Episodes

5d ago

On this episode, Heather is back from her Parisian getaway with Jackie Schimmel. She chats about her very adult gift decisions, how she tried to bamboozle the Hermes sales associate, the French version of Erewohn, and where she wants to travel to next. She takes on your voicemails about grandparents during the holidays,secret santa woes, and of course, Christmas trees people. She then chats about the Bamboozled Tour. Episode Sponsors: Find gifts so good you'll want to keep them with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Give the gift of confidence this holiday season with Nutrafol. Whether you’re treating yourself for someone on your list, visibly healthier, thicker hair is the gift that keeps on giving. Right now, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription plus free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and use promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/ABSOLUTELY and using code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly. For additional information, visit Kahlua.com and follow @Kahlua on Instagram. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media . See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 10

On this episode, Heather welcomes friend and interior design extraordinaire, Jared Hughes. Jared and Heather chat about how he got into design with his 6th grade bedroom, how to make sure you get the best antiques from your aging relatives, and how to work an estate sale. They take on the voicemails about holiday etiquette and gift giving. Episode Sponsors: Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly. For additional information, visit Kahlua.com and follow @Kahlua on Instagram. Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. The holidays are closer than ever, so make sure you order by December 16th to get their gift (or yours) underneath the tree in time! Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT to take advantage of this limited-time offer for up to 20% off your next purchase. Non-Toxic cookware made modern. For a limited time, Prolon is offering listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. Shop my favorite pajamas at SKIMS.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you! Select "podcast" in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. And if you’re looking for the perfect gifts for everyone on your list - the SKIMS Holiday Shop is now open at SKIMS.com. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media . See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 3

On this episode, Heather is back in LA and welcomes Atsuko Okatsuka to the pod. Heather has shown up to the recording dress in her last dusty Brooks and Dunn t-shirt, while Atsuko is in a full conductor designer outfit with a shrimp bolo tie. They debate whether or not they are brain rotting being on their phone all the time on tour, ridiculous personal Yelp reviews, and if it's better to have a bird in the hand or two in a bush. They also connect on their love of Lucille Ball. You can catch Atsuko on tour as well as her new Hulu special, Father. Episode Sponsors: Want to see more of our adventures, laughs, and post-round FRESCAMixed vibes? Follow @FrescaMixed on Instagram and YouTube for more. Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly. To explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsuranc.com/absolutely. This is a Paid Advertisement. Insurance is underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company or UnitedStates Fire Insurance Company, and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency, Limited. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. Find gifts so good you'll want to keep them with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Join the loyalty program for renters at joinbilt.com/absolutely. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you. Goodwipes is giving away FREE wipes! Want to try a FREE pack of Goodwipes? Just buy a pack at Target, Walmart, Kroger — or your local store—then head to goodwipes.com/absolutely, text them your receipt and get reimbursed! Goodwipes —because butts deserve better. Get yourself and your loved ones the best gift of all - the gift of clean with Branch Basics! For a limited time only, our listeners get 15% off and Free Shipping on their premium starter pack when you use code ABSOLUTELY at BranchBasics.com/ABSOLUTELY. PLEASE support our show and tell them we sent you. Get Branch Basics this Holiday Season, because cleanliness matters. Produced by Dear Media . See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 26

On this episode replay from 2021, we're having a post-thanksgiving bitch fest because everyone has been forced into unwanted family-time and now we're all chain-smoking near the garage. IT'S A MESS. It's time to reboot bitches, and take some time for yourself-because if we don't, we won't make it out of the holiday's alive! Episode Sponsors: Shop my favorite pajamas at SKIMS.com . and if you’re looking for the perfect gifts for everyone on your list - the SKIMS Holiday Shop is now open at SKIMS.com Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. For Absolutely Not listeners, you can get 20% off your first order at curehydration.com/absolutely with code absolutely. You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/ABSOLUTELY and using code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly. EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE WhisperVibe™ OR a FREE Rose toy with any Whisper™ order at https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/absolutely-podcast . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 19

On this episode, Heather is suffering from a wine headache, but ready to recap her weekend in Oxford for the Ole Miss game. She chats about the Lane Kiffin conspiracies of Gators, LSU and Theo Von. She takes on the voicemails from people seeking gay bar advice, an unlikely cease and desist, and what it’s like to have your life flash before your eyes. Episode Sponsors: Pick up GOODLES on your next shopping trip… it’s available nationwide at Target and Walmart, plus many other major grocery stores and retailers. Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT to take advantage of this limited-time offer for up to 20% off your next purchase. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Treat yourself or someone special to the most comfortable and innovative bras on earth this holiday season. Save 20% off sitewide at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY . For a limited time, Wildgrain is offering our listeners $30 off your first box - PLUS free Croissants in every box - when you go to Wildgrain.com/ABSOLUTELY to start your subscription. For a limited time only, our listeners get 15% off and Free Shipping on their premium starter pack when you use code ABSOLUTELY at BranchBasics.com/ABSOLUTELY . For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when when you go to nutrafol.com/absolutelynot . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 12

On this episode, Heather is coming off the high of the LA show, as well as the Dodger’s World Series Win, but also the low of fighting for her life with some sort of stomach bug in Austin. Heather also has a HUGE family announcement that is causing anxiety but all the excitement. She takes voicemails from Ole Miss tailgaters, Trader Joe’s virgins as well as a show-goer who needed medical attention. Episode Sponsors: Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Visit ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when when you go to nutrafol.com/absolutelynot . For a limited time, Boulevard is offering new customers 20% off your first year subscription. Go to JoinBLVD.com to learn more. Earn points on rent and around your neighborhood, wherever you call home, by going to joinbilt.com/absolutely . Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly. Get 15% off your first order of $100 or more at hillhousehome.com with code ABSOLUTELY15. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 5

On this episode, Heather is in NYC after a slew of shows across Texas, Kentucky and Ohio. So many characters came out to the show, but nothing like Midland Moms drunk on Mountain Dew Margaritas. We also get a Texas Tony update! She takes voicemails from an unlikely DUI charge, doulas dilemmas, debates about starting a travel show. Episode Sponsors: Right now, ABSOLUTELY NOT listeners can save 30% on their first order! Just head to cornbreadhemp.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Find your fall staples at Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutely . Want to try a FREE pack of Goodwipes? Just buy a pack at Target, Walmart, Kroger—or your local store—then head to goodwipes.com/ABSOLUTELY , text them your receipt and get reimbursed! EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE Rose suction toy with their order at https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/absolutely-podcast Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 29

On this episode, Heather and Raymond welcome Dog the Bounty Hunter and his late wife, Beth to the pod. They threw together their costumes in 20 minutes to make for a ridiculous take on these two TLC legends. The chat about their favorite movie theatre snacks and how they will never be as put together as Mary Beth Barone and Benito Skinner. They take a voicemail about a very controversial type of baptism. Episode Sponsors: You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/ABSOLUTELY and using code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. If you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. For a limited time, Wildgrain is offering our listeners $30 off your first box - PLUS free Croissants in every box - when you go to Wildgrain.com/ABSOLUTELY to start your subscription. Get started free, plus get 20% off your first 6 months at Quo.com/ABSOLUTELY . Find your fall staples at Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 22

This week, we’re taking it back to one of the most iconic episodes in Absolutely Not history: Burnt My Grundle. In this replay, Heather relives the madness of a piping hot Starbucks to the lap, and goes through some of the most chaotic voicemails. If you’re new here, buckle up. If you’re an OG, you already know this one is a classic. Episode Sponsors: Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Shop my favorite bras and underwear at SKIMS.com . Earn points on rent and around your neighborhood, wherever you call home, by going to joinbilt.com/absolutely To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutely . Visit join joinBLVD.com to learn more about Boulevard and book a demo to see if it’s right for your business. Right now, ABSOLUTELY NOT listeners can save 30% on their first order! Just head to cornbreadhemp.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 16

On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta after the UNWELL weekend in Vegas . She had two insane shows in Florida, flew Breeze nonstop to the Cosmo, and then hung out with Alex Cooper and every housewife you can imagine. While God is good, someone is testing her or has put on a voodoo hex. Rigs is back in the VET ER, Macaroni maybe has a UTI and the rest of our pets heads are falling off. We get voicemails from someone that's newly engaged and someone that is debating about dumping their boo over their shower routine. Episode Sponsors: Want to see more of our adventures, laughs, and post-round FRESCA Mixed vibes? Follow @FrescaMixed on Instagram and YouTube for more. Find your fall staples at Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when when you go to nutrafol.com/absolutelynot . Pick up GOODLES on your next shopping trip… it’s available nationwide at Target and Walmart, plus many other major grocery stores and retailers. Head to BranchBasics.com to shop the Premium Starter Kit and save 15% off with code ABSOLUTELY at BranchBasics.com. For Absolutely Not listeners, you can get 20% off your first order at curehydration.com/ABSOLUTELY with code ABSOLUTELY. Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 8

On this episode, Heather is fired up about the new Taylor Swift album, seeing Tate McRae in concert and all things that make being a girl the best. She chats about her amazing show in Seattle followed by a humbling flight home. She takes voicemails from other TSwift lovers, bad ass women driving themselves to their own delivery and who pilates is really made for. Episode Sponsors: Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. For a limited time, Prolon is offering listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY . This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. This World Mental Health Day, we’re celebrating the therapists who’ve helped millions of people take a step forward. If you’re ready to find the right therapist for you, BetterHelp can help you start that journey. My listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/ABSOLUTELY . Caraway’s cookware set is a favorite for a reason, it can save you up to $190 versus buying the items individually. Plus, if you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Goodwipes is giving away FREE wipes! Want to try a FREE pack of Goodwipes? Just buy a pack at Target, Walmart, Kroger—or your local store—then head to goodwipes.com/ABSOLUTELY , text them your receipt and get reimbursed! Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Want to see more of our adventures, laughs, and post-round FRESCA Mixed vibes? Follow @FrescaMixed on Instagram and YouTube for more. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 1

On this episode, Heather is back from the Ryder Cup with a few things to say. Episode Sponsors: To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutely For a limited time, Boulevard is offering new customers 20% off your first year subscription. Visit JoinBlvd.com to learn more. Earn points on rent and around your neighborhood, wherever you call home, by going to joinbilt.com/absolutely . Don't be the friend who's always complaining about feeling like garbage—do something about it with LiverMD! Head to 1MD.org and use code [ABSOLUTELY] for 15% off your first order. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when when you go to nutrafol.com/absolutelynot . Find Stouffer's in the freezer aisle today. CAKES body covers have become a staple in my wardrobe this fall. To try them for yourself, go to cakesbody.com . You can even use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your first order. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 24

On this episode, Heather is excited for the week ahead at the Ryder Cup. She is headed up to New York to host a party at the 1st tee and needs all the single girlies to come through. She also cannot wait for you to see her in the custom Ralph Lauren fits. She chats about upcoming shows- have you gotten your tickets yet?! She takes voicemails from listeners with viral video trolls, Turo rental car woes, and magnesium intake. Episode Sponsors: Right now, ABSOLUTELY NOT listeners can save 30% on their first order! Just head to cornbreadhemp.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns Use Coupon Code ABSOLUTELY for a $10 telemed Appointment at Addyi.com Head to BranchBasics.com to shop the Premium Starter Kit and save 15% off with code ABSOLUTELY at BranchBasics.com . Find Stouffer’s in the freezer aisle today. You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/ABSOLUTELY and using code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 17

On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta after hosting the EMMY’s Live from the Red Carpet for E! She chats about how hot this carpet was, the celebs and friends that she saw, and what after parties she got to hit. She dreams about her future in television and how she would crush Dancing with the Stars. We have voicemails from yacht sellers, girls with jealous SIL and a girl that finds herself in an episode of The Hunting Wives. Episode Sponsors: Go toSquarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Caraway’s cookware set is a favorite for a reason, it can save you up to $190 versus buying the items individually. Plus, if you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. For Absolutely Not listeners, Cure is offering 20% off your first order! Stay hydrated and feel your best by visiting curehydration.com/ABSOLUTELY and using promo code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Over 1.5 million people are already giving their livers the support they deserve. Don't be the friend who's always complaining about feeling like garbage—do something about it with LiverMD! Head to 1MD.org and use code [ABSOLUTELY] for 15% off your first order. Find Stouffer’s in the freezer aisle today. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 11

On this episode, Heather is coming to you from her hotel room in LA. She chats about her shows this past weekend in Omaha and Denver as well as the exciting week ahead where she will be back working with E! on the EMMY’s red carpet. She dives into your voicemails from fans in the front row, to buying an international home and whether your nail lady has your back. Episode Sponsors: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. When you enroll in an ASPCA Pet Health Insurance plan, you could get a $25 Amazon gift card. It's a little treat for you while you’re doing something great for your pet. To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutely . See thicker, stronger, faster-growing hair with less shedding in just 3-6 months with Nutrafol. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to nutrafol.com/absolutelynot . For a limited time, you can be first in line to experience the new Next Gen at special savings. Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Nutrition Program! Just visit ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY OpenPhone is offering my listeners 20% off of your first 6 months at OpenPhone.com/absolutely . Earn points on rent and around your neighborhood, wherever you call home, by going to joinbilt.com/absolutely . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 3

On this episode, Heather is in Atlanta and gearing up for a couple of wild upcoming weeks. She chats about the stresses of still living with Robin and solutions like joining a dojo or becoming a kickboxer. Decision fatigue has fully set in. She takes your voicemails about psychotic husband behavior, how to be a good neighbor, southern pronunciations, what the heck is happening with Sacramento show as well as the Unwell weekend. Episode Sponsors: Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Absolutely not going to let your liver down anymore? Head to 1MD.org and use code [ABSOLUTELY] for 15% off your first order of LiverMD. To find out what all the hype is about for yourself, go to cakesbody.com . You can even use code ABSOLUTEY for 20% off your first order this summer. Trust me, you need some GOODLES mac & cheese in your life! Pick up GOODLES on your next shopping trip… it’s available nationwide at Target and Walmart, plus many other major grocery stores and retailers. Want to try a FREE pack of Goodwipes? Just buy a pack at Target, Walmart, Kroger—or your local store—then head to goodwipes.com/ABSOLUTELY , text them your receipt and get reimbursed! Shop SKIMS Ultimate Bra Collection and more at SKIMS.com and SKIMS LA Flagship on Sunset Blvd. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 27

On this episode, Heather is back in the Atlanta studio after getting back on the road with The Bamboozled Tour in Memphis and Charlotte. The Showgirl is back on the road and another showgirl is engaged! She chats about what went down in each city and goes down sorority rush memory lane. We get back to the voicemails where she takes on another type of wedding proposal, airline chicken etiquette and if too much baby oil is a thing. Episode Sponsors: Find Duke’s Mayo at your local retailer. If it’s not there, riot (respectfully) Visit dukesmayo.com for more information. Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNO T or use code ABSOLUTELYNOT at checkout to take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Shop my favorite bras and underwear at SKIMS.com . Don't be the friend who's always complaining about feeling like garbage—do something about it with LiverMD! Head to 1MD.org and use code [ABSOLUTELY] for 15% off your first order. Go to cokeurl.com/simplyPOP to find out where you can try Simply Pop! Ready to clean up your home and your health? Head to BranchBasics.com to shop their Premium Starter Kit and save 15% off with code ABSOLUTELY at BranchBasics.com . Addyi is the number one prescribed treatment, it’s helped thousands of women. Put your lip gloss on. A little self tan. And look into Addyi at addyi.com . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 21

On this episode, Heather is in LA and welcomes her fabulous friend, Retta to the pod! Retta and Heather met at a friend's birthday in Mexico and connected over margaritas and steak. They chat about auditions, how Glen Powell smells, and what’s a must have in her dressing room. Episode Sponsors: Find Duke’s Mayo at your local retailer. If it’s not there, riot (respectfully) Visit dukesmayo.com for more information. Go toSquarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Elevate your fall wardrobe essentials with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Earn points on rent and around your neighborhood, wherever you call home, by going to joinbilt.com/absolutely . Treat yourself to the most comfortable and innovative bras on earth and save 20% Off sitewide at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY . OpenPhone is offering my listeners 20% off of your first 6 months at OpenPhone.com/absolutely . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 13

This week, we’re reminiscing tales from Heather’s last tour ahead of some stops in Tennessee and Texas. In this replay episode, she breaks down the details of the insane predicament she found herself in at the Memphis airport. She also ran into a couple Lasso kids in Texas and was slinging art in Mississippi for Robin like drug dealer from the 80's. That and more! Episode Sponsors: Find Duke’s Mayo at your local retailer. If it’s not there, riot (respectfully) Visit dukesmayo.com for more information. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. For a limited time, you can be first in line to experience the new Next Gen at special savings. Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Nutrition Program at ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY . Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Right now, ABSOLUTELY NOT listeners can save 30% on their first order! Just head to cornbreadhemp.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Go to cokeurl.com/simplyPOP to find out where you can try Simply Pop! Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 6

On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta after her annual European summer vacay. She has weeded through her tik-tok trolls only to realize she has come out ahead as America’s Unc. She relives her boat days, her Air France journey home, and her back to school shopping memories. She takes voicemails from girls on a best friend trip to Italy, gift giving and golf bag woes, and why she is going to Iowa. Episode Sponsors: Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Find Duke’s Mayo at your local retailer. If it’s not there, riot (respectfully) Visit dukesmayo.com for more information. You can shop Caraway Risk-Free! Enjoy fast, free shipping, easy returns, and a 30-day trial. Plus, if you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutely . Elevate your fall wardrobe essentials with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 30

On this episode, Heather is recording straight from a pool house in Mallorca—armed with nothing but her phone, a questionable Wi-Fi signal, and enough acid reflux to ignite a small fire. She’s giving us a mid-vacation dispatch packed with thoughts on travel etiquette, her ongoing battle with GLP-1, and a passionate tribute to the unsung pop legacy of Brooke Hogan. Plus, a quick tour update and a reminder that boat days are the best days. Episode Sponsors: Find Duke’s Mayo at your local retailer. If it’s not there, riot (respectfully) Visit dukesmayo.com for more information. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. OpenPhone is offering my listeners 20% off of your first 6 months at OpenPhone.com/absolutely . To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutely . Start paying rent through Bilt and take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/absolutely . Philadelphia makes everything creamier. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration and so you can start adding Philadelphia to your recipes at home! Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 23

On this replay of the pod from almost exactly 3 years ago, we get Heather fresh off her extra long honeymoon. While she should feel refreshed, renewed and wildly in love- she is lucky to not be in an italian jail cell after clearly spending too much time with her new husband, Jeff. She breaks down the importance of communication, how much wine she drank every day at lunch and her plans to do it all over again (which she currently is doing in Portugal). Episode Sponsors: Find Duke’s Mayo at your local retailer. If it’s not there, riot (respectfully) Visit dukesmayo.com for more information. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Go to cokeurl.com/simplyPOP to find out where you can try Simply Pop! Right now, ABSOLUTELY NOT listeners can save 30% on their first order! Just head to CornbreadHemp.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. OpenPhone is offering my listeners 20% off of your first 6 months at OpenPhone.com/absolutely . Give your summer closet an upgrade—with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and three hundred and 365-day returns. To find out what all the hype is about for yourself, go to cakesbody.com . You can even use code ABSOLUTEY for 20% off your first order this summer. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 16

On this episode, Heather welcomes the one and only Robin McMahan to the studio. Robin is back from Portugal with a group of fabulous older women and bestows some advice before Heather's trip. They discuss the infamous EGG HAT, European Zara’s and the price of seabass. They obviously go into Robin’s dating dilemmas. They take your voicemails about boomers, summers at Chateau McMahan and the amount of virgin piña coladas Heather used to drink. Episode Sponsors: Find Duke’s Mayo at your local retailer. If it’s not there, riot (respectfully) Visit dukesmayo.com for more information. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. If you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Nutrition Program! Just visit ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY To find out what all the hype is about for yourself, go to cakesbody.com . You can even use code ABSOLUTEY for 20% off your first order this summer. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 9

On this episode, Heather is in LA and welcoming her favorite bitch, Jackie Schimmel, who is about to head out on her own tour- Dim the Lights. They discuss how we all need to zoom out, berating each other's husbands, and social boundaries. Jackie takes Heather down on her unsolicited kindness to strangers while Heather then gets to the bottom of why Jackie didn’t join us on the cruise. Episode Sponsors: Find Duke’s Mayo at your local retailer. If it’s not there, riot (respectfully). Visit dukesmayo.com for more information. Right now, you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at square.com/go/absolutely . This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Get 15% off your first order of $100 or more at hillhousehome.com with code ABSOLUTELY15. Start paying rent through Bilt and take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/absolutely . Go to cokeurl.com/simplyPOP to find out where you can try Simply Pop! To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutely . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 2

On this episode, Heather is on the up and up after the events of the last few weeks. She chats about how turtles and cardinals are now showing up as signs, what it was like 100 years ago, and how she plans to spend her time in Europe. While her life may be hectic right now, she turns to your voicemails to bring her back to reality. She hears about Louisiana gay uncles, how comfortable people have gotten in public and totally unhinged church facebook group requests. Episode Sponsors: Find Duke’s Mayo at your local retailer. If it’s not there, riot (respectfully) Visit dukesmayo.com for more information. Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. OpenPhone is offering my listeners 20% off of your first 6 months at OpenPhone.com/absolutely . Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Right now, ABSOLUTELY NOT listeners can save 30% on their first order! Just head to CornbreadHemp.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 25

On this episode, Heather is back in the Atlanta studio after a very stressful and eventful week. Definitely feels like she can't get her neck above water and brings you along her insane days. She relives her experience at the emergency vet that could rival The Pitt, getting her pap on her anniversary, and receiving a very special gift that may be light at the end of a very long tunnel. She then takes voicemails about how the rest of the world is also on on fire and one caller's decision to move to the USA. Episode Sponsors: Plus, if you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Get 15% off your first order of $100 or more at hillhousehome.com with code ABSOLUTELY15. To find out what all the hype is about for yourself, go to cakesbody.com . You can even use code ABSOLUTEY for 20% off your first order this summer. Go to cokeurl.com/simplyPOP to find out where you can try Simply Pop! Right now, Splendid is offering our listeners 20% off when you go to Splendid.com and use promo code absolutely at checkout or when you shop at Splendid in stores. Head to BranchBasics.com to shop their Premium Starter Kit and save 15% off with code ABSOLUTELY at BranchBasics.com. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 18

This week, we're pulling another classic episode out of the archives for the newcomers. This one features one of the wildest voicemails we've heard yet, a mom having to break the holy water out for her daughter, and a surprise cameo from Robin. Episode Sponsors: Start paying rent through Bilt and take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/absolutely . Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Go to cokeurl.com/simplyPOP to find out where you can try Simply Pop! Right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15 inch Calendars by going to SkylightCal.com/ABSOLUTELY To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutely . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 12

On this episode, Heather welcomes her friend from the internet Tinx to the pod after they both separately went to Beyonce the night before! They question why they have never met up for a 3 martini lunch and why finance bros get to enjoy them all the time. They connect on being pulled in too many directions and how they should start the Artist Way this summer. With an overdue book proposal, Heather asks Tinx about her book writing process after her new bestseller- Hotter in the Hamptons. Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners an exclusive chance to be among the first to try Next Gen—with 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program at ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY ! Nuuly is a great value at $98 a month for any 6 styles, but right now you can get $28 off your first month of Nuuly when you sign up with the code ABSOLUTELY at Nuuly.com . Visit OliveandJune.com/ABSOLUTELY20 for 20% off your first System! Pick up GOODLES on your next shopping trip… it’s available nationwide at Target and Walmart, plus many other major grocery stores and retailers. To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutely . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 4

On the episode, Heather is fresh off her NYC takeover—including a memorable night at The Beacon. Now she’s back in her basement, recording old-school style and fighting off whatever funk the universe sent as a reminder to sit down and reset. She’s booking check-ups, trying new beauty hacks, and figuring out what’s going on with her wonky wrist. Plus, she shares her run-in with cosmetic consultation scammers, the betrayal of high-calorie coffee orders, and why she’s dreaming of climbing Mount Everest. (Spoiler: she's not.) Episode Sponsors: Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Right now, you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at square.com/go/ABSOLUTELY . If you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY . Nuuly is a great value at $98 a month for any 6 styles, but right now you can get $28 off your first month of Nuuly when you sign up with the code ABSOLUTELY at Nuuly.com . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 28

On this episode, Heather is back in NYC and welcomes two cruising hussies to the pod. Andrea and Anna are hosts of their own pod Big Wigs but are famously known for their impressions. They chat about how they met, the cruise, their favorite Boar’s Head meats, and being related to a serial killer. We also get a surprise appearance from two of their favorite Calabasas characters. Episode Sponsors: For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Start paying rent through Bilt and take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/absolutely Visit ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. Nuuly is a great value at $98 a month for any 6 styles, but right now you can get $28 off your first month of Nuuly when you sign up with the code ABSOLUTELY at Nuuly.com Visit OliveandJune.com/ABSOLUTELY20 for 20% off your first System! Give the “dads” in your life a unique, heartfelt gift you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth! Right now, save $10 during their Father’s Day sale when you go to Storyworth.com/absolutely ! Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 28

On this episode, Heather welcomes Kelsey Cook to the podcast studio. Kelsey is another fabulous comic that is on tour and has released her new special, Mark Your Territory. They connect on never being to Coachella, the similarities of boomers and millennials, survival jobs and where they stand on Crumbl cookies. Kelsey also finds out that she is actually another race because she is a red head. Episode Sponsors: Start paying rent through Bilt and take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/absolutely Visit JustThriveHealth.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your first 90 day bottle. That’s like getting a month for free! Get 15% off Branch Basics with the code ABSOLUTELY at https://branchbasics.com/ABSOLUTELY #branchbasicspod Visit ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. Schedule your free consultation now at Sonobello.com/absolutely . Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 21

On this episode, Heather is in the studio after a big weekend performing at her home theatre - The Fox. She chats about how doing a show at home can be more stressful than any other cities and how the acquaintances come out of the woodwork to get those free tickets. She tries to relax on Sunday by putting out all her lawn furniture for the summer but the heat index had other plans. She is excited to get to NYC for her show at the Beacon and her week in the city. She gets to take some voicemail about the after party, a lost photo and a hot take on recording comedians. Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Treat yourself to the most advanced bras and shapewear on the market. Save 20% Off Honeylove at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Head to http://primalkitchen.com/absolutelynotpodcast to save 20% off your next online order with code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15 inch Calendars by going to SkylightCal.com/ABSOLUTELY Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/absolutely today. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 14

On the episode, Heather is feeling nautical (and musical) in a fully bedazzled ship captain’s hat. She has some hot takes on the newly appointed American pope and shares some of the gifts she received on the cruise. She dives into Robin’s controversial stance on why dining out on Mother’s Day is an absolute no and then provides advice to your voicemails about breakups, cocktails, and short skirts. Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. If you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners an exclusive chance to be among the first to try Next Gen—with 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program at ProlonLife.com/absolutely . Shop SKIMS Ultimate Bra Collection and more at SKIMS.com . Pick up GOODLES on your next shopping trip. It’s available nationwide at Target and Walmart, plus many other major grocery stores and retailers. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 7

On the episode, Heather is home for a few days and back in the Atlanta studio. She has been enjoying her few days at home, before it’s back on the road. She goes over how Robin’s trip to Portugal has been going and how her own show in Chicago went. She takes on the voicemails to find probably the #1 absolutely not of all time. Can this be the one? Episode Sponsors: AG1 is offering new subscribers a FREE $76 gift when you sign up. You’ll get a Welcome Kit, a bottle of D3K2 AND 5 free travel packs in your first box. So make sure to check out DrinkAG1.com/absolutely to get this offer! This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/absolutely today. Start earning points on rent you’re already paying by going to joinbilt.com/ABSOLUTELY . Head to http://primalkitchen.com/absolutelynotpodcast to save 20% off your next online order with code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Nuuly is a great value at $98 a month for any 6 styles, but right now you can get $28 off your first month of Nuuly when you sign up with the code ABSOLUTELY at Nuuly.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 30

On this episode, Heather is taking it old school and recording live from a hotel room in Miami. No, she isn’t still on the cruise, she is back to working girl life as a corporate girlie. She gives the cruise recap from her perspective and how emotional it made it. She also chats about another milestone-reaching 1 million miles on Delta. She wraps it up with more cruise voicemails from cruisers themselves. Episode Sponsors: Start earning points on rent you’re already paying by going to joinbilt.com/ABSOLUTELY AG1 is offering new subscribers a FREE $76 gift when you sign up. You’ll get a Welcome Kit, a bottle of D3K2 AND 5 free travel packs in your first box. So make sure to check out DrinkAG1.com/absolutely to get this offer! Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY Head to http://primalkitchen.com/absolutelynotpodcast to save 20% off your next online order with code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Nuuly is a great value at $98 a month for any 6 styles, but right now you can get $28 off your first month of Nuuly when you sign up with the code ABSOLUTELY at Nuuly.com . Visit OliveandJune.com/ABSOLUTELY20 for 20% off your first System! Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 23

On this truly iconic episode, Heather is coming to you live from the Absolutely Knot cruise. She has a live audience on the deck and two guests to bring you all the on board updates and of course, Absolutely Not’s. If you have all the fomo, you will not want to miss this one. Episode Sponsors: Our favorite cookware set will save you $150 versus buying the items individually. Plus, if you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Whether you're gifting to yourself or a loved one, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off any order! Enjoy free shipping when you subscribe. Go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOTGIFT. Shop SKIMS Ultimate Bra Collection and more at SKIMS.com and SKIMS LA Flagship on Sunset Blvd. After you place your order, be sure to let them know I sent you! Head to http://primalkitchen.com/absolutelynotpodcast to save 20% off your next online order with code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/absolutely today. Right now, our listeners get 15% off the Premium Starter Kit by using code ABSOLUTELY at BranchBasics.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 18

On this episode, Heather is physically on the cruise, but has brought you a Master’s recap prior to boarding the ship. She chats about her time at the Par 3, trying to be everyone else’s photographer, and of course the coveted merch haul. She also has a message for the millennial white women's fashion choices. Episode Sponsors: Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Start earning points on rent you’re already paying by going to joinbilt.com/ABSOLUTELY Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Just visit ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. Treat yourself to the most advanced bras and shapewear on the market. Save 20% Off Honeylove at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 9

On this episode, Heather is back with Rosebud Baker for a light pregame just in time for The Absolutely Knot Cruise. Rosebud chats about her relationship, becoming a mom, and taking her comedy in a new direction this time around on tour. They also drop some piping hot takes on the Real Housewives and give the scoop on their upcoming cruise shenanigans. It's been a long road and the ladies are at Brat Status - as they should be! Episode Sponsors: Pick up GOODLES on your next shopping trip… it’s available nationwide at major grocery stores and retailers. Absolutely Not is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/ABSOLUTELY today to get 10% off your first month. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/absolutely today. Head to http://primalkitchen.com/absolutelynotpodcast to save 20% off your next online order with code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Nuuly is a great value at $98 a month for any 6 styles, but right now you can get $28 off your first month of Nuuly when you sign up with the code ABSOLUTELY at Nuuly.com Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 2

On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta after a great show in Raleigh and then being a guest on Adam Ray’s Dr. Phil Live in Atlanta. Like everyone else, she has been attacked by the insane pollen that is plaguing the south, but she is rejoicing with some amazing news she received this past week! She gets back to the voicemails from all of you! Episode Sponsors: Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off any order! Enjoy free shipping when you subscribe. Go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOTGIFT. Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELY you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutely . Nuuly is a great value at $98 a month for any 6 styles, but right now you can get $28 off your first month of Nuuly when you sign up with the code ABSOLUTELY at Nuuly.com Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 26

On this episode, Heather welcomes Boho Britt and Amber from Salty Locks Extensions and Studio 285. Heather believes that being close to your glam team is one of the most important things you can cultivate and these two sisters have truly become part of the family. They chat about a ChatGPT boyfriend, catchphrases and even quantum physics. They are two business baddies that will also be joining the crew on the Absolutely Knot. Episode Sponsors: Listeners of Absolutely Not can claim an exclusive three-month free trial, with no credit card required at www.YNAB.com/absolutely AG1 is offering new subscribers a FREE $76 gift when you sign up. You’ll get a Welcome Kit, a bottle of D3K2 AND 5 free travel packs in your first box. So make sure to check out DrinkAG1.com/absolutely to get this offer Visit JustThriveHealth.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your first 90 day bottle. Head to http://primalkitchen.com/absolutelynotpodcast to save 20% off your next online order with code ABSOLUTELY at checkout Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Save big during their Winter Savings event – Schedule your free consultation now at SonoBello.com/ABSOLUTELY Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 19

On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta after a fantastic weekend of birthday shows in the DMV. She had a hell of a time celebrating her 38th with the shows at Capitol One Hall and partying with her friends there. She makes a plea for Tatte to come to Atlanta. She discusses how the vibes are in DC and explains who her new favorite southern auntie Doctor is. She takes your voicemails about burnt grundles, solo dates, and how the Heather 911 is sometimes a force for good! Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Use code ABSOLUTELY15 for 15% off your first purchase at LumeDeodorant.com . Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/absolutely today. Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 12

On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta and taking some time for herself after having a small breakdown on International Women's Day. She is changing her attitude and putting positive energy towards her goals. She recaps the end of her week at the Today Show and the hard sleep on her flight to LA that has caused her to spiral. She takes on the voicemails and provides her best advice on how to VIBE OUT on the Bamboozled Tour and the Absolutely Knot Cruise. Episode Sponsors: Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT or use code ABSOLUTELYNOT at checkout. Start earning points on rent you’re already paying by going to joinbilt.com/ABSOLUTELY . Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Shop SKIMS best intimates including the Fits Everybody Collection and more at SKIMS.com and SKIMS stores. To help you kickstart a health plan that truly works, Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Nutrition Program at ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY Visit JustThriveHealth.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your first 90 day bottle. That’s like getting a month for free! Listeners of Absolutely Not can claim an exclusive three-month free trial, with no credit card required at www.YNAB.com/absolutely . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 5

On this episode, Heather is in the NYC studio with comedian Sam Morril. Sam is currently touring the US with his own “Errors Tour”. Heather and Sam get into life on the road as touring comics. Sam has chosen to ride on a sleeper bus and eat halal, but just like Heather has back issues and also loves a steakhouse and a martini. Episode Sponsors: Right now, ABSOLUTELY NOT listeners can save 30% on their first order! Just head to CornbreadHemp.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Right now, OpenPhone is offering 20% off of your first 6 months when you go to OpenPhone.com/ABSOLUTELY . Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/absolutely today. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Feb 26

On this episode, Heather is in NYC to co-host the Today Show and so excited to give you a behind the scenes look into the start of her week with Jenna Bush Hager. We find out who her work crush is at the studio and how she took Jenna out on the town to a gay country bar. She also touches on the previous week in Iowa where there was a missed connection or a case of mistaken identity at a Walgreens full of Cookie Monster pajamas. Episode Sponsors: Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Listeners of Absolutely Not can claim an exclusive three-month free trial, with no credit card required at www.YNAB.com/absolutely . Visit JustThriveHealth.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your first 90 day bottle. Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Shop SKIMS best intimates including the Fits Everybody Collection and more at SKIMS.com and SKIMS stores. Try VIIA! https://viia.co/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY! Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Feb 19

On this episode, Heather is in Vegas for The Bamboozled Tour and is coming to you live from her hotel room at the Venetian. She also welcomes her writing partner and special director, Jen Zaborowski, to the pod. They chat about Jen coming out on the road and how a tour stop in Vegas just hits different. They discuss barrel vs boot cut jeans, Glen Powell, Hollywood parties and who will be vacay besties on the Absolutely Knot cruise. Episode Sponsors: For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Give yourself the luxury you deserve with Quince! Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. To get $100 towards your first bed purchase, go to Thuma.co/ABSOLUTELY . Right now, our listeners get 15% off the Premium Starter Kit by using code ABSOLUTELY at BranchBasics.com If you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get 15% off with promo code ABSOLUTELY15 at Lumedeodorant.com ! Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Feb 12

On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta after an amazing time in Alabama opening up the Bamboozled Tour. She chats about the amazing audience members and how some of her controversial material played on the crowds. She brings up all of the Super Bowl drama and how we need to leave Taylor alone. She gets to voicemails and realizes we are all doing too much!! Episode Sponsors: Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Listeners of Absolutely Not can claim an exclusive three-month free trial, with no credit card required at www.YNAB.com/absolutely . Visit JustThriveHealth.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your first 90 day bottle. Right now, OpenPhone is offering 20% off of your first 6 months when you go to OpenPhone.com/ABSOLUTELY Save big during their Winter Savings event - schedule your free consultation now at Sonobello.com/absolutely . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Feb 5

On this episode, Heather is back on her power walks and trying to get her mornings off to a great start. She has her weighted vest on and is pumping up tunes from this year's Grammy winners. She was motivated by online haters on Reddit that caused her to spiral. She is excited to get back on the road and start trying out new bits which she got to test out on a secret group of corporate girlies this past week. She got a few days to sip on painkillers, listen to some steel drums and reminisce about the life of Jimmy Buffett. She takes on the voicemails of yes’s and no’s. Episode Sponsors: Right now, Not listeners can save 30% on their first order! Just head to cornbreadhemp.com and use code at checkout. AG1 is offering new subscribers a FREE $76 gift when you sign up. You’ll get a Welcome Kit, a bottle of D3K2 AND 5 free travel packs in your first box. So make sure to check out DrinkAG1.com/absolutely to get this offer! This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/absolutely . To get $100 towards your first bed purchase, go to Thuma.com/absolutely . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 29

On this episode, Heather was excited to share her vision board but mishaps with some vino leads her to verbalize it. We learn about her hopes and dreams for the upcoming year, as well as a traumatizing past job opportunity that has left a mark on how she navigates life. She goes over the newest activities happening on the Absolutely Knot cruise and gives hints as to what will happen on the Bamboozled Tour. She then takes on your voicemails! Episode Sponsors: Start earning points with the Bilt Mastercard by going to joinbilt.com/ABSOLUTELY . Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Listeners of Absolutely Not can claim an exclusive three-month free trial, with no credit card required at www.YNAB.com/absolutely . Visit JustThriveHealth.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your first 90 day bottle. Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. If you’re 21+, check out viiahemp.com and use the code ABSOLUTELY to receive 15% off AND if you’re new to VIIA - get a free gift of your choice. Right now, our listeners get 15% off their entire order by using code at BranchBasics.com . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 22

On this episode, Heather chats about her amazing time in Maui and how she got to spend some quality time with her hubby. She does have some bones to pick with his fashion and beach day choices while on vacation. She is also excited to get back on the road soon with her new tour as well as the cruise. She shows off how well her new neck is healing and takes on some haters in the DM’s. She finally gets back to voicemails from you and reflects on how good of a Real Housewife she would be. Episode Sponsors: Use code ABSOLUTELY15 for 15% off your first purchase at LumeDeodorant.com Listeners of Absolutely Not can claim an exclusive three-month free trial, with no credit card required at www.YNAB.com/absolutely . Shop SKIMS best intimates including the Fits Everybody Collection and more at SKIMS.com and SKIMS stores. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Right now, OpenPhone is offering 20% off of your first 6 months when you go to OpenPhone.com/ABSOLUTELY . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 15

On this episode, Heather recaps her experience in LA during the start of the wildfires. She shares harrowing tales from friends who lost so much and remembers that even during this time of chaos we can find moments of joy and heroism. Please join Heather and find ways to support those affected by the fires such as BStrong Foundation, World Central Kitchen, and the Love and Ethos Foundation. Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Listeners of Absolutely Not can claim an exclusive three-month free trial, with no credit card required at www.YNAB.com/absolutely . Start earning points with the Bilt Mastercard by going to joinbilt.com/ABSOLUTELY . Go to Quince.com/absolutely for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit JustThriveHealth.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your first 90-day bottle. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 8

On this episode, Heather is back in the LA studio for the new year with her two best buds Raymond Padilla and Tina Tompkins. They talk about the Golden Globes, the holidays and something the Santa brought her. Episode Sponsors: If you want to give Cornbread a try, they're offering ABSOLUTELY NOT listeners 30% off your first order. Just visit cornbreadhemp.com/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. AG1 is offering new subscribers a FREE $76 gift when you sign up. You’ll get a Welcome Kit, a bottle of D3K2 AND 5 free travel packs in your first box at DrinkAG1.com/absolutely . Listeners of Absolutely Not can claim an exclusive three-month free trial, with no credit card required at www.YNAB.com/absolutely Visit BetterHelp.com/ABSOLUTELY today to get 10% off your first month. Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELY you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners 15% off their 5-day nutrition program for your post-holiday glow-up when you go to ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 1

On this episode, we welcome the New Year, as well as new followers to the pod but introducing them to one of the highest rated as well as most talked about episodes of the entire pod. Ovaries on a Plane details Heathers harrowing experience on a flight to London where she has an ovarian cist rupture. Episode Sponsors: Turn up the luxury when you turn in with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absonot to get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order. Earn points by paying rent right now when you go to joinbilt.com/absolutely . I’ve got you a special 20% off your order and free shipping for the holidays. Just head over to NoDaysWasted.com/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout. Listeners of Absolutely Not can claim an exclusive three-month free trial, with no credit card required at “ www.YNAB.com/absolutely .” Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 25, 2024

Heather is coming to you from the studio for the Christmas Day episode! She works through her own trauma of her childhood to figure out why she is not the best premeditated gift giver. We have a lot of callers giving the holiday absolutely not’s and yes’s that all of y'all have brought to the hotline. She gives her hot take on a caller's distaste for the family's nativity retelling, how much you should spend on family gifts and what to purchase for your family members, plus everyone's favorite discussion about in-law relationships. Episode Sponsors: I’ve got you a special 25% off your order and free shipping for the holidays. Just head over to NoDaysWasted.COM/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order. Earn points by paying rent right now when you go to joinbilt.com/absolutely . Right now, Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners FIFTEEN PERCENT off their 5-day nutrition program at ProlonLife.com/absolutely . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 18, 2024

On this episode, Heather welcomes feminine icon Sara Blakely to the studio. Sara is a fellow Atlanta girl who started Spanx and now has introduced Sneex to our tired ass feet. Heather has finally met a fellow manifester in Sara and they chat about the power that can have in your life. With her Spanx money, Sara chats about her first big purchase after hawking women’s undergarments for 10 hours on the department store floor. Also being a Breadwinner, she also goes into her relationship with her husband and what it was like telling him she made more money than him. Episode Sponsors: AG1 is offering new subscribers a FREE $76 gift when you sign up. You’ll get a Welcome Kit, a bottle of D3K2 AND 5 free travel packs in your first box at DrinkAG1.com/absolutely . Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order. Leesa is offering 25% OFF all mattress orders and TWO FREE Pillows for our listeners at Leesa.com For original gifts that say “I get you”... Etsy has it! Earn points by paying rent right now when you go to joinbilt.com/absolutely . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 11, 2024

On this episode, Heather welcomes Logan Crosby back to the podcast. They chat about their holiday traditions, how road life has been treating him, and their favorite grocery stores. They also go over what is on his vision board for the next year. Logan is one of the unreal talents that will be joining the crew on the Absolutely Knot Cruise. He will be bringing the hits, his band as well as his love of cougars to the high seas. Don’t forget to stream his new album, 2019. Episode Sponsors: For original gifts that say “I get you”... Etsy has it! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Find gifts guaranteed to bring joy to every hard-to-shop-for person this season at saks.com . Right now, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off any order! Enjoy free shipping when you subscribe. Go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOTGIFT. Shop SKIMS Holiday Shop at SKIMS.com . Available in styles for women, men, kids and even pets! Use code ABSOLUTELY15 for 15% off your first purchase at LumeDeodorant.com . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 4, 2024

On this episode, Heather welcomes fellow ATLien Kelly Stafford to the pod. Kelly and Heather grew up together 8 doors down, went to rival high schools and swap stories of their youth. She also shares her life story from dating quarterback Matthew Stafford at University of Georgia, having all girls, and an unexpected brain tumor that left her unable to walk. They chat about football and their thoughts on grown men wearing jerseys. Episode Sponsors: Find gifts guaranteed to bring joy to every hard-to-shop-for person this season at saks.com . Get an exclusive 15% off your entire order when you use code ABSOLUTELY15 at checkout on lolavie.com . Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Treat yourself to the best bras and shapewear on the market and save up to 20% off sitewide at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY . Use the code ABSOLUTELY on Rhoback.com for a generous 20% off your first order through the end of this week. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 29, 2024

And we are back with more of your thoughts and questions about Thanksgiving. Heather gives some advice on a gals first time at their boyfriend’s family home, turkey allergies, stuffing and death. Is it a 911 family emergency situation? Let’s all write down a gratitude list and remember to take a deep breath and eat some pie! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Sponsors: For original gifts that say “I get you”... Etsy has it! Look out for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more about how we're keeping it bullshit free. Go to Quince.com/absonot to get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order. Get twenty dollars off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go to SkylightFrame.com/ABSOLUTELY . Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELY to take advantage of this limited-time offer for up to 20% off your next purchase. Produced by DearMedia See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 27, 2024

On this episode, Heather takes on your absolutely unhinged Thanksgiving themed voicemails and hot takes from the DMs. Heather gets into her thoughts on food, family and attire that you have brought to her. She has some questions for you all as well! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Sponsors: Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Shop SKIMS Holiday Shop at SKIMS.com . Available in styles for women, men, kids and even pets! Look out for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more about how we're keeping it bullshit free. Go to LEESA.com today to claim your exclusive discount! Leesa is offering 30% OFF all mattress orders and TWO FREE Pillows for our listeners! Get 15% off your order of $100 or more at hillhousehome.com with code ABSOLUTELY15. Produced by Dearmedia See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 20, 2024

On this episode, Heather welcomes the funniest gal in the south, Danae Hays. Heather has come in with some honorary cheetah print overalls and is ready to chit chat about life. They yap about being two outspoken southern gals, connecting over family trauma, and what has happened since her divorce. They also break down how bitterness can sneak up when the social media trolls get under your skin. Episode Sponsors: Every week of November, AG1 will be running a special Black Friday oer for a free gift with your first subscription, in addition to the Welcome Kit with Vitamin D3+K2. So make sure to check out DrinkAG1.com/absolutely to see what gift you can get this week! Right now, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off any order! Enjoy free shipping when you subscribe. Go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOTGIFT. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Bring your traditions to life with independent art and design this holiday season. Use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off Minted holiday cards and gifts. As our loyal listeners you'll get an exclusive 15% off your entire order when you use code ABSOLUTELY15 at checkout at lolavie.com . I’ve got you a special 30% off your order and free shipping in the US for BLACK FRIDAY.. Just head over to NoDaysWasted.com/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 13, 2024

On this episode, Heather starts off the episode with the exciting news of her new show, The Bamboozled Tour! She discusses the origin of the word and how it became one of her favorites to use. She chats about her weekend in Oxford and seeing the Ole Miss win. She also got bamboozled with tickets from a Georgia fan who she thought was a friend. She takes your voicemails about her potential as a president, the status of our voicemail callers, and what party favors moms are buying these days are not so different from what Robin did when Heather was growing up. Episode Sponsors: Use code ABSOLUTELY15 for 15% off your first purchase at LumeDeodorant.com For original gifts that say “I get you”... Etsy has it! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Get yourself the gift of comfort. Plus, for November only, Honeylove is giving up to 50% off sitewide. Visit Honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY to shop their sale and let them know we sent you when the survey asks. Use the code “ABSOLUTELY” on Rhoback.com for a generous 20% off your first order through the end of this week. Bring your traditions to life with independent art and design this holiday season. Use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off Minted holiday cards and gifts. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 6, 2024

On this episode, Heather is back from the Breeders Cup. She brought Jeff and Robin across the country for a quick trip to where the surf meets the turf. She even sacrifices her first class upgrade so Robin could really be spoiled. She is super excited for the upcoming Ole Miss vs. Georgia game, but has a little anxiety for the upcoming election. She hopes everyone exercised their right to vote. She takes your voicemails where she is receives some praise, as well as some that get her riled up about brunch, outfit choices at work and big girl budgeting. Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Bring your traditions to life with independent art and design this holiday season. Use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off Minted holiday cards and gifts. Look out for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more about how we're keeping it bullshit free. Visit Carawayhome.com/ ABSOLUTELY to take advantage of this limited-time offer for up to 20% off your next purchase. Get 15% off your order of $100 or more at hillhousehome.com with code ABSOLUTELY15. Earn points by paying rent right now when you go to join bilt.com/absolutely . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 1, 2024

On this bonus episode, Heather welcome Laura Rutledge to the pod. Laura is coming to us from ESPN’s campus in Bristol, CT and chats with Heather about how she can be found on the sidelines of the NFL, SEC as well as the Masters. Heather gets some tips and tricks for interviewing on the red carpet while they discuss the trials of being a lady in the biz. They are manifesting a reunion at the Ole Miss vs Georgia game in the grove and what they would serve at the tailgate. Episode Sponsors: Visit DelolaLife.com to buy Delola Cocktails now and use code absolutely for $5 off your first bottle. Look out for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more about how we're keeping it bullshit-free. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. My followers will get 15% off their first order when you use code ABSOLUTELY15 at checkout at oakessentials.com join the Naked Wines community and head to NakedWines.com/absolutely for 6 bottles of wine for JUST $39.99 with shipping. For a limited time only, head to BranchBasics.com/ABSOLUTELY and use Code ABSOLUTELY for 15% off your entire order. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 30, 2024

On the episode, Heather is in the studio for Halloween and brings along one of our favorite guests. ROBIN! In this iconic Halloween episode, Heather dons her best Robin costume and lets everyone know how life really is like living with her daughter. She is so excited to be in charge of the pod and take voicemails from all of her fans. Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Shop SKIMS Bras at SKIMS.com . Now available in 62 sizes (30A - 46H). Use the code “ABSOLUTELY” on Rhoback.com for a generous 20% off your first order through the end of this week. Look out for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more about how we're keeping it bullshit-free. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Find gifts guaranteed to bring joy to every hard-to-shop-for person this season at saks.com . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 23, 2024

On this episode, Heather is back at the studio Atlanta after an exhilarating weekend in New York City on her press tour for Breadwinner. She reflects on her hard work and schlepping through the mean streets. She chats how she is piling more on in Q4 before every one goes on their holiday vacation for 3 weeks in Cabo starting on Thanksgiving. She takes the voicemails of you gals going through new changes in life, but also through it with dating. And ponders if the baby deer she sees on her walks a bad or good sign. Episode Sponsors: Try AG1 and get a FREE bottle of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely . For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Treat yourself to the best bras on the market and save 20% Off at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY . As our loyal listeners you'll get an exclusive 15% off your entire order when you use code at checkout at lolavie.com . Go to Leesa.com today to claim your exclusive discount! Leesa is offering 20% OFF all mattress orders and TWO FREE Pillows for our listeners! Look for our black carton in the egg aisle and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more about how we're keeping it bullshit-free. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 16, 2024

On this episode, Heather is NYC and welcomes Briley King to the podcast. Briley is the wife of the iconic musician Marcus King, but is a boss bitch entrepreneur in her own right. She is the center of Little Bird Trucking hats, but aso has the voice of an angel. They get into Briley's life as a daughter of a truck driver and how that has former her life and why the online trolls think she is the biggest gold digger. Episode Sponsors: Visit Carawayhome.com/absolutely to see all of our favorite products AND take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. LaCroix Sparkling Water is available nationwide, and you can find a list of retailers on www.LaCroixWater.com . Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Try AG1 and get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription at drinkAG1.com/absolutely . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 9, 2024

On this episode, the marathon continues as Heather is doing all the things from hanging out with Reese Witherspoon to a surprise pop up at the Call Her Daddy live show. It was a weekend full of fearless women doing the most. She gets into the reactions from Kamala Harris sitting down with Alex Cooper after her, an 8-year old girl who stole her mom's Rogue for a Target run, and elects 50 Cent's Get Rich or Die Tryin' as her campaign theme music after hitting the voicemails. This episode is dedicated to Crystal, an inspiration and absolute badass. Episode Sponsors: Try AG1 and get a FREE bottle of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely . Use the code “ABSOLUTELY” on Rhoback.com for a generous 20% off your first order through the end of this week. Look for our black carton in the egg aisle and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more about how we're keeping it bullshit-free. Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Visit OliveandJune.com/ABSOLUTELY20 for 20% off your first System! Get 15% off your order of $100 or more at hillhousehome.com with code ABSOLUTELY15. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 4, 2024

On this bonus episode, Heather is back in LA and kicking the press tour off with an attitude of gratitude for all of the love on the announcement this week. She falls into the rabbit hole with her producer as they discuss theories around the Diddy Freak-Offs, who they’re hoping wasn’t there, and make it clear that Heather was NEVER invited. Then, she hits the Absolutely Not Line to give you your second dose of much-needed sage advice for the week. Episode Sponsors: Visit DelolaLife.com to buy Delola Cocktails now and use code absolutely for $5 off your first bottle. Earn points by paying rent right now when you go to joinbilt.com/absolutely . Go to Ro.co/ABSOLUTELY . Memberships start at $99 for your first month. Medication costs are separate. My followers will get 15% off their first order when you use code ABSOLUTELY15 at checkout at oakessentials.com . Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription at drinkAG1.com/absolutely . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 2, 2024

On this episode, Heather is so excited to finally announce the release of her special, Breadwinner, coming to Hulu on October 11. Heather is also spilling the tea from the carpet of the Peoples Choice Country Awards. She sticks around in Nashville to see a Logan Crosby show and then work out new material at one of her favorite comedy club, Zanies in Nashville. Sends her love to all of those affected by Hurricane Helene and gives some advice she found on TikTok. Episode Sponsors: Shop SKIMS Bras at SKIMS.com . Now available in 62 sizes (30A - 46H). Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. LaCroix Sparkling Water is available nationwide, and you can find a list of retailers on www.LaCroixWater.com . Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELY to see all of our favorite products AND take an additional 10% off your next purchase. This deal is exclusive for our listeners, so visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELY or use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Head to NakedWines.com/ABSOLUTELY and put in my code ABSOLUTELY for both the code AND password for 6 bottles of wine for JUST $39.99 with shipping included. To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/ABSOLUTELY . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 25, 2024

On this episode, Heather is home in Atlanta. She chats about her time on the Emmy’s red carpet now that she is a veteran host for E! All the celebs, all the parties. She also announces another fun red carpet that she will be on this week. She also talks about her unreal time at the Falcons game this past weekend. No Taylor sightings but she gets to sit among Atlanta royalty. Episode Sponsors: Try AG1 and get a FREE bottle of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely . Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Treat yourself to the best bras and shapewear on the market and save 20% Off at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY . Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. LaCroix Sparkling Water is available nationwide, and you can find a list of retailers on www.LaCroixWater.com Go to Ro.com/ABSOLUTELY . Memberships start at just $99 for your first month. Medication costs are separate. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 18, 2024

On this episode, Heather is joined by the amazing Iliza Shlesinger. Iliza starts by sharing some sage advice on being a new mom on the grind, trusting your gut and how sometimes you “just f***ing do it”. Then, they get into everything from what NOT to say (or do) when you meet your favorite comedian at a show to the lore behind our the iconic, “Tiramisu bitch!”. And it’s only right they top it off by tag teaming the Absolutely Not-Line to solve some of the funniest voicemails we’ve heard yet. Episode Sponsors: For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration and so you can start adding Philadelphia to your recipes at home! Earn points by paying rent right now when you go to joinbilt.com/ABSOLUTELY . Exclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Doll 10 Beauty is offering 20% off your order. Visit www.doll10.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 11, 2024

