171: Why People Pleasing Actually Makes You Feel More Alone, and 3 Steps to Create Real Connection

Why do we work so hard to earn the approval of others? And what is it really costing us? In this candid, practical episode, Dr. Alison tackles one of the most common struggles she hears from so many of you: people pleasing . You’ll hear powerful voice messages from listeners as she explores the many forms this pattern can take—from avoiding conflict, to saying “yes” when you want to say “no,” to slowly losing sight of who you really are. Together, you’ll learn: 5 common roots of people pleasing How certain Bible verses get misused to reinforce self-erasure The high cost of people pleasing 3 simple steps to move toward wholeness 📥 Pick up your copy of The Best of You —Dr. Alison’s book on this topic here 📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. Other episodes you might like : Episode 46: People Pleasing as Survival Episode 33: People Pleasing & Developing Your Own Inner Compass Episode 14: The Fawn Response 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠ Quince.com/bestofyou ⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU . If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com . Reconnect with what truly matters and rediscover a purposeful life you love with Social Media Reset . Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices