About this episode
Dr. Larry Hedges is a psychologist, a psychoanalyst, owns a private practice in Orange County, California and specializes in the training of psychotherapists and psychoanalysts. He is also the Director of the Listening Perspective Center and the Founding Director of the Newport Psychoanalytic Institute in Tustin, California, where he is a supervising and training psychoanalyst. Dr. Larry is the author of numerous papers and books and through his contribution to psychoanalysis over the years, was awarded honorary membership in the American Psychoanalytic Association. TAKEAWAYS: [3:05] Where do our thoughts of suicide come from? [4:20] All therapists are required to take a 6-hour course in suicide prevention. [6:50] Nobody truly knows why people are driven to commit suicide. [9:40] Suicidologists determined that the first two years of life will determine whether someone becomes extremely suicidal or not. [12:15] It all stems down to trauma and deep attachment issues. [16:35] Should you let your child cry or should you comfort them? [21:20] Between 4 to 24 months, the mother and baby have a set of attachment scenarios they go through. [27:55] If the needs of the baby are warped by a depressed, narcissistic or broken mom, the baby becomes stuck in how they become comforted during distress. [30:30] Suicide manipulation doesn’t aim to kill oneself but to get the attention of others. [33:10] What happens if you have an adult daughter or son trying to kill themselves? What can a parent or loved one do? [36:15] Dr. Rob and Dr. Larry discuss medical treatments available now to help someone going through suicidal thoughts. [39:10] Dr. Larry’s book The Call of Darkness is available on Kindle for free! [41:45] What should you do if you know someone who is suicidal? RESOURCES: The Porn Panic: Is Porn a ‘Public Health Crisis’? Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101 Seeking Integrity Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Listeningperspectives.com The Call of Darkness: A Relational Listening Approach to Suicide Intervention (Listening Perspectives in Psychotherapy) by Lawrence E. Hedges Ph.D QUOTES: “Our ability to predict and treat suicide is less than chance. We still don’t know what suicide is about.” “The same challenges [we all face] can trigger someone who is deeply vulnerable. It’s the deep vulnerability that goes back to the first two years of life.” “The child learns when I am in pain, I can call on darkness to stop the pain.” “The child may learn to have needs in a certain warped way. If I take care of mother, then she’ll give me what I need.” “What tells us who we are is how the world responds to us.”