About this episode
I grew up in a hard-working family, none religious. At the age of 18, I learned that the Father I'd known all my life was not, in fact, my biological Father. This new-found fact destabilized the identity I had become accustomed to. The idea of who I was came under question. I was left asking, who am I. What then followed was ten years of drinking. At 27 I found myself in recovery from alcoholism. I spent three and a half years examining all the aspects of self-identified traits in order to find an honesty that would propel me into a more productive direction. After three and a half years I came to see that all willful attempts at modifying the self still remained within the paradigm of self-will. I had not transcended into honesty. It was at this point in a room one evening in 99 that I handed all attachment to the mind for any orientation to ongoing recovery. In doing so, not knowing what lay beyond, there was to be a complete self-realization. Book: Walking Awake Website: invitationtobeing.org Transcript of this interview Interview recorded 11/21/2015 YouTube Video Chapters: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Background 00:04:19 - Past Lives and Memories 00:08:33 - Family Background and Drinking Habits 00:11:51 - Identity Crisis and the Impact of Discovering the Truth 00:16:01 - Experimenting with Reality and Alcohol Addiction 00:19:42 - Escaping into Art and Self-Destruction 00:23:43 - A Turning Point in Recovery 00:27:38 - The Powerlessness of Alcoholism 00:32:08 - Impact of a Simple Sentence 00:36:36 - Walking Away from the Fellowship 00:40:39 - The Search for Authenticity 00:45:29 - Surrendering the Mind to a Higher Power 00:50:21 - Letting go of the Mind 00:55:11 - The Opening of the Heart and the Dark Void 01:00:24 - Relating from Absolute and the Heart 01:05:29 - Realization and Appreciation of Spiritual Texts 01:09:14 - The Dissipation of the Body of Illusion 01:13:44 - Living in relation to Absolute 01:18:07 - Dissociation and Formlessness 01:21:52 - The Uncommon Language of Self-Realization 01:25:53 - From Therapy to Awakening 01:30:12 - The Integration of Self-realization and Mind Experience 01:35:24 - The Direct Experience of Consciousness 01:39:48 - Union with the Absolute 01:44:15 - Attunement and Entrainment in Silence 01:48:38 - Awakening to the Absolute 01:52:20 - The Play of I Am-ness and Curiosity 01:56:36 - The Blossoming of Curiosity and Direct Experience 02:01:11 - Spiritual Realization and Relationships 02:05:42 - The Breaking Point for Addicts and Alcoholics 02:09:30 - Conclusion and Farewell