Using Dating Apps for Validation | The Gay Rugby Podcast | Ep 16

From dating app dopamine to locker room breakdowns, the messy overlap of rugby and mental health. Episode 16 of The Gay Rugby Podcast is less polished highlight reel and more raw post-match debrief. We dig into using dating apps for validation and rugby and mental health, pulling no punches on how those late-night swipes blur into dating app addiction, how the highs of a “like” hit feel like a dopamine loop, and why those same patterns leave players limping emotionally by Monday practice.We ask the uncomfortable question: is this toxic behavior? The answer takes us back to the childhood, where trauma first wired us to chase approval and into the present, where we mask it with locker room jokes and humor as a coping mechanism.The conversation sprawls out like an open pitch: seeking validation online, online dating burnout, the weight of hookup culture burnout, and how gay men’s mental health too often gets hidden behind “I’m fine, mate.” We talk queer masculinity, body image in the gay community, and the uneasy marriage between sports culture and toxic masculinity. Rugby is supposed to be an escape, but the algorithm follows you onto the field, whispering about abs, likes, and worth.But this isn’t just a therapy session in boots. It’s strategy talk: carving out space for LGBTQ athletes’ mental health, building mental fitness for rugby players, and exploring what it looks like to attempt a dating app dopamine detox or rewire toxic dating patterns. We’re finding scrums of support in the queer rugby community-proof that identity runs deeper than algorithms, and recovery can be a team sport.