526: Relationship red flags & how to find The One | John Gottman, Ph.D. & Julie Gottman, Ph.D., the world’s leading relationship experts

“If you're dealing with an issue, don't describe your partner. Describe yourself, your feelings, and your needs," says Julie Gottman, Ph.D. Julie and John Gottman, Ph.D., leading relationship experts and founders of the Gottman Institute, join us to discuss how to know if your partner is long-term material, plus: - The top ingredients for a loving relationship (~00:02) - The three main conflict styles (~02:34) - The “bomb drop” fight (~09:16) - What to do if you feel “flooded” during a fight (~11:17) - The “shallows” fight (~16:17) - How to resolve “the standoff” (~19:20) - How couples can rebuild their relationship post-affair (~28:43) - What causes affairs? (~34:20) - The Gottmans’ top 3 green flags in a relationship (~35:56) - How to know if you’ve found The One (~43:01) - What causes unhappy marriages? (~46:02) - How to know if you’re ready for a serious relationship (~50:51) - The Gottmans’ No. 1 tip for successful relationships (~54:18) Referenced in the episode: - The Gottmans' book, Fight Right . - mbg Podcast episodes #320 and #461 , with the Gottmans. - Learn more about the Gottmans' research on marriage and couples . - Check out Caryl Rusbult's research . - Research on recovering after an affair . Visit shop.mindbodygreen.com/whey20 to get 20% off whey protein isolate+. Cannot combine with gift cards or other discount codes. We hope you enjoy this episode, and feel free to watch the full video on YouTube ! Whether it's an article or podcast, we want to know what we can do to help here at mindbodygreen. Let us know at: podcast@mindbodygreen.com . Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices