Why People Pay to Be Dominated (and How It Heals Them) | Ep. 124 (Part 1)

Ever wondered why someone pays to be dominated? In this electrifying episode, I sit down with Miss May , a professional dominatrix, dungeon owner, and kink educator based in London and Berlin. We unpack what it really means to be a dominatrix — from understanding BDSM and power exchange to why humiliation and taboo fantasies can actually be healing. Ms. May shares what her clients request most, how kink can create emotional release, and what it’s like to separate her professional “Mistress” persona from her personal life. This is not your typical sex conversation — it’s raw, fascinating, and deeply human. 👉 Watch Part 2 on Substack for the full unfiltered visual version (YouTube gets a little sensitive). Head to Substack here: https://karenbigman.substack.com/p/why-people-pay-to-be-dominated-and Timestamps: 00:00 – Show intro: mission + midlife sexuality 00:35 – Why people pay to be dominated 01:05 – Guest intro: Ms. May, dominatrix & dungeon owner 01:45 – Path to pro: from private submissive to domme 03:00 – Learning the dungeon “pro” side 03:40 – Berlin studio years (Fetish Institute) 04:20 – BDSM 101: terms, roles, “vanilla” clarified 05:30 – Who hires a domme: client diversity 06:10 – Common requests: latex, bondage sacks, hoods, sensory play 07:05 – Subspace and meditative states explained 07:45 – Taboo play and humiliation: why it appeals 08:40 – Power release for high-status clients 09:15 – Can kink heal? Shame, consent, reclamation 10:05 – Re-writing past scripts and saying “no” 10:45 – Is kink always sexual? What “sex” means here 11:35 – Outcomes: orgasm vs experience, cages, spanking, observation 12:25 – Boundaries and emotional detachment as a pro 13:05 – Dating while a sex worker: stigma and challenges 13:55 – Visual segment setup: toy wall preview 14:15 – Collars, leashes, gags, cuffs: use cases 15:05 – Latex bondage jacket: full restraint demo 15:55 – Session length: 2–6 hours or longer with breaks 16:25 – Safety checks: breath, numbness, positioning 16:55 – Pre-scene negotiation: activities, health, tools, marks 17:45 – Consent frameworks: traffic-light safe words 18:25 – Mid-scene check-ins and non-verbal protocols 18:55 – Aftercare: down-ramp, tea, biscuits, grounding 19:30 – How to hire a pro: research, screening, deposits 20:20 – Red flags and scams: who contacts whom 20:55 – Pricing in London: typical hourly range 21:20 – Legal landscape: UK partial legality 21:55 – Germany model: registration and limits 22:30 – Why decriminalization is preferred 23:00 – UK vs Germany studio culture and isolation 23:35 – Personal switch: being submissive privately 24:00 – Lightning round: definition of sex 24:25 – Lightning round: best orgasm 24:45 – Lightning round: untried fantasy 25:05 – Key takeaways 25:35 – Substack CTA: full video and sensitive visuals 26:10 – Like, follow, review, share Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out! Karen Bigman , a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases. This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider. Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here: Email: karen@taboototruth.com Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast Miss May is a professional Dominatrix and dungeon owner. In the last years she has been working internationally being based in London and Berlin. In 2023 she opened her own dungeon called E1DARKROOM in London where she hosts professional sessions as well as events. Apart from spending time in the dungeon, Miss May hosts workshops, creates femdom content and does performances at different events all around the UK and Europe. Connect with Miss May: Instagram: @mismayberlin Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases. This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider. Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here: Email: karen@taboototruth.com Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook , filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook . Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook . ⏩ FREE: 10 TIPS EVERY MAN NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT THE FEMALE O https://www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook 🚨 Head to https://www.ooyes.love and use code TABOO20 for 20% off at checkout! 💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser