IE132 Oscar Trimboli: Deep Listening: Transform Your Communication, Leadership, and Influence

Oscar Trimboli is the Deep Listening author, mentor, coach & speaker. About Oscar Trimboli He is the author and the host of an Apple-award winning podcast called, Deep Listening. He is passionate about using the gift of listening to provide positive changes in the workplaces, homes and cultures around the world. Oscar works with executives in a range of industries like Microsoft, PeopleSoft, Polycom, Professional Advantage and Vodafone. He first-hand transforms the impact leaders and organizations can have with the power of listening beyond words. Connect with Oscar Website: https://www.oscartrimboli.com/ Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/oscartrimboli/?originalSubdomain=au Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/oscardtrimboli Tune in: 125/400 Rule The reason why it's critical to pay attention and listen completely - including during the pauses, the silences and thoughtful moments in a discussion - is because of the simple maths between speaking and hearing. Although we can think at 400 words per minute, you can only speak at between 125-175 words per minute. So there’s a gap of 225-275 words per minute of what's not being communicated by words specifically. “We think at 400 words per minute, we speak at 125-175 words per minute.” The 4 Villians Sabotaging Your Listening 8:48 There are 4 villains that can show up depending on the situation we’re listening in. And situation to situation - we listen differently in different contexts and scenarios. The Dramatic Listener loves listening to the emotions of your story but their orientation is themselves. The Interrupting Listener comes with good intention but is relatively impatient in finding a solution. To be so self absorbed by your thoughts or devices describes a Lost Listener. Lastly, the one who excitedly anticipates the future, trying to solve the problem before completely hearing it all is the Shrewd listener. You can take a 7 minute quiz to identify your listening villains at listeningquiz.com . “Listening is situational, relational, and contextual.” Listening in Full-HD-Colour 24:26 Although only a small percentage of us don't see in color, Oscar says we all effectively listen in black and white. To unlock your ability to listen in color - discover your biggest barrier to listening. Oscar reminds us that blind people develop what almost seems to be extra-sensory listening abilities - these abilities are available to all human, but are we enganging our deep listening or are we simply distracted? Not until we listen to ourselves and empty ourselves from our distractions can we receive whatever anybody else is trying to say. “The difference between a distracted listener and a deep listener is not the fact that they listen better, it's the fact that one noticed they’re distracted quicker.” Oscar’s Personal Listening Ritual 27:06 Oscar makes it to the point to switch off his phone, take three deep breaths and be hydrated before meeting someone. We gain a tremendous amount of benefits just by increasing water intake and connecting with our breath. These are very basic tips that can actually bring us to a stage where it's possible to be ready to listen. “A hydrated brain and oxygenated brain is a listening brain.” 5 Levels of Listening 36:45 Most often we are stuck in our own heads - listening to ourselves in our own echo chamber at level 1. When we’re in dialogue we engage in the second level of listening - listening to what’s being said, seen or the state of the person talking (You can see that level two depends on our efficacy at level one). Level three is taking it further than most ever do - which is to listen to the context or noticing the observable patterns in the conversation. In this episode Oscar shares key tips to increasing your level 3 perception. Level 4 is the gold of understanding others at a deeper level, closing the gap in knowledge and listening to the unsaid (non-verbal) by knowing the 125-400 rule. In this episode Oscar shares 3 key phrases to help discover what’s unsaid to dive deeper into level 4 listening in any situation. The deepest 5th layer of listening is to listen to and derive meaning - which moves the conversation forward. “The role of the listener is to help the speaker edit their thoughts, to refine them and get them to a place that’s beyond their current level of awareness.” “The role of the listener is to help the speaker get to a place that’s beyond their current level of thinking - by listening deeply.” Join the Inspired Evolution Community: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/InspiredEvolution/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/InspiredEvo/ YouTube: https://bit.ly/inspiredevo Website: https://inspiredevolution.com/ Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/inspiredevolution . Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.