Episode 373 Brielle's VBAC Homebirth Transfer in the Dominican Republic + Tools to Prepare for Birth

Brielle Brasil is a mama’s coach, breathwork facilitator, and somatic trauma resolution therapist. She shares her two birth stories as a foreigner living in the Dominican Republic. Brielle’s first birth was an unexpected, traumatic C-section. After putting in the work to heal, Brielle felt ready to explore birth options that she thought were unattainable. She was creative and intuitive throughout the entire process. Julie and Brielle also dive deeper into how trauma is stored in the body, how somatic trauma resolution can help, and why it’s important not to try to heal trauma on your own. How to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for Parents Full Transcript under Episode Details COTERIE: Code VBAC20 - https://www.coterie.com/products/the-diaper?utm_source=VBACLINK&utm_medium=Podcast&utm_campaign=Diaper https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-370-sheryls-2vbacs-the-unpredictability-of-birth/id1394742573?i=1000684059728 Julie: All right, Women of Strength. You are listening to The VBAC Link Podcast. This is Julie and I am here with a very special guest today, Brielle. I am really excited to hear her stories. She gave birth in the Dominican Republic twice, both her C-section and her VBAC. We were just talking about that because my previous guest who I just recorded with in episode 370 also lived in the Dominican Republic. She had her babies back in the States. She flew back to the States. It was just such a coincidence. I am mind-blown. What are the chances? Brielle: So wild. Julie: I know. Brielle had both of her babies there. I’m so excited to hear about her stories and her experience, but before we do that, I am going to read a Review of the Week that Meagan texted me this morning if I can find it in all of our text messages. Okay, here it is. This review is on Apple Podcasts from janaerachelle . She says, “I am so happy I found this incredible podcast. After having two prior C-sections, I was convinced I would have to have another C-section for my birth this November. I feel empowered, educated, and hopeful I can do this. Thank you for all of the true facts in a safe space where we can all talk about our birth trauma in a space where we don’t sound ‘crazy’ for doing something that God created our bodies to do.” I love that so much. I think that the birth world is so interesting in lots of different ways and lots of different things. It can be incredibly wild to desire something that can be considered outside of the box. I’m glad that VBAC is becoming more and more common and that we are talking about it more. Sometimes, when I’m so deep in this VBAC world, it can be easy to forget that some people think it is the wildest thing ever. Brielle: Yeah. Absolutely. People in the Dominican Republic for sure fall into that box of, “What? You can actually have a baby vaginally after having a C-section?” People didn’t know that was an option. Julie: Yeah. People just don’t know. All right, let’s get to it. I am so excited to hear your stories. I am really on the edge of my seat right now. Before I have you get into those, I’m just going to introduce you a little bit. This is Brielle. She is a Mama’s Coach, breathwork facilitator, and somatic trauma resolution therapist. She helps postpartum and pregnant women heal from their previous birth trauma, forgive themslves, their bodies, their babies, and their previous team so they can go into their next birth confident, free, and in tune with their motherly intuition fully trusting themselves, their bodies, their babies, and birth. I have lots to say about this, but I’m going to wait until the end because I don’t want to start going off on too many tangents too soon. But I’m excited. I want to hear more. We will definitely talk about that after the birth stories, and I’m super excited. She lives in Virginia, and we are both commiserating about how things are shifting to the chilly side of the weather today, but I am going to sit here cozy in my blanket while I am listening to Brielle’s stories giving birth in the Dominican Republic. Go ahead, Brielle. Take it away, and I am excited to hear. Brielle: Awesome. Well, first of all, thank you so much for having me on here. It’s such an honor, and it feels really surreal because I listened to this podcast a ton during my second pregnancy. Yes. I am not Dominican. I am American, and I was a foreigner having both of my babies in a foreign country. As you mentioned about the woman you recorded with earlier, most foreigners who are in the Dominican Republic don’t have their babies in the Dominican Republic. I was part of an international community, and my husband was an international teacher. It was just assumed that if you are not Dominican, you are going to go back to wherever your home country was to give birth. Right after that, the fact that I was deciding both pregnancies to give birth there because the most important person for me to have at my birth was my husband and the only way to have him at my birth, because it wasn’t a summer baby and he was a teacher. It was an April baby, and then a May baby the next time. The only way to have him there was to have our babies i the Dominican Republic. I’ll just start off with the first birth. I went into it very fearful having a baby abroad where the language spoken is not my first language. Spanish is not my first language. It was fearful solely for the fact that I was doing it in a foreign country not even really realizing the fears that I had around birth itself until later. I found a doula, and I really liked her. I didn’t know much about the OB/GYNs there. She had recommended a couple of them to me and the one that she had used for her births which were all Cesareans, but she said he was a great doctor and he spoke English fluently. I went to him. I stuck with him. Right away, I didn’t feel anything initially wrong. He was very knowledgeable. He was up to date on what seemed like a lot of research. But then as things would progress, he would start to question me asking questions to him which was odd, but at the same time, I was like, “Well, he’s fluent in English. I feel comfortable in that regard. My doula recommended him.” It was my first time doing this, I was just going to stick with him. Then at about 37-38 weeks pregnant, I started to get the real red flags. Red flags as in him starting to talk about induction already and I’m only 37-38 weeks pregnant. At that point, I just felt like, “Well, okay.” It was clear to me that these were red flags, but I also felt like I didn’t have another option. I felt like at that point I was too far along. It was too late in the game. I had seen him my whole pregnancy. I just needed to stay with him. I had prodromal labor for about a week. During that week, this was weeks 39-40. During that week, I went into that office every other day. It was a lot. We were just a little bit obsessive over the time and the clock and everything. I went in several times. I got three membrane sweeps which were all pretty painful. We were trying to “get things to start naturally” and as natural as possible. I know membrane sweeps aren’t really, but we were trying to help things along because I was having that prodromal labor. I would have contractions for hours, and they would stop for hours. Also, my husband and I were trying to have things happen naturally as well, so we were having a lot of sex that last week around the clock. Somewhere, I think, from probably the amount of sex we were having and making sure to go to the bathroom right after, I ended up getting a UTI. I think it was the day before my due date when I started to get sick. I started to get a fever. I started to get a high fever. My husband was like, “We need to go into the doctor.” I didn’t want to because I was fearful of knowing what he was going to say. At that point, I didn’t feel like I trusted him because of the red flags that were coming up. I begged my husband, “Let’s not go. Let’s see if it goes away.” We waited 24 hours, and it didn’t. He was like, “I don’t feel comfortable.” I was like, “I get it. Okay, we’ll go.” We went in. Of course, they checked the baby’s heart rate which was a little bit high. I just felt pretty much like shit. The fever kept coming and going. Because I had the contractions going on and off, he was like, “We need to get labor underway.” They didn’t know yet it was a UTI. They were like, “We need to test and see why you’re sick and run labs.” He was like, “I recommend that you go to the hospital and get induced. We will run all of the tests.” He was afraid I had COVID actually, but it wasn’t that. He was like, “We just need to run the tests, get you induced, and get this thing going on because that shouldn’t be happening.” I didn’t know anything about prodromal labor or any of that. I was scared. I was in a foreign country. I just wanted my baby to be healthy. I was like, “Okay, yeah. Let’s go.” We all went. I got induced that morning. Looking back on it and having done the healing work I did, I can see that I just wasn’t ready. My body wasn’t fully ready yet. My baby wasn’t ready yet. It was just a rushed timing scenario because I got induced that morning. They did the test. They found that I had a UTI, so they were treating me with antibiotics while pumping me with Pitocin. On and off all day long, my fever would go away, then it would come back, then it would go away, and then it would come back. I would pick up contractions and be in labor. That was hard to deal with when I was sick. I felt zero energy hardly at that point being sick. That was at 9:00 in the morning. I got induced. It went on and off all day. The contractions were doing the same thing all day. They would pick up for a few hours, then they would stop for a long while. What was interesting, I noticed, is that every time my doctor would come into the room to check me, my contractions would completely stop around him. Looking back, I can tell I didn’t feel safe with him. I just had past trauma with males. I shouldn’t have ever had a male provider personally. I could tell those things in hindsight, but it was just all happening. By the end of the day in the evening, he was like, “You haven’t made any progression dilation-wise. The baby’s heart rate’s really high, so I suggest we go into a C-section.” My husband and I were just like, “Yeah.” Like I said, we wanted our baby to be healthy. We were fearful. We went into C-section, and we had him. I was just numb through the whole experience because I had really desired everything of my first birth to be natural. I actually wanted a home birth my first go around, but I thought it was illegal in the DR because I didn’t know there were any midwives. There were no birthing centers in the DR. Nobody I had ever talked to had ever had a home birth in the DR, and I was actually told, and my doula actually thought home birth was illegal because it was so, so, so, so rare in the DR. I was just under the impression that it was illegal, so I didn’t plan a home birth. But I tried to plan a hospital birth that would hopefully be as natural as possible. Instead, I got the opposite. I had a lot of the cascade of interventions that I didn’t want to have at all. I wanted things to happen spontaneously and to have minimal time in the hospital. I wanted that skin-to-skin right after, and my baby was taken away from me right after he was born which was very traumatic. I had to work really hard to heal all of that. But nonetheless, he was born. He had pooped himself inside of my womb, so there was meconium there. They told me that his cord was wrapped in a way that he couldn’t progress, and that’s why I wasn’t dilating and he wasn’t descending. It’s like they tried to give me some reasons why that was the right way. It’s not that I don’t believe that, but in hindsight and after a lot of the healing work I did, I can see why everything went down the path it did because I felt rushed at the end of the day. I felt like that word “induction” was being thrown around so much and I didn’t want that. I had to take matters into my own hands and try to do all of the “natural” inductions. Also, at the end of the day, my son was born the week before Semana Fante in the Dominican Republic which is Holy Week which is a huge, huge holiday week, so I did also find out that some of the members of the birth team had plans for Easter week and travel plans, so I knew that there was a bit of a rush from that end which made me feel rushed and just made the whole process one that I needed to heal from in big, big ways. So after I had my son, postpartum was really, really hard. Breastfeeding was hard. Everything was hard. I realize everything was so hard not only because I was a new mom and didn’t have the support I needed, but because my birth was incredibly traumatic– and I didn’t think of it that way at first because I was like, “My son is born. He is healthy.” But then 6 months after I had my son, I was still having physical pain at my scar site. I got it checked out. Nothing medically or physically was wrong with it, but what I know being in the line of trauma work that I do is that our body holds trauma, and everything is connected physically and emotionally within our bodies and within ourselves. About 6 months after I had him, I was still having that pain. I decided to work on my birth trauma. I worked on it from all different levels. I worked on it from the physical level. I started seeing an osteopath who I worked with for the next several months. Within a matter of weeks, a lot of the pain was gone. I also started working on it with a traumatic somatic trauma coach who is also a birth attendant. I found her because she was in the same trauma certification group that I went through. I worked with her for 6 months to heal everything from that birth and all of the trauma that it caused to forgive myself, to forgive my baby, to forgive my team, to feel safe again in my body, to feel at peace, to feel at home in my body, to connect back to my body, to connect to my baby, and just a number of things that we did together somatically and through breathwork to really peel back all of the layers of my birth, and not just my birth, but all of the births that came before me in my lineage to heal and heal deeply. It was a big, big work that we did together. It was not a small undertaking, but I will say that I feel. I feel that the work that I did to heal my first birth spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically was the best catalyst I could have had on my side for my next pregnancy and my next birth. So I got pregnant in August of 2022, or sorry, 2023. It’s interesting because I had thought about home birth the first time, and because of the timing, we were again going to have our baby in the DR. Is home birth a thing there? Sure enough, you put it out in the universe, and I started to meet people who were having home birth, mostly foreigners who were having home births in the DR. I think three, which was huge because before, I had not even heard of it. I was like, “​​Wow, okay. This is happening here. This is allowed here. This is legal here. What are you guys doing? What are you guys going through?” I started getting the right contacts of the right people and found out that there is a midwife in Fountaindomingo, one. I met with her. I was so excited because I was like, “​​This is great. She gets to be my midwife.” Then she told me that her dad was sick at the time, and she was going to be helping him. She told me, “I’m not going to be working during the time of your due date.” I was like, “​​Okay, so we just need to look at other options.” Right off the bat, everything I did for my second pregnancy was a 360 from my first one. With my first one, I was like, “Okay, it’s this one guy. It has to be.” I was very narrow because I was scared. With the second one, I was like, “​​Okay, it’s not her. I’m going to keep my options open. I’m going to keep my mind open. We’ll find someone.” My husband just did a Google search of traveling midwives in the US. We had a call with my midwife, Brittany, who is from Texas. Right after the Zoom call, I looked at my husband. I was crying because I felt such a connection with her. I was like, “​​She’s it. She’s the person who has to be at my birth. I feel so safe with her. I feel so seen and supported. She’s everything I would look for in someone to deliver my baby. She’s both nurturing and has a calming presence, but she’s also direct and not going to sugarcoat things. I need a beautiful blend of both.” I was really excited. We ended up signing a contract with her, and in the meantime, I got my prenatal care from an OB/GYN office throughout my pregnancy, and of course, to have a backup option in place. I switched OB/GYNs three times this pregnancy, and the last time I switched, I think, was as late as 32 weeks pregnant. I had been with the second gal. The first two OB/GYNs I was with– they were all women– were from recommendations from the midwife who wouldn’t be working during my birth. She had recommended the first two. The first one, I loved, but she wasn’t fluent in English, so neither one of us felt comfortable in terms of communication and being able to fully communicate when it comes to birth. I was bummed, but that one didn’t work out. I went to the second one she recommended. This one was a lot more fluent in English. I could communicate with her fine, and she was direct, but her bedside manner was so direct that she didn’t have that calming and nurturing confidence. She was confident, but she didn’t have the calming, nurturing side that I also wanted. She said a couple of things that didn’t vibe very well with me. It was so direct that it was hurtful. At 32 weeks, I was like, “​​You know what, babe? I love my first choice for my team, but if something happens, I don’t love my second choice.” I was determined. I just kept looking, and through one of the girls who had a home birth, she had heard of the woman that I went to as my third option. She had recommended, “If you decide to have it in the hospital, here are a couple of people I have heard good things about through friends.” I went to this woman, Lini Capalon, from 32 weeks. I didn’t tell her I was planning a home birth. I decided not to tell her. I told the second lady. She had gotten a little iffy about it because it’s not illegal there, but again, it’s so uncommon there that it’s hard for them to wrap their head around it basically. I’ll put it that way. With the third woman, I didn’t tell her, but she knew I wanted to have a VBAC. She had done a number of VBACs herself, and she had told me before I even started talking to her, she was like, “​​Look. We want this birth to be as natural as possible for your highest chance at VBAC.” She was like, “​​You need to go into labor spontaneously. We don’t want to interfere at all. I don’t want to interfere with you. I don’t want to give any interventions.” She was like, “​​You can go until you’re 42 weeks and 3 days before we’ll then talk about induction.” I was floored because I didn’t think this existed in an OB/GYN in the DR. First of all, that they’re doing VBAC, and secondly, that they’re for it. We were talking about this, Julie, a little bit before we hopped on that the C-section rate in the Dominican Republic is 90%. 9-0 in private hospitals, and public hospitals are really, really not great. If you have the choice, you wouldn’t want to birth in a public hospital. You are already going into a private hospital with a 90% chance of a C-section. Julie: That is so wild. It is so wild. Brielle: Yeah. Yep. Yeah. I learned that through the midwife who was in Santo Domingo. Julie: Well, and I almost wonder if the 10% who are not Cesareans are the ones who go so fast or are on accident. Do you know what I mean? Brielle: Yeah. Yeah. Or just everything progresses, I don’t want to say normally, but quickly. Julie: Quickly, yeah. Brielle: Quickly. You’re not “late” at all. I did have a friend who actually had a vaginal birth in the DR about a month after me. That was very hard for me as well and very triggering because she also had the same doctor as me the first go-around. Julie: Oh no. That’s hard. Brielle: That was a big part of my healing journey too. But yeah, her water broke. She went into labor. She progressed quickly and had the baby. There was not anything out of the “norm”. Anyway, that’s how it needs to happen if you’re going to have a chance. The fact that I had found her, then she was pro-VBAC and had VBAC experience was really rare because I was also saying that VBACs are unheard of in the DR. After I had my second baby, people were like, “​​What? You had your baby vaginally? Didn’t you have a C-section before?” They didn’t know that was possible. I went with her for my backup option. Then, here we go. I was 38 weeks and 5 days pregnant. My midwife is scheduled to come. She has her flight booked for the day before my due date. I’m still 10 days out before she’s supposed to come. I lose my mucus plug, and I have my bloody show. Of course, I message her. She’s like, “​​Well, here’s the thing. You could go into labor anytime now. It could be tomorrow, and it could be 2 weeks from now. We just don’t have any way to predict that.” I was like, “Okay, cool. Great.” But another thing that I had worked largely on this pregnancy and a big reason why I kept changing OB/GYNs and a big reason why I said no to a lot of things during my pregnancy and started speaking my voice is because I found my intuition or re-found it, and really listened to it every step of the way. Any time anything felt the slightest bit off, I was like, “​​Nope. We’re not doing that.” It took an incredible amount of tuning everything out, tuning out all of the noise and opinions and everything that’s out there and really just listening within. After that happened, I lost my mucus plug. She wasn’t supposed to come for 10 days. She tells me, “It could be tomorrow. It could be 2 weeks.” I slept on it, and then the next day, I was like, “​​Brittany, I think you need to get here sooner. When’s the soonest you can come?” This was Friday. She was like, “I can come this Sunday in two days.” I was like, “​​Great. Can you change your flight?” She was like, “​​Yeah. Can you pay the difference?” I’m like, “​​Yeah, that’s fine.” She changes her flight to Sunday. Her Airbnb was on the street that I live on. She gets to her AirBnB at 3:00 PM on Sunday. That night, I had about three or four days of prodromal labor before that. That night, at 7-8:00 PM is when I finally started having regular contractions, and my water broke that night at about 11:00 PM the day that she got there. Julie: Your baby was waiting. They just knew. Brielle: They knew. I knew. I was like, “​​You’ve got to get here sooner.” Baby Alana was waiting. Everything was happening in perfect timing. I told her that my water broke. She came over. Labor started. My contractions were regular. I let my husband sleep because I also didn’t know how long it was going to be because I had prodromal with this one too. I had it for a week before. I’m like, “​​I don’t really know for sure if it’s the real thing. I’m going to let him sleep for now. He supposedly has to work tomorrow, but we’ll see.” Things were regular, active, and intense all night long. He ended up waking up at 4:00 AM and coming up and setting up the birthing tub at that point. I didn’t know if I wanted a water birth or not, but I knew I wanted to have it as a comfort option and I wanted the option should I want to birth in there when the time came. So he set up the tub, and my doula came over. I had pretty intense contractions until Monday morning. Our nanny came over because my son, my 2.5-year-old was just 2 at the time, he woke up and he had school. She was getting him ready for school. He woke up, and even though the nanny was with him, that slowed my contractions down a little bit because it’s hard when your son’s not there to be in mom mode somewhat. Things slowed down a little bit while he was getting ready for school. He went to school. I was feeling a little frustrated because things had slowed down. My husband was like, “​​Let’s go outside. Let’s go for a walk.” We left the apartment. We went for a walk. My husband had me doing squats which I wish in hindsight I had reserved that energy. I didn’t know how long labor would go on. I was hunched over. Cars were stopping, “Are you okay?” as we were walking down the street and people were on their way to work because things were picking up again. I’m like, “​​Okay, I think we need to get back to the apartment.” He helped me. We get back to the apartment. We get back inside. Things got really intense again. It was Monday morning. I’m in and out of the birthtub. I’m on the birth ball listening to HypnoBirthing tracks using my breath. I’m a breathwork facilitator, so it wasn’t hard for me to tune into different breath patterns that were feeling good and supporting the intensity of everything. Monday afternoon came. My son got off to school. He came home. The same thing happened. They slowed down a bit while he got lunch and got ready for his nap. He went for his nap, then things really picked up. My midwife knew I didn’t want to be checked because of the whole thing before of, “You’re 1 centimeter,” and a week later, “You’re 1.5 centimeters. You’re not progressing,” type thing. I knew I didn’t want to be checked, but I think she could tell by the intensity and by the look in my eyes that I must be close to needing to push. She said, “I know you don’t want to be checked, but do you mind if I check you and not tell you the number just to see where things are at?” This was Monday afternoon. I’m like, “​​Sure, that’s fine.” She checked me. I was like, “​​You can tell my husband where I’m at, and he can decide if I should know. She checked me, and then a bunch more of my water gushes out, and then she blurts out, “You’re fully dilated. You’re ready to push.” I was like, “​​Really? That’s awesome. Great. Sounds great to me.” It had been a little over 12 hours at this point. I was like, “​​Okay.” But I also told her, “Really? I don’t feel the urge to push. I don’t feel like I need to push.” She explained to me that VBAC patients sometimes don’t feel that urge. That’s possible that you might not feel the urge. I was like, “​​Okay.” I leaned on her a little bit more for what positions to try and stuff like that and the actual mode of how to push because again, it wasn’t coming naturally. It wasn’t coming instinctively because I didn’t feel that urge. For the next, I think, 4 or 5 hours, I pushed at home. I pushed in the tub. I pushed out of the tub. I pushed on my bed. I pushed on the floor. I pushed in kneeling, hands and knees. You name the position. I feel like I probably tried it. I was absolutely exhausted because, of course, I didn’t sleep the night before. Eating was hard. I wasn’t getting what I needed nutritionally to keep up energetically with how long the labor was getting and how long the pushing was getting, but I also didn’t want to eat. I felt like I couldn’t get hydrated. I was exhausted. There were a number of times I looked at my husband, and I looked at my doula, “I can’t do this anymore.” They were encouraging me, “Yes, you can.” I got on my hands and knees and prayed. I was listening to my tracks. I had my crystals that I work with, and I’m just talking to my spirit guides and all of this stuff. After 4 or 5 hours, I was beat. I was so defeated. I was beat. My midwife was like, “​​Why don’t we give it a rest for a little bit?” She was intermittently checking our baby’s heart rate and checking me. All of that was fine. The baby was fine. I was fine the whole time, so she kept saying, “Both of you are fine. You can stay here longer. There is no rush because both of you are fine. There is no need to go to the hospital if you don’t want to. If you want to, that’s an option, and it’s fine.” I was like, “​​No. I’m just going to take a break from pushing, and try to rest.” Of course, I’m in active labor, so trying to rest is hard, but I just stopped with trying to push for a couple of hours, then it was getting into Monday night. My son had gone to bed for the night. It had been a few hours of this “resting”, but really intense contractions, and she asked me, “Do you want me to check you again? Do you not? Just to see what’s going on. I don’t know what’s happened.” She checked me. She said, “I have bad news.” I was like, “​​Okay, give it to me, I guess.” She explained to me that there are two layers of the cervix, the outer and the inner. When she had checked me before I pushed for that 4 or 5 hours, she realized she could only feel one layer. The layer that she felt was fully dilated, but then when she was checking me this time Monday night, she was feeling the other layer, and it wasn’t fully dilated. It was around a 7. She said that was why our baby– she had been sitting so low for this whole time. She was there, but couldn’t get around that other layer which is why the pushing wasn’t really doing anything to get her out. I was like, “​​Okay.” It was hard to hear, but also kind of relieving to hear in a way because I was like, “​​Well, I just did all of that work for nothing? What?” That’s what it felt like, but then it also felt like, “Okay, well, at least there is a reason why I was pushing, and it wasn’t happening. It just wasn’t.” I trusted the timing. I was so trusting in this birth. I was so trusting of the timing. I was so trusting of my baby. I was so trusting of my body and myself. I had done so much work around that to trust myself. I was like, “​​Okay.” I rested some more. Everything was fine. I continued to labor at home until about midnight. I was in the birthing tub, and at about midnight, I started to feel absolutely terrible, just incredibly weak. I had now been up for over two days and had two nights with no sleep. The four days before that was bad sleep because it was prodromal labor. My body was really exhausted. I was emotionally exhausted and mentally exhausted in every way. It was midnight. I was going through the second night now. I was just like, “​​Guys, I don’t feel well. I feel really bad.” She checked my vitals. Everything was fine. I was like, “​​I feel like my blood pressure was really low. I felt like I was going to pass out.” She was like, “​​Have you eaten any protein today?” I had eaten a lot of carbs and was staying hydrated. I was like, “​​No, I guess not.” She was like, “​​Let’s try some protein.” I absolutely didn’t want that, but my husband was force-feeding me a ton of chicken. My husband does acupuncture as a side thing. I was like, “​​Can you give me acupuncture to progress things or help with this terrible feeling I have to give me some energy?” He did acupuncture on me. He was force-feeding me chicken. Right after that, I got back in the birthing tub. I projectile vomited everywhere. After I threw up, I was like, “​​Oh, I feel better now.” It was so bizarre. I was going through a whirlwind at this point. I was like, “​​I feel better. I feel like I can continue now.” This was midnight now. My midwife said, “Okay, you can continue.” I continued the next four hours in and out of the tub, on the birthing ball. My husband was asleep at this point. My doula had to leave because her daughter was sick. I’m dozing off in the tub between every contraction which was only every 15 seconds because I was so tired, then the contractions would come. They’d be level 100, insane intensity. They’d be a minute and a half, then I’d get to fall asleep for 15 seconds then wake back up and do it again, and do it again on repeat for 4 or 5 hours. Then it’s 4:30 AM. I know it’s getting close to rush hour. There’s a lot of traffic during rush hour in Santo Domingo. If we tried to go to the hospital during rush hour, it probably would have taken us 2, maybe 3 hours to get there. I told my midwife at 4:30 AM, “Can you check me?” She checked me, and that same layer was still at a 7. It was maybe a 7.5. I told her, “I’m ready to throw in the towel.” What I meant by that was, “I’m ready to surrender to this process,” which means I’m not going to do it here at home anymore. Intuitively, that felt very right to me to go. It was time to try something different. I had been home for 35 hours at labor. We had worked with everything that was there. I had all of my tools that I had, and I felt like something needed to change. Julie: You were so tired. You worked so hard for so long. An exhausted body is just exhausted and not effective at laboring. Brielle: No, not at all. My midwife and my husband packed up my bag. My midwife ended up having to stay at our house because my son was sleeping. Our nanny couldn’t get there until 6:00 or 7:00 AM. My doula, her kid was sick, and she had to go home. My husband and I had to go to the hospital. The next two hours were insane. Once I decided I was going to the hospital, I basically had no breaks in my contractions. The time that they were packing my bags, and then we were going down to the car and driving to the hospital which was quick because there was no traffic at 5:00 AM. Those 15 minutes, we thought we were going to have the baby in the car. At this point, I was having zero breaks. The intensity was through the roof. We walk into the hospital. My husband has to do paperwork, so I’m all by myself. I’m just roaring like a lion at this point. I’m barreled over. This is so intense. I don’t have my tub or my ball or anything at this point. I didn’t have any pain relief medically, but I didn’t even have the things I had at home to help me. I’m just barreled over and roaring and screaming and super primal. My doctor finally showed up. He finishes the paperwork. That whole thing was probably 2 hours of me not having any type of relief, really, just to get to the hospital. That was the toughest part, I think. Then my OB/GYN, Leni, comes in. She checks me, and she’s like, “​​You’re fully dilated. You’re ready to push.” She didn’t know I had been at home. She didn’t know everything that was going on and that I was planning a home birth. I said, “I am not pushing this baby out right now.” I said, “I pushed at home for 5 hours. I’ve been in labor for 35 hours. I haven’t slept in 3 days. I projectile vomited everything.” I’m not saying this. I was huffing and puffing through this, but I looked at her, and I’m just like, “​​Give me an epidural now. I’m not doing this anymore.” She was like, “​​Technically, we’re not supposed to. You’re fully dilated.” She was like, “​​Okay, all right. We’ll get you the epidural.” They wheeled me up. They gave me the epidural. My husband didn’t go into the room with me. I thought I was just getting the epidural in this room, but it was the birthing room. I didn’t know because I hadn’t done the full tour of things beforehand. I mean, I did a little bit, but I didn’t put it together at the time where I was getting the epidural. I thought I was going to have a break to take a nap. I was going to get the epidural, then I was going to take a nap, then I was going to push the baby out. That’s not how it went. They were like, “​​All right, whenever you feel the next contraction.” I’m like, “No, I can’t. Where’s my husband? My husband’s not here.” They were like, “​​It’s hospital policy. Nobody can be in here with you.” I was like, “​​What?” Julie: No. Brielle: Yeah. I lost my shit. I lost my shit. I am like, “​​Absolutely not. Get him in here now! I’m not doing this without him. He’s been here every minute beside me for the last 35 hours, but also for the last 7 years of my life. I’m not doing this without him.” They were all looking at each other, like, “​​Look, when it gets close and when he is crowning, we will bring him in.” I was like, “​​Okay,” so I pushed when the contractions came. I was surprised I could still feel the contraction, but after the epidural, thank God. It was what my body needed at that point. I was like, “​​Thank you for modern medicine. There is a reason it exists.” But after 30 minutes of pushing, they just randomly asked me, “Do you have a doula?” I didn’t say anything about my actual doula, but I said, “My husband is my doula. Get him in here.” They were like, “​​Okay, okay. We’re going to bring him in now.” They brought him in. He started coaching me like a drill sergeant or a CrossFit coach or something, but he was like, “Just do it!” He knew me so well, and he knew in that moment that I wanted a VBAC so badly, and he also knew everything I had been through that previous 35 hours. He knew we needed to do this. He knew we needed to get on with it. He was coaching me and basically screaming at me. It was exactly what I needed in that moment. After he came in, 30 minutes later, I pushed her out. She was born. They brought her to my chest. Everything my OB/GYN told me, she stuck by her word. She was like, “​​You will have skin-to-skin. You will have that hour.” They asked me, “Can we take her to do x, y, and z?” I was like, “​​No, not yet. Don’t take her yet.” They did the things they needed to while she was on top of me. Everything they had promised, they fulfilled. That, I feel like, was why I just felt intuitively really good about both options, my first option and my backup option. I went with that, and it was exactly the way it was supposed to be. Julie: Yeah, I love that. I think being able to trust is such an important thing in the birth space, being able to trust yourself, your care team, your partner, all of your different options, your birth location, and all of that is just so connected to how our bodies can work and trust that process, and yeah. That was great. So good. Brielle: Yeah, that was a huge part of my experience. It was learning to trust myself, the timing, my baby, and my body fully. Healing my experience and just following my intuition completely. Julie: Yeah, I love that so much. Do you want to talk a little bit more about what you did to prepare with the breathwork and the somatic trauma work? I mean, did you get into that before or after? I’m assuming before because your baby is pretty young. How old is your baby now? Brielle: My baby was 5 months the other day. In between pregnancies, and I was not pregnant. I was 6 months postpartum from the first one that I started doing it personally for myself. Do you mean as a practitioner when I got into the work? Julie: Mhmm. Brielle: As a practitioner, I got into this work 5-6 years ago. I was already facilitating breathwork and coaching people for trauma, but not birth trauma. I had gotten my trauma resolution coaching certification and my trauma-informed breathwork certification before I ever had kids. I was really excited to get to use my breathwork and all of my tools and everything for my first birth, but that ended up going a completely different way. I did still use it, but it looked a lot different than I thought it would. I got into this work. I was coaching people on their trauma through a somatic way. Basically, trauma lives in the cells of our body, and it stays in the cells of our body unless we somatically move it through our physiology. There are two major ways we can do that. One is through a type of somatic coaching that I do, and the other is through breathwork. They are both somatic practices, but one is using the breath in a very intentional and activating way to help move that trauma through our cells and out. The other one is using a very hands-on– they are both body-based, but one is more of a visualization. I take you through an experience where you are feeling where things are living in your body. Basically, you are attuning to where there are certain activations in your body as I take you through a lived, traumatic experience. We are finding where that trauma lives in your body with a somatic coaching so I’m able to use a lot of tools to help you visualize it and then move that out. Then with breathwork, it’s similar, but we are using the breath. The breath is automatically going to the spaces energetically where the trauma is living to help move it out. Julie: Yeah. I love that. I love that so much. It reminds me. I’ve done a lot of therapy work. My therapist would ask. I’ve done lots of group therapy, individual sessions, and all of the things. One of my therapists who would lead our group sessions would say, “What do you feel and where are you feeling it?” We would take turns identifying what in their body needs to be addressed. You’ve got to describe it. What does it feel like? Does it have a sensation or a taste or a smell? Is it heavy or is it light? Does it have a color? Where in the body is it? I hated it, to be honest. It was the worst thing ever. Brielle: It’s really deep. Julie: It’s crunchy. Yeah. It’s deep, and you have to be comfortable getting uncomfortable, and reaching and stopping and being in tune with your body. I hated it so bad for a very long time, but even now, I don’t do those group sessions or anything or anymore. Every once in a while, I’ll scan my body. “Okay, what do I feel and where am I doing it?” I try to get my kids to do it, and they’re like, “I don’t know what the freak you mean, Mom.” They’re still young, but I know what you are talking about with that work. What is it? Moving it out, how to release it. That’s so important. Brielle: It’s so great. It transcends as I work with a client. They feel it. They see it in a certain way. It has textures, colors, and shapes, and we stay with it. We don’t stay with it beyond the point that they feel they can stay with it. If that’s super uncomfortable for them, we go back to our resource which I do at the beginning of the session. I’m not taking them through an experience in a way that is beyond their capacity to move through it. The body won’t ever take them through something that they don’t feel ready to handle. I think that’s really important to specify because if you’re just talking about this work and you have never heard of it, that can sound really scary. It is deep work, but at the same time, because of my trainings and with breathwork as well being trauma-informed, I never take a client to a place that their body is not actually physiologically ready to go into. Julie: Yeah, that’s really important. It’s such an intuitive thing. You talked a lot about intuition too. One thing I wanted to say before we close out the episode is that you mentioned earlier in the episode about learning to forgive yourself. That was something I don’t think we talk about a lot or think about a lot, but it’s something that I had to go through as well after my C-section. My thing was forgiving myself for not knowing what I didn’t know going into my birth It can sound kind of silly. What do I need to forgive myself for? But sometimes, we focus a lot on forgiving others in the situation and our team or our partner or whatever, but we don’t often direct that inward. I think that’s such an important part to give yourself grace and mercy and love and forgiveness and go through and not judge yourself too harshly or hold yourself to an unrealistic standard especially when you didn’t have the information then that you have now. So I think that’s an important part of the process as well. Brielle: That’s a big amount of the work I do with my clients as well is that self-forgiveness piece and really forgiving their bodies because a lot of them feel like, “My body failed me or my body is broken.” That was a lot of work I had to do myself personally after my first birth to realize, “No, my body didn’t fail me. My body’s not broken. Nothing was wrong with me.” But if we don’t do that forgiveness work for your body to yourself, that trauma is still going to be living in ourselves and still expecting. I’m not going to say it’s going to give you a repeat experience, but we’re still having that physiological presence where like attracts like. That’s still in there. That’s still the drawing factor of something that your body is expecting. It’s still holding that past experience. Julie: Right. Yep. That makes a lot of sense. I encourage everybody to do the work, but also, I think’s important to mention this a little bit is to find somebody trusted that you can do it with. It’s important to not dig too deeply into past traumas or things like that unless you have a solid support around you like a therapist, any mental health professional, an energy worker or people like that to help guide you through it so you don’t get too deep into things that you are not prepared to handle or heal. Brielle: Absolutely. That’s what I do as well through the lens of breathwork and somatic coaching. Julie: So where can people find you? Brielle: Yeah, it’s definitely not something I recommend doing on your own. Have somebody to hold that space for you who knows what they're doing. People can find me on Instagram. It’s just my name at Brielle Brasil. Brasil is with an S. You can reach out through there, and that’s where I’ll be. Julie: Perfect. We’ll link that information in the show notes for anybody who wants to go give her a follow as well. All right, well thank you so much for sharing your story. I really appreciate it. Brielle: Thank you so much. Julie: It’s so cool to hear your story and your journey and your process. Thanks for being here. Brielle: Awesome. I appreciate you. Thank you so much. It was an honor. Closing Would you like to be a guest on the podcast? Tell us about your experience at thevbaclink.com/share. For more information on all things VBAC including online and in-person VBAC classes, The VBAC Link blog, and Meagan’s bio, head over to thevbaclink.com . 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