#91: Toxic Positivity: Why "Just Stay Positive" Holds You Back

What if the very "stay positive" mindset you've been praised for is actually keeping you stuck? In this solo episode of The Scratch Golfer's Mindset Podcast, I call out toxic positivity for what it is: emotional avoidance dressed up as optimism. We dig into why the golf world has gone too soft, how repressing anger and discomfort quietly drains your energy and focus, and why elite performers train themselves to operate when conditions are far from perfect. You'll learn how to replace false cheer with authentic optimism—the relentless belief in yourself to handle hard things—using a simple three-step framework: Acknowledge, Accept, Act. We'll talk negativity bias, energy management, and why sitting with uncomfortable emotions turns them into teachers and fuel. In this episode, you'll learn: The difference between toxic positivity and authentic optimism Why "be happy all the time" backfires on the course and at work How negativity bias hardwires you to scan for threats—and what to do about it The Acknowledge → Accept → Act playbook to perform under pressure How to use anger and discomfort as focused fuel, not dead weight If you're ready to stop plastering a smile over struggle and finally play (and live) to your potential, this one's for you. Get your pencils ready and start listening. 1-1 High-Performance Hypnotherapy and Mindset Coaching: If you're serious about getting out of your own way and playing to your potential, click here to schedule a Mindset Coaching Discovery Call to learn how I can help you make playing to your potential a habit. High-Performance Hypnosis Guided Audios: Ready to get a taste of hypnosis? Click here to choose from one of my unique hypnosis audios to help you accelerate improvement in a specific area of your game. Click here to read my Ultimate Guide to Golf Hypnosis. Purchase the Wicked Smart Practice Plan Formula: Click here to learn how to practice with intention and what to do to get the most out of your practice sessions to drop your scores - fast. Use the code "salter" at checkout to save 10%. Play to Your Potential On (and Off) the Course Schedule a Mindset Coaching Discovery Call Subscribe to the More Pars than Bogeys Newsletter Download my "Play Your Best Round" free hypnosis audio recording. High-Performance Hypnotherapy and Mindset Coaching Paul Salter - known as The Golf Hypnotherapist - is a High-Performance Hypnotherapist and Mindset Coach who leverages hypnosis and powerful subconscious reprogramming techniques to help golfers of all ages and skill levels overcome the mental hazards of their minds so they can shoot lower scores and play to their potential. He has over 16 years of coaching experience working with high performers in various industries, helping them get unstuck, out of their own way, and unlock their full potential. Click here to learn more about how high-performance hypnotherapy and mindset coaching can help you get out of your own way and play to your potential on (and off) the course. Instagram: @thegolfhypnotherapist Twitter: @parsoverbogeys Key Takeaways: Toxic positivity = emotional avoidance. It looks noble but blocks growth, honesty, and results. Authentic optimism is belief + behavior. "This is hard—and I can handle it. Now act." Acknowledge, Accept, Act is the reset loop that turns emotions into execution. Negativity bias is real. Your brain defaults to threat-scanning; train optimism, presence, and focus deliberately. Operate when it's not perfect. Elite golfers perform amid discomfort, not after it disappears. Key Quotes: "At its core, toxic positivity is emotional avoidance disguised as optimism." "Life isn't sunshine and rainbows—and neither is golf. Train for the valleys, not just the peaks." "Authentic optimism says: this hurts—and I can handle it. Then it moves." "Emotion is energy. Repress it and it leaks; face it and it fuels." "Write it down: Acknowledge. Accept. Act. That's how you play to your potential." Time Stamps: 00:00: Understanding Toxic Positivity 04:15: The Dangers of Emotional Avoidance 09:16: The Reality of Negative Emotions 13:44: Why We Engage in Toxic Positivity 17:34: The Cost of Seeking Approval 21:01: The Importance of Acknowledgment and Acceptance 24:51: Authentic Optimism as a Solution