About this episode
We all want to be happy—but so many of the ways we chase happiness actually leave us more disconnected, burnt out, or empty than before. In this episode, we’ll walk through five of the most common happiness traps: the things we do to feel better that often make us feel worse. Along the way, we’ll explore what Nietzsche, Marx, and modern Slovenian philosopher Slavoj Žižek have to say about the pursuit of joy. Then, we’ll turn to one of the longest-running studies on happiness to ask the big question: when it comes to feeling good, what actually works? No one has the secret to happiness. But a lot of smart people have said a lot of smart things that might help you feel better and access a little more joy. Let’s talk about it. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro 01:18 Break 03:22 5 happiness traps 03:27 1. Overconsumption 06:00 Overconsumption starts with scarcity programming 07:11 Nietzsche & overconsumption as a way to fill the void 10:37 2. Chasing achievements 11:46 Slavoj Zizek and the duty to enjoy the grind 13:26“Don’t be ridiculous, Andrea. Everyone wants this.” 14:18 Superego injunction: “a million girls would kill to have this job” 15:22 On using a lack of happiness as fuel to grind 15:56 3. Comparison 18:11 Downward social comparison 22:12 4. Self- and symptom-focused spiritual practices 22:55 Marx on how economic systems shape values 23:28 Self-centered spirituality in the West 24:41 Spirituality as a bandaid vs a root cause solution (Zizek) 25:45 5. Isolation 27:03 The hyperindividualism crisis 28:00 We owe each other stuff 28:17 We want things from each other, and we should 28:23 Harlow’s monkey study on attachment 30:13 We’re living in our own worlds 31:28 So what DOES work? 31:57 Harvard happiness study 35:13 Challenge 36:19 Lightning round recap MY LINKS • MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now • Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop • Let’s hang on tour!! • Join me in Bali June 1-7! • Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram • Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok