18. Are You Sabotaging Your Love Life by Doing This?

When I was dating and looking for love, I was only saying I was looking for love. The truth was, I wasn’t looking for only love. What I was really doing was hoping and waiting for my ex. At the time, I was pretty aware that I was recovering from a breakup. I assumed the way to get over this would be to meet someone who would sweep me of my feet. But that wasn’t happening. In fact, I couldn’t find anyone who cared much for me, and if they did, I couldn’t reciprocate. How many of us have this plan? “I’ll keep my ex on deck.” Whether we’re hoping they’ll come back or keeping them as our back up, if our ex is still in our heart, there is no space for something new. It’s also a waste of our time! We pretend to date. We pretend “there’s nothing out there.” But really all we’re doing is sabotaging ourselves so that we can prove to ourselves that our destiny is with our ex. What needs to happen is an honest conversation. Confront the situation. Ask your ex if there’s a chance. Ask yourself if that’s what you want or would you rather something new (with all the upgrades!). And when your ex replies, listen. Like really listen. Don’t just hear what you want to hear. Listen with your intuition. Listen with your heart. Because it’s time. Time to move forward. Or time to give it a real try. No more stuck in the middle. No more pretending nothing is working out for you. It’s time. We talk about: How to create space for your true love Why you shouldn’t have a “backup person” and how to close that door Resources: My membership program: http://nikkinovo.com/membership