About this episode
Carol Juergensen Sheets joins Dr. Rob for an in-depth conversation about what it really takes for both partners to heal after betrayal and trauma. Carol focuses on empathy in recovery, understanding triggers, and the signs that indicate that it is safe for a couple to move toward each other again. She also addresses the importance of support groups in healing and answers the classic question – do women really need other women? TAKEAWAYS: [2:56] Carol has been supporting healing in sex addicts couples since 2005. [5:55] Betrayed spouses aren’t crazy, they’re traumatized. [7:57] The Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model. [10:38] The danger of fact checking and hypervigilance after trauma. [14:10] The sustaining hope of feeling connected to your partner. [15:25] Empathy broken down into 4 actionable parts. [20:05] How to desensitize the desire to shut down after being triggered. [22:52] Am I contributing to this relationship or contaminating it? [26:33] When is it safe to move toward the coupleship again? [28:25] Shifting away from if/then interactions toward stability. [31:11] Healthy detachment leads to healing. [36:07] Do women really need other women? RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101 Seeking Integrity Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment Partner Sexuality Survey Carol Juergensen Sheets Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions. QUOTES: ● “I don’t want someone calling me 24/7, I want them to develop a fellowship out there that can also help to guide them.” ● “You can’t just stop negative behaviors, you have to replace them with something good.” ● “You can be in conflict but not withdraw.” ● “Am I contributing to this relationship or contaminating it?”