Episodes

Nov 5, 2024

Andi goes to a fancy dinner while Chris returns to Vegas

Oct 7, 2024

Andi walks out of a movie and Chris names off the countries he's been to. (It's a short list)

Sep 30, 2024

Chris and Andi are back!! For how long?? Who knows??? See where they've been!! Have your questions answered!!

Feb 6, 2024

Andi and Chris return after three long months and man, has a lot happened. Was Chris being trained by the CIA? Did Andi get abducted by natives while on Safari? The answer is no to both of those, but find out what HAS happened in this episode.

Nov 4, 2023

Chris goes to a charity golf event and Andi sings her version of America the Beautiful in this freedom fueled episode.

Oct 7, 2023

Andi comes back from Mexico unscathed and Chris has another epic week on the road.

Sep 18, 2023

Andi and Chris...and the echo...are back...again. Andi's been sick and Chris has been living the dream. It's a very Yin and Yang episode.

Aug 19, 2023

Chris and Andi discuss Oppenheimer and the difference between 'empathic' and 'empathetic'. ...it's funnier than it sounds.

Jul 28, 2023

Andi & Chris are back! Chris has been on hiatus and Andi is getting weird on Twitch! It's a good one!

Jun 25, 2023

Andi wants to bang a goat man on her video game and Chris reminisces about UTIs. It's a weird one.

Jun 10, 2023

Andi is balls deep in the new Zelda game, Dad calls in, and Chris goes to a Tampa Bay Rays game.

Jun 4, 2023

Andi tells us about bouncing her chin off a roller rink floor and hears Chris laugh all the way from Florida.

May 20, 2023

Chris goes to New York City (get a rope) and Andi doesn't know what the hell she did.

May 6, 2023

Chris dials in from yet another mall town and Andi has clean teeth but you wouldn't know it cause the video didn't record!!!

Apr 15, 2023

Chris finds out that Bob Villa is still alive and Andi gets real descriptive about Otto's butthole.

Apr 5, 2023

Chris and Andi talk about...you know what...I'm not even sure at this point, but I'm sure it was funny. The echo returns for a few minutes in the beginning and then works itself out.

Mar 17, 2023

Andi and Chris go to Vegas and have two very different trips getting there.

Mar 8, 2023

Chris and Andi talk about the world champion Kansas City Chiefs and moms that are gross.

Feb 11, 2023

Andi gets to practice having tinnitus while Chris goes on tour with Bert Kreisher.

Jan 31, 2023

Chris explains why the Buffalo Bills lost and Andi sleeps through an earthquake.

Jan 24, 2023

Chris goes to Disneyland and Andi goes to a birthday party...for a dog.

Jan 11, 2023

Oak Park Mall sucks, Chris refuses to wear turtlenecks and Andi invents Chicken Pops.

Dec 29, 2022

Andi makes a new TikTok drink and Chris has a weird echo that we couldn't fix! Happy holidays!!!

Dec 3, 2022

Chris and Andi are back - in pod form! The sibs are back in person and tell stories about the times they got the most high.

Nov 17, 2022

It's all in the title why are you even reading this.

Oct 25, 2022

Chris and Andi finally figure out how to do the podcast remotely! To view the video podcast head to our socials IG: @onemillionthpod and Twitter: @1millionthpod

Oct 9, 2022

Andi drank old protein and took the SAT, Chris has a Tom Brady conspiracy theory, and a Juggalette writes in.

Oct 1, 2022

Chris and Andi go on about old mix-tape infomercials from the 90’s and Chris just doesn’t understand kids today.

Sep 26, 2022

Chris uses terrible metaphors, it confuses Andi. Unrelated she finally learns what batting a thousand means.

Sep 17, 2022

Andi and Chris have quite the trip to Kansas City and then they talk about movie sequels and stadium names.

Sep 2, 2022

Chris gets a hat box and Andi is into the sleaze bags at music festivals, and they both lament on the rules of their childhood road trips.

Aug 27, 2022

Chris and Andi talk about Pimp My Ride and horrible LA audiences.

