About this episode
Henk, 5 years sober, shares his story….. How do most people get sober? We all assume that it is through rehab or 12 step programs and that your odds are slim if you try to do it on your own (www.addiction.com). During the 1980's an idea was promoted that the only way you could get and stay sober was through rehab programs or AA. However, a study that followed problem drinkers from 2001-2005 showed that 85% of these drinkers got sober without any outside help (a phenomenon known as spontaneous or natural remission recovery). It should be noted that the majority of these people still had strong support systems at home and in their community. SHOW NOTES [ 7:53 ] How long have you been sober? Henk – I have been sober since Sept 13, 2010. I am originally from Holland but now live in Thailand where I for work for Hope Rehab. I also love to ride motor bikes. [ 9:30 ] When did you realize that you had a problem? Henk – I have been in and out of various treatment facilities since I was 23. At the age of 13, I began drinking and using drugs. This quickly escalated into selling drugs at the age of 15. By the time I turned 30, I had been in 5 long term treatment programs. They did not work because I did not want to stop drinking, I just wanted the problems to stop. [ 11:15 ] Do you think that alcohol is the gateway drink? Henk – Yes, when I drank I became a completely different person. We believe that it is more alcohol than marijuana that leads to destructive behavior. [ 12:29 ] Paul and Henk discuss what lead him to finally seek treatment Henk – My family did not want anything to do with me anymore. I had racked up high debts and I could not even take care of myself. I was living in dilapidated conditions. I finally realized that you cannot run away from what is in your head. You cannot drink those thoughts away. [ 13:37 ] What was the biggest difference between your last 2 rehabs? Henk – I had lost everything and was mentally and physically dying. I decided that I could not go back to that kind of life. [ 15:00 ] Paul and Henk discuss the "gift" of desperation Henk – The gift of desperation is very painful but it helped get me clean. It made me realize what I had done to myself. [ 16:32 ] Paul and Henk discuss the value of a fishing rod Henk – Right after leaving treatment, I found that I had no hobbies and no friends. I had to find some type of higher power and since I had a love of nature, I decided to buy a fishing pole. Anytime I was bored, angry, and lonely or upset, I would go to the canal and sit with my fishing pole. I would feel the wind and watch the water move. It really helped settle my mind. I also bought a pair of running shoes and began running. It was time to move forward. [ 21:47 ] Paul and Henk discuss the classroom exercise he observed while visiting Hope Rehab in Thailand Henk – I try to make the patients understand that work is needed if you want to remain sober. Relapse rates are very high and I try to stress the importance of putting in the effort. You want to remain sober? You've got to do the work. [ 25:20 ] How are you staying sober now? Henk – My sobriety is still my #1 priority. I have a sponsor and still go to meetings, especially when I travel. Since I work in a rehab facility, I am constantly seeing new comers. It helps remind me that addiction is so painful. When I reached 1 year of sobriety myself, I had tears running down my face because I could not believe that I had done it! [ 27:50] What are your thoughts on relapse? Henk – Relapse is a sign of some type of reservation in recovery. As alcoholics, we can think of a million reasons to drink. Nothing that happens to you justifies a relapse. Drinking only makes it worse. [ 30:39 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Sitting by myself at Christmas one year. My life was a mess, my girlfriend had just left me and no one wanted anything to do with me. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? When I crashed my scooter in front of all of my friends What's your plan moving forward? Right now I am feeling very stable and calm in my recovery. It helps that I love where I work. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Intherooms.com, meetings, and the book Living Sober What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? "Stop being a dick Henk!" and "Take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth." What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? The best thing you can do for yourself is get sober. I used to think that my life would be over if I could no longer party. Life has only just begun for me since I got sober. You might be an alcoholic if………you think alcohol is the solution Resources mentioned in this episode: Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com Interested in volunteering for Hope Rehab? – Send a message to Henk@hoperehab.com Annie Grace – This Naked Mind video course can be found at com/Annie. Enter promo code elevator50 to receive $50 off On 4/8 in Bozeman MT, Paul will me speaking on a Ted X Talk about how alcohol is duping society "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"