Suburban Black Girl Podcast

In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are breaking down something that a lot of high achieving women have felt but could never fully name. You can be the most confident, accomplished, successful woman in the room and still not believe you deserve the things you have built. That is the difference between self-esteem and self-worth. And in this episode they get deeply personal about where that gap comes from and what closing it actually looks like. We got into:• The real difference between self-esteem and self-worth and why you can have one without the other• Why high achieving women often have the highest self-esteem and the lowest self-worth at the same time• How achieving becomes the substitute for worth and what happens when the wins stop coming• Blake asking herself what a less qualified white man would ask for in a salary negotiation and doing it anyway• How toxic relationships and corporate environments both slowly rewrite how you see yourself• Ashlyn opening up about a toxic relationship that took years to recover from and the stool that got moved• Why your blessings are sometimes blocked by the dead weight you haven't let go of yet• The mantra Blake gave herself in January that reframed everything Mantra Moment: I am worthy not because of what I do but because of who I am. The work is closing that gap. If this resonated drop a comment and let us know if you have ever realized you were confident on the outside but still accepting less than you deserved.📩 Email us: [email protected]📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are getting into something deeply personal and rarely talked about. The dating insecurities that come from growing up invisible. They talk about what happens when you grow up as a Black girl in predominantly white spaces, how not feeling chosen early on shapes your confidence, your standards, and your entire approach to love and dating as an adult. We got into:• How growing up without early romantic attention creates patterns you carry into adult dating• Why Blake and Ashlyn both overperformed to earn love instead of knowing they were worthy just for existing• Why dating is not encouraged for Black girls the way it is for their white counterparts and how that gap shows up later• The painful experience of having parents who called you beautiful but a world outside that invalidated it• Being dared to be asked out as a joke and not even knowing it at the time• Why comparison is the biggest thief and how to protect your timeline when everyone around you seems ahead• What Blake and Ashlyn would tell their younger selves and the message they want every invisible girl to hear Mantra Moment: Growing up invisible doesn't mean you were unworthy. It means the environment didn't reflect your value back to you. If this episode resonated drop a comment and tell us one thing you wish someone had told you when you were growing up and feeling unseen.📩 Email us: [email protected]📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

In this episode we are getting into something that a lot of women have experienced but not always been able to name. Dating the potential rich man. What happens when you believe in someone so much that you start abandoning your own timeline to help them stay on track with theirs? When does patience become emotional labor? And at what point do you have to look yourself in the eye and say this potential is not actualizing? We got into:• Why women stay too long in relationships with potential and how it becomes self abandonment without you even realizing it• The difference between supporting someone and actually carrying them• When consistency is the real measure of progress and what stalled ambition actually looks like• Why society praises women for staying through cheating and hardship but shames them for walking away• The moment you realize you thought you were showing grace but you were abandoning your own needs• Why the keep a man conversation is never directed at men and what that man is doing to keep you• What a healthy dynamic actually looks like when both people are contributing and building together Mantra Moment: Potential is not a promise. Consistency is. Real partnership is built on patterns and not projections. If this resonated drop a comment and let us know if you have ever realized you were investing in someone's future more than they were investing in their own present.📩 Email us: [email protected]📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

In this episode we sat down with Erica, The Confidence Coach (@theconfidencecoach), for a conversation that had us taking notes from start to finish. Erica is a mindset coach dedicated to helping women build self worth, set boundaries, and show up as their most confident selves. And she did not hold back.We got into:• The difference between being loved and being needed and why real love feels like exhale energy• Why calling yourself low maintenance is actually inviting low effort love• How to stop giving up your autonomy just because you like somebody• Why Black women feel so guilty for choosing themselves and where that guilt actually comes from• What survival mode actually looks like and how to recognize it in your own life• What healthy self obsession really means and why it doesn't have to be healthy• How to build and protect your routine in a relationship so you don't lose yourself• The difference between guilt and discomfort when you say no• Why confidence is curated daily and not something you wake up withMantra Moment: Do it uncertain. Do it scared. Do it imperfect. There is no such thing as the right time. The right time is right now. — Erica (@theconfidencecoach)If this episode resonated drop a comment and let us know which part of Erica's message hit home for you.📩 Email us: [email protected]📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are getting into something every woman can relate to but Black women feel on a whole other level. Why do we spend $500 on beauty without blinking but feel guilty spending money on anything else? From hair as mental health to corporate America's beauty expectations, to the moment you realize marketing has been manipulating you the whole time, this one hits. We got into:• Why beauty spending feels like a necessity and not a luxury for Black women• How our hair and appearance directly affect our mental health and confidence• Navigating corporate spaces as a Black woman and why keeping your hair done is armor• The coworker who asks if everything is okay the moment your hair isn't laid• The unsolicited natural hair compliments and why we are over the small talk• Whether beauty spending is about results or peace of mind• How working in beauty and marketing changes the way you shop forever• At what point beauty maintenance shifts from enjoyment to full obligation• The tension between not wanting to dress up for a man and realizing you have to be what you want to attractIf this episode resonated, drop a comment and let us know what beauty expense you refuse to feel guilty about.📩 Email us: [email protected]📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

In this episode we are getting into the money talk nobody actually wants to have about dating. We are talking about financial expectations, effort and intention, and whether the real issue is men being under prepared or women raising their standards as they level up. We also get into the transactional nature of all relationships, why equally yoked has to mean more than just financially, and whether high standards are really entitlement or just incompatibility.We got into:• Whether dating standards have actually increased or women are just finally being honest• The question every financially independent woman is asking: can you do for me what I do for myself?• Why relationships are transactional and why pretending they aren't is how you end up pouring into the wrong person• The TikTok story about the non-refundable flight, the nails, and why people got it wrong• Why money on a dinner date is the easiest flex and not a real measure of compatibility• The gap between how women show up for their friends versus how men show up in relationships• Whether men are financially inadequate or just resistant to showing up for women they don't value✨Mantra Moment: Standards are not a price tag. They are a reflection of values.If this resonated, drop a comment and let us know if you've ever realized you weren't asking for too much, you were just asking the wrong person.📩 Email us: ⁠[email protected]⁠📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

In this episode, we sat down with Asya, content creator and founder behind @conqueringasya, to talk about what it really looks like to build a platform as a Black woman in beauty and lifestyle. From navigating double standards with brand deals to unlearning the strong Black woman role in her relationship, Asya kept it real from start to finish.We got into:• How Asya started creating content in 2017 with a JC Penney credit card and Fenty Beauty• Navigating beauty standards and double standards in brand partnerships as a Black woman• Why code switching followed her from corporate America into content creation• What it took to unlearn being the strong one and let her partner lead• Living with PCOS and showing up on camera authentically anyway• The friendship losses that came with leveling up and leaving certain chapters behind• Why she shares on her own terms and how she protects her peace online• What she tells anyone who wants to pursue content creation full timeMantra Moment: "Conquer life's adversities that come at you. Don't crumble underneath the pressure." — Asya (@conqueringasya)If this episode resonated, drop a comment and let us know which part of Aysa's story hit home for you.📩 Email us: ⁠[email protected]⁠📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn get real about something nobody talks about enough.What happens when you actually get what you worked for and it just feels... flat.We talk about the anticlimactic feeling that comes after achieving a goal, why the chase can feel better than the arrival, and how we have both struggled to sit in wins without immediately moving the goalpost.We got into:• Why reaching a milestone can feel like a crash instead of a celebration• The difference between gratitude and complacency and why we confuse them• How success can become a way of avoiding healing• External validation versus internal fulfillment and which one actually lasts• Burnout, being overworked, and what capable does not mean willing really looks like• What the younger version of you would think looking at where you are now• How to actually celebrate yourself before you move on to the next thingMantra Moment: "Achieving a goal doesn't automatically create meaning or wholeness. Fulfillment often comes from how we live between milestones, not from the milestones themselves. Success is a moment, not an identity."If this episode resonated, drop a comment and let us know if you've ever felt this way after reaching a big goal.📩 Email us: [email protected]📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

In this episode, we sat down with Caitlyn Kumi, Forbes 30 Under 30 honoree, founder of Miss Empower Her, and content creator, to talk about building a career, a personal brand, and a full life as an ambitious Black woman. We got into: • Why protecting your peace can sometimes mean you stop seeing red flags • The kind of corporate feedback Black women know all too well • Why your personal brand can carry more weight than your resume • Dating as a successful Black woman and the mindset shift that actually helps • Her take on true balance and why something always has to fall • Pattern recognition in adult friendships and how to trust what you see • The three things every woman should be investing in right now • What it really means to become a pretty wealthy woman Mantra Moment: "People remember how you make them feel." Maya Angelou, shared by Caitlyn Kumi If this episode resonated, drop a comment and let us know which part hit hardest. 📩 Email us: [email protected] 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

In this episode, we’re talking about one of the biggest gray areas in modern dating: taking things slow. Is it emotional maturity and healthy pacing, or is it just avoidance dressed up as self awareness? We unpack the difference between intentional slowness and prolonged confusion, why so many people benefit from undefined timelines, and how easy it is to get stuck in situationships that look deep but never actually move forward.We also get into:• How to tell the difference between healthy pacing and emotional avoidance • Why no title often means no accountability • Why some people want access without offering commitment • How ego can keep you stuck trying to be chosen • Why women need boundaries more than repeated conversations • Love bombing, future faking, and men showing up as their representative • Why taking things slow can sometimes be about emotional safety and literal safety✨ Mantra Moment: Moving with intention doesn’t require rushing, but it does require honesty. Emotional safety should create clarity, not confusion or prolonged uncertainty.If this episode hit home, let us know in the comments what your experience has been with “taking it slow” in dating.📩 Email us: [email protected] 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

In this episode we’re talking about feminine energy and the pressure women feel to stay soft even when the relationship dynamic doesn’t feel supportive. We unpack why survival mode changes how women show up in relationships and how quickly attraction shifts when partnership starts feeling like parenting.What we discuss:• Why feminine energy feels impossible without safety • The survival mode many women experience in relationships • Why mothering a partner kills attraction • The difference between softness and vulnerability • Why indecisiveness feels like lack of leadership • The emotional labor tied to cohabitation • Social media’s role in shaping feminine and masculine expectations✨ Mantra Moment: Softness emerges when there is safety, consistency and direction. It's not something women owe, it's something that's invited.📩 Email us: [email protected]📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

What happens when one person has done the work and the other hasn't even started? This week we're getting into a conversation that so many women are having behind closed doors but not enough people are saying out loud. In this episode we talk about: • Why survival mode shows up in dating and kills emotional intimacy • The difference between being a supportive partner and mothering a grown man • How struggle love culture removes accountability from men and puts pressure on women • What it actually feels like to be hypervigilant in a relationship and how it affects your health • Why your body always remembers even when your heart wants to forgive • Whether requiring therapy is a boundary or unrealistic • How some men weaponize therapy language instead of actually doing the work • The role mothers play in holding or not holding their sons accountable • Why more women are choosing to be single and why that's perfectly okay This episode is for every woman who has ever questioned whether she was asking for too much. Spoiler: you're not. ✨ Mantra Moment: Love should not require you to heal someone else. Black women should be allowed to choose someone who is actively doing the same work that they are and not be guilted for it. Growing up in survival mode can absolutely explain behavior, but what are you doing about it? 📩 Email us: [email protected] 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

In this episode, we’re talking about a season that does not get glamorized enough: the lonely in-between. What happens when life gets calmer, but your circle gets smaller? When you start choosing peace, setting boundaries, and outgrowing chaos… but the new version of your life has not fully formed yet? We talk about the difference between intentional isolation and loneliness, why peace can sometimes feel unfamiliar, and how outgrowing dysfunction often means leaving behind people, patterns, and environments that once felt normal. We also get into: • Why choosing peace can come with a sense of isolation•The difference between being alone and simply lacking alignment • Why some friendships and relationships were built on chaos, gossip, or dysfunction • How boundaries expose who was only attached to the old version of you• Why quality matters more than quantity in relationships • Rebuilding connection after you outgrow old environments• Why your desire for companionship should never be stronger than your self worth• Learning how to sit with yourself, reflect, and regulate before inviting in new connections .This episode is for anyone in that strange in-between season where you know you cannot go back, but your next chapter has not fully arrived yet. ✨ Mantra Moment: Outgrowing chaos often means leaving familiar dynamics before new ones fully form. That in-between space can feel lonely, but it is also where clarity and self trust deepen. If this resonates, let us know in the comments how you are navigating your own lonely season.

In this episode, we unpack a question that hits deeper than people admit:Is outgrowing people a natural part of adulthood… or a failure of loyalty?As you evolve, set boundaries, and prioritize alignment, not everyone can come with you. And when you start choosing growth, people don’t always call it evolution they call it selfish, disloyal, or “you’ve changed.”We talk about the difference between love and compatibility, why some relationships can’t end peacefully, and how accusations of abandonment often show up the moment you stop overextending yourself.We also dive into:• Why growth feels like betrayal to people who benefited from the old version of you • The difference between loyalty and access • Why some breakups and friendships can’t end with closure • When silent exits are healthier than dramatic conversations • How to know when alignment is gone even if love is still there • Why we’re taught to prioritize history over health • Codependency, boundaries, and being “the dependable one” • Letting go of the “what if” mindset in dating • Why abundance thinking makes detachment easierGrowth changes relationships not because love disappears, but because alignment does.If you’ve ever felt guilty for evolving, distancing yourself, or choosing peace over familiarity, this conversation is for you.✨ Mantra Moment: Growth changes relationships not because love disappears, but because alignment does.Subscribe for weekly conversations about identity, dating, growth, boundaries, and navigating adulthood as multifaceted Black women.

In this episode, we’re asking a question that might make people uncomfortable: Do Black women from stable homes get dismissed, doubted, or overlooked because they don’t have a dramatic struggle story?We unpack the unspoken expectation that pain equals credibility and trauma equals depth. We talk about how growing up in a healthy environment can sometimes make you feel like you have to downplay your stability, exaggerate hardship, or prove your “realness” in rooms that romanticize struggle.We Cover:• Why struggle stories are often treated as currency• The pressure to perform trauma to be taken seriously• How social media and hustle culture glorify “getting it out the mud”• Survivor’s guilt and feeling “not Black enough” or “not relatable enough”• Why stability is not a weakness and peace is not privilegeWe also discuss the difference between acknowledging systemic barriers and turning trauma into identity, and why both narratives deserve nuance.✨ Mantra Moment: You don’t have to suffer to be worthy of understanding.” Stability doesn’t erase complexity, and peace doesn’t mean someone hasn’t done inner work. Your experiences are valid even if they don’t fit a survival-based narrative.This conversation is for anyone who has ever felt like their story wasn’t dramatic enough to matter, or like they had to justify their success because it wasn’t born from chaos.Let’s talk about it.

In this episode, we unpack why choosing peace can feel less impressive than chasing ambition, especially in a culture that glorifies burnout, busy schedules, and visible success.We talk about hustle culture, the pressure to always be “doing something,” and why rest can feel like falling behind, even when your life actually feels better.We also get real about identity, boundaries, and how overachieving can quietly disconnect you from yourself.We Cover:• Why ambition is visible but peace isn’t • How hustle culture makes exhaustion look admirable • Choosing remote work, flexibility, or slower growth without shame • Why calm can feel threatening when you’re used to chaos • The identity crisis that can happen when you’re not “achieving” or helping • Boundaries, alignment, and redefining success on your own terms • Why peace can feel lonely and why that doesn’t mean it’s wrong✨ Mantra Moment: Peace is not the absence of ambition. It’s the presence of alignment.If you’ve ever felt guilty for resting, questioned your pace, or wondered whether you’re choosing growth or just chasing approval this one is for you.

In this episode, we’re getting into why women’s confidence gets mislabeled as “ego” and how that label quietly pressures us to shrink, soften, and apologize for simply knowing who we are.We talk about how insecurity shows up as projection, why confident people aren’t threatened by other confident people, and why “humility” is sometimes just code for likability and compliance.We cover:Why confidence is celebrated in men but questioned in womenHow “being chosen” conditioning (Disney, Bridgerton, the whole plot 😭) shapes how women moveThe “bean soup theory” + why strangers feel entitled to a vote on your lifeWhere the line is between confidence vs. cockiness (and why putting people down isn’t confidence)How this shows up at work: code-switching, tone policing, and trying to be “unproblematic”How it shows up in friendships: dimming your light, hesitating to share wins, and keeping the peaceHow it shows up in dating: hiding your lifestyle, shrinking your dreams, and choosing yourself anywayWhy therapy helps you stop taking random opinions personallyWhat actually boosts confidence (workouts, skincare, mental health, money, wisdom, hormones, vitamin D, reading)✨Mantra Moment:Confidence isn’t ego — it’s clarity. Knowing who you are doesn’t require permission, and shrinking yourself to make others comfortable is not humility.If you’ve ever been called “intimidating,” “bougie,” or “unapproachable” just for existing… this one’s for you.

In this episode, we explore what happens when healing starts to disrupt old dynamics especially with people who were most comfortable when you stayed quiet, over-explained, or made yourself smaller for the sake of peace. We talk about the difference between being self-aware and being emotionally regulated, why insight alone doesn’t equal growth, and how healing can feel uncomfortable not just for you, but for the people around you. Because growth doesn’t always look soft or agreeable and it often changes how you show up in relationships, friendships, and work. We get into how understanding your trauma isn’t the same as changing your behavior, why healing often shows up through boundaries instead of explanations, and what it really means when people say “you’ve changed.” We also unpack why being triggered doesn’t mean you haven’t healed, and how growth can leave you feeling misunderstood, labeled as “different,” or less accessible than before. This conversation is for anyone who feels like healing has made relationships harder, not easierand who is learning that growth sometimes costs access, familiarity, and approval. ✨ Mantra Moment: Healing isn’t about being able to explain your past. It’s about how you respond in the present. If you’ve ever felt like your growth made you less convenient, less agreeable, or less tolerable to certain people, this episode is for you.

As we heal, we change.And not everyone benefits from that change.In this episode, we explore what happens when healing starts to disrupt old dynamics especially with people who were comfortable when you stayed quiet, over-explained, or made yourself smaller for the sake of peace.We talk about the difference between being self-aware and being emotionally regulated, why insight alone doesn’t equal growth, and how healing can feel uncomfortable not just for you, but for the people around you.We Cover:The difference between understanding your trauma and actually changing your behaviorWhy healing often shows up through boundaries, not explanationsHow being triggered doesn’t mean you haven’t healedWhy growth can make you feel misunderstood or labeled as “different”Letting go of the need to intellectualize pain instead of feeling itWhat it means when people say “you’ve changed”Choosing regulation and self-protection over people-pleasingThis conversation is for anyone who feels like healing has made relationships harder, not easier and who is learning that growth sometimes costs access, familiarity, and approval.✨ Mantra Moment:Healing isn’t about being able to explain your past. It’s about how you respond in the present.If you’ve ever felt like your growth made you less convenient, less agreeable, or less tolerable to certain people, this episode is for you.

In friendships, honesty is often framed as conflict and silence is framed as maturity. But what happens when keeping the peace starts to cost you emotional safety, self trust, and real connection? In this episode, we unpack the difference between healthy sisterhood and relationships that rely on you staying quiet. We talk about why growth is often labeled as “you’ve changed,” how boundaries get misinterpreted as distance or attitude, and why honesty is not the same thing as being unkind. We talk about: Why avoiding hard conversations doesn’t actually protect friendships How people respond when you’re no longer as accessible as you once were The difference between loyalty and self abandonment Why emotional safety matters more than unconditional agreement What it means to outgrow relationships rooted in silence Grieving friendships that only worked when you stayed quiet Learning how to tell the truth without shrinking yourself This is an honest conversation about growth, communication, and redefining what real sisterhood actually looks like. ✨ Mantra Moment: Healing doesn’t remove your kindness. It removes your silence. If you’ve ever been told you’ve changed when all you did was start speaking up, this episode is for you.

As Black women, we’re often praised for being strong, capable, and independent ,but at what cost? In this episode, we unpack the difference between healthy independence and emotional self-protection, and how constantly being “the one who’s got it” can quietly turn into isolation, burnout, and emotional guarding. We talk about: How independence is instilled in Black women from a young age Why being capable isn’t the same as being emotionally open The fear of asking for help and the disappointment that follows when help doesn’t come When independence blocks deeper relationships and support Learning to be the “damsel in distress” without shame Boundaries, burnout, and why it’s not your job to regulate other people’s emotions Sitting with yourself, regulating emotions, and building self-trust without isolating This is an honest conversation about vulnerability, self-sufficiency, and learning when strength looks like letting someone show up for you. ✨ Mantra Moment: You don’t have to prove you’re strong by doing everything alone. Strength can look like allowing support. If you’ve ever felt proud of your independence but secretly tired of carrying everything by yourself this episode is for you.

As we close out the year, we’re taking a moment to reflect honestly. In this episode, we look back on 2025: the wins we’re proud of, the lessons that humbled us, and the growth that didn’t always come the way we expected.We talk about adjusting to constant change, navigating burnout, learning when to pivot, and what it really means to keep showing up for yourself even when life feels heavy.We get into:Why 2025 felt unpredictable, busy, and emotionally demanding.Career growth, burnout, and learning to say noRelationships, perspective shifts, and being humbled in loveTherapy, boundaries, and choosing yourself without guiltWhy success takes time and why delayed blessings often last longerLetting go of environments and people that no longer serve youSetting intentions for 2026 rooted in peace, purpose, and self-trustThis episode is a reminder that growth doesn’t always look pretty sometimes it looks like adjusting, reassessing, and trusting yourself enough to keep going anyway.✨ Mantra Moment:I honor the woman I was, celebrate the woman I am, and trust the woman I’m becoming.If 2025 challenged you in ways you didn’t expect, this conversation is for you.

What if the way you want to be loved isn’t the same anymore — and that’s actually a sign of growth? In this episode, we’re talking about love languages through the lens of healing. How what you needed years ago isn’t necessarily what you need now. How acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, and even physical touch can feel completely different depending on the season of life you’re in. We get into: Why love languages shift as you heal Wanting less validation and more peace Feeling overstimulated, “out-touched,” and needing space without guilt How childhood and past relationships shape how we receive love Learning to give yourself the love you’ve been asking for from others This is a soft but honest conversation about emotional maturity, self-awareness, and being brave enough to admit your needs have changed. Because healing doesn’t make you harder to love — it makes you clearer about how you deserve to be loved. ✨ Mantra Moment: Love becomes softer, safer, and more sacred when it’s spoken in my language.

No one tells you that adulthood is mostly improvisation. In this episode of Suburban Black Girl, we get real about the adult problems nobody warned us about — from realizing corporate America isn’t glamorous, to navigating money stress, loneliness, career misalignment, and the emotional labor of being “the empathetic one.” We talk about: Why adulting feels like one long group project nobody prepared us for The financial realities school never taught us (credit, investing, budgeting, and impulse spending) How loneliness hits differently after college The myth of the “dream job” and why work doesn’t always align with purpose Learning when to pivot instead of staying stuck Setting boundaries, losing people, and choosing yourself anyway Why being “too empathetic” can actually mean abandoning yourself This episode is for anyone who’s ever thought: “Is everyone else just winging it too?” Because the truth is , they are. ✨ Mantra Moment: I release the pressure to be everything for everyone except me. Tune in for laughs, hard truths, and the kind of conversations that make adulthood feel a little less lonely. 🎙️ New episodes every week. 📲 Follow us @suburbanblackgirlpod 💬 Rate, review, and share with someone who’s figuring it out too.

In this episode, we’re keeping it lighthearted and real as we ask the question everyone jokes about but rarely unpacks: what actually gets your Black card “revoked”? From classic Black movies we still haven’t seen, foods we don’t love, games we don’t know how to play, and music we pretend to know the lyrics to — we laugh through the moments that supposedly make us “less Black.” But beneath the jokes is a deeper conversation about identity, respectability, stereotypes, and the pressure to perform Blackness a certain way. We talk about being labeled “whitewashed,” why articulation gets confused with whiteness, how upbringing shapes culture, and why Blackness is not a checklist. Because the truth is: we are not a monolith. This week’s Mantra Moment: “Your Blackness is not up for debate. Your Black card cannot be revoked for living life authentically.” Come laugh with us and stay for the reminder that being yourself is enough.

This week, we’re diving into the viral Vogue article asking a very unserious — yet oddly triggering — question: Is having a boyfriend embarrassing? While the headline is messy on purpose, the conversation underneath it reveals something deeper about modern dating, social media culture, and the way women — especially Black women — are perceived when they choose to love out loud. We unpack the rise of the soft launch, why women protect their partners online, how evil-eye culture and embarrassment influence posting choices, and why being in a healthy relationship somehow gets clown behavior from the internet. We also explore how Black women’s love lives are policed, romanticized in struggle, or dismissed entirely — and why privacy has become its own form of luxury. From story times to girl math to navigating public opinions, we discuss independence, vulnerability, the fear of embarrassment, and the reality of dating while being a multifaceted Black woman. This week’s Mantra Moment: “Softness isn’t weakness, and privacy isn’t fear. Choose the version of love that keeps you grounded, not guarded.”

The internet will tell you that “becoming that girl” takes matcha, Pilates, a 10-step routine, and a perfectly curated life. But in this episode, we get honest about what it really takes—and why social media has the whole idea backwards. We talk about the unseen labor behind self-growth: the perfectionism, the comparison, the pressure to show up flawlessly, and the loneliness that comes with doing life on your own terms. We also unpack how the “that girl” aesthetic preys on insecurity, ignores individuality, and often masks the real work: therapy, self-awareness, emotional healing, and honoring your actual purpose. From body image to content creation to boundaries and burnout, we explore what your personal version of that girl looks like—without the pressure to perform, copy anyone else’s blueprint, or chase an aesthetic that was never meant for you. This week’s Mantra Moment: “The real glow up is internal healing. Peace and alignment will always outshine perfection. Becoming that girl isn’t about becoming her. It’s about coming home to you.

This week, we’re stepping firmly into our petty era — because the icks were icking and the irritations were real. From people coughing without covering their mouth, to morning loud-talkers, to men with center-of-attention energy, to chaotic birthday dinners and group chats that should’ve been an email… nothing was off-limits. We get into friendship pet peeves, dating red flags, coworker chaos, club culture delusion, and all the little everyday things that instantly irritate our spirit. Consider this episode your safe space to admit the things that shouldn’t bother you… but absolutely do. If you’ve ever lifted your shirt over your face in public, muted a group chat before the first message even sent, or rolled your eyes at a random “wyd”… this one’s for you.

In this week’s episode, we unpack what success really looks like for Black women and how often it comes with invisible pressure, perfectionism, and the constant need to overachieve. From corporate America to childhood expectations, we reflect on the moments that shaped our hustle, the burnout that followed, and the healing work it took to redefine success on our own terms. We also talk about comparison culture, guilt around resting, breaking the cycle of grind mentality, and why freedom financial, emotional, and mental is becoming our new definition of “making it.” If you’ve ever felt like you’re not doing enough, even when you’re doing the absolute most… this episode is for you. This week’s Mantra Moment: “My success doesn't have to be loud to be real. My peace, my purpose, and my joy are proof enough.” A reminder that your wins don’t need an audience to matter.

In part two of our one-year anniversary celebration, we sit down with our best friends for an open and emotional conversation about identity, belonging, and what it really means to feel “Black enough.” From being adopted by two white moms in a small Pennsylvania town to growing up as the youngest of eleven in Houston, our friends share their stories of family, culture, and self-discovery. We talk about navigating Blackness through different upbringings, breaking generational patterns, and how friendship and therapy have helped us all embrace who we are inside and out.(Part 2 of our anniversary series — catch Part 1 for how these friendships began!)

We’re celebrating sisterhood, growth, and a full year of The Suburban Black Girl Podcast with the women who know us best our best friends. From college memories and fake IDs to growing into healed, confident women, this episode is equal parts laughter, love, and reflection. We talk about what it really takes to maintain adult friendships, how we’ve supported each other through every version of ourselves, and why showing up for your girls is sacred. Expect unfiltered stories, a few chaotic moments, and a whole lot of heart because real friendship is the ultimate love story.

This week on The Suburban Black Girl Podcast, we’re unpacking what it really means to “do it all.” From the generational roots of the Superwoman complex to the pressure of having to be strong, successful, and soft all at once, we explore the emotional reality behind the phrase “Black women make it look easy.” We talk about masking emotions, redefining strength, and unlearning the idea that rest and softness must be earned. From corporate rooms to personal relationships, this conversation gets real about what it takes to hold so much and why it’s okay to finally put some of it down. Mantra Moments: 💭 “You don’t have to earn rest, softness, or peace. You already deserve it.” 💭 “Your worth is not determined by your productivity — you were never meant to carry the world, only your purpose.”

This week on The Suburban Black Girl Podcast, we’re joined by the incomparable La’Torria Lemon — publicist, entrepreneur, and star of Heart & Hustle on OWN Network. As the founder of Lemon Limelight Media, La’Torria has built an empire rooted in authenticity, hard work, and heart. She opens up about navigating grief, faith, and purpose while breaking barriers in entertainment PR. From working with legends like Beyoncé and Jamie Foxx to learning the power of saying no, La’Torria shares what it truly means to stand tall, stay grounded, and protect your peace while chasing your dreams.

We’re closing out The Dilemma of a Woman in Her 30s series with the topic everyone’s been waiting for — love. From emotional maturity to self-awareness and everything in between, we’re unpacking how dating shifts once you truly know yourself. We talk about avoiding situationships, spinning the block, and recognizing that peace will always compete with love and often win. From the hard lessons of our 20s to the softer standards of our 30s, this conversation is all about choosing love from a healed, whole, and grounded place. Mantra Moment: Love after 30 hits different because now, you’re choosing from wholeness, not loneliness.

In part three of The Dilemma of a Woman in Her 30s series, we’re stepping into our “Becoming Her” era the version of you that’s grounded, healed, and unapologetically evolving. This episode dives into what it really means to grow into yourself: defining your identity beyond your career or relationship, embracing softness and strength, and learning to love who you’re becoming flaws and all. We talk about therapy, inner work, and the constant balance between grace and growth. From unlearning toxic family patterns to feeling more confident in our 30s than ever before, this is a love letter to the women who are still becoming even when it’s messy. Mantra Moment: Becoming her isn’t about perfection it’s about permission. Permission to heal, to grow, to unlearn, and to show up as the woman you were always meant to be.

In part two of our Dilemma of a Woman in Her 30s series, we’re diving into the messy, motivating, and sometimes maddening world of careers. From chasing promotions and navigating corporate politics to battling burnout and questioning hustle culture, we unpack what it really feels like to be a Black woman at this stage of life. We share our own stories of advocating for raises, dealing with overwork, learning from strong mentors, and setting boundaries (yes, even on vacation). This episode explores the push and pull between ambition and peace and why choosing alignment over appearances might be the ultimate career move. Mantra Moment: Your career isn’t a straight line. It’s a journey you’re allowed to pivot, pause, and protect your peace.

In Part 1 of our new series The Dilemma of a Woman in Her 30s, we’re diving into the conversation so many women quietly carry: the ticking clock. From love and marriage to motherhood and timelines, society often tells us where we “should” be by now but what if your path looks different? We talk candidly about biological clocks, shifting desires, the stigma of being single in your 30s, and the reality of balancing freedom with the idea of family. Can you be fulfilled without kids? Is motherhood the definition of womanhood? And why are women judged more harshly than men for the same choices? This episode is about rejecting shame, embracing self-awareness, and learning to define your own timeline whether that’s marriage, kids, or living your best rich-auntie life.

This week on Suburban Black Girl, we’re reclaiming what healing really means. Too often, people assume our growth is about becoming “more dateable” or recovering from a toxic ex — but healing isn’t about proving your worth to anyone else. It’s about choosing yourself, protecting your peace, and becoming the woman you’re proud of. We open up about therapy, spirituality, and finding mentors, plus the pressure social media creates to “heal perfectly” or move on quickly. From breaking free of narcissistic partners to navigating healthy love that challenges you in new ways, we’re talking about the messy, non-linear journey of becoming whole. Mantra Moment: My healing isn’t about being chosen it’s about choosing myself.

Friendships are supposed to feel safe, supportive, and genuine but what happens when subtle red flags start to show? In this episode, we get real about the signs we’ve ignored in the past and how they show up in adulthood. From “playful shade” that cuts too deep, to one-sided emotional dumping, to friends who compete instead of clap we’re naming the patterns that quietly drain our peace. We also unpack how therapy and self-reflection have shaped the way we approach adult friendships, the guilt of outgrowing people we’ve known forever, and why protecting your peace is the ultimate boundary. Mantra Moment: A real friend doesn’t dim your light, compete with your peace, or hide behind shade. Red flags don’t turn green with time.

What does it really mean to be called “high maintenance”? In this episode of The Suburban Black Girl Podcast, we unpack the stereotypes, backhanded compliments, and insecurities tied to the label. From beauty routines to dating expectations, we ask: is it about being demanding or simply knowing what you like and being intentional about how you want to be treated?We get into:The difference between standards, boundaries, and entitlementWhy Black women are often shamed for luxury, care, and softnessHow “too much” for one person is just Tuesday for anotherThe importance of reciprocity in dating and friendshipsWhy respecting yourself sets the tone for how others treat youBecause being well-cared for by yourself or your partner isn’t “too much.” It’s self-respect. 💅🏾Mantra Moment: “You’re not asking for too much , you’re just asking the wrong person.”

Why is it that when Black women are quiet, reserved, or simply minding our business, the world rushes to call us “stuck up,” “bougie,” or “mean”? In this episode of The Suburban Black Girl Podcast, we unpack the stereotypes and labels that follow Black women who set standards, protect their energy, and refuse to perform for other people’s comfort. We get into: The difference between arrogance and discernment Why being reserved often gets mistaken for being unapproachable How society pressures Black women to always be “on” and entertaining The backlash women face for having preferences in dating, lifestyle, and friendships Why standards don’t make you difficult they just make you selective This conversation is all about embracing stillness, discernment, and self-respect without guilt. Because being selective is not an insult it’s a boundary.

In the final part of our First of Her Kind series, we’re talking about what it really means to outgrow old versions of yourself — and not shrink back down just to make others comfortable. From friendships that can’t handle your growth, to family members who only recognize the old you, this conversation is all about protecting your peace, honoring your healed self, and choosing connections that don’t require self-abandonment. We get into: - Redefining what family, friendship, and community look like now Why accountability and reciprocity matter in every relationship - The shift that happens when you stop explaining and start protecting your energy -How to know when it’s time to address something vs. quietly cut it off This episode is for anyone learning to take up space unapologetically, even when it means leaving old rooms and old versions of yourself behind.

This week on The Suburban Black Girl Podcast, we’re joined by the incredibly talented Hailey Kilgore Tony and Grammy-nominated actress, singer, and all-around powerhouse. From making her Broadway debut at 17 to starring in Power Book III: Raising Kanan and Respect, Hailey opens up about growing up as a suburban Black girl, navigating predominantly white spaces, and learning when to stop code-switching. We dive into purpose beyond career, setting boundaries, and why authenticity will always be your greatest flex. Plus, Hailey shares the parallels between acting, music, and the realities of being a multifaceted Black woman in the spotlight.

This is part 3 of our 4 part series "The First of Her Kind" This episode is for the women who dared to want more and didn’t stay quiet about it. We explore the discomfort your ambition brings to others, the envy that success can spark, and how society still polices powerful, attractive, educated Black women who won’t shrink to fit anyone’s idea of “humble.” “Society has always made room for the struggling Black woman. But an attractive, educated, healing one? Now that’s threatening.”

This week on The Suburban Black Girl Podcast, we’re continuing our “First of Her Kind” series with a conversation about what it really means to choose yourself. From ditching people-pleasing habits to setting unapologetic boundaries, we’re unpacking how putting yourself first as a Black woman is revolutionary — especially when the world expects you to shrink. We get into: The guilt of prioritizing your peace Why some people only liked the version of you with no boundaries How emotional unavailability can show up in your relationship with yourself The beauty (and backlash) of being attractive, successful, and unbothered If you’ve ever been told you’ve “changed” just because you finally started putting you first, this episode is for you.

In this episode, we’re kicking off our new series First of Her Kind—all about being the first Black woman in your family, friend group, or community to break cycles and choose a different life. From setting boundaries to choosing therapy to walking away from the 9 to 5 pipeline, this episode is for anyone who’s ever realized, “Wait… I’m the first one doing this.” We get into: How it feels to be the first to heal, rest, or move away from your hometown The discomfort of setting boundaries with family when they’re used to the “old you” Redefining success: financial freedom, flexibility, and living your life now—not at 70 How healing shifts the way you date, love, and choose romantic partners Why moving out of your comfort zone (or city!) is essential for growth The loneliness—and power—that comes with being the cycle breaker We’re talking therapy, travel, entrepreneurship, soft life, and stepping into your next level—even if it means leaving people behind.

From sharing Ubers to sharing secrets, the rules of friendship have changed — but are some still sacred? In this episode, we dive into what girl code means now in 2025. We're unpacking the unspoken boundaries, the silent betrayals, and the ways sisterhood gets complicated in adulthood. Is not showing up to the birthday dinner still a betrayal? Does time equal loyalty? And what’s the line between protecting your peace and abandoning your friend? We also get real about: Growing out of male-centered friendships Why falling out doesn’t have to mean failure Secret haters in your circle And the power of having friends who know when you’re quiet, you’re fine. It’s not about being a “girl’s girl” — it’s about being a grown woman’s friend.

Let’s be real — learning to enjoy your own company is a whole journey. In this episode, we’re talking about the real power of spending time alone, not because you have to, but because you want to. As women — especially Black women — we’re often expected to pour into everybody else. But what happens when you turn all that love, attention, and energy inward? What happens when you stop avoiding the silence and actually sit with yourself? We’re unpacking the difference between being alone and being lonely, and why solitude is one of the most underrated tools for self-awareness, creativity, emotional regulation, and peace. Whether you’re taking yourself out to brunch, journaling at home, or just laying in bed in stillness — being alone can be a whole vibe when you stop seeing it as punishment.

This week on the Suburban Black Girl Podcast, we're unpacking all the discourse around Black women, education, dating standards, and the infamous idea that we’re “least desirable.” We respond to the feedback, the hate, the stats — and the very real feelings Black women carry when it comes to love, ambition, and partnership. From online comments to cultural truths, we're clearing the air and standing in our worth.

In this episode of The Suburban Black Girl Podcast, we’re leaning into softness and self-care because beauty isn’t just about how you look, it’s about how you feel. We’re sharing our favorite skincare, makeup, and beauty tips that help us glow inside and out. This conversation blends the practical with the personal. Because for Black women especially, beauty can be both a form of self-expression and self-preservation.