Episode 109: Hurts So Good – Why We Seek Pain On Purpose

A masochist is someone who derives pleasure from the experience of pain. While we often think of masochism as being a purely sexual thing, it’s actually a pervasive part of everyday life. From the long-distance marathon runner to the person who covers their entire body in tattoos to the person who douses all of their food in hot sauce, there are countless examples of people intentionally inflicting pain on themselves—and getting some pleasure out of it at the same time. So why is that? We’re going to do a deep dive into the psychology of masochism today. I am joined today by Leigh Cowart, a researcher and journalist whose work has appeared in The Washington Post , New York Magazine , Popular Science , and more. Leigh’s latest book is titled Hurts So Good: The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose . Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: Why do so many of us choose to suffer? Are we all masochists to some degree? Why do humans experience pain anyway? What is the adaptive value of it? Why is pain sometimes sexually arousing? How can pain enhance sex? Why do some people seek out more intense pain than others? Where does all of the shame and stigma around masochism (particularly sexual masochism) come from? When can pain-seeking behavior be healthy, and when can it become a problem? To learn more about Leigh, follow her on the socials @voraciousbrain and be sure to get a copy of her book Hurts So Good Thanks to FirmTech ( myfirmtech.com ) and the Kinsey Institute ( kinseyinstitute.org ) for sponsoring this episode! FirmTech’s Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase. The Kinsey Institute’s ( kinseyinstitute.org ) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate . *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook , Twitter , or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram . Listen and stream all episodes on Apple , Spotify , Google , or Amazon . Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Chris Sowa (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.