About this episode
"How you feel, what you want, and what you think have to be important to you. But it has to be more important than what anyone else wants, thinks, or feels." - Terri Cole Have you ever wondered why you feel exhausted despite being incredibly capable and getting everything done? Licensed psychotherapist Terri Cole joins me to expose the hidden epidemic of high-functioning codependency that's leaving accomplished women in their 40s and beyond feeling burned out, resentful, and unknown by the people closest to them. This powerful conversation reveals why boundary setting for women isn't just about saying no—it's about reclaiming your authentic self and creating relationships where you're truly known. We dive deep into why saying "I don't care" when you actually do care is corrupting your relationships, how anticipatory planning is stealing your peace, and why that voice in your head saying "I don't want them to feel bad" is actually about control, not love. Terri reveals the two game-changing questions that will transform how you respond to every request and opportunity, plus why your automatic "yes" might be the very thing preventing authentic intimacy in your life. If you're ready to stop being everyone's rock and start honoring your own needs, this episode on boundary setting for women will transform how you show up in every relationship. What you’ll learn: How to identify if you're a high-functioning codependent versus someone who's simply caring and thoughtful The hidden cost of being the "rock" everyone relies on and why nobody checks in on your well-being Two essential questions to ask before agreeing to anything that will save you from resentment and burnout Why giving advice immediately instead of asking expansive questions is sabotaging your relationships The difference between your preferences, desires, limits, and deal breakers in boundary setting for women How to use a resentment inventory as your GPS to identify where boundaries are needed Why tolerating behaviors and situations is a form of self-abandonment that leads to bitterness The connection between people-pleasing patterns and childhood indoctrination into the "cult of nice" Love the Podcast? Here’s what to do: Make My Day & Share Your Thoughts! Subscribe to the podcast & leave me a review Text a screenshot to 813-565-2627 Expect a personal reply because your voice is so important to me. Join 55,000+ followers who make this podcast thrive. Want to listen to the show completely ad-free? Go to subscribetojj.com Enjoy the VIP experience for just $4.99/month or $49.99/year (save 17%!) Click “TRY FREE” and start your ad-free journey today! Full show notes (including all links mentioned): https://jjvirgin.com/terri Get Terri’s HFC High-Functioning Codependent) Toolkit Order Terri’s book Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency Learn more about Terri Cole Terri on Instagram Terri on Facebook Terri’s YouTube channel The Terri Cole Show Vital Choice wild-caught seafood Episode Sponsors: Try Qualia risk free for up to 100 days and code VIRGINWELLNESS for an additional 15% off Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices