About this episode
Exploring impact play, swinger parties, and the power of dominant caregiving—Windham shares how shame gave way to full-spectrum connection. 📈 STATS | 53 straight white cis man, divorced, partnered, kinky dom/daddy, former journalist, current higher ed professional, lives in Boston, into: chains, padlocks, saliva, pee, group sex, impact play, spanking benches, restraint furniture, homemade porn, and emotional vulnerability ⏰ TIME CODE 00:00 Shame-o-meter check: from 8 to 2, and what great sex looks like with his current long-distance partner 04:00 Growing up without physical affection, childhood curiosity, and discovering “My Secret Garden” at age 9 08:00 Losing virginity to an older coworker at 17 and how early dynamics shaped his respect and awareness in relationships 11:00 A 14-year marriage with no sexual growth, the rise of the internet, and the start of kink exploration 13:00 Finding community online, discovering BDSM and impact play, and the appeal of psychological over physical domination 17:20 Online dating as a safe space to reveal kink interests—strategies, subtlety, and how he filtered for D/s compatibility 21:41 Saying “everything” too early, rejection from partners, and learning to filter without giving up authenticity 24:00 Breath play gone wrong, pacing disclosure, and the power of being invited vs. overbearing 26:00 First swinger party with an extroverted partner: how she got naked first and made friends before play 29:00 How she made him feel safe at parties, female-led swinger spaces, and his first real partner in kink 32:00 Going to a dungeon for the first time: what he saw, how he felt, and why he just watched from a corner 35:00 Swingers vs. dungeon folks—two different worlds with minimal overlap, and why both judge each other 38:00 Dom/daddy/sadist pie chart: caregiving, power, pain, and balancing dynamics in long-term play 41:00 Locking leather restraints, using real police handcuffs, restraint benches, and the joy of padlocks 43:00 Chain flogging, heavy metal kink, and why real weight and sound matter in sensory play 45:00 Wax and saran wrap bondage, learning from mistakes, and the physical intensity of full immobilization 48:00 Sensory deprivation: claustrophobia, hood fantasies, and their mutual “thought experiments” 50:00 Pee play and saliva as turn-ons, outdoor and morning sex desires, and making space for mess 54:00 Plans for making homemade porn, exhibitionist energy, and his partner’s eagerness to film 56:00 Craving enthusiastic acceptance, not filtered tolerance—and finally finding it after decades 58:00 Handjob and blowjob preferences, tongue everywhere, and redefining pegging in a dominant role 61:00 Swinger pool party with five couples, how his partner surprised him, and feeling protective throughout 65:00 Needing connection more than romance: why he can’t play without mutual emotional access 68:00 Group sex as “crack cocaine for the brain,” hopes for four-person connection, and swinger resorts 70:00 Getting aroused while comforting his crying partner—and the emotional conflict of being a sadist 73:00 Wanting to grow his sadist side, why spanking leaves him conflicted, and how shared pain brings connection 76:00 Reflecting on youth, sexual evolution, and being grateful for every step that led to this point 🤩 TOPICS | Adult development, bodily reaction to submission, blowjob hesitation, caregiving in relationships, chain restraints, cock worship, communication styles in dating, creating trust through consent, cry-induced arousal, daddy kink dynamics, dating post-divorce, dom-led gangbang prep, dominant energy orchestration, dominant personality traits, dominant topping from below, emotional communication, energetic compatibility, erotic humiliation, erotic punishment rituals, intellectual attraction, introvert in sex-positive spaces, kink-friendly dating tips, kinky extrovert behavior, late-blooming confidence, long-distance intimacy, nipple marks, padlock fetish, partner-led exhibitionism, pegging protocol, personal growth after divorce, relationship introspection, rethinking monogamy, restraint furniture use, rough affection, rough body worship, sadomasochist tension, saran wrap mummification, self-discovery through sexuality, sensory restriction, sex education gaps, slippery hand technique, steel bondage gear, sensual awakening, sensual curiosity, throat play, threesome direction, tongue fetish, voyeuristic hosting, and wax kink. 🔥 PARTNERS | Make your world a sexier place—get a discount & support the pod! SDC: A place for swingers to connect FIRMTECH: Performance-enhancing cock rings | Use the code LOVER for 15% off BEDUCATED: Learn how to have great sex BUTTER WELLNESS: Prioritizing prostate pleasure | Use the code LOVER for 20% off ⚡️ WORK WITH WYOH | Explore (y)our creativity: wyohlee.com/links One-on-one photoshoots, content creation, writing retreats & creative support 🤩 PATREON | Wy’s exclusive updates, stories & the community discord: patreon.com/wyohlee 💸 PLAY | Tickle Wy’s moneykink: 🪭 onlyfans.com/wyohlee 🐈⬛ sextpanther.com/wyoh 🎙️ BE A GUEST, SHARE A STORY, ASK A QUESTION | Leave a voice memo at sexstoriespodcast.com 🙌 SHARE SEX STORIES 🌈 Explore (y)our curiosity. 🤑 Offer irresistible invitations. 💦 Spread ripples of love. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .