Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens

3d ago

Are you staring at your tween or teen’s holiday wish list wondering… is it okay to say NO? When every friend seems to be getting the “cool” brands, the pricey sneakers, or the latest tech, it can feel impossible to balance your family’s values with your child’s need to fit in. This episode helps you navigate that emotional middle ground with clarity, compassion, and practical tools you can actually use. Psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and journalist Reena Ninan unpack why kids get so fixated on certain gifts, what’s really driving the comparisons, and how parents can respond with empathy… without giving in to every request. Drawing on decades of clinical experience and relatable family stories, they offer strategies that help kids feel understood and help parents stay grounded in what matters most. 💡 YOU'LL LEARN: - How to talk with your tween or teen about brand pressure and fitting in - Ways to convey your family values without shaming or shutting your child down - Practical, meaningful ideas for cultivating gratitude without lecturing - Creative compromises that balance joy, connection, and mindful consumption This season can stir up big emotions for kids and for parents. If you’re hoping to raise grounded, grateful young people while still keeping the magic of the holidays alive, this episode offers thoughtful guidance you can trust. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Episode keywords: holiday gifts, teens, tweens, gratitude, parenting, family values, wish list Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, podcast, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence

Dec 9

Middle school can be rough—emotionally, socially, and developmentally. When teasing crosses the line into cruelty, it usually puts a dent in kids’ confidence and sense of belonging. In this episode, Dr. Lisa Damour and journalist Reena Ninan unpack the complicated social dynamics of middle school, explain why meanness can become a source of power, and why empathy can be in short supply. Drawing from years of clinical experience, Dr. Lisa explains how bullying emerges, why even “good kids” sometimes join in, and what parents can do when their child is being targeted — or doing the targeting. 💡 YOU’LL LEARN: - Why middle school social insecurities can bring out the worst in kids - How and why boys weaponize words like “gay,” even in progressive communities - When (and how) to approach the school — and why restraint can sometimes help - How to support your child with empathy and validation, without rushing to “fix” it This episode will help you navigate one of parenting’s hardest moments–knowing that your child has been hurt by peers–with compassion and clarity. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Episode keywords: bullying, middle school, social dynamics, teen anxiety, friendship Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence

Dec 2

When parents divorce, how much say should a tween or teen have in deciding where they live, and how often they switch homes? Divorce is hard on everyone, but for kids it often comes with a lot of upheaval. In this episode, Dr. Lisa Damour and journalist Reena Ninan unpack what divorced parents can do to minimize the emotional toll on their kids, ease the challenge of moving back-and-forth between homes, and create arrangements that grow with their child’s needs. Drawing on decades of clinical experience, Dr. Lisa helps parents understand the situation from their child’s perspective and offers compassionate, practical strategies to reduce conflict, simplify logistics, and strengthen co-parenting teamwork. 💡 YOU’LL LEARN: - Why divorce often leaves kids feeling like “a human ping-pong ball” - What an ideal post-divorce setup looks like (and why it’s rarely possible) - How visitation schedules can evolve as tweens mature and seek more independence - How the mindset shift from “ex” to “co-parent” helps everyone Whether you’re newly divorced or years into co-parenting, this episode will help you see the challenges through your child’s eyes and remind you that stability, empathy, and teamwork make all the difference. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Episode keywords: divorce, co-parenting, tween emotions, family transitions, custody tips Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence

Nov 25

When your child lies about homework, screen time, or where they’ve been, it can feel like a punch to the gut. But what if lying isn’t a sign of bad character, and instead a normal part of growing up? In this encore episode of “Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens and Teens,” psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and journalist Reena Ninan look at lying from a developmental standpoint and help parents understand what’s really going on when kids bend the truth. A request for privacy doesn’t always mean something sneaky, and your response can make all the difference in whether your child learns to be honest. 💡 YOU’LL LEARN: - Why kids lie (and what their lies may be trying to protect) - Ways to make truth-telling feel safe in your home - How to model integrity and forgiveness when mistakes happen - What it really means for kids to develop a healthy conscience Originally released in 2021, this encore episode feels just as timely today for parents navigating honesty, trust, and growing independence. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Episode keywords: teen lying, why kids lie, child honesty, parenting trust, tween behavior Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence

Nov 18

It’s not always easy to be a seventh grade boy. Their confidence may be fragile, they tend to lag behind girls in terms of pubertal development, and at school-a place that can feel like it's built for girls- boys may start to feel like they’re falling behind. When that happens, they can become vulnerable to harmful influences and start adopting views–even sexist ones–that can worry parents. In this episode, psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and journalist Reena Ninan unpack what’s really going on developmentally for boys in early adolescence, and how parents can respond with empathy and understanding instead of fear or frustration. You’ll learn why boys often struggle more in school at this age, how their neurological growth differs from girls’, and what you can do to protect your son’s confidence and values as he grows into himself. 💡 YOU’LL LEARN: - Why seventh-grade boys face unique biological and neurological challenges - How school environments can unintentionally favor girls’ developmental strengths - How figures like Andrew Tate prey on boys’ vulnerability, and what parents can do about it - How to keep communication open and help boys find confidence in healthy ways This episode is a must-watch for any parent of a tween or teen boy who wants to understand what’s really happening beneath the surface — and how to support his growth with empathy and confidence. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Episode keywords: boys, puberty, development, self-esteem, sexism, parenting Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence

Nov 11

When your hormones are downshifting and your teen’s hormones are surging, it can feel like an emotional collision course. If you’ve ever wondered why your tween or teen seems moody, distant, or irritated (and you’re also running out of patience and estrogen), this episode is for you. Psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and journalist Reena Ninan unpack the double whammy of puberty and menopause under one roof: Why it feels so intense, what’s actually happening biologically, and how families can navigate it with more empathy and less guilt. Lisa also opens up about her personal experience with menopause and how finally seeking treatment changed everything. 💡 YOU’LL LEARN: - Why menopause symptoms are real medical symptoms, and what kinds of treatment and support to ask for - What’s normal about your teen’s mood swings and distance - How to connect with your teen, even if they don’t want to talk - How understanding the hormonal and developmental changes in both generations can ease the tension at home This episode helps parents understand what’s normal for their teens (and what’s happening within themselves) so they can respond with more calm, connection, and compassion. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Episode keywords: puberty, menopause, perimenopause, parenting teens, hormones, family dynamics Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence

Nov 4

If your tween or teen lies awake with worries spinning in their mind, or if you’ve wondered whether it’s anxiety, hormones, or something more, this episode is for you. Dr. Lisa Damour and journalist Reena Ninan break down why anxiety and sleep are so deeply connected, and how parents can help kids find calm at night without turning bedtime into a battleground. In this compassionate conversation, Dr. Lisa explains what’s normal about changing sleep patterns during puberty, when to worry about anxiety, and how to help your teen create healthy routines that set them up for better rest and less stress. 💡 YOU’LL LEARN: - Why teens naturally want to stay up later (and why that’s normal)- How anxiety and sleeplessness feed each other- Practical strategies to help teens wind down before bed- How to talk with your child about what’s really worrying them- Ways to normalize anxiety so kids don’t feel “broken” when they struggle Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Episode keywords: teen sleep, anxiety, bedtime, parenting, mental health, sleep hygiene Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence

Oct 28

How do you tell your teen not to drink or use weed… while also letting them know they can let you know if they’ve made a bad choice? It can feel impossible to balance rules with approachability. In this episode, psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and journalist Reena Ninan unpack how to have open, judgment-free conversations about alcohol and marijuana--conversations that keep kids safe and keep communication flowing. Substance use among teens can feel scary and overwhelming, especially with today’s high-potency marijuana and the social pressure to experiment. Dr. Lisa shares science-based guidance that helps parents know when to start these talks, what messages really matter, and how to model healthy behavior at home. 💡 YOU’LL LEARN: - Why it’s best to start the substance conversation early — ideally around 7th grade - How to frame the discussion around safety instead of punishment or judgment - What to say about the risks of alcohol and marijuana for the developing brain - How to respond if your teen says, “But you drink,” or “Everyone does it” - How to keep communication open so your teen knows they can always call you, no matter what Warm, practical, and grounded in real science, this episode gives parents a roadmap for navigating one of the hardest (and most important) conversations you’ll ever have. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Episode keywords: teen substance use, weed, alcohol, parenting advice, teen safety Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence