1282: Kalin Orgill Organ - Losing and Finding One's Self in Search of Truth Pt. 1

Periodically on Mormon Stories Podcast I try to interview “normal” or everyday Mormons about their faith journey – and in every case these “normal” Mormons turn out to be extraordinarily thoughtful and courageous. Today’s interview is no exception to this rule. Today on Mormon Stories podcast I am interviewing Kalin Orgill Organ. Aside from Kalin being a super thoughtful and courageous human, Kalin’s story includes several important themes in modern Mormonism: Kalin was raised in an orthodox Mormon home in California and in Highland, Utah – with seven siblings. She was sexually abused as a child, which possibly awakened her to her own sexuality early than other children. She began masturbating as a girl, before she even knew what the term meant. This instigated a multi-year effort between herself, her parents, and her Mormon bishop to try to stop the behavior, and to become “worthy” in God’s eyes. Kalin “lost her virginity” as a Mormon teen, which, along with her inability to stop masturbating, only made her feel less worthy. Kalin had doubts/questions as a Mormon teen, and even listened briefly to Mormon Stories podcast PRIOR to serving her mission. She fought hard to gain a testimony while on her mission. Over time, three of Kalin’s siblings came out to her as LGBTQ, which multiplied her confusion and doubt. After returning from a successful Mormon mission, Kalin married her husband Aaron in a Mormon temple, wherein they became to onlookers the “perfect Mormon couple.” Over time, after a lifetime of struggling to feel worthy, Kalin’s doubts began to consume her, and she began to contemplate suicide as a Mormon wife and mother of two children. Kalin is currently navigating a mixed-faith marriage, and remains an active non-literal believer in her Salt Lake City ward. This is Kalin’s story – how she lost her orthodox Mormon faith, but found herself (and her own voice) in the process. You will not be disappointed with this interview. I hope you will join us. And please spread the word if you can!