Opt Into Gate Openers: Stop Confusing Support with Elevation (Bonus Episode)

In this bonus “love note” episode, Kelley Bonner breaks down the crucial difference between supporters — the friends and peers who cheer you on — and gate openers, the decision-makers who can truly elevate your career. Many of us confuse the two, surrounding ourselves with cheerleaders but missing the people who can actually open doors. Kelley shares personal stories, practical tips, and a simple reflection exercise to help you identify who’s in your corner, who can advance you, and how to build relationships with intention and integrity. Key Takeaways: Supporters are vital for encouragement and sustainability, but they can’t always elevate your career. Gate openers are decision-makers — executives, leaders, and people with power to create opportunities. Most of us have many supporters but very few gate openers — and that gap matters. A single gate opener can change your career trajectory. You can intentionally nurture these relationships with respect, value, and patience. Episode Highlights: 00:27 – The big question: Who’s really elevating you? 01:23 – Supporters vs. gate openers: a career conversation throwback 03:13 – Defining supporters: peers, friends, colleagues who sustain you 05:28 – Why peers can’t always “put you on” — Kelley’s government job example 06:40 – Defining gate openers: leaders with decision-making authority 08:11 – How one gate opener changed Kelley’s career trajectory 10:26 – Supporters sustain you; gate openers elevate you 12:01 – The reality: supporters are often Black women; gate openers are often men in power 14:57 – Reflection exercise: make your supporters vs. gate openers list 16:22 – Four tips for identifying and nurturing gate openers 18:19 – Building relationships with integrity, not transaction 18:53 – Closing encouragement + Substack invitation Let Us Know Take a few minutes today to write two lists: your supporters and your gate openers. Notice the gap. Then choose one potential gate opener in your orbit and begin thinking about how to nurture that relationship with intention and integrity. Support the Show Are you stepping into a “Summer of No”? Whether you’re canceling plans for rest, setting fresh boundaries, or saying no to what drains you, you don’t owe anyone guilt. Take a moment this week to capture what freedom looks like for you. Snap a pic or video of your joy and tag us: 📱 @blackgirlburnout 📧 Subscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.com 📺 Watch the episode on YouTube 💌 Show some love—don’t let Kelley’s mama be the only one dropping hearts! Have a question for our upcoming Q&A episode? [Click here to submit your questions!] Stay In Touch Want more ways to connect with the Black Girl Burnout community? ✨ Join our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley. ✨ Become a paid Substack subscriber ($8/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources and tools to support your burnout-free life. Our Sponsor: Savvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/ Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircle Our Sponsors: * Check out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy