About this episode
(Breather) Last but certainly not least, MOFO Mission assignment #10 is perhaps the most compelling of them all: quit being a dick to your partner! Romantic relationships have quite a big effect on hormone levels, and the stress your body experiences because of dysfunctions in your relationship will suppress testosterone, and this can truly make or break your MOFO manhood. The goal is to display emotional self-stability, vulnerability, and kindness, while refraining from behavior like whining, complaining, or indulging in angry outbursts. Remember to remain calm, cool, collected, and clear-thinking as you encounter the daily stresses of life. Assignments: Don’t speak if you have a negative emotional charge, advises John Gray. Learn how to manage your emotions, so you are able to embody what John refers to as the “calm, cool, collected Kung Fu master.” Getting bitchy and whining a lot is actually a sign of low testosterone/testosterone-deficiency. Make time for cave time! When you focus on problem-solving, engaging activities, this helps rebuild testosterone. You can work out, play any kind of game (even a video game!), or try your hand at a home improvement project - anything that gets you away from the situation and any potential arguments that will just make you feel worse and worse over time. Males are not inclined to talk things out incessantly, and instead, are better served when they go off by themselves and engage in testosterone boosting activities. Never argue, defend, or judge. Thank you The Imperative Habit author Dave Rossi for this one! This will just set your relationship down a downward spiral. Indulge your partner in “Venus Talks.” John Gray highlights the importance of letting your partner vent (sometimes for great lengths!) while you listen intently, without offering advice, solutions, or constructive criticism. Of course this can be tough, as males are naturally inclined to jump into problem-solving mode when hearing of any issues, but this is not what females need. They instead need to be listened to and validated, without interruption, regardless of how helpful you think you can be in the moment! Truthfully, the most helpful thing is just to listen. Remember, John Gray once said: “The most masculine thing a man can do is listen.” When you do experience a negative emotional charge, Swallow, Smile, and Suck It Up . Of course this doesn’t mean that you should just smile through everything in life and become a total doormat, but you will feel a lot better when you’re not being super emotionally reactive. TIMESTAMPS: The effect of your romantic relationship has on your testosterone level is profound. [01:30] If you have a negative emotional charge, don’t speak. Take some cave time. [03:51] Never argue, defend, or judge. [04:54] Indulge your partner. Listen intently without offering advice. [05:28] Men and women experience stress, love, and success in different ways through different filters. [07:26] Males have a short memory for conflict and resentment. [12:35] The females want you to solve problems, protect her, and keep her safe. Don’t talk. [15:28] Don’t argue, defend, or judge. [18:04] Indulge your partner in Venus talks. It’s going to take a shift in mindset. [20:25] So the female assignments are to never nitpick because even tiny complaints can add up to be a big problem for the male. [22:58] When the female expresses anger at you, she is touching your weakest spot. She is trying to see if she is safe. [26:31] Brad reviews all ten MOFO assignments. [27:46] LINKS: Brad’s Shopping Page Dr. John Gray Podcast Dave Rossi Podcast Wendy Walsh Podcast The Way of the Superior Man Brad’s Morning Routine Brad’s Cold Exposure QUOTES: “One person shifting can cause their relationship to shift.” “Innate hormonal differences between testosterone-dominant males and estrogen-dominant females set us up for pain and suffering when we try to evolve behind our primitive genetic wiring and the dated archetypes of the male breadwinner and the female caretaker.” “Males have a short memory for conflict and resentment, and by simply going away, getting some cave time, and doing testosterone boosting activities, they return to the relationship refreshed and testosterone boosted.” “In modern life, the female’s main threat, that she needs protection from, is your own anger.” Follow me on social media for more great content! 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