Aug 18, 2022

Andi talks about energy drinks she had in high school and Chris goes on about his favorite Mary Kay face wash.

Aug 12, 2022

Chris and Andi give advice on what records should start a collection. Spoiler Alert: It’s a lot of Nelly Furtado.

Aug 8, 2022

Andi underestimates the power of the sun, Chris learns how canned foods work, and there are just too many farts.

Jul 17, 2022

Chris goes off on Ansel Adams and Andi did a um… stuff? And it was uhhhhhhnn… stuff… words are hard.

Jul 6, 2022

Andi and Chris are joined by their Dad, Scott. They talk ad nauseam about Terrence Trent Darby and other people who haven’t been in the zeitgeist for decades.

Jun 23, 2022

Andi gets confused about Trader Joe’s, Chris is all boned up over John Larroquette, and they reminisce about Holidomes.

Jun 16, 2022

Chris and Andi go on so many rants about malls. Most of them are good. The rants… not the malls. Well, maybe the malls. Why are you still reading this just listen and find out.

Jun 2, 2022

Chris and Andi learn German and they ruin the ending for No Time to Die, even though neither of them have seen it.

May 27, 2022

Andi is highly caffeinated and Chris still hates Hollywood.

May 19, 2022

Chris and Andi want to bring Kurt Loder back to MTV News.

May 6, 2022

Chris comes up with a new instagram handle for Scott Disick and Andi can’t think of the word “endorse”.

Apr 29, 2022

Chris and Andi are back with tales from the road (Chris) and the crypt (Andi).

Apr 2, 2022

Chris brings up Casey at the Bat for the first time ever and Andi is taking a wizz again in Margaritaville.

Mar 25, 2022

If you think Chris and Andi take a lot of lefts, you should hear about this kid in Miami.

Mar 17, 2022

Chris and Andi talk mega-spiders, breastfeeding adults and horse-sized ducks.

Mar 11, 2022

Forgive the amount of phlegm but let’s be real, we’re lucky there’s an episode this week. And don’t miss Chris and Andi at this year’s Potty-Con in Sheboygan, WI where they’ll be signing headshots of David Copperfield.

Feb 23, 2022

Andi educates Chris on lip fillers, and Chris got slighted by a cab driver in Buffalo.

Feb 16, 2022

Chris reminisces about the last time he ate a fruit 10 years ago and Andi has a group chat that is popping off on the daily

Feb 8, 2022

Chris has to differentiate between ‘commercial’ and ‘private’ flights and Andi fell down. Then they talk about what kind of horses to eat.

Feb 2, 2022

Chris has notes on Andi’s bath time routine and Andi explains the difference between pasties and tassels. This is a blissful episode after the Bills game and before the Bengals game… they were happier then.

Jan 26, 2022

Chris has it out for cucumber water and Andi would rather eat ass than drink a PBR.

Jan 19, 2022

Chris has a bougie week at home and Andi totally nails the Home Depot theme song.

Jan 6, 2022

Chris and Andi talk about the Saints Row and Assassins Creed games ad nauseam. Also they are absolutely curb stomped about the loss of Betty White.

Dec 29, 2021

Chris and Andi talk about how children can’t appreciate the arts and how nuts marathon runners are.

Dec 16, 2021

Andi has a big problem with the Friends theme song on HBO Max and Chris has a wild weekend in Arizona.

Dec 8, 2021

Chris has his first Philly cheesesteak and Andi helps him redecorate the living room. Is there more exciting stuff they talk about? Yes, but you have to listen to find out. This is called a “teaser”.

Dec 1, 2021

Chris is outraged at how inflation has affected the Cheesecake Factory, and the pod gets the best email it’s ever received. Brought to you by backattacksnacks.com

Oct 29, 2021

Chris and Andi get drunk and it’s a real ramble fest. Listen as the Porters make the most of a Friday night!

Oct 20, 2021

Chris wants an Alf origins story and the Porters discuss if Fleshlights are recyclable. We’re having fun, kids.

Oct 13, 2021

Chris went to Tampa and gets a taste of his own foot while Andi went to a scorching hot play in North Hollywood. It’s not all glitz and glamour, folks.

Oct 6, 2021

Andi tries out Chris’ bidet on the air and Chris got a f**king sound pad.

Sep 17, 2021

Andi tries to get Chris into The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and Chris is making some big life upgrades. Fill your ear holes with some sweet, sweet banter.

Sep 3, 2021

This is now a Below Deck discussion podcast. Yes we know that the title has nothing to do with Below Deck. Deal with it, turds.

Aug 25, 2021

Chris and Andi are in Kansas City and Chris talks about The Black Crowes ad nauseam. They also discuss how many soft serve cones one can eat in a day (it’s around 18).

Aug 18, 2021

Chris has many airport annoyances and Andi convinced her friend that the emergency number in California is 912. Also there’s a new contest where you get to re-name a guy who has no balls.

Aug 11, 2021

The Porters discuss Andi’s 23 and Me results and what happened when Chris asked their Grandma about stretch marks.

Aug 3, 2021

Chris spent his weekend in a seedy hotel and Andi does a spot on, exactly perfect impression of Chris. Swear to gah you’ll think it’s him.

Jul 28, 2021

Brad Williams stops by to talk with Chris and Andi about renaissance festivals, John Mayer and how to pronounce Worcestershire.

Jul 21, 2021

Chris and Andi are on a Dave’s Hot Chicken kick… and they got burned bad by some way too hot sammiches.

Jul 14, 2021

Andi is trying to get the family down to the Margaritaville Resort and Chris struggles with reverse ATMs.

Jun 22, 2021

About once a podcast Andi gestures to Chris to clear his throat, and he does it every single time without an attitude. That was sarcasm!This time she didn’t edit it out of the pod. Oh and they talk about concerts and stuff.

Jun 16, 2021

Chris and Andi learn how they got Mr. Ed to talk and Andi does a scratcher ticket live on the pod.

Jun 9, 2021

Chris and Andi really gross each other out and make fun of a guy who uses a word they don’t know.

Jun 2, 2021

Chris and Andi have gone out with the loaves and came back with the fairy cakes.

May 18, 2021

Chris and Andi talk about the popularity of Riverdance, Ska, and you know what why don’t you listen for your own damn self to find out what else.

May 13, 2021

Chris and Andi talk about snakes, North Carolina BBQ and Genghis Khan’s genealogy.

May 5, 2021

Chris and Andi talk about how she’s an incredible gift giver, and Chris tries to decorate his apartment at Costco.

Apr 28, 2021

Chris and Andi are joined by two guests and we talk about bad things we mistake for good things. It's pretty funny for how tired they all are.

Apr 21, 2021

Chris and Andi talk about boy bands and pasta… what’s not to love?

Apr 13, 2021

Chris and Andi talk about foods that excited them as kids and a bar in Nashville called Santa’s Pub.

Mar 30, 2021

Chris and Andi have their first guest who isn’t a blood relative: Zach Myers from Shinedown is here to discuss pubes, working out and flying.

Mar 23, 2021

Chris narrowly escaped death and Andi teaches you how to get around a paywall.

Mar 17, 2021

Chris and Andi talk about the Bobbitt’s and then they argue over burgers.

Mar 9, 2021

Chris and Andi give movie reviews and they also discuss the wide world of Magic.

Mar 2, 2021

Chris and Andi talk about The Eagles at length and they're not sorry.

Feb 24, 2021

Chris and Andi reminisce about the good ol' days of car jousting.

Feb 17, 2021

Chris and Andi are still emotionally and internally recovering from that Super Bowl.

Feb 2, 2021

Chris and Andi discuss what they love: late night steaks and kleptomania, respectively.

Jan 26, 2021

Chris and Andi wax nostalgic on family vacations.

Jan 19, 2021

Chris talks about why ESPN is so great and he also explains how Andi got her nickname.

Jan 12, 2021

Andi has a new jacket that gives her a new skill and Chris has some thoughts on drone betting.

Dec 30, 2020

Chris and Andi go to the dentist!

Dec 21, 2020

For our 75th episode we're going back to one of our favorite episodes! Enjoy this while we enjoy a week off and we'll be back with fresh shit on December 28th.

Dec 18, 2020

Chris has a lame new fact about Mount Everest, and Andi proves how little she knows about Mount Everest.

Dec 7, 2020

Chris and Andi and talk and talk and talk about all kinds of things. If you’re so curious just listen you nosy little s**t.

Nov 23, 2020

This week Chris got pulled over by bike cops and totally unrelated Chris and Andi Crime Tips. As always The One Millionth Podcast is brought to you by Back Attack Snacks!

Nov 16, 2020

Chris would make a horrible forensic scientist and Andi has a science surprise (she knows the periodic table... kind of.)

Nov 10, 2020

Andi learns where Georgia is and Chris wants to send her to math camp.

Nov 3, 2020

Chris has a plan for the murder hornets and Andi tried the Mountain Dewgarita. Spoiler alert: it sucked ass.

Oct 27, 2020

Chris and Andi talk about the actual shelf life of Twinkies and a bunch of other shit.

Oct 20, 2020

Andi takes a stab at what the wind sounds like and Chris describes what’ll happen if we clone tacos.

Oct 13, 2020

Chris and Andi talk nature docs and did you know Chubby Checker is still alive?

Oct 5, 2020

Chris won't ever date a bank teller and Andi details a slumber party mishap.

Sep 28, 2020

Chris and Andi talk about home security and how to get drugs in Ireland's countryside.

Sep 21, 2020

Chris and Andi come up with new fantasy football team names and they (kind of) educate themselves on Tuberculosis.

Sep 14, 2020

Chris and Andi bring the haha's while the world burns around them.

Sep 8, 2020

Chris and Andi both did drive-ins full of dudes.

Sep 1, 2020

Chris and Andi get drunk.

Aug 24, 2020

Chris and Andi are losing their minds in a heat wave.

Aug 17, 2020

Chris and Andi talk about hallucinogenics... a lot.

Aug 10, 2020

Chris and Andi figure out why the f**k theres so many streets named Chevy Chase.

Aug 3, 2020

Andi introduces Chris to the worst parts of Spiderman 3 and Chris has earthquake preparedness tips: you just gotta quick step it.

Jul 28, 2020

Andi teaches Chris how to do a software update... tune in for more thrilling content!

Jul 20, 2020

Chris and Andi are being tested by Taco Bell.

Jul 13, 2020

Chris and Andi invite their hilarious cousins on to the pod to discuss The Dinner Party episode of The Office, followed by a heated debate on the Cyruses (Cyrus'? Who cares.)

Jul 8, 2020

Mom and Dad join Chris and Andi on the pod... this oughta be good.

Jun 30, 2020

Andi almost fell for a goof and Chris mispronounces Fauci like an idiot.

Jun 23, 2020

Chris and Andi discuss great Father's Day gifts... you know, because Father's Day was yesterday.

Jun 15, 2020

Chris and Andi discuss shitty country songs they love and Dad's favorite sandwich.

Jun 8, 2020

Chris and Andi talk about their day, their month and even their year *clap clap clap*

Jun 1, 2020

Recorded May 27th, 2020. We hope this can give you respite from the news for a moment. To our friends of color: We hear you. We stand with you. We will fight with you. #BLM

May 26, 2020

Chris and Andi have a lot to say about dolls.

May 18, 2020

Chris and Andi discuss hot sammiches and how a glass factory is the best place to dispose of bodies.

May 11, 2020

Chris very recently learned that rice is good with Mexican food and Andi's eyes rolled so hard they fell out of her face.

May 4, 2020

Chris and Andi say some words and learn some others. Join them on this journey to nowhere.

Apr 27, 2020

Chris and Andi break down the difference between Karens and Janets... because honestly what the eff else is going on. Also their Dad can eat a butt.

Apr 20, 2020

Okay okay OKAY! We admit it... DMB f**ks.

Apr 13, 2020

No, those were not the exact words that came out of Chris' mouth, and yes, Andi writes these captions.

Apr 6, 2020

Chris and Andi have been up to (war huh good god y'all what is it good for) absolutely nothing.

Mar 30, 2020

Andi finally watched Shawshank Redemption and Chris really misses being inside Chipotle.

Mar 23, 2020

Chris and Andi wash their hands and stay inside. Be like Chris and Andi.

Mar 16, 2020

Chris and Andi start a multi-million dollar idea company. They're idea guys now.

Mar 9, 2020

Chris struggled with an old XBox, Andi went on a neat distillery tour and they both tell more drug stories.

Mar 2, 2020

Chris hates geometry and Andi got a bidet... or as Chris calls them "asshole washers".

Feb 24, 2020

Chris and Andi learn a lot about vaginal mesh.

Feb 17, 2020

It was a long week without football but luckily the XFL is here... and we announce the fan name winners!

Feb 10, 2020

The Chiefs won the mother f**king Super Bowl!

Feb 3, 2020

Good luck with this one, folks.

Jan 27, 2020

Chris spent the weekend in America's wang and Andi met The Fonz.

Jan 20, 2020

Chris and Andi redecorate Chris' living room and you can't see what they're doing... you'll love it.

Jan 6, 2020

Chris and Andi tell stories from the holiday break and even sing some snappy tunes along the way.

Dec 23, 2019

Chris nearly throws up from words and Andi’s frontal lobe is out of the office.

Dec 16, 2019

Chris and Andi found the perfect Christmas sweater for your grandma and they discuss the hottest new video game.

Dec 9, 2019

Chris and Andi learn some basic geography and Chris is reckless with his laser eyes.

Dec 2, 2019

Chris and Andi talk cars and crime tips. Chris puts an unflattering pic of Andi on the big screen. (check it out on IG)

Nov 26, 2019

We're talking about things that are gross.

Nov 19, 2019

Chris and Andi talk about their haunted house and they invent a new genre of horror films.

Nov 11, 2019

EXTREME CONTENT WARNING: We talk about the difference between a dresser and a chest of drawers.

Nov 4, 2019

We spend entirely too much time discussing the Nissan Juke. Also you should edit that out, that was stupid.

Oct 28, 2019

You'll never believe this but we talk about Taco Bell again.

Oct 21, 2019

Seriously, what were we just talking about?

Oct 14, 2019

We've got a winner for the Jonah Hillain contest and we surprised our folks.

Oct 7, 2019

Chris went skydiving and Andi has some grave plans.

Sep 30, 2019

Chris' foot falls asleep and he suffers. Andi is pleased.

Sep 23, 2019

Andi wants cult shoes and Chris' brain decides to take a sabbatical.

Sep 16, 2019

Chris and Andi are super psyched on a conveyor belt full of cheese.

Sep 9, 2019

Chris actually does a good accent for once and Andi still hasn't watched Shawshank Redemption.

Sep 2, 2019

Chris tells mushroom stories and Andi talks about "maintenance".

Aug 27, 2019

3am weddings and when to change your underwear (it’s everyday).

Aug 19, 2019

Chris and Andi get heated over dessert.

Aug 12, 2019

Andi is on a lot of Sudafed and Chris isn't donating to your Go Fund Me. That means you, Amanda Knox.

Aug 5, 2019

Chris learns how girls pee in rompers and Andi gets a brand new fear.

Jul 29, 2019

Chris wants to make his own sausage but doesn't want to know how it's made and Andi is jealous of a toddler.

Jul 22, 2019

Chris learns how to say Heiress and Andi describes her tumultuous upbringing.

Jul 15, 2019

Andi tells us about going to see Hootie & the Blowfish and running a 5k while Chris drinks tequila and tries to hold on.

Jul 8, 2019

Chris proves he can't cook and we learn Andi's dying wish.

Jun 24, 2019

Chris and Andi introduce themselves to the world and discuss Everest, weird Kansas strip clubs, and more!