On this episode, Heather welcomes Becky Robinson back to the pod! They chat about how they met and came up in comedy, Becky’s dating life, preventative body scans and her love of nicotine packs. Becky will be one of the fabulous comedians on the Absolutely Knot Cruise. They chat how insane it will be and what you will need to prepare to be tits out on deck. Episode Sponsors: Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. You can go to goodr.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY for free shipping. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration and so you can start adding Philadelphia to your recipes at home! Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 4, 2024

On this episode, Heather chats about her wild weekend in Oxford. She was back on stage slinging jokes as well as back in The Grove, celebrating an Ole Miss win. It was a very full week filled with a lot of memories, friends and drinks at the greatest bar in American, The Library. She responds to her voicemails that range from chair choices to wedding choices. Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Philadelphia makes everything creamier. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration and so you can start adding Philadelphia to your recipes at home! Exclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Doll 10 Beauty is offering 20% off your order. Visit www.doll10.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Get the Rakuten app NOW and join the 17 million members who are already saving! Cash Back rates change daily, see Rakuten.com for details. Find your new uniform at jennikayne.com . Our listeners get 15% off your first order when you use code ABSOLUTELY15 at checkout. Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 30, 2024

On this wild bonus episode, Heather has Steph Tolev in the ATL studio. Steph and Heather chat what it feels like to be a woman in comedy, what the trolls say in the DMs and their favorite (and not so favorite) celebrity encounters. Heather is extra excited to have her on the pod because you *might* be seeing this extremely funny friend on a certain upcoming floating vessel! Sponsors: Get 15% off your first order when you use code ABSOLUTELY15 at checkout at jennikayne.com Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELY or use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 10% off your next purchase. Go to Ro.com/absolutely . Memberships start at just $99 for your first month. Medication costs are separate. To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/ABSOLUTELY . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 28, 2024

On this episode, Heather chats about the brain fog and ADHD that she has been tackling. After much debating, she doesn’t take a loose Adderall, but using some other tricks she learned from book she bought off TikTok shop. She talks about high school reunions and how excited she is to be back on stage at Ole Miss this week. The voicemails come in about ex’s, how we need to celebrate other women winning and her family’s dead animals. Episode Sponsors: Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely . This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Shop the SKIMS Soft Lounge Collection at SKIMS.com . Now available in sizes XXS - 4X. If you want to upgrade your restroom ritual, you can grab Goodwipes at Target, Walmart, Kroger, and most local grocery stores! Just head to the toilet paper aisle and look for the bright aqua, rose, and emerald packages. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration and so you can start adding Philadelphia to your recipes at home! Exclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Doll 10 Beauty is offering 20% off your order. Visit www.doll10.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 21, 2024

On this episode, Heather is back from London with her Era’s tour recap as well as a new conspiracy theory about pharmacies in the UK airports. She chats about Taylor’s insane performance, her unforgettable fans as well as a run in with another HUGE celeb during lunch. Did she absolutely not herself with a Tik Tok she made? Everyone relax! She then takes voicemails from you all and gives her unhinged opinions. Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Contact your local SERVPRO today by visiting SERVPRO.com or call 1-800-SERVPRO. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration and so you can start adding Philadelphia to your recipes at home! Treat yourself to the best bras on the market and save 20% Off at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY . Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY . Plus, you get FREE shipping! Earn points by paying rent right now when you go to JoinBilt.com/ABSOLUTELY Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 14, 2024

On this episode, Heather talks about the anxieties her next flight is bringing to the surface. We all remember Ovaries on a Plane, and Heather is back on the same VA flight but this time to see Taylor Swift in London. She has not received her seat assignment so fingers crossed she gets a different seat than the last time. She takes voicemails from listeners who have been locked up in Portugal and others who are getting messages from their ex’s dog’s instagram, but it is one question that strikes Heather and brings up fond memories of her Dad, and her queen Joan Rivers. Episode Sponsors: Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely . This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY . Plus, you get FREE shipping! Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration and so you can start adding Philadelphia to your recipes at home! Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 7, 2024

On this episode, Heather is back in the Atlanta studio after a few weeks away in New York and LA. After receiving some unexpected news, she is determined to take on the rest of the year as well as some voicemails from y’all! Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Get the Rakuten app NOW and join the 17 million members who are already saving! Cash Back rates change daily, see Rakuten.com for details. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY . Plus, you get FREE shipping! Philadelphia makes everything creamier. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration and so you can start adding Philadelphia to your recipes at home! Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. You can go to goodr.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY for free shipping. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 2, 2024

On this bonus episode, Heather has some special guests in the studio! Cody Rigsby (beloved Peloton instructor) and Andrew Chappelle (Broadway baby) have started their own podcast, Tactful Pettiness and they are here on Absolutely Not to chat with Heather about the rules of Fire Island, their rise in careers and, of course, how to be a petty yet respectful queen! Episode Sponsors: Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping and 365-day returns. Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELY you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Pay rent hassle-free through the Bilt Rewards app. Earn points by paying rent right now when you go to joinbilt.com/ABSOLUTELY . As our loyal listeners you'll get an exclusive 15% off your entire order when you use code ABSOLUTELY15 at checkout at lolavie.com . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 31, 2024

On this episode, Heather welcomes Saoirse-Monica Jackson to the pod! Heather geeks out on Saoirse rise to fame on Derry Girls and her upcoming limited series on Netflix, The Decameron. Episode Sponsors: Check out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Shop the SKIMS Soft Lounge Collection at SKIMS.com . Now available in sizes XXS - 4X. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you! After you place your order, select "Absolutely Not" in the survey and select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY . Plus, you get FREE shipping! Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/absolutely . Philadelphia makes everything creamier. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration and so you can start adding Philadelphia to your recipes at home! Use our exclusive link to get 20% off - honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY . After you purchase, they’ll ask you where you heard about them. Support our show and tell them we sent you. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 24, 2024

On this episode, Heather recounts recents events down here in Atlanta. She fleshes out a new business idea after Jeff took too long to smoke some ribs, gets disrupted by Robin due to a looming thunderstorm and texts the GA law lady for some drug intel after one of your voicemails leaves her with some questions. Episode Sponsors: Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely . Contact your local SERVPRO today by visiting SERVPRO.com or call 1-800-SERVPRO. Visit DelolaLife.com to buy Delola Cocktails now and use code absolutely for $5 off your first bottle. Follow @Delola on instagram to learn more! Please enjoy responsibly. Visit CBDistillery.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off. Philadelphia makes everything creamier. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration and to purchase Philadelphia Cream Cheese so you can start adding it to your recipes at home! Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 17, 2024

On this episode, Heather has a very special guest in the studio- her mom, Robin! After a weekend in Florida, Robin has come back with who she thinks is a new beau, but after a quick google search by Heather she realizes Robin may be the one that has been SCHAMMED. A great reminder to all of you with single parents to check that they too are not sending money to a prince in foreign country. Episode Sponsors: If you want to upgrade your restroom ritual, you can grab Goodwipes at Target, Walmart, Kroger, and most local grocery stores! Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY.” This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Go to Quince.com for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. You can find LIPTON throughout the country in your local retailer. Try NEW LIPTON Green Tea. Watch The Serpent Queen now, only on STARZ and the STARZ app. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 12, 2024

On the second part of this weeks episode, Heather takes you from the oceanside to the Tuscan countryside. She hits up her favorite spots and even tries out some new places that you will be sure to add to your Italian vacation wish list. One caller also reveals an internet secret even Heather didn’t know about. Episode Sponsors: Watch My Lady Jane now on Prime Video. Try NEW LIPTON Green Tea. Go to goodr.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY for free shipping. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY . Plus, you get FREE shipping. To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/ABSOLUTELY Visit CBDistillery.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 10, 2024

On this episode, Heather is back in the good ol’ US of A after an epic two-week trip to Italia. This will be a two part episode of everything she got into while on vacation. We start with week one, landing in Milan, visiting Lake Garda and then headed to Villa Yeppa to film some exciting things with her ATL Italians (and a few new characters). While she thrived living La Dolce Vita, the gastro issues started back up as soon as she sat down in Delta One. Episode Sponsors: Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely . Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get 15% off with promo code ABSOLUTELY15 at LumeDeodorant.com ! Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY . Plus, you get FREE shipping! Visit DelolaLife.com to buy Delola Cocktails now and use code absolutely for $5 off your first bottle. If you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELY you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Don’t miss the season premiere of The Serpent Queen, July 12th only on STARZ and the STARZ app. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 28, 2024

On this bonus episode, Heather takes your questions all things Italy travel. Ever wonder what Heather’s travel itinerary is, what she packs in her bags, and if you should or should not buy the designer bags at a discount- then this episode is for you. Episode Sponsors: Watch My Lady Jane Now on Prime Video. Visit Carawayhome.com/absolutely and get an additional 10% off your next purchase. Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/absolutely To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/ABSOLUTELY Right now, go to Quince.com/absolutely to get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 26, 2024

On this episode, Heather goes in on JT’s recent encounter with the police in the Hamptons. She is in Italy at the moment, but answers voicemails about your traumatizing travel experiences including one of our best frienemies. Episode Sponsors: Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely Shop the SKIMS T-Shirt Shop at SKIMS.com . Now available in sizes XXS - 4X. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Try NEW LIPTON Green Tea. Right now, Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners FIFTEEN PERCENT off their 5-day nutrition program. Go to ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY . Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY . Plus, you get FREE shipping! Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 19, 2024

On this episode, Heather has an epiphany while listening to the new XCX album. It is a Brat Summer. She recaps her travels to the Belmont Stakes, to NYC and to Chicago. She thought he was going to be sitting at home, but summer is here and she is ready to travel. She takes on the voicemails and dishes out advice to the gals! Episode Sponsors: Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code ABSOLUTELY for $20 off your first purchase. Use code ABSOLUTELY15 for 15% off your first purchase at LumeDeodorant.com Right now, go to Quince.com/absolutely to get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order. Try AG1 and get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription at drinkAG1.com/absolutely . Get an exclusive 15% off your entire order when you use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout at lolavie.com . Visit DelolaLife.com to buy Delola Cocktails now and use code absolutely for $5 off your first bottle. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 12, 2024

On this episode, Heather is fresh off her co-hosting gig with Hoda on the Today Show. She chats about her love for Hoda and her experience with the cast of Baby Reindeer. She gives some sage advice to some of the callers. Episode Sponsors: Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely . Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Two cups of Lipton Green Tea can help support health by providing approximately the same amount of flavonoids as eating 8 cups of raw kale. Try NEW LIPTON Green Tea . Visit CBDistillery.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off. Head to NakedWines.com/ABSOLUTELY and click ‘Enter Voucher’ in the top right and put in ABSOLUTELY for both the code AND password to get 6 bottles of wine for JUST $39.99 with shipping included. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 5, 2024

On this episode, Heather is so excited to tell you all how to rise and relax with her at sea on her cruise - Absolutely Knot! You know travel really gets her going, but she feels the shakedown coming from Italy. She also get s a voicemail from one of our favorite pod guests! Episode Sponsors: Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code ABSOLUTELY for $20 off your first purchase. Contact your local SERVPRO today by visiting SERVPRO.com or call 1-800-SERVPRO. Visit DelolaLife.com to by Delola Cocktails now and use code absolutely for $5 off your first bottle. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY . Plus you get FREE shipping. Buy your copy of this summer’s hottest cookbook, What’s Gaby Cooking: Grilling All the Things, here: https://bit.ly/WGCGrillingAllTheThings Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription at drinkAG1.com/absolutely . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 31, 2024

On this BONUS episode of Absolutely Not, Heather talks how to deal with internet trolls, does another one of her viral “food rankings” and most importantly shares who she would bring on Family Feud with her if she ever went on! Episode Sponsors: Drinking 2 cups of Lipton Green tea daily is a great ally for wellness and a simple way to up your everyday healthy habits. Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get 15% off with promo code ABSOLUTELY15 at LumeDeoderant.com . Head to NakedWines.com/ABSOLUTELY and click 'Enter Voucher' in the top right and put in ABSOLUTELY for both the code AND password to get 6 bottles of wine for just $39.99. Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELY or use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 10% off your next purchase. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY . Plus. you get FREE shipping. Buy your copy of this summer's hottest cookbook, What's Gaby Cooking: Grilling All the Things, here: https://bit.ly/WGCGrillingAllTheThings Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 30, 2024

On this episode, Heather is back in the Atlanta studio after MDW. She enjoying her time at home entertaining her friends and their kids at her pool. The voicemails go in on graduations + thoughts on summer vacation. Episode Sponsors: Find inspiration for your new vibe, every day, at saks.com Need to find the perfect gift? Don't panic. Try Gift mode on Etsy now. Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Shop SKIMS Bras at SKIMS.com . Now available in 62 sizes (30A-46H). Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code ABSOLUTELY for $20 off your first purchase. To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/ABSOLUTELY . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 22, 2024

On this episode, heather chats about a best friend's wedding, conspiracy theories involving Boeing and the Royal Family as well as finding out sometimes your husband only listens to your advice when a man tells him. Episode Sponsors: Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription at drinkAG1.com/absolutely . As a loyal listener you'll get an exclusive 15% off your entire order when you use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout at LolaVie.com . For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering my listeners $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Visit DelolaLife.com to buy Delola Cocktails now and use code absolutely for $5 off your first bottle. Use the code “ABSOLUTELY” on Rhoback.com for a generous 20% off your first order through the end of this week. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 15, 2024

On this all new episode, Heather is BACK home in Atlanta after two weeks in Los Angeles. She gives a full recap of her time in Golden state and spills the tea from the comedy shows, after parties and more! She opens up about how her life has felt like a sprint and she just made it through the finish line, yet feels hungry for more. She also answers some of the best Absolutely Not's and Yes's we've had to date! Episode Sponsors: Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code ABSOLUTELY for $20 off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. SERVPRO can make any disaster like it never even happened. Contact your local SERVPRO today by visiting SERVPRO.com or call 1-800-SERVPRO. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Visit CBDistillery.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription at drinkAG1.com/absolutely . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 8, 2024

On this truly iconic episode, Heather sits down with the one and only Mandy Moore. After Heather manifested her coming to the previous LA show, we get in the studio to chat about life as a teen star and how she has never been hungover. What a dream! Mandy also gets to hear your voicemails. You do not want to miss this! Episode Sponsors: Find inspiration for your new vibe, every day, at Saks.com . Try AG1 and get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription at drinkAG1.com/absolutely . For a limited time you can try OneSkin for 15% off using the code ABSOLUTELY when you checkout at OneSkin.co Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch go to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Use the code “ABSOLUTELY” on Rhoback.com for a generous 20% off your first order through the end of this week. Drinking 2 cups of Lipton Green Tea daily is a great ally for wellness and a simple way to up your everyday healthy habits. Visit DelolaLife.com to buy Delola Cocktails now and use code ABSOLUTELY for $5 off your first bottle. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 3, 2024

On this BONUS episode of Absolutely Not, Heather is joined by comedian, Joe Dombrowski, who immediately informs her that she is an icon to the gay community. They chat all things comedy, touring, fans sneaking into the green room and try to determine if Heather has a lazy eye or not. Episode Sponsors: For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Indulge in affordable luxury! Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. To get Naked Wines’ 6 bottle for $39.99 offer, head to NakedWines.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY for both the code AND password. If you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELY you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY . Plus, you get free shipping. Head over to AthenaClub.com to try their award-winning razor and body products and get 20% off your first purchase with code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 1, 2024

On this episode, Heather in the studio in LA after her final shows of The Comeback Tour. She works out a lot of stress and takes some of it out on her callers. She apologizes, as she goes hard. Episode Sponsors: Find inspiration for your new vibe, every day, at Saks.com . Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription at drinkAG1.com/absolutely . Shop SKIMS Bras at SKIMS.com . Now available in 62 sizes (30A - 46H). You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/ABSOLUTELY and using code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY . Plus, you get FREE shipping. Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code ABSOLUTELY for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 24, 2024

On this episode, Heather dives deep into her thoughts on the upcoming months, on her work load and closing out The Comeback Tour. She recaps the bachelorette weekend in Key West filled with crazy characters and key lime pies. She goes through the voicemails and hears an Absolutely Yes from one of her listeners. Episode Sponsors: Find inspiration for your new vibe, every day, at Saks.com . Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription at drinkAG1.com/absolutely . Need to find the perfect gift? Don't panic. Try Gift Mode on Etsy now. Visit maidenform.com and use code ABSOLUTELY20 at checkout for 20% off your first purchase. Check out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, go to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY . Plus, you get FREE shipping. Use the code “ABSOLUTELY” on Rhoback.com for a generous 20% off your first order through the end of this week. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 17, 2024

On this episode, Heather is joined by the ultimate scammer, the pillar himself, Raymond Padilla. They are back from the Masters tournament and ready to chat about all their adventures in Augusta. Episode Sponsors: Treat yourself to the best bras on the market and save 20% off at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Control body odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeoderant and get 15% off with promo code ABSOLUTELY15 at LumeDeoderant.com Try AG1 and get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription at drinkAG1.com/absolutely . Indulge in affordable luxury! Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Fatty15 is on a mission to replenish your C15 levels and restore your long-term health. You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to Fatty15.com/ABSOLUTELY and using code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 10, 2024

On this episode, Heather is finally back home in the ATL studio for a solo episode. Grateful for all of her previous guests, but also to just chit chat with y'all one on one. There is a lot that has happened over the last few weeks to go over, but she still has time for a few voicemails. Episode Sponsors: For inspiration for your new vive, every day, at saks.com . Try AG1 and get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription at drinkAG1.com/absolutely . Visit maidenform.com and use code ABSOLUTELY20 at checkout for 20% off your first purchase. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Watch new episodes of Vanderpump Villa every Monday, now on Hulu ! Visit CBDistillery.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off. To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/ABSOLUTELY . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 3, 2024

On this episode, Heather brings another fan of wigs and characters, Zachariah Porter, to the pod. They discuss their previously lives in the hospitality industry, shoplifting and celebrity sex tapes. Episode Sponsors: Watch Vanderpump Villa, premiering April 1st, only on Hulu . Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code ABSOLUTELY for $20 off your first purchase. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY . Plus, you get free shipping. As a loyal listener, you'll get an exclusive 15% off your entire order when you use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout at lolavie.com . OneSkin is more than skin care. Get started today with 15% off using code ABSOLUTELY at oneskin.co . If you want to take ownership of your health, start with AG1. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at AG1.com/absolutely . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 29, 2024

On this bonus episode, Heather gets to chit chat with Connor about his journey from tik tok videos to starting his stand up tour. Episode Sponsors: To explore coverage visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/ABSOLUTELY Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY . Plus, you get FREE shipping. Go to Quince.com/absolutely to get free shipping and 365-day returns. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Shop poppi on Amazon for 15% off with code ABSOLUTELY15 and in retailers nationwide. As a special offer for listeners, new customers get $5 off a Lume Starter Pack with code ABSOLUTELY5 at LumeDeoderant.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 27, 2024

On this episode, Hannah Berner and Heather come together for hilarious takes on being gals in comedy, her new special taping and being high fashion girlies. They also go head to head about who has the best dead grandpa. Episode Sponsors: Visit maidenform.com and use code ABSOLUTELY20 at checkout for 20% off your first purchase. If you want to take ownership of your health, start with AG1. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at AG1.com/absolutely . Watch Vanderpump Villa, premiering April 1st, only on Hulu . Head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Wherever you’re starting, get moving with a Peloton Bike or Bike+ rental at www.onepeloton.com/bike/rentals . Terms apply. Fatty15 is on a mission to replenish your your C15 levels and restore your long-term health. You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to Fatty15.com/ABSOLUTELY and using code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 20, 2024

On this episode, Heather has some very special guests in the studio. Connor and Tanner are both 25 year olds navigating love on the hit Netflix show, Love on the Spectrum. Heather also gets to have a very special chat with their moms, Lise and Nicci, about raising their kids and how life has changed post Netflix. Episode Sponsors: Take the guesswork out of buying tickets with Gametime. Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code ABSOLUTELY for $20 off your first purchase. As a loyal listener you'll get an exclusive 15% off your entire order when you use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout at lolavie.com Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/ABSOLUTELY . Shop poppi on Amazon for 15% off with code “ABSOLUTELY15” and in retailers nationwide. As a special offer for listeners, new customers get $5 off a Lame Starter Pack with code ABSOLUTELY5 at LumeDeodorant.com . Go to Quince.com/absolutely to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 13, 2024

Heather is back from Hollywood’s biggest weekend and she is giving you ALL the insider info! From 4am glam wake up calls to eating In and Out at the Vanity Fair party, our girl has taken Hollywood by storm! She goes through the DM’s and answers all your burning red carpet questions! Episode Sponsors: Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 AND 5 free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely Need to find the perfect gift? Don't panic. Try Gift Mode on Etsy now! Visit maidenform.com and use code ABSOLUTELY20 at checkout for 20% off your first purchase. Use code "ABSOLUTELY15" for 15% off on Amazon and sip the future of soda! Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. This episode is /brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 6, 2024

On this episode, Heather is back from horse country with a small sinus infection. Our girl got knocked on her butt once the z pack takes a toll on her tum tum. Did the meds think she was getting scammed by a repeat medical biller? She makes it through and finds the strength to advise on your voicemails. Indulge in affordable luxury! Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 AND 5 free Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely Get 20% OFF @honeylove by going to honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY #honeylovepod To find Truly Hard Seltzer near you, go to trulyhardseltzer.com/locations . Truly Hard Seltzer. Keep it Light. Visit CBDistillery.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off. Wherever you’re starting, get moving with a Peloton Bike or Bike+ rental at www.onepeloton.com/bike/rentals . Terms apply. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 1, 2024

Heather is back from Australia and fighting for her life to beat jet lag. She talks about her amazing adventures and the Aussie hotties but also how much she missed Robin. She ends the episode with two awesome voicemails you won’t want to miss. Episode Sponsors: Visit maidenform.com and use code ABSOLUTELY20 at checkout for 20% off your first purchase. Try G1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 AND for a limited time you'll get 10 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutelynot . Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/absolutely . This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY . Plus, you get FREE shipping. Head to www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Feb 21, 2024

Heather is live from Down Unda recording with a border collie at her feet as in Australia, dogs roam free. Heather talks about being a tourist in New Zealand from sight seeing to white wine for lunch. She also take your voicemails about your Aussie study abroad days, proves that digital cameras are back as well as shadowbans! Episode Sponsors: Get a taste of M. A hot new collection of craveable intimates from Maidenform, a brand with a whole lotta history. They’ve been around since the very first bras and now they’re bringing you a new kind of classic: the chicest basics you’ve ever seen. For more delicious details, check out Maidenform.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Feb 14, 2024

On this special Vday episode, Heather chats about meeting Jeff all those years ago. From the early dating years to the proposal, it was never a dull moment. She also takes your special Absolutely Not Valentines Day voicemails. Episode Sponsors: Shop poppi on Amazon for 15% off with code “ABSOLUTELY15” and in retailers nationwide. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 AND for a limited time you'll get 10 free AG1 Trvel Packs with your first purchase at drinkG1.com/absolutelynot Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. As a special off for listeners, new customers get 15% off ALL Lume products with our exclusive code and link - that's over 40% off their Starter Pack, too. Use code ABSOLUTELY5 for 15% off your first purchase at LumeDeoderant.com . Head over to AthenaClub.com to try their award-winning razor and body products and get 20% off your purchase with code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Wherever you’re starting, get moving with a Peloton Bike or Bike+ rental at www.onepeloton.com/bike/rentals . Terms apply. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Feb 7, 2024

On this episode, Heather brings you on her wild ride from Vegas to the Grammys. From the truly bonkers characters in Vegas to her race to make the red carpet. Heather makes it just in time for her fabulous glam team to beat the face, throw on a gown and get mic’d up for music’s biggest night! Episode Sponsors: Go to squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Treat yourself to the best bras on the market and save 20% off at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY . Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY . To find Truly Hard Seltzer near you, go to trulyhardseltzer.com/locations . Truly Hard Seltzer. Keep it Light. Go to BlueNile.com to find the perfect piece today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 31, 2024

On this episode, Heather is back on the road. Her first shows back in 2024 were in Florida, so you know the wild ones were OUT! She then travels to Mississippi to attend the first Absolutely Not Podcast wedding. That's right - a love match from the pod to one of her oldest friends from college. While visiting Ole Miss, she finds out the moms are the true fans! Episode Sponsors: Get an exclusive 15% off your entire order when you use visit lolavie.com and use promo code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Try AG1 and get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkAG1.com/absolutely . To find Truly Hard Seltzer near you, go to trulyhardseltzer.com/locastions . Truly Hard Seltzer. Keep it Light. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/absolutely . Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. head to squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 24, 2024

On this episode, the Absolutely Not Podcast welcomes the iconic comedian Anjelah Johnson. Anj and Heather do a deep dive on her start in the business and her journey to becoming a mom. This of course happens all while touring as a standup comedian and holding everyone else down. Sounds like someone else we all know and love! Episode Sponsors: Shop poppi on Amazon for 15% off with code "ABSOLUTELY15" and in retailers nationwide. Try AG1 and get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkAG1.com/absolutely . SKIMS Bras are now available at SKIMS.com . Plus, get free shipping on orders over $75. Head to squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% on your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY . Plus, you get free shipping. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 17, 2024

On this episode, Heather recaps the first stop on her journey to the EGOT: the Emmys red carpet. She’s running you through what it took to be a journalist on one of the biggest nights in media, then hitting the DMs to answer your questions around what it was like to rub elbows with some of her favorite people in the industry. Episode Sponsors: Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeoderant and get $5 off your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code ABSOLUTELY5 at LumeDeoderant.com ! #lumepod Watch The Trust: A Game of Greed, now streaming only on Netflix . This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. To find Truly Hard Seltzer near you, go to trulyhardseltzer.com/locations . Truly Hard Seltzer. Keep it Light. Truly Hard Seltzer Beverage Company. Boston, Massachusetts. Please Drink Responsibly. Experience the ease and convenience of shopping Blue Nile today, at Blue Nile. the original online jeweler. Go to BlueNile.com to find the perfect piece today. Visit CBDistillery.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 10, 2024

2024 vision board episode is here! Heather dives in on the goals for the year and lets you know the tips and tricks to a successful vision board manifestation. Get your magazines, inspirational quotes and glue stick ready, honey! She also has time for some voicemails where you all are doing the most! By the end of the episode you will be motivated and ready to bring that Gypsy Rose Energy to 2024. Episode Sponsors: Shop poppi on Amazon for 15% off with code “ABSOLUTELY” and in retailers nationwide. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkAG1.com/absolutely . Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/absolutely . Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 3, 2024

We are one earthquake and black swan event from the end, but 2024 is bringing new beginnings and an attitude of gratitude! On this episode, Heather dissects Jack Harlow lyrics, takes questions from instagram, and hears about your holiday through absolutely not voicemails. Episode Sponsors: Right now, BÉIS is offering my listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTravel.com/ABSOLUTELY Shop poppi on Amazon for 15% off with code“ABSOLUTELY15” and in retailers nationwide. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial. and when you're ready to launch go to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. rts with AG1. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase ad drinkAG1.com/absolutely . Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy good at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 27, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is wrapping 2023 up with none other than the one and only Raymond Padilla. They’re giving you all of the roses, thorns, highs and the lows of what has been one of their wildest years yet. Episode Sponsors: Go to BEISTRAVEL.com/ABSOLUTELY for 15% off your first purchase. Go to drinkAG1.com/absolutely to get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K@ and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase. To learn more about microdosing THC go to Microdose.com and use code: absolutely to get free shipping & 30% fff your first order. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 20, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is here to set the record straight before we finish up the holiday season. After reminding you who really gets sh*t done around here, she’s back on the hotline to address a grandpa accidentally sending porn to the whole family, a Diet Coke-shaming stewardess, and so much more. Episode Sponsors: Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Go to drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY to get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Visit sharkclean.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your purchase of a Shark NeverChange Air Purifier. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food plus free shipping at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 13, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is joined by the hilarious Rosebud Baker to talk comedy, SNL, balancing it all with being a new mom, and why it’s all worth it. They're here, they’re tired, and they're still doing the most. Episode Sponsors: Go to drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY to get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase. Visit BetterHelp.com/ABSOLUTELY today to get 10% off your first month Right now, BÉIS is offering our listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/ABSOLUTELY . Go to tryarmra.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT or enter ABSOLUTELYNOT to get 15% off your first order. Head to FactorMeals.com/absolutely50 and use code absolutely50 to get 50% off. Visit Sharkclean.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your purchase of the Shark NeverChange Air Purifier. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 6, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is crawling out of her deathbed and fighting through the tail-end of the flu to give you your weekly dose of unsolicited advice and remind you that end of the day, you earned the right to chill the f*** out. Between getting conned out of birthday money for years and influencers risking their lives for content, it's clear that everyone has done enough. Episode Sponsors: Go to DiviOfficial.com/ABSOLUTELEY or enter ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your first order. New to Etsy? Use code HOLIDAY10 for 10% off your first purchase at Etsy.com Check out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 4, 2023

Welcome back to the Absolutely Not broadcast, this week Heather answers your wild voicemails Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 29, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather's got a lot to unpack. We're talking nervous breakdowns before the holiday festivities, Scarlet taking a tumble, and that's before we even hit the hotline. This Thanksgiving brought all of the family drama and Heather brought all of the answers. Episode Sponsors: Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food plus FREE shipping at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely . Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely . Go to Zbiotics.com/ABSOLUTELY to get 15% off your first order when you use ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Visit Sharkclean.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your purchase of the Shark NeverChange Air Purifier. To learn more about microdosing THC go to Microdose.com and use code absolutely to get free shipping and 30% off your first order. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 22, 2023

On this episode, the iconic, fearless, bad ass Jane Fonda stops by the studio. Heather and Jane talk about her life and what it means to be a boss babe and living legend even when it seems the world is against you. Episode Sponsors: Head to squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY . Go to diviofficial.com/ABSOLUTELY or enter ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your first order. Go to quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Go to tryarmra.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT or enter ABSOLUTELYNOT to get 15% off your first order. Exclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Fable Pets is offering a 20% site-wide discount and up to 35% off sets at fablepets.com/absolutely Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 17, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is here to carry you through your Thanksgiving prep with the surprise bonus you need to get through the weekend. She’s jumping back into the DMs to answer all of your burning questions and give a little more unsolicited advice. Need help getting ready to deal with the family? Are you stressed because you still don't have the turkey order in yet? Wondering what Heather's "F***, Marry, Kill" is when it comes to the holiday meats? You came to the right place. Episode Sponsor: Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food PLUS free shipping at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 15, 2023

On this episode, Heather recaps the special taping in her hometown in Atlanta at the iconic Fox Theatre. However, there's no sleep over in these parts! While answering the voicemails, she talks about her time up in Athens for College Gameday and the insecurity of some men on instagram after seeing nipples on TV. Episode Sponsor: If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Grab your Liquid I.V. Hydration Multiplier Sugar-Free in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to LiquidIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Find your bright spot this season, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/absolutely to get 10% off your first month. As a special offer for listeners, new customer get $5 OFF a Lame Starter Pack with code ABSOLUTELY at LumeDeodorant.com and for a limited time return customers get $5 off their next purchase of $30 or more too! Visit sharkclean.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your order. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 8, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from an emotional rollercoaster of a weekend, and joined by everyone’s favorite diva, Robin McMahan. Heather helps her prep for a date with a silver fox in LA (which unfortunately doesn’t go down), but Robin is still here dishing all of the sage advice - both on and off the hotline. Episode Sponsors: Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch go to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Go to tryarmra.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT or enter ABSOLUTELYNOT to get 15% ff your first purchase. My listeners get 15% off your first order when you use my code ABSOLUTELY at jennikayne.com Go to Zbiotics.com/ABSOLUTELY to get 15% off your first order when you use ABSOLUTELY at checkout. New to Etsy? Use the code HOLIDAY10 for ten percent off your first purchase at Etsy.com Visit sharkclean.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your order. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 1, 2023

On this episode, Heather reminisces about Halloween's past, early 2000's hits from 50 cent and B*Witched and other Hot Takes from yall on instagram. Then she hits the hotline to hear more of your voicemails on amazon wish lists, dog poop and gets reminded that she never sent her wedding thank you cards. Episode Sponsors: Discover new ways to shop everything, every day, at Saks.com Go to DiviOfficial.com/ABSOLUTELTY or enter ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your first order. Find your forever pieces @jennikayne and get 15% off with promo code ABSOLUTELY at jennikayne.com/ABSOLUTELY ! #jennikaynepartner Exclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Fable Pets is offering a 20% site-wide discount. Visit www.fablepets.com/Absolutely for more information. Go to Zbiotics.com/ABSOLUTELY to get 15% off your first order when you use ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Head to factormeals.com/absolutely50 and use code absolutely50 to get 50% off. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 25, 2023

On this episode, Heather gives thanks to all of you hussies who watched the special, gets brought back down to reality by Robin after being on the road for weeks and gets some unsolicited advice her DM's. Rounding out the spiral, she gets into the voicemails where one fans admits that she is also trying to do better. Episode Sponsors: Go to zbiotics.com/ABSOLUTELY to get 15% off your first order when you use ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Discover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.com Exclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Fable Pets is offering a 20% site-wide discount at fablepets.com/absolutely Grab your Liquid I.V. Hydration Multiplier Sugar-Free in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to LiquidIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 19, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is in LA and sits down with Tina Tompkins- friends and employee number 2 at Absolutely Not Productions. Heather finds out a wedding secret Christina has been keeping from her, they gossip about their trip back to Ole Miss and respond to the newest set of wild voicemails. Episode Sponsors: Head to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY Believe the the hype - SKIMS has over 100,000 five star reviews for a reason. The Fits Everybody collection and more perfect fit essentials are available now at SKIMS.com Discover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.com Exclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Fable Pets is offering a 20% site-wide discount. Visit fablepets.com/absolutely for more information. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 11, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from Italy, and spilling the tea on what it’s like to be on vacation alone with Jeff, where she’s retiring, and the truth behind going to sporting events in Italy, She’s full of wine, and still full of shit! Episode Sponsors: Shop all my favorites at loveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order. If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY Next time you’re thinking of celebrating a special moment in your life, remember that your natural diamond also protects vulnerable wildlife species and brings prosperity to many less fortunate communities around the world. Learn more at naturaldiamonds.com This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. As a special offer for listeners, new customer get $5 OFF a Lame Starter Pack with code ABSOLUTELY at LumeDeodorant.com Discover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 4, 2023

Your favorite Wall Street girlie, Vivian Tu, is on the podcast to teach you everything about how to make money, how to keep it, and how to make more. New money b*tches - this one’s for you. Episode Sponsors: Check out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch go to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Catch new episodes of The Kardashians on Thursdays, streaming only on Hulu. Treat yourself to the best shape wear on the market and save 20% off at honeylove.com/absolutely Discover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.com Shop all my favorites at loveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 27, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is reporting live from Canal Street after yet another wild leg of the tour. There must have been something in the water because the weekend had everything including a 12-year-old popping up at a show, strip teases, and an episode of cops (but in real life), and that's only the beginning. Judging by the Absolutely Not-Line it looks like everyone else's weekend was just as unhinged. Episode Sponsors: Shop all my favorites at l oveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering is offering my listeners $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off of your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code [ABSOLUTELY] at lumepodcast.com Discover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.com Treat yourself to the best shapewear on the market and save 20% Off at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 20, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is finally able to make a HUGE announcement: she’s coming to Netflix baby! That’s right, her new comedy special, The Son I Never Had, is coming to a couch near you on October 17th. In the midst of the celebration she’s still taking time to hit the Absolutely Not Line to show some much-needed love to the theaters teachers, draw the hard line between making new friends and borderline stalking, and whether or not you should shoot your shot at a new sky boo. Episode Sponsors: Shop all my favorites at loveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order. Head to Squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domaine using code ABSOLUTELY Visit in-store or online at Brooklinen.com and use code absolutelysnot for $20 off your online order of $100 or more. Try AG1 and get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkag1.com/absolutely This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhep.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way of being your best self. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 13, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is back with friend of the pod, Jared Freid. They talk about his hilarious new Netflix special, 37 and Single, and Jared gives some sage dating advice on the proper way to hook your friends up, the best time of day to go out and find the right guy and more to get you prepped for the season. Episode Sponsors: Right now, BÉIS is offering my listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/absolutely Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY The Fits Everybody collection and more perfect-fit essentials are available now at SKIMS.com . Plus, get free shipping on orders over $75. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food plus free shipping at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely Shop all my favorites at loveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 6, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather's jumps into the Instagram DMs to answer your burning questions, and talk through a dab of trauma. She also hits the hotline to prove once again that she may not always have the answers, but she'll always figure it out. Episode Sponsors: Head to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering my listeners ten dollars off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Visit DelolaLife.com to find a store near you that carries Della and follow @Deolola on instagram to learn more. Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use code ABSOLUTELY to receive $5 off or $0 delivery fee off your next order. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely , plus, you get FREE shipping. Treat yourself to the best shapewear on the market and save 20% off at honeylove.com/absolutely Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 30, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is home from her Tour-de-America. Her feet may be swollen, but she's got a real pep in her step after being dressed down by a large woman selling Wiener's in Chicago. She hits the hotline to answer questions like "what to do if you find out your mother-in-law has an alter ego in the bedroom?" and how to fall out of love with your Catholic priest. Episode Sponsors: If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY Right now, Ibotta is offering our listeners $5 just for trying Ibotta by using the code absolutely when you register. Just go to the App Store or Google Play store and download the FREE Ibotta app and use code absolutely. Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use code ABSOLUTELY to receive $5 off or $0 delivery fee off your next order. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food plus free shipping at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely Right now, modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Right now, BÉIS is offering my listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/absolutely Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 23, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh off of surviving the usual Vegas madness during her stop at Wynn, and back in the LA studio to do the work right after surviving Hurricane Hilary. She may or may not be spiraling, but that doesn't stop her from hitting the Absolutely-Not-Line to discuss how let your setbacks be the setup for a comeback, why it just might be time to get a job at SpaceX, and the art of restaurant gaslighting. Episode Sponsors: Right now, BÉIS is offering my listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/absolutely The perfect time to upgrade your sleep routine is now! Shop 15% off in-store at Brooklinen.com Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, go to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Order now for stress-free back-to-school shopping! Use promo code absolutely to get 50% off (up to $10 value) when you spend $15 or more at convenience, grocery or retail stores on DoorDash . Upgrade your closet this summer with Quince. Right now, to go Quince.com/absolutely to get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 16, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather shares a personal idea she's been tinkering with for a minute, that will set your ovaries on fire. She hits the Absolutely-Not-Line to discuss How to treat your elders, the ultimate fighting technique and why dudes everywhere are communicating via android and walking around naked in their homes. But in the meantime... "Imma go Eat!" Episode Sponsors: Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely . Plus, you get FREE shipping! If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use code ABSOLUTELY to receive $5 off or $0 delivery fee* off your next order. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at BetterHelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. As a special offer for listeners, new customers get $5 off a Lume Starter Pack with code ABSOLUTELY at LumeDeodorant.com Treat yourself to the best shape wear on the market and save 20% Off at honeylove.com/ABSO See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 9, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with her dear friend, Brian Kelly AKA The Points Guy, to talk everything from the surrogate journey and being a dad, to the truth about being a boss, and how to finesse those sky miles and credit card points. Episode Sponsors: Take the first step to visibly thicker, healthier hair. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering my listeners ten dollars off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you to Nutrafol.com and use the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Right now, Ibotta is offering our my listeners $5 just for trying Ibotta by using the code absolutely when you register. Just go to the App Store or Google Play store and download the FREE Ibotta app and use code absolutely. Order now for stress-free back-to-school shopping! Use promo code absolutely to get 50% off up to $10 value, when you spend $15 or more at convenience, grocery or retail stores on DoorDash Head to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY The Fits Everybody collection and more perfect-fit essentials are available now at SKIMS.com . Plus, get free shipping on orders over $75. After you place your order, be sure to let them know I sent you! Select "podcast" in the survey and be sure to select my show in the dropdown menu that follows. Visit DelolaLife.com to find a store near you that carries Della and follow @Delola on instagram to learn more! Please enjoy responsibly. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 2, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather discusses how the Aliens have arrived, why summer reading was absolute bullshit, why women tennis players need more money and really rounds it out answering your Voicemails about life. We have a caller let us know her husband asks for sex at the most inopportune times, but don't worry, we will beat him at his own game, literally! Episode Sponsors: Right now, Ibotta is offering my listeners $5 just for trying Ibotta by using the code absolutely when you register. Get $20 off your fertility test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Right now, BÉIS is offering my listeners 15% off your first purchase when you go to BeisTravel.com/absolutely Visit DelolaLife.com to find a store near you that carries Della and follow @Delola on instagram to learn more. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 26, 2023

On this episode the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is back from her whirlwind week abroad after stalking down Harry Styles in italy. She sweat it out in the bathrooms at the Firenze Outlets, ate her weight in salami and handed out band aids to the youth at the music festival. SHE'S BACK BABY!!!! Episode Sponsors: If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/absolutely Switch to the better razor and show your skin you care with Athena Club ! Get started today by shopping in-store at Target stores nationwide - just head to the shaving aisle to find the Razor Kit, Cloud Shave Foam, Wax Strips, and Razor Refills. Order now for stress-free back-to-school shopping! Use promo code absolutely to get 50% off up to $10 value, when you spend $15 or more at convenience, grocery or retail stores on DoorDash . This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at BetterHelp.com/absolutely and get on your way to being your best self. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 19, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather catches up with the queen of ADHD herself, Robin McMahan, her mother. They discuss goals, linen, and how to get back at your ex. Robin bitches and complains that Heather is being a brat, and Heather tries to explain to Robin she needs to drink more water! Never a dull moment with the boomers! Episode Sponsors: Check out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch go to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10%off your first purchase of a website or domain. Take the first step to visibly thicker, healthier hair. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering my listeners ten dollars off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and ender promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT Right now, Ibotta is offering my listeners $5 just for trying Ibotta by using the code absolutely when you register. Just go to the App Store or Google Play store and download the FREE Ibotta app and use code absolutely. This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 14, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is back from a trip in frigid cold California with a sweaty undercarriage and anxiety to boot! Mercury must be in retrograde because technology is failing us and the voicemails on the Absolutely Not line were insane! One woman is getting scammed on a wedding registry while another is getting pranked by members of One Direction! Episode Sponsors: If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeoderant and get $5 off your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code ABSOLUTELY at lumedeoderant.com/a/ABSOLUTELY ! #lumepod Right now, BÉIS (base) is offering our listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/absolutely Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 5, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews rising country music star, Logan Crosby. They discuss what it takes to write a country song, how to become a star and Logan confesses his affection for older women. Thats right lady- He's a cutie with a soulful voice looking for a lady who know's how to make a pie and do her own taxes. PURRRRRRRR. Logan is such a delight and has Heatherrolling with laughter as they attempt to write to Bangers, that are sure to hit the top 10 charts! Episode Sponsor: Check out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.” Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 28, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is speedballing on a steroid pack post being humbled in the Hampton's and getting Rejected-then accepted at the most exclusive club on a pond in Montauk. She hangout with cool German porn stars and a chick with a lazy eye! So much fun in the cool kids club!! Heather also hits the "Absolutely NOT line" and answers questions about what to do if you know your gynecologists from High School, should you be upset if your ex rebound with an old broad and how to get your DONG pounced on! That and so much more! Episode Sponsors: If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY Switch to the better razor and show your skin you care with Athena Club . Get started with Athena Club today by shopping in-store at Target nationwide. Try 21Seeds Infused Tequila for easy & delicious cocktails! Visit 21seeds.com to find 21Seeds near you. Enjoy Responsibly. 21Seeds. Diageo, New York, NY. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 23, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh off the high and the hangover of her Radio City Performance- there was an epic afterparty and the next day was even wilder. Heather headed to the Hamptons post-show for some R+R but quickly realized its a scam out EAST! She brings on her travel buddy, co-founder of her favorite brand, Show Me Your Mumu, Cammy Miller. They discuss ZILLENIALS, QUIET LUXURY and why you couldn't pay either of them 250k to go check out the Titanic. Episode Sponsors: New to Etsy? Use the code NEW for ten percent off your first purchase. Maximum discount value of fifty dollars. Offer ends June 30th, 2023. See terms at Etsy dot com slash terms. For home, style, and gifts shop Etsy.com . Etsy has it! Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 14, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather shares the excitement, joy and fear she has rolling into one of the biggest nights of her life- Playing Radio City Music Hall. She takes a stroll down memory lane, and recalls the last time she attended a show there, Jeff had Diarrhea the whole time! FUN FOR EVERYONE!!! She also hits the Absolutely Not line- and answers loads of questions like "is too much CBD technically drugs?. How do I work a google cal? and Beyhive dick in Europe is it a yay or nay? Episode Sponsors: If you want to take ownership of your health, try AH1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support our show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT to save ten dollars off your first month’s subscription –this offer is only available to US customers for a limited time. Try 21Seeds Infused Tequila for easy & delicious cocktails! Visit 21seeds.com to find 21Seeds near you. Enjoy Responsibly. 21Seeds. Diageo, New York, NY. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 7, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from her shows in Dallas with a hangover and general marital agitation. She is trying to save her Jute rugs from being destroyed by Mac, while also trying to train Jeff. She hits the hotline to answer questions such as "What if I called a man I slept with, Orzo?" And "how should I feel If a stripper had the same perfume as me?" That and more! Episode Sponsors: Head to Squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeoderant and get $5 off of your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code ABSOLUTELY at LumeDeoderant.com/ABSOLUTELY Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 31, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather breaks down her weekend in the NATH EAST. She describes the absolute savage tour Robin took her on around Bahstan's Lil Italy, and how she would leave Jeff for a union theater guy in a heartbeat. She has been on the hot trail of Taylor Swift and wants no drama from the fans. She also hits the hotline for some outrageous Voicemails. Episode Sponsors: If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY . The world’s most famous matriarchy is back for the most intimate look yet inside the family empire. Don’t miss season 3 of The Kardashians , new episodes Thursdays, only on Hulu. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY. Plus, you get FREE shipping. New to Etsy? Use the code NEW for ten percent off your first purchase. Maximum discount value of fifty dollars. Offer ends June 30th, 2023. For home, style, and gifts shop Etsy.com . Etsy has it! Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 24, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with friend and hilarious comedian, Adam Ray. They discuss how they both got their start in Show biz in the 6th grade because they we're chubby children. Take a walk down memory lane- to remember the good ole' days of high School theater and frat/sorority life. Discuss how a good chicken salad sammie will make you want to sit on someone's face and how much they love to feel pure joy with their dogs. To celebrate May, Mental Health Awareness Month, and to celebrate every step you take towards a better, richer, fuller life, Talkspace is offering every listener of this podcast $100 off your first month with Talkspace. Just go to Talkspace.com/ABSOLUTELY If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavorthat you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion –whether you're on the go or unwinding at home. You can try Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com Try 21Seeds Infused Tequila for easy & delicious cocktails! Visit 21seeds.com to find 21Seeds near you. Enjoy Responsibly. 21Seeds. Diageo, New York, NY. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 17, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather's back is out but her attitude has returned. She's learning hard lessons like "everyone's an asshole", "if you dont have a core, you're body will shut down" and "Dont get stabbed in Pittsburgh"- She hits the hotline to try to make sense of why dentists ask you questions with their hands in your mouth and more! Episode Sponsors: Grab your Liquid I.V. in bulknation wide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to LIQUIDIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Check out squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavor that you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion. You can try Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY Plus, you get free shipping. As a special offer for listeners, new customers get $5 off a Lame Starter Pack with code ABSOLUTELY at LumeDeoderant.com Your Memorial Day Sale is coming soon! Shop 20% off in-store or online at Brooklinen.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 13, 2023

On this bonus episode of the Absolutely Not podcast- Heather sits down with Jordana and Jared, hosts of the "U Up?" podcast, to talk about why couples pranks might be the worst side of TikTok, teach Jared maybe too much about feminine hygiene, and break down everything from relationships to why it just might be too late to save the turtles. Episode Sponsors: Shop jackets, jewelry, furniture, art, and more, made for all budgets and any occasion on Etsy . New to Etsy? Use the code NEW for 10% off your first purchase. If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavorthat you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion –whether you're on the go or unwinding at home. You can try Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 10, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast- Heather hits the hotline and answers your voicemails about the thrills of becoming a regular at a bar, how cheering on the elderly should be a regular thing, what to do if there is a kids gifts registry for a bday party and should you break up with someone if they take you to a swingers party? She’s helping one listener at a time and questioning her own existence as to why she doesn't have a live-in hibachi chef. Episode Sponsors: If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY To celebrate May, Mental Health Awareness Month, and to celebrate every step you take towards a better, richer, fuller life, Talkspace is offering every listener of this podcast $100 off your first month with Talkspace. Just go to Talkspace.com/ABSOLUTELY You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support our show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELY to save ten dollars off your first month’s subscription – this offer is only available to US customers for a limited time. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely . That means your test will cost $159, which is a fraction of what it would cost at a fertility clinic. Try 21Seeds Infused Tequila for easy & delicious cocktails! Visit 21seeds.com to find 21Seeds near you. Enjoy Responsibly. 21Seeds. Diageo, New York, NY. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 3, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather breaks down the details of the insane predicament she found herself in, at the Memphis airport, ran into a couple Lasso kids in Texas and was slinging art in Mississippi for Robin like drug dealer from the 80's. That and more! Episode Sponsors: Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% on your first purchase of a website or domain. Go to Zocdoc.com/absolutely and download the Zocdoc app or FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Many are available within 24 hours. Angie's BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorns brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavor that you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion. You can try Angie's BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com It's golf. It's not golf. It's Topgolf . Pro-tip, download the app & book ahead of time to Come Play Around on Half-Price Tuesday or any other day! Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY plus, you get FREE shipping! Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 26, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather and Jeff are taking a walk down memory lane in their old neighborhood. They have some advice for the Rat Czar of the city and take you behind the scenes of what a VIP experience at the Garden has in store for the local celebs. A Homeless man calls Heather a lesbian, and so so much more! Episode Sponsors: If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY It’s golf. It’s not golf. It’s Topgolf . Pro-tip, download the app & book ahead of time to Come Play Around on Half-Price Tuesday, or any other day! Try 21Seeds Infused Tequila for easy & delicious cocktails! Visit 21seeds.com to find 21Seeds near you. Enjoy Responsibly. 21Seeds. Diageo, New York, NY. Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP is perfect for when I want a bold snack with a BOOM of flavor while unwinding at the end of the day. You can try Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 19, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with the ultimate SCAMMMMER, Ray, to discuss how they scammed their way into the masters, yet again. It is an in-depth observation into the golf world that rarely few people get to see. They are honest and raw about how much merch they bought, how swollen their feet were and how many azaleas they really drank! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Episode Sponsors: Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. For a limited time, get $20 off plus shipping on orders of $100+ with code absolutelynot at Brooklinen.com Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Crush your cravings with a variety of delicious ready-to-eat popcorn that's always gluten free, whole grain and non-GMO. You can try Angie's BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens if giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 12, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is fresh from her trip to Augusta with a new business idea that will take doggy day cares, water parks, and sushi restaurants to the next level. She hits the Absolutely Not Line to discuss sister fights, being hungover and how we need to rephrase the term "were trying". She's back on the road and saltier than ever! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Episode Sponsors: Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your fist purchase at athleticgreens.com/absolutely Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book atop-rated doctor today. For listeners of the show, Dips is offering an extended 30-day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/absolutely You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support the show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELY to save ten dollars off your first month's subscription - this offer is only available to US customers for a limited time. Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavor that you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion. You can try Angie's BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 7, 2023

On this bonus episode of the Absolutely Not podcast- Heather is back in the DMs answering your hard-hitting questions from how to deal with fuckboys and HOA drama to what she'd want to be reincarnated as in the next life. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Episode Sponsor: Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavorthat you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion –whether you're on the go or unwinding at home. You can try Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 5, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from a weekend of shows in the Lonestar state and wants everyone to know she has figured out the answer to world peace- a simple San Antonio Fiesta. Slap a little Barbacoa on a shell and sit down with your neighbor- its that simple- actually she is on the verge of a full nervous breakdown and becomes so completely unhinged she needs to call into her own HOT LINE. She explains the new viral sensation, "Yummy Water", refreshes everyone on airplane etiquette and believes Gwenyth was innocent. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Episode Sponsors: Grab your Liquid I.V. in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to LIQUIDIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Check out squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.” As a listener of this podcast, you’ll get $100 off of your first month with Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com/ABSOLUTELY You can try Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com It’s golf. It’s not golf. It’s Topgolf . Download the app, book a bay and Come Play Around. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 29, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is back from her weekend of shows at the Ryman where she set the fire alarm off in the middle of a tropical storm on Broadway! She hits the hotline and answers questions like “how does one get pink eye on a solo self care trip?” And “should we ban bachelorettes?” Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Sponsors: Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely. Prose is the key to achieving all your hair goals this year. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today at Prose.com/absolutely. For a limited time, Starface is offering all Absolutely Not listeners free shipping on your first Micro-Cloud order. Just enter the promo code Absolutely at checkout at Starface.world. Go to HelloFresh.com/absolutely60 and use code absolutely60 for 60% off plus free shipping. Grab your Liquid I.V. in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to LIQUIDIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 24, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is keeping it 100% that some days you just need to get into the back corner of your closet, suck on a J Crew sweater and scream. She's fresh from the road and trying to find the balance of staying uber professional and honestly, just not giving AF! The Voicemails are insane but also a fresh reminder to have manners at a theater, you dont get free refills in New York- and if you were fighting for your life as a kid in basic reading classes- what were you even doing? Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trail, and when you're ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support the show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELY to save fifteen dollars off your first month's subscription. For a limited time, Scarface is offering all Absolutely Not listeners free shipping on your first Micro-Cloud order. Just enter promo code Absolutely at checkout at Starface.world Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/ABSOLUTELY Angie's BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavor that you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion. You can try for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 15, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is fresh off her shows in New England and ready to buy a house next to the Bush family on the beach. She felt the cool crisp seabreeze across her tits and its reinvigorated her to take on turning 36 with gusto! She makes a list of all of the things she still wants to do before 40 and it turns out its just two things. She also hits the hotline and answers your questions like "do you want my grandma" and "why did a woman in florida try and break into my hotel". Its Heather's birthday episode and she is just getting the party started! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY Let Dipsea be your go-to place to spice up your me-time, explore your fantasies, relax and unwind, or heat things up with a partner. Get an extended 30-day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/absolutely It's golf. It's not golf. It's Topgolf . Download the app, book a bay and Come Play Around. Angie's BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavor that you can entry at any time, on any occasion. You can try for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 9, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from serving her country by performing comedy for drunk white women. Not only did she get to visit the white house, but bamboozled her way into the hearts of the national press and will never have to worry about unflattering TMZ photos ever again. She also hits the hotline and tries to make sense of why women can't open marinara jars and how do we stop our elderly mothers from getting swindled by ex-cons. That and more! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. As a listener of this podcast, you'll get $100 off your first month with Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com/ABSOLUTELY Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Angie's Boomchickapop brings you a boom of bold, craveable flavor. Try for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 3, 2023

On this bonus episode of the Absolutely Not podcast- Heather is back in the studio with friend of the pod, Raymond Padilla, to talk what they're giving up for lent, Ray getting high on THC drinks and channel their inner Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. Then they hit the Instagram DMs for some listener Q&A. Episode Sponsor: Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavorthat you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion. You can try Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 1, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is fresh from the Philly show where she may or may not have gotten in trouble for being a little too honest with the sports takes a little too soon. She got cookies hand-delivered to the stage by one of her favorite chefs, and later it almost got sticky for everyone at the Ritz-Carlton Club. Heather also hits the Absolutely Not line to discuss Uber drivers doing too much, when to die with the lie, and doubling down on some get back for one of last week’s callers. Episode Sponsors: Grab your Liquid I.V. in bulk nationwide at Costco or you can get 20% off when you go to LIQUIDIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/ABSOLUTELY. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today at Prose.com/absolutely. Go to HelloFresh.com/absolutely65 and use code absolutely65 for 65% off plus free shipping. Try Angie's BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Feb 22, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast- Heather introduces her new little nugget Macaroni to the world with a real attitude. Heather is coming in hot because she already knows some woman named Willow is gonna bitch that she didn't rescue- but the defense will rest that she freaking TRIED! Heather also hits the Absolutely Not line to answer questions like- "what to do if you get a pube stuck in your throat?" to "why did my boyfriend break up with me after he found out I have an incurable disease?" Were solving the world's problems one voicemail at a time! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE:ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Starface is offering all Absolutely Not listeners free shipping on your first Micro-Cloud order. Just enter the promo code Absolutely at checkout at starface.world Don’t sleep on savings. Brooklinen’s President’s Day Sale is happening now. Listening after the sale? Get the deals of your dreams at Brooklinen.com with promo code absolutelynot You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support the show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELY to save fifteen dollars off your first month’s subscription Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/absolutely Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Feb 15, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is back from a weekend sling jokes in the midwest! She saw a woman smoke a blunt while buying Zyrtec, ate some pasta in Ohio, and had a lovely gal sneak into her dressing room in indiana! I FOUND YOU!!! If the midwest doesn't keep you on your toes, well then hell, nothing will! She hits the Absolutely Not line to learn about the beef between Iowa and Indiana and has a moment of self reflection. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. For a limited time, Starface is offering all Absolutely Not listeners free shipping on your first Micro-Cloud order. Just enter the promo code Absolutely at Starface.world Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/absolutely Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely For listeners of the show, Dipsea is offering an extended 30-day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/absolutely Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Feb 8, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is sitting down with business gal and bff, Christina Tompkins- also know as TINA! They are reporting live from the turks and caicos on a very important Business trip, or at least that's what the accountant told them to say it was. They cover everything from vacation enemies, Robin's cough, what to look for in a man and a primary care physician. They solve to world one problem at a time, why? Because it's the year of the Rabbit! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today As a listener of this podcast, you’ll get $100 off of your first month with Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com/ABSOLUTELY Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Feb 1, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is home from a wild weekend of shows in Augusta and Charleston. A woman tried to sit in Jeff's lap, she found a scammer at a hotel valet in Augusta and her to-do list is too long but she's keeping the attitude fresh.... until she fights with a crazy woman who is calls into the hotline to justify keeping her christmas tree up all year. ABSOLUTELY NOT. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. For a limited time, Starface is offering all Absolutely Not listeners free shipping on your first Micro-Cloud order. Just enter the promo code Absolutely at checkout at Starface.world For listeners of the show, Dips is offering an extended 30-day free trail when you go to DipseaStories.com/absolutely Grab your Liquid I.V.in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to LiquidIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout Go to HelloFresh.com/absolutely21 and use code absolutely21 for 21 free meals plus free shipping Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 25, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from Texas with cedar fever and some new boots. She is taking a quick breath before she is back on the road again this weekend to listen to your insane voicemails. One girl is starting a business and another is hooking up with a Bouncer who threw her out. It's a wild ride and we're leaving no stone unturned. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. For a limited time, Starface is offering all Absolutely Not listeners freeshipping on your first Micro-Cloud order. Just enter the promo code Absolutely at checkout at Starface.world Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/ABSOLUTELY You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support the show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELY to save fifteen dollars off your first month’s subscription It’s the time to treat yourself this New Year. Go to printfresh.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT or use code ABSOLUTELYNOT for 15% off your first order Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 18, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is reporting live, from Austin,Texas! She narrowly made it to her hotel after riding in a maroon escalade with a drug dealer named Charlie, but is staying positive and looking at the brighter side of life. She got into a soft encounter with a woman doused in Aussie mouse and a man making 10 million dollar deals on the tarmac. She also hits the Absolutely NOT line to discuss y'all's bullshit too. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Check out squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. For a limited time, Brooklinen is offering 15% off comforters. Listening after the sale? Visit Brooklinen.com today and use code absolutelynot for $20 off plus free shipping. Visit www.californiaprunes.org for recipes, and be sure to look for California prunes at your favorite supermarket or specialty shop. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today at Prose.com/absolutely. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 13, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is fresh off a z-pack from Mexico and the ride of her life through the sofi stadium to be an SEC ally for the dawgs. She is sniffling her way through a week of LA work but truly no days off because tinseltown wait for no one. She discusses her own pretty woman moment at the Beverly Hills Hotel but how she reassured the staff that even though everyone at the Polo lounge has a soft southern accent- they werent gonna walk out on their tabs. Stay Humble but Stay Smoking! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of immune-supporting vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY Save 10% when you shop The BFF Bundle — a pack of classic AND salicylic acid stars designed to love your pimples all the way through the healing process at Starface.world Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Printfresh is a woman-owned, size-inclusive sleepwear and lifestyle brand with sizes ranging from XS to 6X. Head to Printfresh.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 4, 2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is ringing in the new years with fresh boundaries with her negative CVS. She will no longer allow their filthy carpet and refusal to take her insurance dampen her mood!! She has realized that sometimes you need to just sit in the shallow end of the pool, and think about shit on the steps, before you dive into the deep end of life! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Check out squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Grab your Liquid I.V. in bulk nationwide at Costco or you can get 20% off when you go to LIQUIDIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com , and use the code ABSOLUTELY​ to ​get $100 off of your first month​ and show your support for the show. It’s the time to treat yourself this New Year. Go to printfresh.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT or use code ABSOLUTELYNOT for 15% off your first order. Visit www.californiaprunes.org for recipes, and be sure to look for California prunes at your favorite supermarket or specialty shop. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 30, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is sitting down with her Italian stallion to recap 2022 highs and lows and doomsday prep for the 2023 shit show season. Jeff and Heather both share their "rose and thorn" of the year and never really address how over-budget the wedding really was- It is too touchy of a subject that I guess they will push on to their therapists 10 years down the road. They both realize they need to learn a tangible skill like flying or boating, and Jeff promises to build Heather a tunnel behind the pool. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Start a new healthy habit today. Visit Seed.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY to redeem 20% off your first month of Seed'sDS-01™Daily Synbiotic. Visit www.californiaprunes.org for recipes, and be sure to look for California prunes at your favorite supermarket or specialty shop. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 21, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather prepares herself mentally for the battle of Christmas and reminds herself it's not about fighting a petite elderly woman for the last giftcard at Talbots. but rather a time to reflect on all the selfless good she has given the world through the years. She hits the Absolutely Not Line and gives unsolicited advice on how to survive the holidays and plan a cruise for your conspiracy theory loving in-laws. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Head to Squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $30 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely30. Athletic Greens is going to give you is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 14, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather sits down with friends and road dog, Andrew Collin. They are fresh off 3 shows in the midwest and recording live from a Hilton in Grand Rapids where the vibes are good but the temperature is frigid. Andrew and Heather discuss staying motivated, only working to 70% of their potential and what they would tell to their younger selves. This podcast is the least bit motivating and they are both idiots. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Visit Brooklinen.com today and save 15% on your first purchase plus free shipping. Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then start your search for a top-rated doctor today Athletic Greens is going to give you is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY This Holiday season gift Away at AwayTravel.com/absolutely Thanks to our friends at Spritz Society, you can try their iconic sparkling cocktails for 10% by using code ABSOLUTELY on spritzsociety.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 7, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is recovering from a wild weekend in the Big Easy where she received alot of attitude from mixologists and almost fought a college kid in a night club. She gives advice to a newly wed who paid for their wedding, unveils the mystery of how our parents are still able to post on facebook and questions what happened to a man who went overboard on a carnival cruise! Sponsors: Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? To make trying something new easier, Ritual is offering my followers 10% off their first 3 months when you shop online at ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY From exercise, to errands to sunset –I love my goodrs. You can go to goodr.com/ABSOLUTELY to get FREE shipping Money can’t buy happiness. But not worrying about your money comes close. See for yourself why Chime is so loved at chime.com/absolutely Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then start your search for a top-rated doctor today Produced by Dear Media Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 30, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is fresh from her weekend in Mississippi eating pork rinds & cheering on the Sportz- She hits the Absolutely Not Line to dissect all of your Post- Thanksgiving Drama. You hoes were eating out doing Zero Tipping, talking to pervs in Dog Parks and ended up with a crotch staph infection. It's been a wild weekend and Auntie Heather is here to help. Sponsors: Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $30 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely30 You can now get ready for any occasion in head-to-toe Steve Madden. Use code ABSOLUTELY20 at checkout for 20% off your first purchase at SteveMadden.com Athletic Greens is going to give you is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY If you want to support the show and pick up a pair, goodr is giving Absolutely Not listeners FREE SHIPPING on your first order at goodr.com/ABSOLUTELY Right now, you can get up to 45% off their best-selling products when you purchase select holiday sets by visiting ThriveCausemetics.com/absolutely Produced by Dear Media Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 23, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is breaking down the pre-holiday anxiety we are all feeling in the back of our throats. The next week is going to be filled with family fights, food sensitivities and lots of farts! Heather walks you through your step by step Holiday survival guide so that you don't lose your shit on your Aunt Regina before the mashed potatoes even hit the deck. She hits the Absolutely Not-line and tries to give some sage advice to fellow stressed out holiday hosts- but remember at the end of the day- have your emergency cigs on stand-by. Sponsors: Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Brooklinen's Biggest Sale of the Year is only for a limited time, and the deals don't get better. Visit Brooklinen.com and get $20 off plus free shipping on orders $100+ with code absolutelysnot. As a listener of this podcast, you’ll get $100 off of your first month with Talkspace. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com. Make sure to use the code ABSOLUTELY ​to ​get $100 off of your first month​ and show your support for the show. Go to littlewordsproject.com/ABSOLUTELY or enter ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 30% off your first order. Visit SteveMadden.com and use code ABSOLUTELY20 FOR 20% off your first purchase. Start a new healthy habit today. Visit seed.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY to redeem 20% off your first month of Seed's DS-01™ Daily Synbiotic. Produced by Dear Media Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 17, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh from a weekend of shows in Florida. She was not invited to Tiffany Trump's wedding but instead spent the weekend slingin' jokes and searching for a new therapist in West Palm. There is something bout that Florida humidity that stirs up forgotten emotions and family trauma. We are working through all the feelings leading up to Turkey Day and answering your questions on the Absolutely Not Line. Sponsors: Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then start your search for a top-rated doctor today. Athletic Greens is going to give you is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY This Holiday season gift Away at AwayTravel.com/ABSOLUTELY Visit SteveMadden.com and use code Absolutely20 at checkout for 20% off your first purchase Thanks to our friends at Spritz Society, you can try their iconic sparkling cocktails for 10% off by using code ABSOLUTELY on SpritzSociety.com If you go to GetQuip.com/ABSOLUTELY, RIGHT NOW, you’ll get your first refill FREE. Produced by Dear Media Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 9, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is fresh from her trip to Space Camp, aka a weekend of shows in Huntsville. She met a scientist at a bar that told her we only got a few weeks left- and wondered why can't the aliens fix our heavy periods? "Surely some bitch in outterspace knows how to stop a heavy flow?"- ya know that kinda vibe. Sponsors: Check out Squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot for $20 off and free shipping on orders of $100+. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $30 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely30 Get 10% off your first 3 months of Ritual when you visit Ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY & add Essential Protein today. Go to LittleWordsProject.com/ABSOLUTELY or enter ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 30% off your first order. Produced by Dear Media Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 2, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is fresh off her comedy special taping weekend- full of gratitude and adrenaline. She witnessed a fight over a snack break in the back kitchen of a salad joint and was ready to jump in and pop off, if need be. She's back with her weekly dose of unsolicited advice such as- "How to spice things up in the bedroom" to "Is it ok to eat del taco alone in your car to avoid your in-laws?" Sponsors: Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1-year supply of immune-boosting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY Right now, you can get 15% off your first order when you visit ThriveCausemetics.com/ABSOLUTELY With each can only 25 calories and 5g of sugar or less, Poppi can be found on Amazon for 15% off with code “ABSOLUTELY15” and in retailers nationwide See for yourself why Chime is so loved at Chime.com/ABSOLUTELY Thanks to our friends at Spritz Society, you can try their iconic sparkling cocktails for 10% off by using code ABSOLUTELY on SpritzSociety.com Produced by Dear Media Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 26, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather has a few biohacks for her early girlies. She hits the Absolutely NOT-line and comes up with a genius idea of how to start a men's therapy group under the full disguise of a man named Harry. Sponsors: Start your 100-day trial and shop the entire Away lineup of travel essentials, including their best-selling suitcases and bags at AwayTravel.com/absolutely Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/absolutely For listeners of the show, Everlywell is offering a special discount of twenty percent off an at-home lab test at Everlywell.com/absolutely So start your credit journey with Chime at Chime.com/absolutely If you go to GetQuip.com/ABSOLUTELY, RIGHT NOW, you’ll get your first refill FREE. Produced by Dear Media Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 19, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather has a very exciting announcement for the new tour! It's a big one! She hits the Absolutely Not Line only to give life changing advice for a young listener, help a woman keep her job at the gym and navigate what to do if you've dated a murderer. Sponsors: Go to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $30 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely30 Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE Go to paireyewear.com/absolutely for 15% off your first purchase Go to littlewordsproject.com/ABSOLUTELY or enter ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 30% off your first order Produced by Dear Media Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 12, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather recounts a scary moment from Trader Joes, how her life flashed before her eyes and why she was mad at Robin. She also hits the Absolutely Not Line- We've got grown men sucking on hard candy while they sleep, children getting tattoos, Ole Randy shits the bed and more! Sponsors: Check out Brooklinen.com today for their luxurious home and bedding essentials, and use Promo code [absolutelynot] for $20 off plus free shipping on your purchase of $100 or more. Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/absolutely Go to Talkspace.com and make sure to use the code ABSOLUTELY​ to ​get $100 off of your first month​ and show your support for the show Thanks to our friends at Spritz Society, you can try their iconic sparkling cocktails for 10% by using code ABSOLUTELY on spritzsociety.com From Sony Music Entertainment, Hello Sunshine, The Home Edit and Somethin' Else, listen and follow Best Friend Energy wherever you get your podcasts. Produced by Dear Media Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 5, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather hits the hotline to answer questions like " Why Kentucky" and " How do I stop scrolling the internet for my ex's"? The fact that folks come to Heather for actual advice is alarming but dammit she's hitting the advice line HARD. Heather also has a guided meditation for anyone over 30 who is feeling the weight of the world. Sponsors: Go to DailyHarvest.com/absolutely to get up to forty dollars off your first box. Check out squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Everlywell is offering a special discount of twenty percent off an at-home lab test at everlywell.com/absolutely. Right now Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off your first three months at Visitritual.com/ABSOLUTELY Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then start your search for a top-rated doctor today. For listeners of the show, Dipsea is offering an extended 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/ABSOLUTELY Produced by Dear Media Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 28, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from her trip to Detroit with a new respect for the thin women of Michigan and the attitude of the TSA precheck staff. She hits the hotline and asks the age old questions like "Why dont Boomers drink water?" to "Do people in Charleston have pubic hair?" Sponsors: Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $30 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely30 Get a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/absolutely Rright now you can get $20 off your first month of Nuuly when you sign up with the code ABSOLUTELY20 at Nuuly.com Right now, you can get 15% off your first order when you visit ThriveCausemetics.com/absolutely f you want to support the show and pick up a pair, goodr is giving my listeners FREE SHIPPING on your first order at Goodr.com/absolutely Produced by Dear Media Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 21, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather hits the Absolutely Not Line and the voicemails are SHOCKING! One caller is getting fired from her job for being with child, while another is out-of-the-blue allergic to pulled pork. It's literally a game of survival. We have deep embarrassing confessions and some triggering core memories. No stone is left unturned on this insane episode! Sponsors: Head to Squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Get a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/absolutely Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Go to DailyHarvest.com/absolutely to get up to forty dollars off your first box. Go to Nuuly.com and enter the code ABSOLUTELY20 and sign up to get $20 off your first month. Produced by Dear Media Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 15, 2022

On this week's episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is back after way too many difficulties joined by best friend of the show, Raymond Padilla. They talk about everything from the royal family to Ray almost losing an arm after his monkey pox vaccination - and Robin joins in after being bamboozled by the MOMA. Sponsors: Right now Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off your first three months at Visitritual.com/ABSOLUTELY Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Right now you can get $20 off your first month of Nuuly when you sign up with the code ABSOLUTELY20 For listeners of the show, Everlywell is offering a special discount of twenty percent off an at-home lab test at Everlywell.com/absolutely Use code “ABSOLUTELY15” for 15% off Poppi on Amazon and get sippin'. Produced by Dear Media Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 8, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather hits the hotline with some wildly new and improved SCAMMMMS! After a weekend of dealing with Robin's international catfishing fiasco, Heather is on High alert to the tricks and deals y'all are trying to pull. As if we didnt have enough shit to deal with already- The hotline is filled with 1200 back cracks and a frantic 911 call from Australia! Sponsors: Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Visit Brooklinen.com and use Promo code absolutelynot for $20 off plus free shipping on your purchase of $100 Get $20 off your fertility test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Start your 100-day trial and shop the entire Away lineup of travel essentials, including their best-selling suitcases and bags at AwayTravel.com/absolutely For listeners of this show, Dipsea is offering an extended 30-day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/absolutely Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 31, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather hits the Absolutely Not Line to solve the world's problems. However, after the first voicemail she quickly realizes we need to call animal control. On this week's episode- we've got a lady with a bat in her designer bag, a lady on a cruise to nowhere, and a mom trying to navigate how to save teenagers from turning to the darkside! Sponsors: Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/absolutely . Go to goodr.com/absolutely and get 15% off when you use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Use code ABSOLUTELY15 for 15% off on Amazon and get sippin' Poppi soda. Make sure to use the code ABSOLUTELY​ to ​get $100 off of your first month​ at Talkspace.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 25, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather has business consultant and friend, Raymond Padilla come to the Absolutely Not Headquarters for a full take over. It's the Board Meeting no one wanted to sit down for, but absolutely needed to attend. We're getting our ducks in a row while simultaneously fixing the world's problems by using the 5 pillars of efficiency. Ray also asks for donations at the end because Heather is sure as hell not paying him for his time or knowledge. Get a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/absolutely Head over to WooMorePlay.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off the entire site. Get 35% off site-wide at CozyEarth.com when you use the code ABSOLUTELY. Get 20% off and free shipping with code ABSOLUTELY EatDeux.com Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at Article.com/ABSOLUTELY Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 17, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is reporting live from the PANHANDLE of Florida, aka 30A. She is back from Mississippi and narrowly skirted death on the highway, only to have a new lease on life. She is taking no bullshit and dishing out some of the best advice she's ever given from the hotline. Like- Why heterosexual couples should never own catering companies- to what to do if your teeth are falling out. That and more! Check Out Squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Use promo code absolutelynot for $20 off and free shipping on your order of $100+ at Brooklinen.com Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then start your search for a top-rated doctor today. FX’s Little Demon premieres August 25 on FXX. Stream on Hulu! Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 10, 2022

On this week's episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- After a wonderful weekend back in the college town of Athens, GA- Heather is shooketh to her core taking a walk down memory lane- the nostalgia of sorority row, the tequila shots from locals are all flooding back to her hypothalamus. She hits the Absolutely Not Hotline to fight with a woman who doesnt like Tang- another broad bitching about getting a titty on her back during a massage- and makes a public apology to the Mid Atlantic. Right now Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off your first three months at VisitRitual.com/ABSOLUTELY. Go to DailyHarvest.com/absolutely to get up to forty dollars off your first box. Head to EatDeux.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off and free shipping. Get 35% off site-wide when you use the code ABSOLUTELY at CozyEarth.com FX’s Little Demon premieres August 25 on FXX. Stream on Hulu! Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 3, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is wondering if her August invite to the hamptons got lost in the mail? So weird- no one has invited her to stay at their mega mansion while Robin skeets down the long island highway on a crotch rocket on her way to a tj maxx. She hits the Absolutely Not line in hopes that the invitation is on the voicemails.. but looks like she'll have to wait till next summer. Check Out Squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. For listeners of the show, Dipsea is offering an extended 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/ABSOLUTELY Visit AthleticGreens.com/absolutely for a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. Cozy Earth is providing an exclusive offer for my listener’s today. 35% off site wide when you use the code ABSOLUTELY. Start your 100-day trial and shop the entire Away lineup of travel essentials, including their best-selling suitcases and bags at AwayTravel.com/ABSOLUTELY Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 27, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is hitting the Absolutely Not Hotline to answer your hard hitting questions- like "Why can't we make Tanning Booths a thing again" or "What should I do if I have Alopecia on my head but not my crotch". Heather dissects her own quarter life crisis while simultaneously helping your figure out yours- its a real team effort this week! Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely. Visit AthleticGreens.com/absolutely for a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. Head over to WooMorePlay.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off the entire site. Get 20% off and free shipping with code ABSOLUTELY at eatdeux.com . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 21, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from her whirlwind year long honeymoon. While she should feel refreshed, renewed and wildly in love- she is lucky to not be in an italian jail cell after clearly spending TOO MUCH TIME with her husband Jeff. She breaks down the importance of communication, how much wine she drank every day at lunch and her plans to do it all over again. Check out squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Visit seed.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY to redeem 20% off your first month of Seed's DS-01™ Daily Synbiotic. Go to goodr.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 15% off when you use code: ABSOLUTELY at checkout. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com and use the code ABSOLUTELY ​to ​get $100 off of your first month. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 13, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather chats with fellow comedian and newly single pal, Jared Freid. They break down the hard truths of what it's like to navigate show biz, inspire folks with humor and have someone literally NOT be a fan. Jared breaks down his new- on-the-scene dating horrors and these two giggle like thelma and louise over how TikTok will slowly kill us all. Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Athletic Greens is going to give you one FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/ABSOLUTELY Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 6, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather sits down with her favorite grumpy old man- comedian Andrew Collin. They dissect his new life living with a lady, reminisce on Spring Break in Destin and he helps Heather understand why Jeff packed a scale in his carry-on. Check out squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code [absolutelynot] to get $20 off your purchase of $100 or more. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY and turn healthy habits into a Ritual. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Produced Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 29, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews the queens of the southern hair empire, Salty Locks, Britt and Amber Harrington. They discuss working with family, a female run business and explain why the alligators near the nuclear plant in Augusta got 3 legs and an attitude. These girls mean business while also keeping it real country and that's why we love them! Athletic Greens is going to give you one FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/ABSOLUTELY Go to dailyharvest.com/ABSOLUTELY to get up to forty dollars off your first box! Get free shipping on all water and merch at LiquidDeath.com/ABSOLUTELY Head over to WooMorePlay.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off the entire site. Article is offering our listeners 50 dollars off their first purchase of $100 or more at article.com/ABSOLUTELY Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 22, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather chats with her genuine friend, Jackie Schimmel. They discuss their summer plans to move to Europe, Eat all the food, lay horizontal and release their aggression on innocent bystanders through shoving and pushing tourists. It's unhinged, it's dialed in and it's insane. Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Go to Brooklinen.com today and use promo code [absolutelynot] to get $20 off your purchase of $100 or more plus free shipping. Go to Grove.com/ABSOLUTELY today to get a free gift set worth up to fifty dollars with your first order plus free shipping. Visit seed.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code [ABSOLUTELY] to redeem 20% off your first month of Seed's DS-01™ Daily Synbiotic. To grab your two pills a day, head to moonjuice.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 15, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather has had a fully mental breakdown from the complete shitshow that has been her wedding prep. She has finally turned into one of THOSE brides and is about to hoard the wedding gifts and tell everyone to fuck off. Honestly- she's probably spending too much time in her sauna bag and its quickly kiling off her brain cells- but who is even paying attention anymore. She hit the Absolutely Not line- She's unglued, unhinged and unwell! Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your fist purchase at AthleticGreens.com/absolutely Exclusive discount (they never do this) - 20% off and free shipping with code ABSOLUTELY at www.EatDeux.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 8, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather hits the hotline- only to double down on the fact that women might be the REAL scammers. We've got a lady running an ER out of her garage, A time traveler, a handful of bad drivers and a sweet woman named Abby prepping for a colonoscopy- All that and more! Check out squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Match with your dedicated therapist today at talkspace.com , and use promo code absolutely during sign-up to get $100 off your first month. Right now Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off your first three months at ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY. Article is offering our listeners $50 off their first purchase of $100 or more at article.com/ABSOLUTELY Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 1, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from her final farewell tour performance. Just when she thought it was time to get an IV drip of propofol for her medically induced coma, her friends throw her a surprise party filled with drag queens, secrets and snacks! Heather breaks down what a wild week its been and also hits the Absolutely Not Line and more! Go to athleticgreens.com/absolutely for a FREE 1 year supply of immune supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. Follow Ashland on Instagram @ashlandhardseltzer Go to goodr.com/absolutely and get 15% off when you use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Head to moonjuice.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off. Go to grove.com/ABSOLUTELY today to get a free gift set worth up to fifty dollars with your first order. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 25, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely not podcast, Heather is letting you know, School is out for summer and bitch we are fully booked! It doesn't matter if you are hustlin' as a lifeguard, taking the kids to camp or treating yourself to a hoagie by the highway, Summer 2023 bout to be on and poppin! Visit Brooklinen.com and use Promo code [absolutelynot] for $20 off your purchase of $100 Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/absolutely Follow Ashland on Instagram @ashlandhardseltzer Right now, for a limited time, you can save $10 on your first purchase when you go to StoryWorth.com/absolutely Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 20, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather takes you down memory lane and drives you right into the "Core MeMories" of your childhood- from the sheer joy you'd feel on a field trip day, to the sadness you felt if your mom was late to chaperone- It's a whirlwind of emotion and its all flooding back after hitting the Absolutely Not Line. Check out squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Receive 20% off PLUS Free Shipping on your order at DRINKOLIPOP.com/ABSOLUTELY Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then start your search for a top-rated doctor today. Visit seed.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code [ABSOLUTELY] to redeem 20% off your first month of Seed's DS-01™ Daily Synbiotic. Go to DailyHarvest.com/absolutely to get up to forty dollars off your first box! That Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 11, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back south of the border from her weekend of shows in Toronto. After getting held up at the border, listening to a threesome all night and crushing an international Nordstrom- she lives to tell about it- We also have a surprise appearance from Robin McMahan to spill the tea on the latest suburbian drama! Get 5% off + a free Pique sampler pack (with 6 of their best-selling flavors) when you purchase 2+ cartons with code ABSOLUTELY at piquelife.com/absolutely Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/absolutely Ashland is gluten free, malt free, zero carbs, sugar free, no fat, and 100 calories. For more follow them on instagram at @ashlandhardseltzer To grab your two pills a day, head to moonjuice.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 4, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is back in the LA studios fresh from a midwest weekend on tour. She's working, but apparently not enough to save her from being humbled in a burger joint by general manager who takes his job REAL serious. Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Match with your dedicated therapist today at talkspace.com , and use promo code absolutely during sign-up to get $100 off your first month. Get $20 off your fertility test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely . Right now Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off your first three months at ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY . Get free shipping on all water and merch at LiquidDeath.com/ABSOLUTELY . Produced by D ear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 27, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is back from a 3-day bender on the West coast. She saw a mormon trying to escape in Salt Lake, a man with a neck tat cry in Phoenix and a drive-by in Sacramento. Three amazing shows but spilling all the tea, with Tina T. Visit Brooklinen.com and use Promo code [absolutelynot] for $20 off your purchase of $100 Go to DRINKOLIPOP.com/ABSOLUTELY or use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off plus free shipping. Visit athleticgreens.com/absolutely for a free one year supply and five free travel packs with your first purchase. Use code HEATHER at checkout for 25% off your first month or diagnostic test at allarahealth.com Go to Grove.com/ABSOLUTELY today to get a free gift set worth up to fifty dollars with your first order. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 20, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is celebrating the Rising of the lord, with some street safety tips and life advice. She is so full of knowledge and shit at the same time it's alarming. She hits the Absolutely-NOT-Line to solve some of y'alls problems and realizes you all need a lot more than Jesus. Check out Squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Get a FREE 1 year s pply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/absolutely . Go to Framebridge.com and use promo code ABSOLUTELY to save an additional 15% off your first order. Use code HEATHER at checkout for 25% off your first month or diagnostic test at AllaraHealth.com/heather Upgrade your bra today and get 20% off your first order today at ThirdLove.com/absolutely Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 13, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather has on her man of honor, Raymond Padilla, and they give you a play by play of how they scammed their way into the Masters this weekend. There were a lot of chicken salad sandwiches and white wine to be had, but most importantly they learned about themselves. Get 5% off + a free Pique sampler pack (with 6 of their best-selling flavors) when you purchase 2+ cartons at PiqueLife.com/absolutely with code ABSOLUTELY. Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then start your search for a top-rated doctor today. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely . Go to ShipStation.com , click on the microphone at the top of the page, and type in ABSOLUTELY to get a 60-day free trial. Visit Seed.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code [ABSOLUTELY] to redeem 20% off your first month of Seed’s Daily Synbiotic. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 6, 2022

