moments, and how curiosity can change the whole conversation. You'll learn: Why coaching isn't about fixing you (because you're not broken) How language reveals the beliefs driving your behavior The "inner child lens" for understanding emotional reactions Why curiosity > defensiveness in conflict Want to work with me 1:1 or as a couple to stop cycling the same conflicts? Check out my coaching packages at UnblockYourBS.com/workwithme or DM me on Instagram/TikTok @unblockyourbs   Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok  Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Get on the Healthy Men-tality Waitlist Submit a question for

Healing gave her insight. Inner child work gave her peace. In today's episode, I sit down with Jen Peters, an internationally recognized inner child healer and the founder of a 127,000-person inner child healing community. Together, we unpack what actually creates lasting healing for our students and clients - especially for those who've done all the things but still feel stuck. Inside this episode we dive into: How your nervous system holds onto trauma you don't even remember Why your relationship issues are actually childhood wounds in disguise What makes somatic and subconscious healing faster and more effective than mindset work alone Jen shares her own story of adoption, emotional neglect, narcissistic abuse, and rebuilding her life from rock bottom Why healing doesn't need to take years—and what to do when therapy stops working Whether you're the codependent, the avoidant, or the overfunctioner in your relationships… this episode will speak to the parts of you that just want to feel safe. Be sure to download Jen's free digital book , Coming Home, as an exclusive gift for our Unblock Your BS listeners and start your inner child healing journey today. https://jen-peters.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Coming_Home_-_The_Path_to_Healing_Your_Inner_Child_-_Digital_version-2.pdf Connect with Jen Peters: Instagram: @jenpeters_soulguide_healer Website: www.jen-peters.com Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download <a href= "http://www

What if your patterns in love weren't proof that you're broken but invitations to finally come home to yourself? In this powerful episode, I'm joined by Leona Schrock, a fellow coach, podcast host, and former member of the Amish community who shares her journey of leaving religious shame behind, healing after a toxic marriage, and learning how to reconnect with the version of herself she never got to be in her strict religious upbringing. We talk about: Growing up in the Amish culture and navigating the trauma of leaving How identity loss and people-pleasing shape women from a young age Why dating after divorce is a mirror for emotional healing Being both anxious and avoidant in love—and what that looks like in real life The subtle ways women self-abandon in relationships (even when they think they're helping) And what it means to reclaim your standards without sacrificing yourself in love If you were raised to be quiet, "good", self abandoning or repress who you are based on your religious upbringing and now you're trying to figure out how to be authentic, powerful, and free to be you - this episode is going to speak directly to your soul! 🎧 Listen now and let this conversation remind you… You don't have to perform for love. You just have to come back home to yourself. Listen to my episode on Leona's Podcast Unchained and Untamed here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/becoming-aware-of-the-unaware-with-tara/id1676547980?i=1000673009492&l Connect with Leona: Follow @schrock_leona on Instagram Follow @schrock_Leona on Tiktok Visit Harmony Home Organization to learn more about Leona Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community <a href= "https://s

What if the way you've been showing up in relationships wasn't your fault but it was your responsibility to change? In this powerful case study, Shawn, a men-ber of the Healthy Men-tality program, shares how his fear of abandonment and ADHD led to intense relationship dynamics, shame, and people-pleasing. But through the program, he started healing the root issues… not just the surface symptoms. Inside this episode, we explore: What fear of abandonment really looks like in relationships How ADHD masked as "laziness" and shaped his beliefs about worth Why breathwork changed everything—even though he thought it was BS The difference between shame and accountability How showing up with integrity shifted how he dates now Why he's no longer future-faking or seeking validation Whether you've been called "too much" in love, struggle to stay present, or overthink your way out of connection… this episode is a must-listen!  AND MEN - if you're ready to start doing the work to radically transform your relationships (including the one with yourself!) applications for the next round of the Healthy Men-tality program are now available at: www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen  Click the link to apply and schedule a time to chat and see if this program is the next right step for you! Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok  Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara <span

He couldn't eat. He couldn't sleep. His wife had left, moved on, and was still emotionally entangled with him—while dating someone new. And Chris? He was stuck. In this powerful case study episode, I interview Chris, a former firefighter and Healthy Men-tality Graduate,  about his journey through a heartbreaking ending of his 10 year marriage, the subsequent emotional collapse, nervous system dysregulation, and the slow climb toward healing, peace, and purpose. You'll hear: Why traditional therapy wasn't enough to help him move forward How breathwork helped him remember childhood trauma he'd blocked out What boundaries finally set him free from his ex-wife's emotional grip The difference between surviving and living again after betrayal The exact moment Chris said "I feel hope again" If you've ever felt lost after a breakup or divorce, like your nervous system is hijacking your healing, or like you have no idea how to rebuild your life - this episode will feel very relatable. MEN! If you're done pretending you're fine and ready to actually feel like yourself again - the Healthy Men-tality program  is the container that will change your life and put you back in the driver's seat Applications for the next round of this program are open NOW - we kick off next month! https://www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen  Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok  Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download</

You ever feel like you're the one who gets it emotionally, but still can't stop chasing people who aren't good for you? In this listener Q&A episode, I answer real questions from women and men navigating heartbreak, avoidance, divorce guilt, and that all-too-familiar spiral of "why do I keep doing this?" You'll hear coaching around: Why your body craves people who are bad for you (even when your brain knows better) What to do when you're drowning in guilt after leaving your marriage How to stop using casual sex as a substitute for connection What it actually means when calm feels boring and chaos feels like love The sneaky self-sabotage of dating emotionally unavailable people And how to stop punishing yourself for choosing peace This episode is packed with nervous system insight, real-life client reflections, and hard truths delivered with heart. If you're ready to stop repeating the same patterns in dating and start leading yourself differently in love, listen in. Want to be coached on the podcast (for Free!) or submit a question about what you're going through? Go to unblockyourbs.com/podcast MEN! Ready to regulate, lead, and love differently? We kick off the next round of the Healthy Men-tality program next month! Learn more at unblockyourbs.com/healthymen 📥 Download the FREE 5-Minute Breathwork Audio HERE Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit <a href

This isn't a before-and-after story. This is the during. The messy middle. The part where healing actually happens. In today's episode, I sit down with Elizabeth, a member of my Self Aware Army, who found herself in a season of overwhelming loss, burnout, and grief from losing several loved ones in a very short period of time… and decided to do something radically brave when she had lost all hope: she chose herself. Inside, they talk about: What it's like to lose your family, marriage, and sense of self all at once Why traditional therapy gave her insight, but somatic work gave her freedom How coaching helped her take the mask off and finally feel safe again to be seen and heard The sneaky grip of people-pleasing and codependency and what letting go of limiting beliefs actually looks like Why nervous system healing accelerates change in ways mindset or therapy alone never could Elizabeth's story is heartbreaking and an honest invitation to reflect on your own patterns to how they are blocking you from feeling hopeful, grounded and excited about what's to come… and I'm betting she'll inspire the hell out of you while doing it. 🎧 Listen now, then ask yourself: What if you gave yourself permission to be happy, too? 👉 Join us inside the Self Aware Army at unblockyourbs.com/saa If you'd like to join the LIVE Swipe Right, Not Wrong Masterclass I'm co-hosting with dating and relationship Coach, Kayle Ersek, on July 18th - check out all the details and save your spot here: www.unblockyourbs.com/swipe Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Get on the Healthy Men-tality Waitlist <a href= "https://unblockyourbs.lpages.

If you're a man (or in relationship with a man) who shuts down, spirals with intrusive thoughts of not feeling like enough, or suddenly you're seeking attention and validation from everyone else except your partner - this episode is for you. In today's deep, raw, and practical conversation, I sit down with Men's Coach  Jim Vance of The Conscious Man to talk about why so many men struggle in love, hide in shame, and feel completely unequipped to relate emotionally - not just perform or provide. We unpack: Why men often confuse anger for the only "safe" emotion How to spot nervous system trauma in masculine shutdowns The real reason men ghost, numb out, or chase validation Why most men can't receive love (and how to fix that) What it takes to build a power couple dynamic… without resentment This one's for anyone looking to understand the masculine - whether in yourself, your partner, your father, or your son. And it's packed with wisdom, heart, and actual tools you can use today. Connect with Jim: Follow @the.conscious.man on Instagram Follow @the.conscious.man on Tik Tok  Listen to "The Masculine Code Podcast" Listen to Jim and Jocelyn Vance's "AdVANCE Your Life" Podcast Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok  Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara <a hr

If your dating and relationship life feels like one long loop of situationships, betrayals, or emotional neglect… this episode is for you. I pull zero punches in this solo truth-sesh that unpacks: Why your nervous system is choosing familiarity over fulfillment How projection and past pain create toxic dating patterns The myth of "all men" or "all women" being the problem Why shame isn't the same as taking responsibility What to do when your brain keeps Googling reasons you're unlovable This isn't about blame or this ridiculous social media Gender War culture we find ourselves in -  it's about liberation through self-awareness. If you want to break the cycle, reclaim your power, and stop repeating the same heartbreak with a different face…  you can start here. Join the Self Aware Army for somatic tools, coaching, and real support in doing the deep work that's more effective than sitting in a therapy office and trying to logic your feelings for the next 6 months: www.unblockyourbs.com/saa Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok  Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Get on the Healthy Men-tality Waitlist Submit a question for an up

This episode is the self aware dating collab the internet needed: Tara and Kayle Ersek (of The Dating Collective) team up for an emotionally intelligent, no-BS look at modern dating through a nervous system lens. Whether you've been ghosted, breadcrumbed, stuck in a situationship or are wondering why your "good on paper" matches never lead to real intimacy - this episode is going to hit home! They talk about the real reason you're attracting emotionally unavailable people (spoiler: it's deeper than your profile pic), why being "picky" might be protection, and how to rewire your nervous system to stop chasing chaos and start choosing connection. We also cover: First-date mistakes and how to filter, not perform How shame keeps you settling and sabotaging The identity shift of no longer needing to be the savior or the saved How to flirt without abandoning your boundaries Why emotionally safe love often feels... boring at first How healing changes who you're even attracted to If you've ever felt like dating is a broken game that you never seem to win at … this conversation will help you stop playing it and start creating something real. Connect with Kayle: Follow Kayle on TikTok: @thedatingcollective Follow Kayle on Instagram: @kayletdc Check out his Secure Love Blueprint Program at https://stan.store/thedatingcollective Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Get on the Healthy Men-tality Waitlist Submit a

You don't need a new job, a new relationship, or a 10-step morning routine to change your life. You just need to understand how your brain actually works. In this quick solo episode, I'm breaking down the exact 5-step process that explains why you do what you do and how to finally feel more in control of your thoughts, emotions, and reactions. Whether you're constantly people-pleasing, shutting down in conflict, or wondering why the hell you keep spiraling into anxiety, this episode will give you a roadmap to shift the pattern… without needing anyone else to change first. What You'll Learn: The 5-step process your brain follows before any behavior Why your nervous system always chooses survival over happiness How to stop reacting from old trauma and start creating new patterns Three things you can control (and two you can't) in any situation Want support applying this in real life? Book a 1:1 coaching session or grab my Nervous System Reset Toolkit for 20% off just for being a listener to learn how to rewire from the inside out. → http://www.unblockyourbs.com/toolkit and use code "PODCAST" at checkout to get your 20% off listener discount!   Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok  Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Get on the Healthy Men-tality Waitlist</

If dating feels like a dumpster fire… you're not alone. But what if it's not the apps, the avoidants, or your bad luck? What if the way you're dating is still rooted in who you had to be, not who you are now? In this raw and expansive conversation, Tara sits down with dating coach Kam Berard to unpack why modern dating often feels so disheartening—and how to reconnect with your self-worth, standards, and curiosity in the process. They dive into: The truth about dating after divorce (and how to get back out there without losing yourself) Why your dating profile is your emotional marketing strategy How to shift from chasing validation to choosing aligned connections The power of self-trust and community in healing after heartbreak What polyamory actually is (beyond swinging or open relationships) How to let your needs evolve and create space for nontraditional love This one's for the self-aware folks who are tired of repeating the same patterns in love—and ready to date like the version of you you're becoming. Learn more about Kam at https://www.revdating.com or follow Kam on IG: @relish.every.vibe   Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok  Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download <li

In this raw and real coaching session, I sit down with podcast listener Marissa, who's exhausted by dating, tired of always giving more in relationships, and wondering why the "right" guys keep fading away. She's done with breadcrumbing. Fed up with chasing clarity. And deeply craving a relationship where love and effort go both ways. Together, we unpack: What happens when you attract men who mirror your old wounds The difference between standards and fear-based filters Why "empathy without boundaries" is draining you How dating patterns trace back to childhood emotional neglect And why your nervous system is trying to protect you with clinginess If you're overgiving, overanalyzing, and over it—this one will hit home. 🎧 Plus, we talk about real next steps to regulate your nervous system, set healthy boundaries, and start creating a life that feels good—with or without a partner. ⚠️ NEW TOOL RELEASED! Because after hundreds of DMs from people saying things like: "I shut down mid-convo and can't explain why…" "I know I'm people-pleasing but I can't stop it in the moment…" "I spiral and regret what I say—or I say nothing at all…" I realized we don't need more mindset hacks. We don't need another hour-long therapy session to talk about what already happened. We need tools to regulate in the moment it's happening—when your nervous system is screaming "this isn't safe," and you either shut down, lash out, or fawn your way out of your truth. That's why I created the Nervous System Reset Toolkit. It's for the version of you that knows better—but can't do better, because your body is still in survival mode. Whether that's fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. Inside, you'll get: Short, soothing audios for each nervous system state—tools to help you reset in real time A script library so you can speak your truth in conflict—without spiraling or ghosting Deep-dive journal prompts to unpack your patterns with compassion My favorite: the Back to Bed Blueprint for 2AM anxiety spirals And a bonus 15-min pep talk called "Should I Stay or Go?"—for when clarity feels far away but your nervous system is screaming If you're ready