279: Attachment Styles, Emotional Healing, and Being a Secure Lover in Marriage

If you've ever felt not good enough, feared rejection, or found yourself reacting in ways you don't even understand, this episode is for you. Marriage & family therapist Trevor ( Art of Healing by Trevor ) explains why so many couples get stuck in cycles of pursuit, shutdown, anxiety, and disconnection — and the emotional transformation required to break free. This conversation is raw, restorative, and deeply practical. In this episode you'll learn: Why fear of abandonment and "I'm not enough" beliefs show up in marriage The two classic patterns: people-pleasing pursuer + shut-down withdrawer How emotional safety outside the bedroom changes intimacy inside it How to work with your inner child to create real healing A step-by-step framework for emotional transformation How secure partners show up differently in sex, connection, and conflict Why awareness alone isn't enough — and what actually creates change Guest Links Instagram: @theartofhealingbytrevor Website: theartofhealingbytrevor.com Resources and Events Apply for the Get Your Marriage On! Program: getyourmarriageon.com/program In-Person Retreat April 2025 (We're sold out, but you can apply to get on the waitlist !) NEW Get Your Marriage On! Cruise: October 2026 Valentine's Day Weekend Virtual Retreat Men's and Women's Only Cohorts starting in January! Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.