RE 158: Is Everyone Really Drinking?

"Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting" You can't always believe what you hear. Just because we believe that everybody was kung fu fighting, doesn't mean that everyone was actually kung fu fighting. In fact, upon further research, it turns out that no one was kung fu fighting in the original music videos for this song. The same applies to "Everybody drinks". When we drink, our beliefs about everyone drinking around us probably don't reflect reality. We feel that we have no choice because, in our minds, we are surrounded by drinking. Studies show that over one third of adults refrain from drinking alcohol and even more drink very moderately. In sobriety, we have an opportunity to redefine "normal". We are relieved to let go of the trapping idea that we are forced to consume alcohol to fit in. Anna, with over 17 years since her last drink, shares her story.. SHOW NOTES [10:40] Paul Introduces Anna. Anna is from Marin County. She's a writer. She has a cat, a boyfriend and a recovery podcast/company. [14:30] What are you working on right now? She realized that the publishing business was not for her. She's now focusing on building her own audience and connecting with them and helping them directly. [21:25] When did you first realize you had a problem with drinking and/or drugs? She realized she had a problem when she began using drugs in her apartment alone. It got very dark and she didn't want to get sober but she realized that she had no other choice. [24:15] What kind of role did alcohol play in substance abuse? She never realized she had a problem because she was more focused on cocaine. In rehab they tried to tell her that drinking was connected and she didn't believe them, which lead to relapse. [27:26] Which drug had more of a grip on you at the time? It turns out it was both, even though she thought it was only cocaine. [28:00] Talk to us about alcohol being the gateway drug for you. While under the influence are alcohol, she lost her ability to say no to the other drugs. [31:15] What have you learned from your long term sobriety? She learned how sensitive she is. She learned that emotions are fleeting and won't last forever. She's learned how to accept people for how they behave. [33:50] What role does self-loathing or self-love play in sobriety? She believes that alcoholism is about ego-centrism and the spotlight effect. We assume everything is focused on us. She learned that we can change our behavior and rewire our bad habits. Forgive yourself for your mistakes, and break down the negative thinking. [39:16] What would you say to someone on day 1? Go to a meeting, connect with a sobriety community. [41:08] How are you continuing to stay sober? She goes to a couple meetings a week. She goes to therapy, she meditates, she exercises. [42:28] What do you still want to accomplish in sobriety going forward? She believes in visualization. [43:10] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? She accidentally snorted special K thinking it was cocaine. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Nothing special happened that day, but she just acted and got sober. What's your plan moving forward? What's your favorite resource in recovery? She loves "Blackout" by Sarah Hepolah. "Everything is horrible and wonderful". Also an accountability group. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Re-frame depression as discomfort. Life is a process of getting comfortable with discomfort. We get what we want out of life when we stop insisting on it. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? You might be an alcoholic if... You spend more time obsessing over alcohol or drugs. Resources mentioned in this episode: This episode was brought to you by Casper . Visit Casper.com/elevator and use the promo code elevator for $50 off select mattresses. Letting Go – David Hawkins Light Hustler – Anna's website Blackout, Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget – A book by Sarah Hepolah Everything is Horrible and Wonderful – A book by Stephanie Wachs Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"