About this episode
Scott Brassart is the Director of Content Development at Seeking Integrity. He writes all the content at Seeking Integrity and has worked directly with Dr. Rob for over 10 years. Scott also teaches a lot of the courses at the treatment center. In this episode, Dr. Rob and Scott continue their conversations about porn addiction and offer insights on what steps you need to take to heal from porn addiction. TAKEAWAYS: [3:20] Why is my spouse so unhappy about my porn use? [3:50] Can porn use escalate the same way alcohol addiction escalated? [7:25] Porn addicts will start out looking at vanilla porn, and then the intensity keeps getting turned up to get their fix. [11:15] The brain ends up turning down the dopamine on our entire life. The addict suddenly needs more intensity, more dopamine, more of a rush. [16:00] Clients who are withdrawing often feel very lonely and very sad. Why is that? [18:35] How can you change the behavior? [19:45] It’s important to define what addiction looks like, and also what sobriety can look like. [20:25] Sex addiction is treated a lot like an eating disorder. We can’t quit eating altogether. [24:25] What does healthy intimacy actually look like? [24:40] Addiction feels great but it’s a one-trick pony. [27:45] If we open the door slightly, your addiction will come back. [29:05] Remember, there is no cure for addiction. You need to keep up daily maintenance to be sober. [32:45] Want additional support? Reach out to Seeking Integrity for more free resources! RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101 Seeking Integrity Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Scott on LinkedIn Scott at Seeking Integrity QUOTES: “Escalation is characteristic to all addictions. We build up tolerance. Porn gives us a sense of pleasure.” “Tolerance comes when the brain turns up the dopamine. Porn addicts end up going places that violate their values. They uncover [unwanted] elements of an arousal template.” “No more porn, but that does not mean no more sex. We treat sex addiction like an eating disorder.” “Ultimately, the goal of addiction recovery is to identify the behavior, stop it, break through denial, work on the underlying issues, and to live a better life.”