On this roller coaster of an episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is back in the LA studios. She talks about her wedding woes, nightmares and THAT guy at the gym - then hits the hotline to save the world, one problem at time. Head to Squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com and use the code absolutely to get $100 off of your first Visit Ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY for 10% off your first three months. For a limited time, Absolutely Not listeners can get an exclusive 15% off your pair of CARIUMA sneakers at cariuma.com/ABSOLUTELY Go to allarahealth.com/heather and use code HEATHER at checkout for 25% off your first month or diagnostic test. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 30, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from the Boca Yacht Club and has decided she needs to be on the intercoastal with Annie Hathaway & some old dude from New Jersey. She spent a weekend on Spring Break, not by choice. She also hits the hotline and answers life's dumbest questions. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelysnot for $20 off your purchase of $100 or more. Go to CARIUMA.com/ABSOLUTELY to get 15% off your pair of CARIUMA sneakers. Less money, less worries, MORE beach when you book at CheapCaribbean.com Receive 20% off PLUS free shipping on your first order at DRINKOLIPOP.COM/ABSOLUTELY or use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Use code HEATHER at checkout for 25% off your first month or diagnostic test. Visit www.AllaraHealth.com/heather for more information. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 23, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from a magical midwest weekend. She had a tour stop in Tulsa and Omaha and in between had one of the creepiest Airline lounge experiences of her life. But in true McMahan fashion, Heather slays the Absolutely Nots while keeping it somehow glass half full. Head to Squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Less money, less worries, MORE beach when you book at CheapCaribbean.com Get $20 off your fertility test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely . Go to DailyHarvest.com/absolutely to get up to $40 off your first box. Go to Nuuly.com and enter the code ABSOLUTELY20 and sign up to get $20 off your first month. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 17, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is so selfless she does ACTUAL work on her birthday to give you the full scoop on her Parisian travels from the weekend. What a wild, dairy-fueled ride that was. She gives you a list of what she wants for her birthday so you can plan accordingly and explains that if a grown man drinks an apple juice next to you on a flight - Watch out! Limited Time Offer: Get 5% off + a free Pique sampler pack (with 6 of their best-selling flavors) when you purchase 2 + cartons with code ABSOLUTELY on PiqueLife.com/absolutely For a limited time, Absolutely Not listeners can get an exclusive 15% off your pair of CARIUMA sneakers at Cariuma.com/absolutely Get 20% off your first order by visiting www.ForiaWellness.com/ABSOLUTELY OR use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then start your search for a top-rated doctor today. Go to ShipStation.com , click on the microphone at the top of the page, and type in ABSOLUTELY to get a 60-day free trial. Right now you can get $20 off your first month of Nuuly when you sign up with the code ABSOLUTELY20 Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 9, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast - Heather is on a real tear on International Women's Day. After a great weekend in Albany slinging jokes, she's back with attitude and some health advice - sort of. Heather hits the Absolutely-Not-Line and tries to fix your wildest problems. Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Right now, you can get 20% off your first order when you go to blueland.com/absolutely Right now Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off your first three months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY and turn healthy habits into a Ritual. Go to catalinacrunch.com/ABSOLUTELY for 15% off your first order—plus FREE shipping. Nuuly is already a great value at $88 a month for any 6 styles, but right now you can get $20 off your first month at Nuuly.com when you sign up with the code ABSOLUTELY20. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 2, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather tries her best to understand what the absolute fuck is going on- but it's pretty much all a big Absolutely NOT. She hits the hotline to see if y'alls problems are any better.. news flash- they aren't. We've got peeping toms, angry tennis coaches and ex's who won't leave us alone! Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to Modern Fertility dot com slash absolutely. Match with a licensed therapist when you go to talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month with the promo code ABSOLUTELY. Upgrade your bra today and get 20% off your first order today at ThirdLove.com/absolutley Less money, less worries, MORE beach. Book today at CheapCaribbean.com . Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Feb 23, 2022

Heather sits down with Harvey Guillen to talk about the struggles of working in the industry and their hilarious Bone, Marry, Bury picks. Make sure to check Bone, Marry, Bury anywhere you can find podcasts. Head to Squarespace.com/ABSONOT for a free trial when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code ABSONOT to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Don’t sleep on savings. Brooklinen’s Presidents’ Day Sale is happening now. Listening after the sale? Get the deals of your dreams at Brooklinen.com with promo code absolutelynot You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support our show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELY to save FIFTEEN DOLLARS OFF your first month’s subscription -- this is their best offer ANYWHERE and it is only available to US customers for a limited time. Daily Harvest makes it easy to feel good about what I’m doing for myself and the planet. Go to DailyHarvest.com/absolutely to get up to forty dollars off your first box! Right now, Embark has a limited time offer on their Breed and Health Kit and Purebred Kit for our listeners! Go to EmbarkVet.com to get free shipping and save $50 with promo code [ABSOLUTELY]. Produced by Dear Media . See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Feb 18, 2022

Heather is back in the studio and joined by the Georgia Law Lady herself, Ashley McMahan. And as usual when these two get together, hilarity ensues. Right now Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off your first three months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY and turn healthy habits into a Ritual. Foria is offering a special deal for our listeners. Get 20% off your first order by visiting www.foriawellness.com/ABSOLUTELY OR use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Less money, less worries, MORE beach when you book at CheapCaribbean.com Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Feb 9, 2022

Heather is joined by fellow comedian Ali Kolbert to talk all things comedy, and the real tea about being a woman in the industry. Prepare for many laughs ahead! Check out The Ali Kolbert Show anywhere you get your podcasts to hear more from Ali. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to Modern Fertility.com/absolutely . Go to catalinacrunch.com/ABSOLUTELY for 15% off your first order— plus FREE shipping! Right now, you can get 20% off your first order when you go to Blueland.com/ absolutely . Check out squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Feb 2, 2022

Heather is back in the studio in LA and more unhinged than ever! Today we are discussing the role Heather was meant to play, why people who wear glasses are really just liars, and reminiscing on stories from the tour. Buckle your seatbelts folks and dont forget - your'e lying to yourself if you dont think you need therapy. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot for $20 off, with a minimum purchase of $100. Visit Talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month when you use promo code absolutely at sign up. To make it easy, Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com/absolutely . What are you waiting for? Join the Movement and get 20% off your first 4 orders when you go to imperfectfoods.com and use promo code ABSOLUTELY . Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 26, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is back in California drinking Wine with the Kardashians. Fresh off a 3 show run in Dallas- She breaks down the funniest shit that happened in the Lone Star state and explains why every nail salon owner wears slippery Nikes. Did you also know Texas dip their chips in butter? You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support our show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELY to save FIFTEEN DOLLARS OFF your first month’s subscription -- this is their best offer ANYWHERE and it is only available to US customers for a limited time. Go to DAILYHARVEST.com/absolutely to get up to forty dollars off your first box! FORIA is offering a special deal for our listeners. Get 20% off your first order by visiting foriawellness.com/ABSOLUTELY OR use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Less money, less worries, MORE beach. Book today at CheapCaribbean.com. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 19, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast Heather raises some mild suspicions that an older generation of first class passengers have it in for her. She can't tell if they are trying to intimidate her back to coach or if she is really in the wrong. Fresh off a wonderful weekend touring she's hitting the hotline with all of your issues! G to Squarespace.com/absonot for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code ABSONOT to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to Modern Fertility.com/absolutely . Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com/absolutely . Right now, you can get 20% off your first order when you go to Blueland.com/ absolutely . Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 13, 2022

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews her dear friend Jorge Collazo, about his years in the hotel biz and what it's like to date on a tiny island. Ever wondered what Grindr in the Caribbean has to offer? Don't you worry- Jorge has done the work for you! There's lots of giggles and some endearing reminders to put your feet in the sand and not take life so seriously! Right now Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off your first three months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY and turn healthy habits into a Ritual. Go to Framebridge.com and use promo code ABSOLUTELY to save an additional 15% off your first order. Less money, less worries, MORE beach. Book today at CheapCaribbean.com . Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 5, 2022

On this episode of the absolutely not podcast Heather is back from a tryst with Santa and hopped up on supplements & a hope and a prayer. Everyone is panicked about the dumpster fire of the beginning of this year- but here we are holding on for dear life, full of acid reflux and optimism, damnitt! Go to Squarespace.com/ABSONOT for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code ABSONOT to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Refresh your rest with the comfort essentials from Brooklinen. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot for $20 off, with a minimum purchase of $100. Visit talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month when you use promo code absolutely at sign up. What are you waiting for? Join the Movement and get 20% off your first 4 orders when you go to IMPERFECTFOODS.COM and use promo code ABSOLUTELY . Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 29, 2021

On this final episode of the Absolutely Not podcast of 2021- Heather ends the year strong- on an emotional rollercoaster of barely holding her shit together. It's obvious all of the listeners are fully spiraling as well - like the High School Musical says "were all in this together". Whether you're fighting omicron or just fighting with your family, Heather takes to the Absolutely NOT line to set the record straight! Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to Modern Fertility.com/absolutely . Go to getcanopy.co today and use code ABSOLUTELY10 for an extra 10% off at checkout. Your skin will thank you! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 22, 2021

It's the end of the year and Heather is filled with all the warm fuzzies! Tune in for her year in review - she's talking gratitude and getting real about coping with the pressure of the industry. Plus, were chatting poultry, UHauls and parental dating on the Absolutely Not Line! Win the gift game this season with Rothy’s shoes and accessories. Get $20 off your first purchase at rothys.com/ABSOLUTELY with extended returns and exchanges through the holidays. Get $20 off your fertility test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely . Get 20% off your first mani system when you use promo code ABSOLUTELY at oliveandjune.com Get $10 off your first product order of $50 or more on italic.com with code ABSOLUTELYNOT . Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 15, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is answering all of your questions on the Absolutely Not line and noticing a common theme- That white trash scammer named Trish. Turns out she is bugging everyone this year with her antics while she smokes menthols outside of the Buick enclave. She's a scammer, a lover and loves raw meat. You'll understand when you take a listen... Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY25 and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY25” at checkout for 25% off your order and free shipping in the US. We’ve worked out a special deal for my listeners. Receive 20% off PLUS Free Shipping SITE WIDE. I recommend trying one of their best selling variety packs, it’s a great way to try all of their delicious flavors. Go to JUNESHINE.com/ABSOLUTELY or use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout to claim this deal. Match with a licensed therapist when you go to talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month with the promo code ABSOLUTELY . Don’t miss out, Brooklinen’s biggest sale of the year is here! Listening after the sale? You can still save. Visit Brooklinen.com and use Promo code absolutelynot for $20 off with a minimum purchase of $100. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 10, 2021

In this special bonus episode, Robin joins Heather to discuss her goals for 2022 and why she should be running a youth detention center. On the voicemails we are talking bad wedding guests, kissin' cousins and unfortunate tattoos. The holidays are upon us and the Absolutely Not's are more unhinged than ever! Go to getcanopy.co to save $25 on your Canopy Humidifier purchase today when you opt into a replacement filter subscription. You’ll receive a replacement filter every 6 weeks (right when it’s time for a new one) PLUS, you’ll receive a free aroma kit to be used with Canopy Humidifier’s built-in aroma diffuser. Go to athleticgreens.com/absolutely for a fee 1 year supply of immune supporting Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 8, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh from her tour of the Florida and Carolina coasts. It was a wild weekend of live, laugh, lovin. Heather remembers growing up as an organic kid looking for their chemical fix. There are lots of trigger warnings in this episode from the sweaty kid in PE to a bitch not letting you drink red wine at her wedding. Buckle up and don't listen if you're easily offended. Get 20% off your first order by visiting foriawellness.com/ABSOLUTELY OR use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY25 and use promo code " ABSOLUTELY25 ” at checkout for 25% off your order Go to Thepillclub.com/ABSOLUTELY , to get your first birth control care package and donate to help more women in need of affordable birth control. Get 20% off your first mani system when you use promo code ABSOLUTELY at oliveandjune.com Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 1, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, we're having a post-thanksgiving bitch fest because everyone has been forced into unwanted family-time and now we're all chain-smoking near the garage. IT'S A MESS. It's time to reboot bitches, and take some time for yourself-because if we don't, we won't make it out of the holiday's alive! Get $10 off your first product order of $50 or more on italic.com with code ABSOLUTELYNOT . With StoryWorth I am giving those I love most a thoughtful, personal gift from the heart and preserving their memories and stories for years to come. Go to StoryWorth.com/absolutely and save $10 on your first purchase! Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely . Right now Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off your first three months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY and turn healthy habits into a Ritual. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 24, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews her favorite, Bad bitch, female chef, Soraya Khoury- owner of Hen Mother Cookhouse in ATL. Did you know that fixing your dry ass bullshit turkey is as simple as slathering that bitch with clarified butter? Chef Soraya has all the tips and tricks to make your holiday perfect while also fighting the patriarchy! I’ve got you a special 30% off your order and free shipping in the US for BLACK FRIDAY. Just head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY30 and use promo code " ABSOLUTELY30 ” at checkout. Visit Brooklinen.com and use Promo code absolutelynot for $20 off with a minimum purchase of $100. Get 20% off your first mani system when you use promo code ABSOLUTELY at oliveandjune.com Get free shipping on all water and merch at LiquidDeath.com/ABSOLUTELY. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 17, 2021

Heather is fresh off of having her labia, ahem, I mean larynx investigated and things are rough. She is joined today by good friend and road dog Christina Tompkins to chat all things tour, positive heckling, farty cowboys, and the power of Google. After all the computer knows more than you ever will. Match with a licensed therapist when you go to talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month with the promo code ABSOLUTELY. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to Prose.com/absolutely . Birch is giving 400 dollars off ALL mattresses and 2 free eco-rest pillows at BirchLiving.com/absolutely That’s thepillclub.com/absolutely , to get your first birth control care package and donate to help more women in need of affordable birth control. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 10, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with her mother, Judge Judy, to discuss her toddler-like behavior on the road this weekend. She showed up ready to party and inevitably steal the show. They discuss Robin's old blind-dates, a chocolate factory and how men never change, for example getting boners on the dance floor! So much family fun and more! Get 20% off your first order by visiting foriawellness.com/ABSOLUTELY or use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely . Get 20% off your first mani system when you use promo code ABSOLUTELY at oliveandjune.com Go to JUNESHINE.com/ABSOLUTELY or use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off plus free shipping. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 3, 2021

On this week's episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is triggered by a woman named Margret who wouldn't let her have her hometown sportz moment in peace. Her husband doesnt know what a thermometer is and she was shaken like Italian dressing at the Braves game and is really raging on memories from the past. She hits the hotline and clearly y'all were goin through some shit this weekend too. Visit Brooklinen.com and use Promo code absolutelynot for $20 off with a minimum purchase of $100 Right now, you can get $20 off your first purchase at rothys.com/ABSOLUTELY Right now Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off your first three months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY and turn healthy habits into a Ritual. Get $10 off your first product order of $50 or more on italic.com with code ABSOLUTELYNOT . Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 27, 2021

Heather is fresh off her weekend in Ohio where she had a genital injury but things are turning around now that she is reunited with her BFF, Raymond Padilla. He’s a pillar of every community but also a full liability. They discuss “tying one on” and squirting through life. Foria is offering our listeners 20% off your first order by visiting foriawellness.com/Absolutely or use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout! I’ve got you 20% off your order and free shipping in the US. Just head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code " ABSOLUTELY ” at checkout. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely . Get free shipping on all water and merch at LiquidDeath.com/ABSOLUTELY or grab some at Whole Foods, Sprouts, and 7-Eleven. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 20, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is fresh off an amazing weekend of touring and is jazzed with the spirit of the Lord, We rebuke any evil in the name of Jesus... and ALSO answer your horrific voicemails on the Absolutely Not line. If you need a little support to help you through the end of the year, or want to start building towards a better upcoming year, Talkspace is here to help. Match with a licensed therapist when you go to talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month with the promo code ABSOLUTELY . Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Canopy has a special offer for Absolutely Not listeners! Go to GetCanopy.co code ABSOLUTELY10 at checkout to save an additional 10% off your Canopy purchase. See Oldnavy.com/bodequality for additional details. Styles subject to availability. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 13, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather finally gets her mother to sit down and give her 10 minutes of time. Robin has an extensive pro's and cons list of dating must-haves, and good luck to anyone at all that can live up to her list of demands. Naturally the conversation is as ADHD as the kid named Terry in your first grade class, but here we are folks. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot to get $20 off, with a minimum purchase of $100 See Oldnavy.com/bodequality for additional details. Styles subject to availability. Right now Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off your first three months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY and turn healthy habits into a Ritual. That’s 10% off at ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 6, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is jolted back into her Suburban life with paying bills and dealing with Diva Red. Nothing more humbling than coming home to your mother screaming about parking prices. She's taking your calls on the Absolutely-Not-Line, and it seems like y'all are struggling to keep your shit together just like Heather. It's refreshing to know, that October is off to a hot mess and no one can fit in their jeans either. Right now, you can get $20 off your first purchase at rothys.com/ABSOLUTELY Right now, when you go to thepillclub.com/ABSOLUTELY The Pill Club is offering a $10 donation to Bedsider.org for every Absolutely Not listener who becomes a patient. Get 20% off your first mani system when you use promo code ABSOLUTELY at oliveandjune.com See Oldnavy.com/bodequality for additional details. Styles subject to availability. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 1, 2021

Heather is in the Mile High City, or as she now calls it The High City. We are talking mom weed, IBS, depressed flowers and Heather's rude awakening returning to the US after her Italian adventure. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely . Get free shipping on all water and merch at liquiddeath.com/absolutely. Or grab some at Whole Foods or 7-Eleven. Get 20% off your first mani system when you use promo code ABSOLUTELY at oliveandjune.com See Oldnavy.com/bodequality for additional details. Styles subject to availability. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 23, 2021

On this Special bonus Episode of Absolutely Not, Heather is once again recording from Italy before heading to the Mile-High City (Denver) to continue her tour. Not all is as it seems in idyllic Repubblica Italiana as Heather copes with being bamboozled with overpriced laundry and glass sculptures. Jeff joins in to justify the need to photograph everything and his observations on Italy’s rich culture. See Oldnavy.com/bodequality for additional details. Styles subject to availability. Go to Tradesy.com to get $100 off your first purchase of $500 or more with code ABSOLUTELY If you need a little support to help you through the end of the year, or want to start building towards a better upcoming year, Talkspace is here to help. Match with a licensed therapist when you go to talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month with the promo code ABSOLUTELY . I’ve got you 20% off your order and free shipping in the US. Just head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code " ABSOLUTELY ” at checkout. So, go on--get comfortable, and get it for less at Brooklinen. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot to get $20 off, with a minimum purchase of $100. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 21, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is recording from her hotel in Venice,Italy. She has already spent too much money and is waiting for the hotel to kick her out once they realize she cannot actually afford this lifestyle. Jeff and Heather discuss the rose and thorn of their trip thus far and hopefully their marriage makes it to the next stop, Firenze. This episode was brought to you by Venus for Pubic Hair and Skin. Check out gillettevenus.com to learn more about why these products have been flying off shelves everywhere. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 15, 2021

On this episode of Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather has come unhinged with the bullshit. Between Jeff's sweaty ass and everyone giving their opinion on everything, MUST BE REAL NICE SHERYL, to blow up your own facebook with insanity. She's hitting the Absolutely Not line and its very clear y'all are rolling into fall on the hot mess express. Get more time back to *do you* and take care of yourself this summer! Go to DAILYHARVEST.com and enter code absolutely to get up to forty dollars off your first box! Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to Prose.com/absolutely. Birch is giving 200 dollars off ALL mattresses and 2 free eco-rest pillows at BirchLiving.com/absolutely Right now Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off your first three months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY and turn healthy habits into a Ritual. See Oldnavy.com/bodequality for additional details. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 11, 2021

On this episode Heather breaks down her trip to Vegas, how she survived but wishes she had a scooter the whole time. She's taking your calls from the Hotline and giving you a hot safety tip reminder! Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Get 10% off for first time users in when you shop at versedskin.com with promo code ABSOLUTELY To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to VIZZYHARDSELTZER.COM/ABSOLUTELY . See Oldnavy.com/bodequality for additional details. Styles subject to availability. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 1, 2021

Heather is joined by Ashley Hesseltine and Rayna Greenberg, hosts of the Girls Gotta Eat Podcast to chat all things tour life, unruly fans and wild college memories. Buckle in for this one! Right now Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off your first three months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY and turn healthy habits into a Ritual. I’ve got you 20% off your order and free shipping in the US. Just head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout. Get 20% off your first mani system when you use promo code ABSOLUTELY at oliveandjune.com Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot to get $20 off, with a minimum purchase of $100 See Oldnavy.com/bodequality for additional details. Styles subject to availability. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 29, 2021

Heather is back in LA and she is hot and bothered - literally! In todays' episode Heather talks tour life, gives her best dating advice and stalks an LA masseuse (were looking at your Ruben). Buckle up for this wild ride! Go to Tradesy.com to get $100 off your first purchase of $500 or more with code ABSOLUTELY Get key nutrients–without the B.S. Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off during your first 3 months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY to start your Ritual today. Birch is giving 200 dollars off ALL mattresses and 2 free eco-rest pillows at BirchLiving.com/absolutely Get 20% off your first mani system when you use promo code ABSOLUTELY at oliveandjune.com Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 25, 2021

Heather has teamed up with Old Navy for this episode all about bod-equality and being your most "boss a$$ b*tch" self. She also gets into the perils of cat-fishing, why all Scottish men are hot and why women should really just lean the f*ck out. See Oldnavy.com/bodequality for additional details. Styles subject to availability. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 21, 2021

Heather gets down and dirty with her thoughts on the Alabama Sorority Rush craze and recounts her own experiences as a southern sorority girl! This episode is brought to you by Venus. Check out gillettevenus.com to learn more about why these products have been flying off shelves everywhere. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 18, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back on the road tearing it up one club at a time. She's in Arkansas and happier than a literal pig in shit to be telling jokes again. She's wrestling with a lil razorback aka all y'alls problems from the Hotline too! Shits getting wild, we got ladies suckin on bars of soap In Target! Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely. Go to CheapCaribbean.com/Absolutely-Not to get a great deal. We’ll see you on the beach. To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to VIZZYHARDSELTZER.COM/ABSOLUTELY Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code " ABSOLUTELY ” at checkout for 20% off your order and free shipping in the US. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 11, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather answers the age-old questions of "How do I get back at my ex-fiance?", "Why is everyone an idiot?", "Is the world ending?" ya know, light hearted life advice and such. She hits the Absolutely Not Line while shamelessly plugging her comedy tour she is desperate for you to come to. Get 20% off your first mani system when you use promo code ABSOLUTELY at oliveandjune.com Go to Tradesy.com to get $100 off your first purchase of $500 or more with code ABSOLUTELY Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot to get $20 off, with a minimum purchase of $100 Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 4, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather hit the Absolutely Not line with all of your insane but very valid issues. It's apparent no one at the CDC knows what's going on and we apparently all need to freshen up on our Morris code, because a storm is -A-brewing! Go to CheapCaribbean.com/absolutely-not to get a great deal. We’ll see you on the beach. You can try OSEA risk-free for 30 days and get free shipping on orders over $50. They even send free samples with every order! And get 10% off your first order with my promo code ABSOLUTELY at OSEAmalibu.com . Your new nail life is here! Get 20% off your first mani system when you use promo code ABSOLUTELY at oliveandjune.com Get Honey for FREE at JoinHoney.com/ABSOLUTELY. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 28, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather checks in on her buddy and apparent Warehouse Party-goer, Ray Padilla. He is a pillar of the "Leisure Gay" community and here to judge you. They discuss Strip clubs, ideal work environments and future goals. Go to dailyharvest.com and enter code absolutely to get up to forty dollars off your first box! I’ve got you 20% off your order and free shipping in the US. Just head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code " ABSOLUTELY ” at checkout. Match with a licensed therapist when you go to talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month with the promo code ABSOLUTELY. To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to VIZZYHARDSELTZER.COM/ABSOLUTELY Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 21, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is day 1 on a cleanse in the words of Chris Farley "STARVING OVER HERE". She is hitting the hotline harder than ever before. It is always comforting to her to see that everyone else is doing as terrible as she is! Go to WithAgency.com/absolutelynot for a free 30-day trial, just pay $4.95 for shipping and handling! Go to CheapCaribbean.com/AbsolutelyNot to get a great deal. We’ll see you on the beach. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot to get $20 off, with a minimum purchase of $100 To start listening, simply download the Spotify app, sign up for FREE, and search for Armchair Expert. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 14, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather has been in her basement working on the tour and has her buddy Christopher Ketner trapped. They decided to jump into the voicemail hotline to see what you lil rascals have been up to. Just head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code " ABSOLUTELY ” at checkout for 20% off of your order. Get 10% off your first Versed order when you shop at versedskin.com with promo code ABSOLUTELY . Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to Prose.com/absolutely . Listen to Armchair Expert for free, now ONLY on Spotify. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 8, 2021

Heather is fresh from her vacay in the Turks and has a PSA for anyone trying to be a friggin LESLIE out there. We literally don't have time for this shit. It's a Hot Girl's Summer and a few of y'all are coming in with an icy attitude. Heather hits the hotline and answers some of your questions and more. Match with a licensed therapist when you go to talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month with the promo code ABSOLUTELY. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot to get $20 off, with a minimum purchase of $100 Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 30, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with her mother and artist extraordinaire, The Red Contemporary, to discuss work, dating, and general fabulosity. Diva Red is dishing out a healthy dose of not fucking around, per usual. Go to CheapCaribbean.com/AbsolutelyNot to get a great deal. We’ll see you on the beach. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely You can try OSEA risk-free for 30 days and get free shipping on orders over $50. They even send free samples with every order! And get 10% off your first order with my promo code ABSOLUTELY at OSEAmalibu.com . To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to vizzyhardseltzer.com/ABSOLUTELY . Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 23, 2021

On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather gets a lil pep-in-her-step after realizing she might in-fact qualify for the Olympics. After hitting the Voicemail hot line, she finds out someone got their vagina scratch by a house cat and lube is on lock-up at da Walmarts. That and more! Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order and free shipping in the US. Get 10% off for first time users when you shop at versedskin.com with promo code Absolutely Birch is giving 200 dollars off ALL mattresses and 2 free eco-rest pillows at BirchLiving.com/absolutely Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 16, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is sitting down with her attorney & sister, Ashley McMahan. They are catching up on the wild weekend's they both had. With sandy toes, full drinks and love in their hearts the girls hatch a plan to send their mother off for a sanity check so they can focus on their new shark tank idea. Get $20 off your fertility test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely. To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to vizzyhardseltzer.com/ABSOLUTELY . Go to WithAgency.com/absolutelynot for a free 30-day trial, just pay $4.95 for shipping and handling! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 9, 2021

On this episode of the absolutely not podcast, Heather is literally coming out of the operating room and recording this whole podcast honestly, kinda high. No days off for this SHEMPIRE! lolzzz jk dont quote me. She is tackling your biggest absolutely not's yet, one voicemail at a time. Get started right away with no shipping required by going to StoryWorth.com/absolutely . You’ll get $10 off your first purchase! You can try OSEA risk-free for 30 days and get free shipping on orders over $50. They even send free samples with every order! And get 10% off your first order with my promo code ABSOLUTELY at OSEAmalibu.com . Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot to get $20 off, with a minimum purchase of $100 Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 2, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is on a downward spiral from injecting hormones like a Kardashian getting a BBL. When she is inspired by a caller to get in touch with her Floridian roots it sparks joy in her heart and inspires her to quit everything and become a DJ in Fort Myers. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com. Make sure to use the code ABSOLUTELY to get $100 off of your first month and show your support for the show. Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order! Get Honey for FREE at JoinHoney.com/ABSOLUTELY Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 26, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is sweating through her linen short set, anxiously awaiting her second round of egg freezing & stresses AF about work. She is keeping herself chained to a radiator in the basement and needs someone to come bring her a self-care snack. Y'all don't seem to be doing much better by the sounds of these voicemails..... Get key nutrients–without the B.S. Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off during your first 3 months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY to start your Ritual today. Birch is giving 200 dollars off ALL mattresses and 2 free eco-rest pillows at BirchLiving.com/absolutely To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to vizzyhardseltzer.com/ABSOLUTELY . Must be 21+. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 20, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather recaps her girls weekend that felt like camp on a secret island. She has returned, sunburned, raspy and puffier than ever. Just as she is getting into the real meat of what happened this weekend, Chris Ketner jumps in the studio for an update on life in NYC and when is the tour happening.. and just wait, he's a vegan and wont shut up about it! Go to WithAgency.com/absolutelynot for a free 30-day trial, just pay $4.95 for shipping and handling! Go to Prose.com/absolutely for your FREE in-depth hair quiz and 15% off. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely . Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 12, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather has friend and fellow bitchy podcaster, Jackie Schimmel in the house, literally, she's at Robin's. She brought her intern, Jennifer Lopez with her, fresh off the A-rod breakup. Its a wild ride and not to be missed! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 5, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is breaking down her medical blunders and asking y'all why the hell you're living with regret. We are Live Laugh Loving our way through the Absolutely not line, and man are these voicemails good! Get key nutrients–without the B.S. Ritual is offering listeners 10% off during your first 3 months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY to start your Ritual today. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com . Make sure to use the code ABSOLUTELY to get $100 off of your first month and show your support for the show. To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to vizzyhardseltzer.com/ABSOLUTELY Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 28, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather updates you on her doozie of a medical issue and realizes that she isn't the "pillar of the fertility community" she thought she was. She is sweaty, hungry, pissed off and now more than ever just straight up confused. Go to GreenChef.com/90absolutely and use code 90absolutely to get $90 off including free shipping! Get Honey for FREE at JoinHoney.com/ABSOLUTELY Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot to get $20 off, with a minimum purchase of $100 Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 21, 2021

On this episode of the absolutely not podcast, Heather is talking about civilian chemistry and mixed signals from her stallion. She is spiraling from the human growth hormone and trying to understand why everyone is being the worst and why no one buys her more gifts? Right. Ok. cool. Get started today at StitchFix.com/absolutely and you’ll get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix! Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order! Get your hands on some of GoMacro’s delicious MacroBars today by going to gomacro.com and using promo code absolutely for 30% off plus free shipping on all orders over $50! To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to vizzyhardseltzer.com/ABSOLUTELY . Produced by Dear Media . See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 15, 2021

On this episode Heather breaks down one of her most embarrassing moments from this past weekend at the airport and explains why no one knows how to behave themselves. We're all wildly socially awkward and no one knows how to behave anymore. To get 15% off your next gift, go to uncommongoods.com/absolutely . Give your mom the most meaningful gift this Mother’s Day with StoryWorth. Get started right away with no shipping required by going to StoryWorth.com/absolutely . You’ll get $10 off your first purchase! Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 7, 2021

Heather catches up with friend and OG podcast guest Raymond Padilla! They discuss Ray's recent move to New York (spoiler: its been a bumpy ride) and how he is living his "gay ass truth". Head over to WOO More Play and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20 percent OFF your order! Treat yourself to ultimate comfort with Brooklinen’s comforter collection. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot to get $25 off, with a minimum purchase of $100! As a listener of this podcast, you’ll get $100 off of your first month with Talkspace. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com . Make sure to use the code ABSOLUTELY to get $100 off of your first month and show your support for the show. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 31, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather claps back at herself bc the hormones are making her feel like a genetically modified chicken tender with a side of sassy dont-give-a-F#ck ranch. She takes your voicemails and realizes y'all are pretty much in the same boat. Love and Light! Head over to WOO More Play and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20 percent OFF your order. Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% OFF your order Get started today at StitchFix.com/absolutely and you’ll get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix! Get your hands on some of GoMacro’s delicious MacroBars today by going to gomacro.com and using promo code ​absolutely​ for 30% off plus free shipping on all orders over $50! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 24, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather Breaks down her recent surprise in the Turks and all the trouble she stirred up in Charleston. There was leather, edibles, bootcut jeans and lots of questions. She also hits the hotline and tries to fix your problems one drunken message at a time. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely . For a limited time, Spanx is offering Absolutely Not listeners 10% off their order on Spanx.com ! To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to vizzyhardseltzer.com/ABSOLUTELY Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 17, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather chats with herself in a downward spiral about this dumbest shit ever, per usual. It's her birthday and she is reporting live from the Turks and Caicos. RIGHT BY THE BEACH BOIIII. She is full of gratitude and rosé and a slight flicker of positivity. Head over to WOO More Play and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20 percent off! Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order! Go to FunctionofBeauty. com/​absolutely ​ to take your quiz and save 20% on your first order. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot to get $25 off, with a minimum purchase of $100. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 10, 2021

Heather's long time friend and fellow thespian extraordinaire, Tina T, is in town and the ladies are spilling the literal HIGH TEA on their weekend debauchery and breaking down the riveting Oprah interview. Heather is wildly concerned the Monarchy is coming for her so buckle up and get your beverages set! Go to DRINKOLIPOP.com/​ABSOLUTELY ​ or use code ABSOLUTELY ​at checkout for 20% off PLUS free shipping! To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com or download the app. Make sure to use the code ABSOLUTELY to get $100 off of your first month and show your support for the show. Get started today at StitchFix.com/absolutely and you’ll get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 3, 2021

On this episode of the absolutely not podcast Heather is stepping in her pisces self-loathing season and realizing her physical well being is important but also almost impossible to keep up with. Her pants are tight, her skin is dry and vagina is gaping. Lots of Voicemails and self-indulgent things to discuss! Receive 25% off ​your entire first purchase of Super Coffee. To claim this deal go to DRINKSUPERCOFFEE.com/​ABSOLUTELY ​ or use code ​ABSOLUTELY ​at checkout. Treat yourself to ultimate comfort with Brooklinen’s comforter collection. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot to get $25 off, with a minimum purchase of $100. Upgrade your hard seltzer to Vizzy. To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to vizzyhardseltzer.com/ABSOLUTELY. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Feb 24, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather checks in on her friends down in the hill country and has some major Absolutely Nots. She isn’t fucking around with weather shaming, COVID shaming or grandma shaming. ITS ENOUGH. She's also getting back into the swing of things, quite literally, playing Golf again and thrilled she made some new friends on the links. That and more! Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Go check out Usual Wines at www.usualwines.com - use my discount code “ABSOLUTELY” for $8 off your first order and try your first glass on us! Get key nutrients–without the B.S. Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off during your first 3 months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY to start your Ritual today. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Feb 17, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews her husband, Jeff Daniels on all things love and marriage. It's Valentine's week and who better to answer your relationship questions than Tony Soprano himself. Receive 20% off PLUS Free Shipping​ on Olipop's best selling variety pack. This is a great way to try all of their delicious flavors. Go to DRINKOLIPOP.com/​ABSOLUTELY​ or use code ABSOLUTELY ​at checkout to claim this deal. Go to FunctionofBeauty. com/​absolutely ​ to take your quiz and save 20% on your first order. Go to DRINKSUPERCOFFEE.com/​ABSOLUTELY​ or use code ​ABSOLUTELY ​at checkout for 25% off your order! Head over to WOO More Play and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20 % OFF your order! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Feb 10, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is about to lose her shit with EVERYONE and clearly y'all are on the same wavelength. The voicemail line is buzzing with bullshit and Heather is here to help you wade through it. Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order and free shipping in the US. Order the new Bomb Bars online at www.blenderbombs.com and receive 20% off your order by using the code ABSOLUTELY. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com or download the app. Make sure to use the code ABSOLUTELY to get $100 off of your first month and show your support for the show. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Feb 3, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather Breaks down what's been happening these past two weeks. It's a RAW AND REAL episode full of zero medical advice, lots of sweating and saying the F* word as many times as humanly possible. If you hate honesty, keep scrolling. Check out Olipop and receive 20% off PLUS Free Shipping​ on their best selling variety pack. Go to DRINKOLIPOP.com/​ABSOLUTELY​ or use code ABSOLUTELY ​at checkout to claim this deal. Go check out their website at www.usualwines.com and use my discount code “ABSOLUTELY” for $8 off your first order and try your first glass on us! Receive 25% off ​your entire first purchase or Super Coffee. To claim this deal go to DRINKSUPERCOFFEE.com/​ABSOLUTELY ​ or use code ​ABSOLUTELY ​at checkout. Head over to WOO More Play and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off! Get key nutrients–without the B.S. Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off during your first 3 months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY to start your Ritual today. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 27, 2021

Ask and you shall receive! This week, Heather is responding to YOUR voicemails on the Absolutely Not Line. Buckle up, hunker down and get ready to laugh your tush off! Check out Olipop and get 20% off PLUS Free Shipping​ on their best selling variety pack. This is a great way to try all of their delicious flavors. Go to DRINKOLIPOP.com/​ABSOLUTELY ​ or use code ABSOLUTELY ​at checkout to claim this deal. For a limited time, Spanx is offering Absolutely Not listeners 10% off their order on spanx.com . Use the code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Make your home healthier this new year. For a limited time, when my listeners go to Grove.co/ABSOLUTELY you will get a FREE Mrs. Meyer’s gift set plus free shipping with your first order - a $30 value! Head over to WOO More Play and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20 percent OFF your order of WOO Vibez today. Produced by Dear Media . See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 20, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is chatting with her sister, the GA Law Lady about vax'n their mom, basic childhood trauma and finding their inner animal. Ashley is pissed her episode got basically erased last time they recorded so she is coming in extra hot with that fiery attorney energy. This episode is honestly so sisterly silly, so good to luck to ya. Go to DRINKSUPERCOFFEE.com/​ABSOLUTELY ​ or use code ​ABSOLUTELY ​at checkout for 25% off and free shipping! To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com or download the app. Make sure to use the code ABSOLUTELY to get $100 off of your first month and show your support for the show. Head over to WOO More Play and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20 percent OFF your order of WOO Vibez today. Go to FunctionofBeauty. com/absolutely to take your quiz and save 20% on your first order. Check out the Palmer's Hemp Oil Skincare Collection. You can find these products In Store and online at Walmart, Target, Walgreens or Amazon. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 13, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather spins her New Years Wheels straight to crazy town. She has no fucking idea what is happening in the world and is trying to give you sage advice even though her asshole is clenched tighter than a cocaine smuggler from the 80's. The vibe is tense but the jokes are flowing, we've got voicemails and more! Go to www.blenderbombs.com and receive 20% off your order by using the code ABSOLUTELY. Go check out www.usualwines.com and use my discount code “ABSOLUTELY” for $8 off your first order and try your first glass on us! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 6, 2021

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast Heather sits down with her favorite comedian and BFF Benny Drama to discuss their major glow-ups. Benny is the king of impressions and he gives Heather the in's and outs of who hates him and which Kardashian is on board. lol. He's hilarious and keeps things raw and real! You deserve to know what’s in your multivitamin. That’s why Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off during your first 3 months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY to start your Ritual today. Make your home healthier this new year. For a limited time, when my listeners go to Grove.co/ABSOLUTELY you will get a FREE Mrs. Meyer’s gift set plus free shipping with your first order - a $30 value! Go to get getcanopy.co today and use code ABSOLUTELY10 for an extra 10% off at checkout. Your skin will thank you! For a limited time ButcherBox is offering new members their Ultimate Keto Bundle for free when you sign up today at ButcherBox.com/absolutely. That’s up to ten pounds of free meat, including one pork butt, 2 lbs of ground beef and 3 lbs of bone-in chicken thighs all in your first box by going to butcherbox.com/absolutely. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 30, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is majorly concerned with Kate Winslet's wellbeing and whereabouts. She answers your insane End of the Year Voicemails and has a slight bit of optimism for the new year... just a tiny bit. Experience The Purple Grid and you’ll sleep like never before! Go to Purple.com/absolutely10 , and use promo code absolutely10 . For a limited time you’ll get 10% off any order of $200 or more! Go to getcanopy.co today and use code ABSOLUTELY10 for an extra 10% off at checkout. Your skin will thank you! Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order and free shipping in the US. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 23, 2020

Heather is joined by Arielle Lorre, host of The Blonde Files Podcast to talk all things self care, motivation, wellness and how she overcame personal challenges to get to where she is today. She is also a plastic surgery and beauty guru and answers every question you could possibly have about keeping it right and tight! To check out all my Spanx picks and for 10% off your order plus free shipping and returns, visit spanx.com/absolutely. Experience The Purple Grid and you’ll sleep like never before! Go to Purple.com/absolutely10 , and use promo code absolutely10 . For a limited time you’ll get 10% off any order of $200 or more! Get your hands on some of GoMacro’s delicious MacroBars by going to gomacro.com and using promo code ABSOLUTELY for 30% off plus free shipping on all orders over $50! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 16, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews dear friend, host of The Bitch Bible Podcast and CYA next Tuesday companion, Jackie Schimmel. And trust and believe they are throwing everyone under the bus. They have no time for your holiday sympathy but are fully expecting you to show up to their funerals looking FRESH AF! That and more! Head over to ​ www.blenderbombs.com ​ ​and use the code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your first order. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutely to get 10% off your first order and free shipping. Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order and free shipping in the US. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 9, 2020

Heather Sits down with one of her oldest and dearest Delta Gamma sisters, Elizabeth Howard, to discuss the trials and tribulations of online dating with her single sister. SHE IS APPALLED and shocked to find out that men will message you wanting to know about your dental work. NOT OK. They discuss surviving life in college and trying to make it out of 2020 alive! Go to Framebridge.com and use promo code to save an additional 15% off your first order. Give your loved ones the gift of spending time together, wherever you live, with StoryWorth. Get started right away with no shipping required by going to StoryWorth.com/absolutely . You’ll get $10 off your first purchase! Get 20% off your order of DHM Detox and free shipping in the US. Just head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 2, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather breaks down the age old question.... "Why exactly does Jeff sleep with tape on his mouth AND still works in New York?" We survived Thanksgiving by the skin on our Turkey Trails and it's clear by the Voicemails that y'all aren't doing so hot either. Someone's lost a leg, others are getting bamboozled.... it's a shit show. That and more! Get 30% off your order and free shipping in the US by heading over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY30 and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY30” at checkout. As a listener of this podcast, you get $100 off of your first month with Talkspace. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com or download the app. Make sure to use the code absolutely to get $100 off your first month and show your support for the show. That’s absolutely and talkspace.com. You can find the Palmer's Hemp Oil products In Store and online at Walmart, Target, Walgreens or Amazon. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 25, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews fellow comedian, Casey Balsham of the SHADY SHIT podcast! Casey is literally looking for her loose tooth while bitching about what a fucking whirlwind of a year its been. From cancelled weddings, trying to get pregnant and generally fatigue these two ding dongs are bitching about it together! Get your hands on some of GoMacro’s delicious MacroBars by going to gomacro.com and using promo code ABSOLUTLEY for 30% off plus free shipping on all orders over $50! For a limited time, new members can get 6 free grass-fed, grass-finished steaks when they go to ButcherBox.com/absolutely. Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY30 and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY30” at checkout for 30% off your order plus free shipping! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 18, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is sweating through her shirt dealing with one technological meltdown after another. Sis can't catch a break! I mean what are we even doing anymore? It's almost Thanksgiving, which means everything is just a full blown shit show, but thats ok, because were gonna make it after all..... or after visiting the Oasis, Goodtime Emporium. To check out all my Spanx picks and for 10% off your order plus free shipping and returns, visit spanx.com/absolutely , and use the code ABSOLUTELY for 10% off today! Experience The Purple Grid and you’ll sleep like never before! Go to Purple.com/absolutely10 , and use promo code absolutely10. For a limited time you’ll get 10% off any order of $200 or more! Check out Palmer's New Hemp Oil Collection! You can find these products In Store and online at Walmart, Target, Walgreens or Amazon. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 11, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather chats with her friend, Christopher Ketner on some raw dog topics of how their bullshit threshold is at an all time low. America has spoken and the wild DM's have begun. Heather and Chris make a pact to get "heart healthy" because their pants split while woofing down spinach dip at dinner tonight... they are ready for a lifestyle change.... sort of. Go to Framebridge.com and use promo code to save an additional 15% off your first order. Go to get getcanopy.co today and use code ABSOLUTELY10 for an extra 10% off at checkout. Your skin will thank you! Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order! Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutely to get 10% off your first order and free shipping. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 4, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather shares a cool comedy experience that is literally giving her a will to live. There is a light at the end of this 2020 tunnel, even if it means we will one-day be back in a nightclub, shitting our pants from Red Bull vodkas... A Girl can dream can't she? The Voicemails are WILD this week, and the tensions are running high... but were all in this together.... whether we like it or not. Go to purple.com/absolutely10 and use promo code ABSOLUTELY10 for 10% off any purchase of $200 or more! Go to getcanopy.co to save $25 on your Canopy purchase today. Even better, there’s a special offer for Absolutely Not listeners! Use code ABSOLUTELY10 at checkout to save an additional 10% off your Canopy purchase. Head to www.blenderbombs.com and use the code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your first order. You can purchase Palmer's new Hemp Oil products at Walmart, Walgreens & Amazon. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 28, 2020

Heather sits down with Big Red and the Georgia Law Lady, also known as her mom and sister for a deep dive into internet scammers and the hot mess that is 2020. As usual, Robin is serving all the sass and Ashley is serving all the facts! Thank you to our sponsors: Spanx - Get 10% off your order at spanx.com/absolutely or use code " absolutely " at checkout. Go Macro - Get 30% plus free shipping on orders over $50 by going to gomacro.com and using promo code " absolutely " at checkout. Purple Mattress -Go to Purple.com/absolutely10 , and use promo code absolutely10 for 10% off any order or $200 or more. Vizzy - To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to vizzyhardseltzer.com . Must be 21+. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 21, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews a true acting icon and apparently the podcast's biggest fan, Jennifer Lawrence. Yes, you read that right, JLAW. The two discuss life in the biz, Heather's lack of winning awards, and overall classic bullshit, in the humblest way possible. Heather essentially sweats through her shirt while getting a masterclass in everything Hollywood. This episode is a refreshing reminder that we're all gonna be ok, as long as we don't run out of chardonnay and vote! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 15, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is in her last week of Canada Glory. She has become a local, eating the fish, wearing the beanies and blasting Avril Lavigne at the top of her lungs. She is helping you figure out the hard hitting life concerns you're all thinking but dont have the chutzpah to say. It's ok, she will do it for you. She's coming to ya live from Vancouver in a ROOTS sweatsuit that she paid way too much for. That and more! Go to blenderbombs.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off! Go to framebridge.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 15% off your first order! Go to uncommongoods.com/absolutely for 15% off! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 7, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is revved up after a wild tweet that sent her into a tailspin of laughter, confusion and sadness. She is also recapping her favorite new "escape show" Emily in Paris, which reminded her of her wild Study-Abroad experience. She's taking your insane calls on the Absolutely Not like and trying to give you the unsolicited life advice you never knew you needed! Get 20% off your order of DHM Detox and free shipping in the US. Just head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout. As a listener of this podcast, you get $100 off your first month on Talkspace. To match with your perfect therapist, go to Talkspace.com or download the app. Make sure to use the code absolutely to get $100 off your first month and show your support for the show. Feals has me feeling my best every day and it can help you too. Become a member today by going to Feals.com/absolutely and you'll get 50% off your first order with free shipping. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 30, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather uncovers some uncomfortable truths about herself and gives you a full rundown of her last week locked up. She's made a list and she's checking it twice of all the shit she has to try and fix in the world before 2021 gets here. She has a lot of "associations" to call starting with the BAR, Not legally speaking, like someone who just owns a bunch of bars.... just listen to the episode and you'll get it. To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to vizzyhardseltzer.com . Must be 21+. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 23, 2020

Heather is on the brink of a full blown meltdown coming to ya live from a new state-sanctioned Quarantine north of the border in Canada. She's in town for work and they legit sent her to her room and threw away the key. Tensions are high between she and the microwave, that bitch has been getting too mouthy this week. Heather is spiraling and taking your insane calls! Get your hands on some of GoMacro’s delicious MacroBars by going to gomacro.com and using promo code ABSOLUTELY for 30% off plus free shipping on all orders over $50! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 16, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather's dear friend, Andrew Collin, is here to bitch and swindle his way back into our hearts. He's still single and apparently getting "ripped" in quarantine.... not drunk, like in shape... again we don't know what that is like. These two talk about missing the road life, their past discrepancies and honestly try to figure out how they can better themselves in 2020, and really it shouldn't take a lot. Upgrade your hard seltzer with Vizzy. To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to vizzyhardseltzer.com . Must be 21+. Get your hands on some of GoMacro’s delicious MacroBars by going to gomacro.com and using promo code ABSOLUTELY for 30% off plus free shipping on all orders over $50! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 9, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather has hit her September shit show wall and is literally stuck under a trundle-bed of emotion. She is pulling out ALL OF THE FEELINGS from 2020 into one solid cathartic shitshow of a podcast. The VoiceMails are dumber than ever, but it does make her feel better to know that y'all are equally as fucked up as she is. We gotta do a wellness check on a lot of you, hussies cause Fall came fast and we are NOT READY. Visit taoclean.com/absolutely to get 62% off the Facial Brush and sitewide! Check out Feals.com/absolutely and you'll get 50% off your first order with free shipping. Match with your perfect therapist at Talkspace.com or by downloading the Talkspace app. And don’t forget to use promo code absolutely at checkout for $100 off your first month. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 2, 2020

On this episode of the absolutely not podcast, Heather is chatting with her ball busting, criminal defense attorney, big sis, Ashley. Also known as the Georgia Law Lady, she helps Heather break down some of y'alls most intense Voice Mails to date... such as... "Why doesn't Mcdonald's give out free mac sauce on the side?!!!" They are single handedly changing the world for the better with each bit of sister advice they share! Who knew all this year needed was the McMahan sisters to save the day. That and more! Check out Vizzy Hard Seltzer at vizzyhardseltzer.com . Must be 21+. Download ​The Gift of Forgiveness with Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt​ , inspiring stories from those who’ve forgiven the unforgivable. You can download and subscribe to all of Headspace Studio’s podcasts wherever you are listening to this right now. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 26, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather interviews Kate Kennedy of the "Be There in Five" podcast. It's their one-year anniversary since they met and now everything is coming full circle with these two ding dongs. They discuss how Tik Tok has taken over their lives, Being locked up with their dogs and Kate explains her emotional investment into Taylor Swift. They bitch about just how insane this year has made everyone, and they aren't suffering fools any longer! That and more! Get the world’s smartest litter without leaving home by visiting PrettyLitter.com and use promo code absolutely for 20% off your first order. Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 19, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather breaks down her trip to Florida and is coming in guns hot after Robin Hijacks the episode. She hits the hotline and lemme tell you what, y'all are bitching more than ever! These calls are getting downright ridonkulous and we're here for it! Get 10% off your first order and free shipping when you use promo code absolutley, only at Brooklinen.com. TAO Clean is offering my listeners 62 % off the TAO Clean Orbital Facial Brush! This discount ALSO applies towards any product, sitewide! Just go to taoclean.com/absolutely to take advantage of this incredible savings. Upgrade your hard seltzer with Vizzy. To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to vizzyhardseltzer.com. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 12, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather catches you up to speed on her Hollywood ventures, buying a car from the Patriarchy and taking your Voicemails. We are getting dumber as the year goes on and it's very apparent by the shit y'all have called in with this week! Were already in August but it feels like this has been the longest year ever....Lord help us and save us from ourselves! As a listener of this podcast, you can get $100 off your first month on Talkspace. To match with your perfect therapist, go to Talkspace.com or download the app. Make sure to use the code absolutely to get $100 off your first month and show your support for the show. Head over to nodayswastedco.com and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order. Become a member today by going to Feals.com/absolutely and you'll get 50% off your first order with free shipping. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 5, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from her hippie trip to Asheville North Carolina, where she experienced Satan at work. Between the Dog fights, Spiritual reads, and kids falling in manholes, it was a wild, but much needed ride outta town. The hotline is buzzing with insane calls of women just truly at their wits ends! The prayer circle just got tighter because the only thing that can get us out of this year is JESUS HIMSELF... AMEN! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 29, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather has her friend Big Daddy Raymond Padilla in town, fresh off his high horse from his luxury villa in Nantucket. He has decided to run for mayor, in a town he has never lived in - typical Ray. He is bringing all the judgement and heat, per usual, with an added side of SASS. These two giggle and argue on this episode! Head over to NoDaysWastedco.com and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order of DHM Detox. To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to vizzyhardseltzer.com. Must be 21+. All new customers will get 10% off their first order on Glossier.com/podcast/absolutely (certain exclusions apply). Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 22, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather has her hilarious and ball-busting sister, Ashley, also known as the Georgia Law Lady in the studio. They discuss their fucked up genes, what it was like growing up with Robin and Kyle as parents and how the hell are they gonna convince Robin to drink more water. When these two ding-dongs of sisters get together its giggles non-stop and the dumbest conversations ever. Go to Prose.com/absolutely for your FREE in-depth hair quiz and 15% off. Get 10% off your first order and free shipping when you use promo code absolutely only at Brooklinen.com . Get the world’s smartest litter without leaving home by visiting PrettyLitter.com and use promo code absolutely for 20% off your first order. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 15, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather answers your pressing questions, like "Should my baby have their own instagram account", "Do you watch military return videos?" " Are you a swinger", and "Would you wear a penis sash on your bachelorette"..... ya know hardcore journalism kinda questions. Heather updates you on her virtual show and talks about truly the dumbest shit ever.. that and more! Go to Talkspace.com (or in the app) and use the code absolutely to get $100 off your first month and show your support for the show. For 20% off your order just head over to nodayswastedco.com and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout! Get your hands on some of GoMacro’s delicious MacroBars by going to gomacro.com and using promo code ABSOLUTELY for 30% off plus free shipping on all orders over $60! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 8, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is anxious and over caffeinated but doing her best to hold on to the future. The Voicemails this week are dumber than ever, but it doesn't stop Heather from losing her fucking mind. She loves you for calling in and remember, turn your AC off and roll your windows up if you're calling from the car! LOL! That and more on this week's episode! Helix is offering up to $200 off ALL mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners at helixsleep.com/absolutelynot . Go to feals.com/absolutely to become a member and get 50% automatically taken off your first order with free shipping! To get a special free trial membership to Beach Body, text ABSOLUTELY to 303030. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 1, 2020

Heather is back in the studio, aka her Mom's "Office" with her Tour Producer, Chris Ketner. Since they can't be on the road together touring the world, the convo has taken a wild turn to REAL TALK TOWN. The discuss their lack of sex education in School, how Tik Tok is keeping them formed on Conspiracy Theories and how much they miss slinging drinks for old Broads at brunch in 2010 in Hell's Kitchen. Let's take a little trip down memory lane for some giggles and perspective. Get your hands on some of GoMacro’s delicious MacroBars by going to gomacro.com and using promo code ABSOLUTELY for 30% off plus free shipping on all orders over $60! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 24, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather takes a few calls from the new Hot spot of Florida and tries to figure out what the hell is going on. Were not even halfway through the year, and yet truly no one knows what this year has become/is/was/will be. She's hoping for a bright future but fingers crossed the insane voicemails on the hotline will brighten your day and make you giggle! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 17, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather hops back on the VoiceMails and legit LOL's till the cows come home. Y'all have taken it to another level. She discusses the chaos of living in construction, her concern for the environment and just general anxieties that keep her up... ya know amongst the covid, social injustices and impending meteor showers... That and more on the pod! Go to gomacro.com and using promo code ABSOLUTELY for 30% off plus free shipping on all orders over $60! Go to talkspace.com and use promo code absolutely to get $100 off your first month and help support the show. Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off ALL mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners at helixsleep.com/absolutelynot. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 10, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather takes a moment to pause and very bluntly let everyone know that if you are a racist, the unfollow button is easy. Bye Bye,Sir. We will not put up with that Bullshit here! We get back to giggling and have an honest discussion of whats going on in the world today and how we can be a part of the change. Of course we get to the Absolutely Not line which is still filled with some of the most ridiculous Voicemails you've ever heard. Sidenote... y'all gotta quit calling us from hot-tubs, Heather can't hear you over the bubbles and the giggles. Love and Light my babies and more! Head over to DHMdetox.com and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” for 20% off! Get a special free trial membership for Beachbody when you text ABSOLUTELY to 303030. Go to omaxhealth.com today and enter code “ABSOLUTELY” for 20% off Cryofreeze and sitewide! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 27, 2020

On this episode of the absolutely not podcast Heather shares the psychological torture she endures everyday living with Diva Red in lockup. These two are in the words of MegtheStallion “savage, classy, bougie, ratchet”. This is just the tip of the iceberg! That and more! Go to zola.com/absolutelynot today and use promo code SAVE50 to get fifty- percent off your save the dates! Go to talkspace.com and use the code absolutely to get $100 off your first month and show your support for the show! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 20, 2020

On this solo episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is falling apart at the thin ankles, literally. With a burnt taint, a rolled ankle and nothing to do, she has hit a new LEVEL OF NOPE. She cant even record this episode without her mom walking into the office to make it about her....typical Robin. If you thought the voicemails were wild last week, wait till you hear that the crazies have been up to now. Were week 852 into quarantine and still no one knows what the hell is going on! Go to talkspace.com and use promo code absolutely to get $100 off your first month and help support the show! To learn more about GoMacro’s giveback programs, and to give their tasty bars a try, visit gomacro.com and use promo code ​ABSOLUTELY​ for 30% off plus free shipping! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 13, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather relives her emotional journey after having hot coffee spilled on her vagina in the Starbucks Drive-Thru. The Grundle is crispy, the attitude is sassy and for some reason she is super thirsty.....ya know like actually thirsty. Heather hits the Absolutely Not line and from this batch of voicemails its ABSOLUTELY apparent that everyone has lost their friggin minds! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

May 6, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather decides to flip the script on Love and find out whats been happening to her single friends during LOVE, LOCKED UP RAW! Just because we are in quarantine doesn't mean people aren't still trying to find the one, or just send penis pics, and she is here to get the scoop from the opposite sex. Her dear friend and former elementary flame, Tommy Bardis is here to break down from the dude's perspective what is happening during this beyond awkward time to date. They will giggle, They will cry, they will be triggered with emotion, but hey, its a lot of Absolutely Yes on this episode! Go to OMAXHealth.com and enter code “ABSOLUTELY”’ to get 20% off CryoFreeze and sitewide! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 29, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather has dear friend and fellow shit talker extraordinaire, Jackie Schimmel in the studio. They both look as equally hideous on zoom as they do in person, so no surprise there. The girls discuss trying to stay motivated, where they are on the emotional roller coaster that is quarantine and how much they are both starting to literally hate, well, EVERYONE. That and more! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 22, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is sweating from the leather couch in her Mom's basement and has a whole lot of attitude. She is hitting the hotline hard and taking your calls from quarantine. Since we are all just trying to survive and giggle a little this episode is especially silly and sweaty... did I mention how sweaty she is. That and more on this episode of Absolutely Not! Go to omaxhealth.com and enter code “ABSOLUTELY”’ to get 20% off CryoFreeze and site-wide! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 15, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather interviews her sister from another mister, Fashion Icon and fellow podcast host, Pia Baroncini. These two have eerily similar lives that have led them both to marrying Italians and moving back in with their moms. They discuss the character building days of slinging drinks in NYC to losing their dads and moving into their childhood homes. Pia runs a wildly successful clothing line, LPA THE LABEL that makes hot latex pants that will make anyone pussy pop in a handstand. This epsiode is a raw and real convo about adult lady shit and giving zero fucks. That and more! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 8, 2020

On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather is joined by the Georgia Law Lady herself, Ashley McMahan. They may be sisters.... more of a Kourtney and Khloe kinda relationship if you will. Two McMahan's in one room is always a wild time, but as soon as these two hot tots start hashing out stories about their family life, things will finally make sense. It's obvious they were both old eggs from when Robin had them late in life, but thats just the tip of the iceberg, baby. They discuss how the baby boomers need to be locked up, how Jeff is eating them out of house and home and Ashley gives you legal advice! All of this and more on this family drama episode of Absolutely Not. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Apr 1, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather chats with her fra-t daddy- ding -dong comedian friend, Andrew Collin. He's been on the podcast before and now that he has been cooped up in his Brooklyn Apartment he's extra bitter with a side of ridiculousness. Truly a one-of-a-kind conversation. They discuss being "locked up raw" How they are coping with the anxiety and whats next on the books for 2020... ya know other than hell fire and brimstones.... That and more!!! Visit ​www.gomacro.com​ and use code ​absolutely​ for 30% off + free shipping. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 26, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits in quarantine with her Italian Stallion, Jeff Daniels. Since every single thing he is doing has been driving her up a fucking Ficus tree, she figured it would be a great time to air out their grievances for the whole world through couples therapy, aka this podcast. They discuss their upcoming or maybe forever cancelled nuptials and really hash out their mood swings for the listeners to judge! Keeping it light and positive over here, don't you worry about a thing! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 18, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is coming to ya LIVE! from Atlanta, Georgia. She took the Oregon Trail to escape NYC in this wild time were living in and realized after all is said and done, she might run for city council...... or maybe just he head of her mom's Home Owners Association. We are gonna giggle and gossip on this episode because let's be honest, what ELSE is there to do?!! Don't panic, don't worry, Heather's got you! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 12, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Raymond Padilla, Heather's half Chinese, half Mexican, but 100% full of shit bff, is back again to break down his most recent trials and tribulations, his pending apartment eviction. After being accosted by a nutter butter neighbor and bamboozled by a his HOT landlord, were cracking the case of this legal situation. It's a shit show and don't we know it. Raymond is also serving us an extra slice of humble pie when he helps Heather break down the Voice mails from the Absolutely Not line! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Mar 4, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is fired up hotter than a her Irish skin on the Fourth of July. She calls out some haters and challenges them to a duel.... at the Beverly center! It’s a wild ride of emotions and commotions! Check out the Milky Jelly Cleanser and get 10%off your first order on Glossier.com/podcast/absolutely ! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Feb 26, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh off a 3 day gal-a-palooza girls tip to Minneapolis where she was promptly roofied & witnessed a shoot out. The Midwest is a crazy place where you should never trust a nurse named Chet. She is extra sassy and still chugging electrolytes while she takes your calls from the Absolutely Not hot line! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Feb 19, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back in the studio, fresh from Asia and answering your phone calls and hot fire voicemails. Things take a turn for the best when she calls back a feisty fan who leaves a day-drunk message. Heather also updates us on her 10 year anniversary bamboozlement when Jeff essentially "Cartier" teased her! It's a whole cluster-fuck of love, money and voicemails on this latest episode. Shop Biossance.com and use discount code 'absolutelynot20' for 20% off! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Feb 12, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with her very own Gayle King, Raymond Padilla. He is coming In "guns hot" as the kids say, sassier than ever. They catch up on life and take your voicemails from the "Absolutely Not" line. It's a giggle-a-minute and sometimes Ray and Heather truly feel like they are doing the Lord's work by breaking down the world's top problems..... one cunty comment at a time! Check out ​www.gomacro.com​ and use promo code: ​absolutely​ for 30% off plus free shipping for a limited time! Get 15 % off your order at buyraycon.com/absolutelynot ! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Feb 5, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is back from Asia, feeling like a piece of pickled kimchi with the Jet-lag and soy bloat but ready to take on the week! She gives you a full cultural recap of what she learned abroad, and how she is ready to star in her own travel show... if someone will fund it. She feels like Samantha Brown wrapped in her newly made, custom fit, red silk robe while she sips hot tea like a bad bitch who has learned something. She touches on all the sassy things y'all Dm'd her about while on the road and dont worry she is still coming for you SHERYL. love and light and all funny things on this episode and more! Shop biossance.com and use code: absolutelynot20 at checkout for 20% off! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 29, 2020

On this weeks episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is still on the road with her bff and travel buddy, Chris Ketner. They have one more week in Asia and while they recap their travels they also hop on the scale to realize Asia isn't exactly "Parasite City". Coming in guns hot and splitting their Old Navy jeans from excessive noodle consumption these two ding dongs realize they have to get their lives right while some how still DOING THE MOST in Asia. For a full itinerary and rundown of cities like Ho Chi Min , Chang Mai and Koh Samui, check out this week's episode, of ABSOLUTELY NOT! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 23, 2020

On this episode of The Absolutely Not podcast, Heather gives you live and in the moment updates from her trip with Tony award winning producer and bestie, Chris Ketner. When Chris isn't on the road hold Heather's hair back on "THE FAREWELL COMEDY TOUR", he's helping her expand her mind and life by an epic friendship trip to Asia. They talk all things travel, how to stay "regular abroad" and their fail-proof plan to start "shredding for the wedding" in Vietnam! Follow along while these two ding-dongs have some fun abroad. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 15, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather chats with her T.V. business buddy and fellow creator, Jen Zaborowski. This episode is a rare-BTS look at a project they've had in thr works but are too afraid to discuss because, well, thats Show Business. Since Heather deems herself as "White Oprah" it would only be appropriate that she introduces you to her "white Gayle" aka.. JEN. These two talk about hollywood schmucks, Britney spears, private school and how much they hate nannying. After a quick glass of a french Sancerre, these two basically take their tops off and spill all the the dirt. It's wild what two white women will say after a glass of wine! This and more on Absolutely NOT! Thanks to our partners: Head over to DHMdetox.com and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off. Get started on Skinsei.com/absolutely with a free diagnostic and get 20% off your first order with code ‘absolutely’. Shop in-store, online at TheRealReal.com , or download the app, and get 20% off select items with the promo code REAL. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jan 8, 2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh off her Mexican vacay with a strong case of diarrhea & more sass than ever. After being completely bamboozled by Guy Fieri at the Cancun Airport, witnessing a full blown drug deal and almost fighting a women doing crunches on the beach, she is back in one-piece in the USA. There is a lot to be grateful for in the New Year, but it also doesn't stop us from remembering where we came from.... ya know the bathroom at the Cancun Airport... did I mention Guy Fieri poisoned me????? All this and more on the latest episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast! For $20 off your Buffy bedding, visit Buffy.co and enter​ “absolutely”. Go to Fabletics.com/absolutelynot to get 2 leggings for only $24 when you sign up as a VIP. Visit theRealReal.com , promo code REAL for 20% off select items. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 25, 2019

On this Episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather tackles the most complicated and bitchy Voice Mails yet. We wrap up the year with gratitude and lots of grundle sweat coming to ya live from Hot Phoenix Arizona! It has been a full year of absolute abundance and blessings from above but she's also ready for a friggin Margarita. Ya feel me Claire? On this episode ?heather encourages y'all to leave your creepy uncle Dan in 2019 and get those magazine clippings ready for our Vision Board party in 2020. Let's end this year on a high note, doing what we do best, Absolute -Not "ing". See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Dec 18, 2019

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather sits down with fellow comedian, Becky Robinson. She is a true ding-dong goof ball in every sense of the word and were are HERE FOR THIS LEVEL OF STUPIDITY. The girls cover all of your pre-holiday needs, butt stuff, relationships, how their upbringings turned them into semi-successful comics and Becky shares about the time she got her mom drunk after a dr.'s appoitment! All of this and more on the Absolutely Not Podcast! Get 30% off your first order by going to LucBelaire.com/ absolutely. Get 2 leggings for only $24 ($99 value) when you sign up for a VIP- go to Fabletics.com/absolutelynot to to advantage of this deal now! Go to DollarShaveClub.com/absolutelynot to save on the ultimate shave gift set! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 11, 2019

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is fresh off the 10th leg of the Farewell Tour and sits down with dietitian and health guru Sammy Previte, who is truly trying to make sure Heather survives Road life! Someone has finally got to tell this bitch to put down the hashbrowns and pick up a salad, I mean JEEZ... come on already! Heather gets all the tips and tricks from Sammy and recaps what the last leg of the tour has been like.... just a lil teaser, someone attacks Jeff in Florida, YAY!! This and more on one of the sassiest and raspiest episodes yet! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Dec 4, 2019

On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather has had it up to her flawless eyebrows with idiots this holiday season. It is truly hard to remain calm when you're trying to do the Lord's work but haters wanna hate...... and by haters you mean BEST BUY. Oh...don't even get us started on that bamboozlement! Heather is coming fresh off the Thanksgiving gratitude on a one-way ticket straight to "ABSOLUTELY-NOT-VILLE" and she is here to share it all with you! We also hit the Absolutely Not line for some giggles and a new holiday challenge! #holidaytchotchkechallenge See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Nov 27, 2019

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather takes a moment to really breakdown what she is grateful for..... and then of course gets right back to bitching. It's been a wild ride on the road hitting 8 new cities in 9 days on tour, and baby does she have some stories for you! Thanksgiving week should be a time of reflection, family and roasting as many folks as possible. We break down all things Tour life and have a go-to-guide on how to survive the upcoming holiday season! Heather also hits the hot line for all of your disgruntled calls! Head over to DHMdetox.com and use promo code "absolutely30” at checkout for 30% off! Visit Tradesy.com to save fifty dollars on your very first Tradesy purchase when it’s four-hundred dollars or more- just use code 'absolutely' at checkout at Tradesy.com ! For $20 off any suitcase or bag, visit awaytravel.com/absolutelynot and use promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT during checkout! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 20, 2019

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with her bestie and Farewell Tour Producer, Chris Ketner to talk about surviving on the road. Chris is a tony award winning producer who now has to shove "pepto" down Heather's throat so she doesn't have a tummy ache on tour. They break down what it truly takes to make it in the "biz" and how the Mayor of Baltimore needs to figure some shit out. Its true Road-warrior Chronicles cause these two are literally DOING THE MOST. Heather also introduces Chris to the Absolutely Not line, and they take a swing at fixing all the world's problems, one Voice Mail at a time. Get 30% off your first order by going to LucBelaire.com/absolutely Just head over to DHMdetox.com and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order. Go to uncommongoods.com/absolutely , to receive $5 off your first purchase! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 14, 2019

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is fresh off her Italy tour and quite honestly, NOT WELL. She is gearing up for the next two weeks on the road and got ahold of some of the Devil's Dust at Walgreens but its spitting hot fire like never before. The Italian Stallion pops in to help her answer some wild Voice Mails from the Absolutely Not Line. The two love birds find out Jeff is actually more of a Ding Dong than we thought but we love him anyways. This and more on the episode! ​Get your first JustFab style for as low as $10 as a VIP! That’s 75% off your first item with my special link.​ Just go to JustFab.com/absolutelynot ! Visit Tradesy.com to save fifty dollars on your very first Tradesy purchase when it’s four-hundred dollars or more. Use code absolutely at checkout at Tradesy.com ! Listeners get 20% off their DHM Detox order. Just head over to DHMdetox.com and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout. Also, there is free shipping if you buy more than a couple boxes. Head to www.playabeauty.com and use the code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your first order. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nov 6, 2019

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is coming at ya live from Fonté de Medici out in the sweet rolling hills of Chianti, baby. She is running an entire sorority out of a medieval castle in Tuscany and honestly, these hussies are losing their damn minds! We are coming at ya LIVE from this Tuscany adventure and breaking down what a truly ABSOLUTELY NOT fighting with a tiny asian man at a Gucci Outlet store is. Drinking plenty of Sangiovese and saying Arriverdici to the haters were doing the most on this trip! CIAO BELLA BABY!!!! Go to Fabletics.com/absolutelynot , and get 2 leggings for only $24 ($99 value) when you sign up for a VIP! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 30, 2019

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather relives her brush with death experience from the past weekend on her Virgin Atlantic flight where her right ovary, legit exploded. The details are so real and raw, you might think you're listening to a live recording of the hit movie "Snakes on a Plane", but no this is just Heather's Life. She is a survivor and warrior goddess who lives to see another day but not without spending 12 hours trapped in a trans-atlantic flight and then being rushed to a London hospital straight from the tarmac. Heather is in her truest dramatic form and has no regrets spilling the literally, juicy details and more! Get your first Just Fab style for as low as $10 as a VIP! That’s 75% off your first item with my special link.​ Just go to JustFab.com/absolutelynot to take advantage of this deal now. For $20 off a suitcase, visit awaytravel.com/absolutelynot and use promo code absolutelynot during checkout! Download MASSE in the iOS App Store! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 23, 2019

On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather is in her own personal hell-hole, the State of Florida. Fresh off a college girls reunion and nursing a 3 day old hangover she does the absolute most from her friend's beach house on the sandy strip of 30A. Since she doesn't give a shit about y'all recommendations for guests, she interviews her two besties, Broadway star, Christina Tompkins and comedian Jenny Hurlburt. LIVE FROM FLORIDA! They are old, they are weathered and stuck in a tropical storm! Pop open a white claw and tune in! Visit lucbelaire.com/absolutely for 30% off your first order! Visit dhmdetox.com and use code: absolutely at checkout for 20% off your order! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 16, 2019

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather sit down with fellow comic, Andrew T Collin. He's one of her new "straight" male friends and she has already made him super uncomfortable with their friendship. They discuss the private school life, losing it all and how they had no clue what Chernobyl was. It's a savage episode of two comics doing the absolute most. Started from the bottom now we are back on Heather's couch. Andrew is a "power jew with soft eyes" says the New York Times, this is an episode you will not wanna miss. Visit dhmdetox.com and use code: absolutely for 20% off! Go to playabeauty.com and enter code: absolutely for 20% off! Get 2 pairs of leggings for $24 at fabletics.com/absolutelynot See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 9, 2019

On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather gets a real kick in the ass when some Sassy Susan has the audacity to chime in on the Italian Stallion. Heather tries to keep it cool but there are more Absolutely Not's in this episode than pregnancy tests at Rutger's after spring break, ya feel me. She is lit up like a Christmas tree on Angel dust and ready to keep it real and her favorite word, RAW. Produced by Dear Media . See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Oct 2, 2019

On This weeks episode of Absolutely Not, Heather sits down with comedian Taylor Strecker, who might have an even raspier voice than Heather. They discuss getting in shape, love, life, touring, and late-in-life-lady-loving. Taylor is extra sassy in this episode because she wore a bathing suit as a body-suit and it was clearly cutting off circulation. These ladies started out as sorta-enemies and now are the best of friends, and its very clear from this hour of giggles and shit talking! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 25, 2019

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, comedian Rosebud Baker visits the studio, aka Heather's living room, to discuss real grown-woman-shit. They discuss diversity in comedy, what it's like to be a woman in the biz and how filtering ourselves will be the death of art. This episode peels back the layers of things we have all thought but needed a safe-space to discuss. Rosebud is a wildly honest, raw and hilarious comic doing the Lord's work for ladies everywhere and she and Heather really get into it You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll probably not want to move to Boston after this. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 18, 2019

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather discuses the life-lessons and survival tactics she picked up from the road. Fresh off the first leg of the "Farewell Tour" Heather breaks down who really shit their pants in Tampa, and how having a safe word is important for everyone. Don't think for two seconds she forgot what happened in Charleston, my little angels. Her voice might be extra raspy but her sassy and attitude are still top notch! Get 15% off at foursigmatic.com/absolutelynot Visit woomoreplay.com and use code: absolutely for 20% off your entire order. Get 25% off your first order and a free 30 day trial at thrivemarket.com/absolutelynot Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 11, 2019

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Jeff, Heather’s fiancé, joins in on the fun aka he forced her to put him on the pod. They discuss living together, the secrets to not killing each other & take your calls and more from the “Absolutely Not” line! It’s a love fest of salami & chest hair, tune in for the fun! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sep 4, 2019

Heather sits down with childhood friend and founder of the fabulous womens-wear brand Show Me Your Mumu. The ladies discuss the rocky start to their friendship in fourth grade, how Cammy built Show Me Your Mumu from her kitchen and their shared dreams of mega stardom! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 28, 2019

On this weeks episode of the absolutely not podcast, Heather has a full blown mental breakdown and says, BYE TO THE HATERZZZZZ. She is a week out from Tour and truly doing the most. She is cranky, sweaty and her blood sugar is dangerously low. After a night in the ER she gives you a full Wellness Update on what the Dr. said and who hit on her in a Hospital gown. We also take calls from the Absolutely Not Line and more! www.thrivemarket.com/absolutelynot for 20% off your order and a free 30 day trial! Visit www.woomoreplay.com and use code: absolutely at checkout for 20% off! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 21, 2019

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, we chat with Heather's OG instagram friend and celebrity makeup artist Jamie Greenburg. This episode isn't just about serums and concealer... oh no ladies and gents, we TALK ALL OF THE THINGS. Growing up on the East Coast, Dead Parents and Mommy Makeovers, because let's not forget who doesn't love a great Beverly Hills plastic surgery moment. Jamie is truly one of the most hilarious guests of all time who has a heart of gold and speaks her mind with no reservations. Oh yeah, and don't worry she is breaks down the latest beauty trends that are ABSOLUTELY NOTS, drum roll please.... COSMIC HIGHLIGHTER and more! Produced by Dear Media . See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 14, 2019

On this episode of ABsolutely Not, Heather sits down with long time friend and possibly long long sister, Busy Philipps to discuss career, manifesting and all things being a bad ass BITCH. They are old pals from the gym, but this is episode takes a sneak peak into the the real side of Busy who is legit....Busy AF. They take audience questions and hit the "Absolutely Not" line hard and fast. Honestly, no one is safe when these two power blondes take to the hotlines. Thanks to our sponsors! https://woomoreplay.com/discount/absolutely www.tradesy.com promo code: absolutely Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Aug 7, 2019

On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather relishes in the wild two weeks she has had, from co-hosting the Today show, selling out a tour, to ending RIGHT back in her mom's basement sweating her ass off. We have a full Wellness Update on her current detox......aka..She is hungry, Pms'ing and extra sassy this week. We take listener's voice Mails and let Karen know she better TAKE A HIKE, BEYOTCH! Tune in if you want to giggle and bitch about this wild world were living in. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 31, 2019

On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather sits down with fellow funny gal, Jackie Schimmel from "The Bitch Bible" and they discuss everything that makes them tick. From adults on adderall to wedding planning woes. They like sensible cars, tipping waiters 20% plus and very dirty martinis. No topic is too taboo for these two. Make sure to pour yourself a bottle of chianti and buckle up because this episode is wilder than an episode of 'Live PD, Daytona Beach'. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 24, 2019

On this episode or Absolutely Not Heather talks to her bff & arch nemesis Raymond Padilla. He is the Gayle to her Oprah yet he’ll say it’s the other way around. They discuss how they hated each other for the first 5 minutes and the rest is history. He’s her man of honor and Doing the Most. Produced by Dear Media . See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 17, 2019

On this episode of "Absolutely Not" Heather gives a full wellness update on adjusting to life in the hell-hole that is New York City. She breaks down the subway, rat-squirrel combos, her latest eye infection and general discomfort of being allergic to the Northeast. We also hear the hilarious Voice-Mails from fans and call back a hater.... aka Heather's Mom. Follow @heatherkmcmahan for all the behind the scenes action! Produced by Dear Media . See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 10, 2019

On this episode of Absolutely Not I sit down with Olympic Athlete and all-around hilarious super-star, Adam Rippon. When Adam isn’t on the ice showing everyone “what’s good” he can be seen interviewing a wide-variety of guest on his new YouTube Show “Break The Ice”. We discuss what it takes to make it to the Olympics and what it is like to ride the rollercoaster of emotion training for the Games. We also discuss how to balance the haters, our mutual love for Celine Dion and what’s next for this super-star on and off the ice! Follow @heatherkmcmahan and @adamrippon for all the behind the scenes action! Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 3, 2019

In this episode, Heather takes calls directly from the Absolutely Not Line, bitches about travel, and convinces you to get "baby botox." Its not for your baby, so relax, CLAIRE. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jul 3, 2019

In this episode we sit down with Heathers fiancé's biggest crush of all time, Jennifer Love Hewitt, to discuss how she went from Kids Incorporated to the a top Hollywood producer and all around bad bitch. We talk love, grief, family and laugh through the pain of Hollywood. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Jun 26, 2019

Get a sneak peek of Absolutely Not with Heather McMahan! Call in to the Absolutely Not-line at 1-800-213-7503 to leave a voicemail with anything you want Heather to address. Follow all the behind the scenes action on Instagram @heatherkmcmahan and don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss the premiere episodes on July 3! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .