New Life LIVE

Caller Questions Discussion: Dr. Jim shares a recent conversation he had with Dr. Neil Clark Warren, in which he asked, “What’s the secret to a good relationship?” He said, “You have to be flexible, and when you’re adaptable, you do better.” Dr. Jim discusses positive adaptability. Based on research by Gottman, a healthy marriage has a ratio of 5 positive interactions to 1 negative interaction. How do I convince my wife that she needs to go to counseling in order to heal? Do I drag her to counseling, or does she need to go on her own? We’ve been married 12 years and have 3 children. I feel like she’s avoiding counseling because of her childhood trauma. How do I handle giving my granddaughter money for her high school graduation? She never thanks me when I give her a gift, and I want her to understand it’s important for her to thank me. I lost my father tragically in the 1990s because he was an alcoholic and had a heart attack in the home of his mistress. I took my kids out of school and stayed away from my support group because I was filled with shame. Can you help me understand why I had so much shame?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice discusses how some of us may experience “death wishes” toward others and outlines three practical steps to take when we feel the urge to harm ourselves or wish harm on someone else. What can I do if I don’t feel I love as I should when people express love for me? I’m a wife, mother, and grandmother, but I struggle with depression, and the medication I take makes me numb. What do I say to my 43-year-old son with schizophrenia who hears God telling him he will be healed if he shaves his head and gives things away? How do I process my hatred toward my husband of 24 years? He has been emotionally abusive and withheld support and affection from me, and he does what he can to make me miserable. We are divorcing.

Caller Questions where does this fit in on the spiritual side? The devil hasn’t come up in my EMDR therapy, but Jesus has.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Marc discusses how healthy relationships are built through intentional partnership, emotional connection, and structure. By understanding your attachment style, you can learn the skills needed to develop a more secure attachment and stronger relationships. Is codependency an addiction? I tend to get into codependent relationships and then experience major periods of depression. Is EMDR therapy effective for 11-year-olds? My granddaughter was diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed medication, but she hasn’t taken it because she struggles to swallow pills. Can a 20-year marriage recover from repeated infidelity? My husband was involved with the same woman multiple times. I have betrayed his trust in other ways, but not through infidelity. My 18-year-old granddaughter lives with me, and I can’t get her to stop using marijuana. I recently caught her and her boyfriend using cocaine that she obtained through her workplace.

Caller Questions how do I get past my regret? I lost both of my parents; how do I survive if I don’t have emotional security around me?

Caller Questions I’m losing my home and family.

Caller Questions however, I want to move to Phoenix, but I’m afraid. My 24-year-old son is a marine, is married, and is coping with his depression by using alcohol; my husband and I are going to see him. What do I say and what should I not say? I got divorced 7 years ago. I started drinking but have been sober for 2 years; we have a 16-year-old daughter, and I feel stuck. How do I move on?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim discusses why many adult children are deconstructing their parents’ faith and explains the three types of people who often walk away from faith: nomads, prodigals, and exiles. I left a 10-year relationship because my avoidant, live-in boyfriend refused to talk through issues, but he keeps sending nostalgic texts. What should I do to finally move on? I’m 58, struggled with substance abuse for years, and I’m finally sober, but my ADHD symptoms are becoming harder to manage. Is there still hope for recovery and mental health healing later in life? We’ve spent the last 10 years traveling to visit my stepchildren, but they never make the effort to come see us. Should we keep taking the high road and pursuing the relationship, or is it time to set boundaries?

Caller Questions & Discussion : Dr. Jill discusses thievery and jealousy and how we shouldn’t let the enemy steal our internal happiness. Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). I’m retired, but my husband doesn’t want to go anywhere, and I’m in tears about it. In the mornings, I feel deep anxiety. Some friends invited us on a European cruise, but my husband won’t go—so now I’m feeling jealous. My kids are 10 and 11. My daughter opened her brother’s computer and found sexually explicit material. What do I do? How can a pill affect your mind? I’m in my 70s, struggle with depression, and feel afraid of medication. Do I tell my kids that their biological dad is not their real father? I’ve had affairs and had children with two other men. My husband forgave me, but he doesn’t want to tell our adult kids.

Caller Questions how do we stop our bad behavior? JJ shares what to expect at the Identity in Christ Webinar; he’ll be talking about what God says about you, how to break free from shaming labels, and how to confidently walk in your true identity. As Father’s Day approaches, can a man who couldn’t meet his expectation of being a good father actually change? Every Man’s Battle Intensive teaches it is more than changing behavior.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim answers the question: When adult children walk away from their faith, what’s the answer for parents? Staying connected, loving well, and trusting God are essential. I stay in a fight-or-flight mode and have a hard time setting boundaries with my narcissistic husband, who has been physically abusive to me. And I have a 15-year-old daughter who is his stepdaughter. How do I help my wife stop enabling her adult son who struggles with alcoholism? She has been confronted by me, her responsible son and daughter-in-law, but she’s resistant. What can I do to rebuild a close relationship with my 45-year-old daughter? I used to watch her kids, but she’s disconnected from me now.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jill discusses when gloating causes grief. Why do I feel constant competition in my romantic relationships? I’ve always struggled with my faith, and I feel like it has to do with childhood traumas. We’re recently married and my wife’s past trauma has led her to ask me to leave and not talk to me for three months.

Caller Questions he was a high-functioning alcoholic, was unfaithful, and was mean when he drank. How do I move forward?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim discusses his newest book, When Your Adult Child Strays. If your adult child makes poor choices like addiction, unhealthy relationships, or moving in with a boyfriend or girlfriend, it’s easy to panic and react in anger. Staying connected and preserving the relationship is critical. My 13-year-old granddaughter got a citation for marijuana, then cut her wrist before going to court, and also became violent with her mom after her phone was taken away. Are there any resources to help? My husband is in rehab, and we’ve been separated for a year. He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and I don’t think he should move back in with our kids. Should he return to the household? My 15-year-old daughter struggles with anxiety, depression, and PTSD. My ex-husband was a narcissist. She sees a psychologist and takes medication, but she’s constantly on the computer. What else should I be doing?

Caller Questions how do you refill spiritually and emotionally? All of my family has passed away, I have medical problems, and I wake up wanting to be with the Lord—how can I stop feeling so angry and find peace? I’ve been married for six years and am in an emotionally destructive marriage, but I don’t want a divorce; what can I do? What should I tell my daughter-in-law to do after she found a letter from the other woman my narcissistic son is having an affair with? My friend and I struggle with demonic attacks and play demonic video games—do you have counselors who address spiritual warfare and deliverance? My 57-year-old daughter is very bitter toward me because I lost custody of her after my divorce—how can I repair our relationship?

Caller Questions am I biblically obligated to have a relationship with my biological mother if I don’t want to? My 11-year-old granddaughter has developed a fear after getting sick and won’t take Benadryl because she thinks it’s poison. She was given a small dose of Prozac. What are your thoughts now that she’s off the medication but still very anxious? After 43 years of marriage, I’ve never felt that my wife loved me. What do you recommend? I lost my mom in October, and I’m an only child. We received an inheritance from her, but we were previously homeless and have now spent all of it. Where can I go to find clarity? I have a crystal meth addiction, and I feel like God is condemning me to hell. What can I do?

Caller Questions am I taking the right steps? My son was violently murdered, and then my other son died from a drug overdose. Now my daughter has moved in with my son and me. I’ve struggled with finding the right counselor. My daughter just left her controlling husband who has Asperger’s. How do I best support her decision?

Caller Questions how do I help them? I do FaceTime with my adult kids, but I have a lot of emotional triggers; how do I not get triggered by them? What do I do if I’m 78 years old, was homeless, and have lost everything?

