#96: Untangling Your Self-Worth from Your Results

What if the reason you can't sleep the night before a big round—or why you can't stop obsessing over quarterly numbers—isn't about golf or business at all… …but about a childhood program that taught you love and belonging only come when you deliver results? In this powerful solo episode of The Scratch Golfer's Mindset Podcast, I break down how childhood conditioning wires us to equate grades, trophies, and revenue with self-worth—and why that creates a boom-and-bust cycle of stress, burnout, and inconsistency on the course and in business. You'll learn how to detach from outcomes, reset expectations, and anchor to a relentless process so confidence rises, performance stabilizes, and results follow (in golf and life). If you're ready to trade scoreboard obsession for sustainable growth, this one's for you. In this episode, you'll learn: Why "results = worth" is a destructive mindset program—and how it formed How outcome attachment fuels burnout, anxiety, and relationship strain The difference between expectation and reality (and how that gap breeds doubt) The "law of lagging results" and how to think in 3–6 month horizons How to measure success by execution quality (process > outcome) How process mastery builds durable confidence that travels off the course If you've ever walked off the 18th green or closed your laptop at midnight feeling like your score or your sales defined your worth as a person, this episode is for you. Get your pencils ready and start listening. P.S. Curious to learn more about the results my clients are experiencing and what they say about working with me? Read more here . Play to Your Potential On (and Off) the Course Schedule a Mindset Coaching Discovery Call Subscribe to the More Pars than Bogeys Newsletter Download my "Play Your Best Round" free hypnosis audio recording. High-Performance Hypnotherapy and Mindset Coaching Paul Salter - known as The Golf Hypnotherapist - is a High-Performance Hypnotherapist and Mindset Coach who leverages hypnosis and powerful subconscious reprogramming techniques to help golfers of all ages and skill levels overcome the mental hazards of their minds so they can shoot lower scores and play to their potential. He has over 16 years of coaching experience working with high performers in various industries, helping them get unstuck, out of their own way, and unlock their full potential. Click here to learn more about how high-performance hypnotherapy and mindset coaching can help you get out of your own way and play to your potential on (and off) the course. Instagram: @thegolfhypnotherapist Key Takeaways: Outcome attachment is learned early; many of us equate love/approval with winning or straight A's. When worth is tied to scorecards and sales, every dip triggers shame, fear, and urgency masked as "hustle." Expectation–reality gaps invite doubt; manage expectations to calm your nervous system and execute better. Golf and business have lagging results—today's outcomes reflect the last 3–6 months of execution. Process execution (pre-shot, practice, post-round) is the only victory fully in your control—and it compounds. Scoring your day by execution quality builds a bank account of evidence and genuine confidence. Detachment isn't apathy; it's a disciplined focus on controllables that ultimately produces better results. Key Quotes: "Your results are feedback, not a verdict on your worth." "Detachment is discipline—it frees you to execute the process with clarity." "Manage expectations, and your emotions stop hijacking the wheel." "Today's score is the echo of the last 3–6 months of work." "If you want better results, measure what you can control: execution quality." "Confidence grows fastest when you tie it to consistency, not trophies." "You don't need bigger goals—you need a tighter process and fewer leaks." Time Stamps: 00:00: The Impact of Childhood Experiences on Self-Worth 07:17: Understanding the Attachment to Results 13:59: The Consequences of Tying Self-Worth to Results 15:21: Strategies for Detaching Self-Worth from Results 23:08: Action Steps for Personal Growth