Healing for Betrayed Partners with a Sexually Abusive Past (PART 2)

This is PBSE Episode 295—When betrayal trauma collides with a history of childhood sexual abuse, partners often feel doubly overwhelmed, carrying both the scars of the past and the pain of the present. Silence, a survival strategy from childhood, often resurfaces in marriage, leaving betrayed partners afraid to voice their needs for fear of conflict or abandonment. But silence only deepens the trauma. Healing begins when partners reclaim their voices, practicing authentic expression of their feelings and needs without falling into nagging or control. Pressure, when it comes from truth and transparency, is not harmful—it can be the very catalyst that sparks real change in the addicted spouse. For betrayed partners, it is equally vital to build strong outside support systems—through therapy, 12-step groups, trusted friends, or recovery programs—that provide safety and perspective when their spouse cannot. This network enables them to “dial back” intimacy in unsafe moments, protecting themselves while remaining authentic and ready to re-engage when conditions improve. Boundaries and outside support affirm their worth and help them separate their healing from their partner’s recovery. Addicts, for their part, must wake up and embrace full accountability. Complacency, secrecy, or half-hearted efforts only reinforce old wounds and destroy trust. Healing requires daily transparency, empathy, and proactive recovery work, not only to restore safety for the partner but also to live in integrity and peace. Though the journey is complex and painful, when both partners commit to these principles, the relationship can move beyond mere survival toward deeper connection, authenticity, and lasting healing. For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: Healing for Betrayed Partners with a Sexually Abusive Past (PART 2) Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at— daretoconnectnow.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services