Caller Questions what do I do? I’ve lost my husband, mom, sister, and wake up every day hoping that God will take me; does God still love me? Should I have dinner with my son and his family for the holidays if he has an alcohol addiction and is very difficult when he’s intoxicated?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Henry Cloud explains that when he wrote his newest book Your Desired Future, he had essential steps in mind to help people move forward. Start by being honest about where you are—but don’t stay there. Get out of denial and develop a clear vision for where you want to go. I drink 4 or 5 shots of alcohol at a time because I’m lonely. My wife just looks at her iPad, and I can’t talk to her about it. How do I get to the root of it? I just checked into a clinic for alcohol addiction.

Caller Questions what can I do? I’m in a blended family, and only one of my husband’s adult children travels to see us. Can we stop making an effort to visit them?

Caller Questions however, she hasn’t reconciled with me. Is there anything he can say to help?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Becky discusses why it’s time to rethink mental health. Take a step toward a healthier life with (Romans 12:1–3), (2 Corinthians 10:5), and (Philippians 4:8). My daughter lives four miles from me, but she is on and off with me. I went by their house to ask for help fixing the light on my car and was met with hostility. Becky’s husband, Bruce, called to wish her a happy 42nd wedding anniversary! My husband passed away from Alzheimer’s, and I still can’t believe it. The man I was dating hasn’t called me recently, and I think he broke my heart. How do I deal with all of this? I had a heated argument with my mom and never reconciled because four days later, she passed away. How do I reconcile that loss?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice asks the thought-provoking question, “What is your resistance to healing?” She also shares three ways to overcome resistance to change and embrace emotional and spiritual healing. Our 33-year-old daughter is pregnant, and her fiancé called off their wedding. Now neither of them will talk to us, and her boyfriend seems very controlling. What should we do in this difficult family situation? When I go to my friend’s house, where I help care for his dog, I notice sexually-explicit material on his table. Should I tell him it makes me uncomfortable? My wife and I have no relationship with our 63-year-old son because he denied that his daughter was his, but now he demands that we accept her. Are we right to distance ourselves, or should we try to rebuild the relationship?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim discusses what deconstruction is and how his newest book, When Your Adult Child Strays: Trading Heartache for Hope, explores this difficult topic in greater depth. How do I love my wife when I feel no attraction or emotional connection to her? I also struggle with respect because we seem very different in intelligence and humor. I was sexually abused by my stepfather. Now when I visit my mom, she turns away when I try to give her a kiss on the cheek, so I told her I shouldn’t see her. Any advice?

Caller Questions use resistance as a pathway to what needs to be submitted to God. What do you do when an employee doesn’t submit to their boss because they believe the Lord told them to do something else? We are in our sixties; is it normal for my husband to spend significant time with his friends? I found out about an Ireland trip he planned to take and I waited months for him to tell me, but he didn’t. Any advice for sharing finances in a new marriage? My friend is transitioning from a male to female and has been depressed. Since her hope is in surgery, how do I be a supportive friend?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Becky discusses neuroplasticity and how God designed our brains to change and grow. Our brains form neuropathways, and over time, habits become part of who we are. However, real transformation is possible—you can change the way your brain works through doing things like habit stacking. I wanted to talk to my girlfriend’s son about Christ before he died of cancer, but I didn’t feel like I could because her family asked a pastor to leave the hospital room. Did it help to witness to him after he took his last breath? When the last caller spoke about regretting not sharing his faith, I felt led to say that he is experiencing conviction because he is in a sexual relationship with his girlfriend. I grew up in a dysfunctional environment marked by sexual and physical abuse. My father murdered my sister. Is it a sin not to have a relationship with my mother?

Caller Questions what can I do? How do I navigate my 4-year-old daughter’s questions about her daddy? My husband and I are separated, and he’s not allowed to see her right now. Our 23-year-old daughter just broke up with her boyfriend and now wants to go to Australia by herself. I don’t want her to go—how should I respond? What can I do if my 33-year-old son and his wife keep cutting me out of their lives? I have complex PTSD.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Marc explains the difference between change and growth. While we can change external circumstances like jobs or relationships, real transformation happens through internal growth—otherwise the same patterns often remain. How do I handle my estranged 28-year-old son? He’s always had a difficult relationship with my husband and cut off most of the family except me. He eloped last year and has now cut me off as well. I’m concerned about my friend’s safety due to her memory loss. Should I step back and give her space because she isn’t open to suggestions? My husband experienced physical and emotional abuse as a child, and he often becomes angry with me and projects his mother’s traits onto me. What should I do in this situation? My friend’s husband is struggling with infidelity and anger and is considering an inpatient program—what type of treatment program would be most appropriate for him?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Chris discusses having a high-maintenance internal world and how showing up well requires intentional effort rather than entitlement, beginning each day by releasing anxiety to God. How do I establish the right boundaries with my 25-year-old daughter? She’s finishing her master’s degree but takes her frustrations out on me. I feel bad when I block my meth-addicted son, but he goes to detox and then starts using meth again. He recently fell in love with a woman who is also a meth addict. How can I pick the right lady to be with? I keep making the same mistakes over and over. My estranged son wants nothing to do with me because of my political views and Christian beliefs. I wasn’t a Christian when he was a child.

Caller Questions my doctor told me to divorce, but I don’t want to be by myself. How does a single person, who isn’t sexually active, know if they will have a sex drive when they get married? I get really enraged at my husband, sons, and mom, but the root is that my expectations aren’t met. My husband sexually assaulted me and the police said there’s nothing they can do. He contacts women on Facebook, and he asked his mom about moving into her house with his girlfriend; should I get help or get a divorce?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Sherri explains what a “traumaberg” is and how trauma is like an iceberg. The iceberg shows our behaviors, but underneath the surface is the trauma that happened in our past. I’ve been struggling with lust and masturbation for the last 6 years, and a man from church has asked me to be his girlfriend. Is it okay for me to start a relationship? I used to struggle with sex addiction and my wife is everything I could ever want, but she has no libido or desire for sex. What should I do? My son has a job and a roommate, but he talks about suicide and doesn’t go out. How do I help him?

Caller Questions how do I help my friend and my kids? I’ve been married almost 50 years and my husband clutters and hoards; any tips on how to deal with this? My 11-year-old son was diagnosed with ADHD and defiance disorder, but he lives with his mom; what do I do with his behavior when he’s with me? I’ve been married for 18 months and pay all the bills; my wife works but keeps her money to herself and spends it on whatever she wants. What can I do?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Becky discusses the big lie that “time heals all wounds” and explains why untreated pain can continue to harm us over time. Can you give me guidance? My 25-year-old daughter has Bipolar Disorder and recently moved back home because she’s been unable to maintain employment. Should I tell my adult son he is giving the appearance of evil? He met a woman 20 years younger who claims to be a minister, and he’s now traveling the country with her children. They sleep in the same camper. I’m in a failed marriage to a malignant narcissist, but I don’t believe in divorce. My oldest son has asked me to watch his children because he can’t afford daycare, but my youngest son and husband don’t want me to. If I don’t, my oldest son will have to quit his job.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jill discusses steps toward radical acceptance. While we often want to avoid sitting with difficult emotions or thinking about painful situations, doing so can be an important path toward achieving radical acceptance and emotional healing. I’ve had one session with a therapist, and she used a subconscious imprinting technique in our work. Have you heard of this approach? How do I talk to my 37-year-old son, who becomes defensive when I discuss his bills? My husband has also tried stepping in by paying his rent at times. What advice do you have for my 57-year-old husband who has ADHD and does not like taking his medications? He says his mind never stops racing. You had a caller on Tuesday whose experience with a man in her small group at church giving unwanted hugs reminded me of how men in my life have also behaved inappropriately.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim explains that when confronting someone—especially an adult child or a family member—we need to remain the calmest person in the room to have healthy, productive conversations. What can I do about my sister, who has guardianship of a child and two seniors, including my mom, but is excluding them from the rest of the family? Should I move my sister back in with me? She was in a car accident and placed in a residential home, but someone may be trying to scam her out of money. This is my second marriage. My wife recently accused me of having something going on with a former employee after looking her up on social media and saying she was attractive—how should I respond? My counselor and husband don’t want me to have a relationship with my family because I have bipolar disorder and they say my family tears me down. How should I handle seeing my brother after I gave him money to keep him out of jail, but he didn’t use it and kept asking for more?

Caller Questions do I need a coach or counselor as we head into retirement and move to another state? When you give it over to God, how do you make peace last? I am the dad of twin adult daughters, and I feel peace momentarily but then it’s gone. My 36-year-old son is an attorney and is considering suicide; this is his third attempt and I am on my way to see him. What can I do?

Caller Questions & Discussion: JJ discusses that if you are experiencing loneliness and isolation, you should ask yourself: “Am I making the effort to reach beyond my comfort circle?” How do I detach—but still support—my 45-year-old daughter and my 2-year-old grandson who may be on the autism spectrum? My daughter and her husband are demanding support, including asking us to let them stay with my brother or give them my house. There is a man in my small group who keeps trying to hug me, and I am not okay with it. I am the youngest in the group, and he seems to target me. How do I love my 25-year-old daughter who struggles with mental health and has drained us financially? My two adult daughters argue, and it is interfering with our family get-togethers. How involved should I be in their ongoing conflict?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Marc shares five practical ways parents can stay connected and set healthy boundaries with their adult children—even when those children are making unhealthy or destructive choices. I have a family member who has no filter, and I feel constantly disrespected and judged. Should I confront them? My husband’s niece stopped talking to him two years ago and is now critically ill. If he’s already tried reaching out, what else can he do to restore the relationship? Should I say anything about my friend being paid under the table? She’s been doing it for 12 years—what’s the right response?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice explains how you can choose today to start divorce-proofing your marriage and shares practical tips to strengthen your relationship. Is it acceptable for me to move forward with a divorced woman who is the mother of my kids? I’m a new Christian, reading through the Bible, and wondering what it says about divorce and remarriage. I was an alcoholic, but now I find myself struggling with food addiction, which feels safer than risking harm to others through a DUI. I’m 53 and my husband is 71. He suffered a traumatic brain injury and has ongoing cognitive issues, but he refuses to seek help. How can I face betrayal from extended family I see every day? I feel mentally absent, yet I want to be present for my kids. My brother is dying due to poor choices, and my family is making me feel guilty for not caring. How should I handle this family grief and guilt?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice shares the promise that “God sets the lonely in families” (Psalm 68:6).  If you struggle with loneliness or being a people-pleaser, remember to HALT: don’t get too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. I’ve been a pastor’s wife for 32 years, and my gift is hosting events. Some people say I’m too much. How can I clear this hurdle? My extended family does everything together, but they gaslight me and often leave me out. How do I cope? My husband and I have three teens, and he always argues with our middle teen daughter. How do I balance being a supportive wife and mom? I have a 58-year-old son who sent me hurtful texts demanding I repent and go to his church, even though I live far away. My therapist thinks he struggles with mental illness. How should I respond?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jacqui discusses the importance of developing a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset. She shares how she used to say, “I don’t play sports because I’m not good at it,” but now approaches challenges with a growth mindset: “Let’s see what went wrong so I can learn from it and try something different.” Why have I replaced drugs and alcohol with emotional eating? Since getting sober, I’ve gained 70 pounds from turning to food for comfort. I discovered my husband was unfaithful. We’ve been in marriage counseling and tried an in-home separation, but not living apart. How do I begin living separately? In the past five years, I’ve experienced significant losses. Am I convincing myself that something is wrong physically? I’ve noticed memory issues and forgetfulness that concern me.

Caller Questions I’ve forgiven him but told him he had to stop or I’d leave. Now I find myself choosing not to care; I feel like my heart has hardened. What do I do? I have a lot of regret that I didn’t get married in 1978 after my girlfriend left. I’ve tried to meet someone and talked to four therapists, but I still haven’t met anyone. Any suggestions? I feel sad and only have a couple of friends left who haven’t died. Is it right for me to use cannabis to manage my PTSD and chronic pain? I believe my body is the temple of God.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Marc shares how, during a counseling session, he suddenly experienced intense pain and had to be rushed to the emergency room. In the same way, real growth in life often comes when we’re willing to face painful or difficult situations head-on. I’m 70 and have been struggling with major depression for months after multiple surgeries. I’m in my third marriage and afraid I might lose it. What are my next steps? After 45 years of marriage, I am still a virgin because my wife doesn’t want any sexual intimacy. How do I deal with this unmet need? I’m blind and recently suffered a concussion. I have support, but I’m grieving the loss of my dad and feeling disconnected from my mom. How do I cope? My daughter, a single mom of five, recently married a woman. How do I show her love without condoning?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jill reflects on the meaning of Good Friday and why it’s called “good.” Our sin is deeper than we often realize, but God’s mercy, grace, and forgiveness are greater than we could ever imagine. My fiancée has asked for more time before we get married—how do I navigate relationship uncertainty and emotional stress? Our son and daughter-in-law have cut off all communication with us. I have many of their belongings and want to return them—should I hire a lawyer or handle this family conflict personally? We have legal guardianship of our 12-year-old granddaughter and 8-year-old grandson after she was sexually assaulted. What should I do after my grandson shared what happened with the neighbors? It upset my granddaughter and the neighbors.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Sheri explains how the process of healing after trauma can feel like a lobster in the ocean—protected by a thick shell we develop after being hurt. I lost my husband in February after he suffered for years following a car accident, and I’m struggling to cope with grief. Should I consider surgery for ongoing issues with my eyes? I’ve had surgery before, but it didn’t improve my vision. I have ADHD and have been taking Lexapro and Adderall, which used to work well for me. But now, I feel disconnected from God’s voice. Do I need to adjust my medication?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Becky discusses “Spy Wednesday” when Judas sold out Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. We have betrayed Jesus by going our own way. During Holy Week, let us dismantle everything that isn’t about eternal things. My husband of 39 years left me and gave me the responsibility of selling our home. How do I deal with the anger and resentment? I was put out of the house due to aggression toward my 17-year-old stepdaughter and was charged. Is there any way to reconcile my marriage? I’m 20 and have a child with a woman who also has a child with another man. I’ve tolerated a lot of disrespect—how do I set healthier boundaries?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Becky discusses the Garden of Gethsemane and how Christ knew the suffering that was ahead of Him. In this world, you will face struggles. But as Christ prayed for the cup of suffering to be taken from Him, He said, “Not my will, but yours be done.” If pastors made themselves more vulnerable, would it help with church attendance? I brought someone to church, and he felt uncomfortable. I don’t fly anymore because I was on a plane that almost crashed. But my daughter moved 1,200 miles away and is upset with me for not coming to see her, along with other issues from the past. How do I know if Jesus has taken me through a healing process from trauma, or if I’m becoming depressed? I’ve been in therapy for a long time dealing with PTSD from my parents and am a new believer.

Caller Questions should I cut off my relationship with her? How can I support my girlfriend who has OCD in the healthiest ways?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Becky challenges us with an important question: What work do you need to do on your own journey? You can’t control how others perceive you or the choices they make, but you can take responsibility for your own healing and growth. My life is a mess because of my gambling addiction. I’ve lost everything, and the only person I could talk to about it committed suicide this week. What should I do now? My dad recently passed away, and I discovered my sister had been taking money from him. I feel completely lost and don’t know where God is in all of this. How do I move forward?