169: When Caretaking Becomes Compulsive – How to Break Free from the Urge to Help Everyone Except Yourself

Are you tired of holding it all together for everyone else? In this deeply personal episode, Dr. Alison explores the hidden ache of emotional caretaking—the quiet ways we overfunction, over-give, and overlook our own needs to keep the peace. Whether it started in childhood or has become a way of coping in adult relationships, many of us have learned to survive by tending to others while slowly disappearing ourselves. Alison shares what she’s learning about her own inner caretaker and gently invites you to reconnect with the parts of you that are tired, weary, and worthy of care. This isn’t about walking away from the people you love—it’s about learning to stay grounded in yourself as you care well for others. This episode explores: Why emotional caretaking can feel like love—but quietly wears you down How childhood dynamics shape your adult urge to fix, help, or rescue What most people get wrong about “self-care” The hidden cost of always tending to others while neglecting yourself A gentle practice to reconnect with your inner caretaker—and what she needs This episode is a loving reminder: Your needs matter. Your soul deserves care. And you don’t have to carry it all alone. 📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here : 📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. Here are some other episodes you might like : Episode 138 : Breaking Free from Overfunctioning –– DIscover the Hidden Costs of Always Being the Responsible One Episode 151: The Hidden Reason You Feel Overwhelmed –– Understanding the Mental Load with Dr. Morgan Cutlip Episode 152 : The Anxiety Beneath Perfectionism –– Why Trying Harder Won’t Set You Free 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠ Quince.com/bestofyou ⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU . If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com . Reconnect with what truly matters and rediscover a purposeful life you love with Social Media Reset . Get 50% off a nightguard at checkout when you code BESTOFYOU at shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU . Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices