About this episode
Welcome to Sex, Love and Addiction 101! Your host, Rob Weiss, is a licensed therapist, sexologist and author of numerous books on sex, relationships and addiction. This podcast is a way to discuss these topics in frank and informative ways. Rob will talk with everyone from experts from around the world to regular people just looking to make their relationships better. In today’s episode, Rob breaks down what sex addiction is, and isn’t. He also discusses the recovery of sex and love addiction, and resources on ways to further expand your education on the topic. TAKEAWAYS [1:17] Sex addiction is a repetitive pattern of using sexual fantasy and behavior as a way to escape difficult feelings or emotions. It is a lifelong struggle, and is not the same thing as sexual orientation or gender identity. [6:29] Rob equates a sex addiction to an eating disorder in the way that we have a primal need, but it can become disruptive and harmful to our normal lives. [8:44] The life of a sex addict ends up being a double life, and many times affection and connection is compartmentalized away from intensity, fantasy and stimulation. [11:36] It is rarely about the partner, and addicts may try to blame their spouse to take some of the distractions away from their own compulsion and need for recovery. [14:19] Sex addicts have a responsibility to work on themselves, get support and commit to recovery. [16:02] Real love is knowing someone fully, and accepting them fully as they are. It takes about two years to truly know and understand who someone is. The love addict looks for these experiences with blinders on to soothe and mask their loneliness, obsession and emptiness. [19:44] Rob explains how sex and love use pleasure to escape reality, and how Intermittent Reinforcement is used to perpetuate this behavior and lose focus of the reality of the situation. [23:55] Being a sex addict does not excuse the behavior, but does mean there is a lot of work to be done in order to clean up their act. RESOURCES Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101 Out of the Doghouse Cruise Control Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous Out of the Shadows Always Turned On Charlotte Kasl Brenda Schaeffer