About this episode
Why do so many women quit Jiu-Jitsu—and what can we do to fix it? In this candid and eye-opening episode, Fighting Matters sits down with Shelby York of Rough Hands BJJ to talk about the real reasons women leave the sport. From casual misogyny to unsafe training environments, Shelby shares the often overlooked struggles women face in martial arts—and what coaches, training partners, and gym owners can actually do to make things better. Also featuring hosts Steve Kwan, Jesse Walker, and Mike Mahaffey. ✅ Topics include: • The subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways women are pushed out • Why some gyms feel unsafe—and how to fix that • How to build a culture where women want to train • The difference between intimacy and sexualization on the mats • Shelby’s own stories of navigating the martial arts world as a coach 👉 Whether you run a gym or just want to be a better training partner, this conversation is a must-listen. 00:00 Introduction and Guest Introductions 02:23 Women in Martial Arts: Experiences and Challenges 07:07 Shelby's Martial Arts Background and Perspectives 10:29 The Misogyny Problem in Martial Arts 16:13 Navigating Gender Dynamics in the Gym 24:41 Addressing Subtle Forms of Misogyny 26:09 Understanding Victim Blame in Self-Defense 27:16 The Role of Physical Attributes in Martial Arts 28:11 Gaslighting in Martial Arts Training 30:14 Communication Styles in Self-Defense Training 32:19 Addressing Sexual Assault in Self-Defense 35:07 The Importance of Women's Voices in Martial Arts 36:45 Recognizing Trusted Aggressors 39:14 The Reality of Self-Defense Situations 40:21 Empowering Women to Speak Up 42:26 Navigating Male Receptivity in Conversations 47:45 Creating a Safe Training Environment 53:02 Challenging Gender Stereotypes in Sports 55:04 Navigating Gender Dynamics in Training 57:53 Empowerment and Consent in Martial Arts 01:00:14 Creating Safe Spaces in Jiu-Jitsu 01:03:01 Building an Inclusive Gym Culture 01:10:10 The Importance of Genuine Interactions #jiujitsu #bjj #womensbjj #martialarts #selfdefense #grapplingculture #fightingmatters