About this episode
One of ChooseFI's most popular guests is back! Dominick Quartuccio returns to talk about after the shock of 2020, how to bounce back and what it looks like to design your life for next year. Brad's relationship with Dominick goes back to when they were in college together. After reconnecting several years ago, Dominick has become a source of inspiration and a mentor to Brad. In previous episodes, conversations with Dominick have centered around the idea of drift. It's the state of existence where we think we're making intentional decisions with our lives, but in reality, it is habits, patterns, unconscious beliefs, expectations, societal pressures, etc. that are really driving decisions. It's only when an outside force, normally a quite dramatic one, forces itself upon us that we wake up from that state of drift. For the first time in human history, the entire world is going through an experience together. It's caused everyone some sort of pain, whether it was losing a loved one, a financial loss, or anxiety. Most of us have gone through periods of suffering in the past that when we look back on them, those were the moments that made us into the person we are today, and given the choice, we wouldn't change them today. Instead of wishing to speed up 2020 and get it over with, Dominick encourages us to pause and look at the past year to see where you've been and highlight the standout moments. The purpose of this exercise is so that we can envision a 2021 that has the potential to be the most meaningful, fulfilling, and prosperous year of our lives. In his role as a leaser, Dominick has seen behind the curtain of people's personal lives and noticed a distinct difference between those who have an inner foundation of work leading up to the pandemic and those who have never done the work. Fortifying your inner foundation allows you to be strong and thrive if there are tougher times in the year ahead. There are two parts to the exercise of designing the next year of your life: looking back at the year you just had and looking forward to creating the year that you want. Dominick places inner work underneath the umbrella of personal development. Where personal development could be an external skill to better yourself, such as reading a book to learn a new skill that can be applied in the real world, inner work is oriented inward, like examining what lights you up. When the conditions of the outside world change, when you've done the inner work, you don't feel shaken and you are standing on something stable. We've experienced more emotional turmoil in the last year than any other, making it worthy of introspection. In the last year, what were some of the standout moments, both the highs and the lows, beginnings and endings, new and lost relationships or jobs, and the trials and tribulations? Start with going back and looking at your calendar. Looking at it will trigger memories of travel or meetings. Next, go through the photos you've taken. There may be some real standout moments you've forgotten recorded on your phone. Finally, review your journal or scroll through any notes you've taken to see what you were thinking, seeing, and what your attitude was. After looking back, begin looking for themes. Was it bringing your life back into balance, loss, finding love? This year Jonathan and his wife got on the same page of their work-life relationship and she's embraced the idea of building her talent stack which has helped them have a common direction in their marriage. COVID has allowed Jonathan to watch his kids as they grow and evolve into different people every week. He has also lost 20-30 pounds, winning a bet he made with himself on Healthy Wage. He embraced the idea of community and is doing weekly calls with his father and JD Roth. He watched the income for his business take a nosedive and then recover from working to build new lines of revenue. He also built two new businesses using skills acquired in the last four years. He says it was his best year ever. Dominick posed the question to Jonathan about how he would've handled the same downturn to his business if it had occurred three years ago. Jonathan said he's a completely different person now and doesn't know how he would have interacted with who he was three years ago. This year has proven he has grit, determination, and gets stronger during times of trouble. For Brad, he and his family did CrossFit together five days a week for months. His theme is togetherness and it wasn't limited to his immediate family. The mastermind group he belongs to with Dominick was part of it. He's also been able to see his parents more this year and had the time to spend talking with his daughter who was experiencing anxiety and trying to work her way through it. Brad thinks what was important about this year was being able to see the hard work of parenting come to fruition. Dominick mentions that during a normal year, these moments speed by. The pandemic has forced us to slow down and meet these moments. But when things start to speed back up again, are we going to fall back into these old habits, or are we going to pause and be there for these moments? Our brains are hardwired to keep us safe, but many times the anxiety and creation of negative hypotheticals are not serving us. Realizing them helped both Brad and his daughter. The pandemic has shined a light on mental health. What did you learn about your own mental health this year? Additional questions to ponder are these. What milestones of FI did you experience this year? What relationship emerged as the most important this year? What did you discover about your physical well-being? One last question to consider is what is something you would like to leave behind in this year? An emotion, a belief system, a recurring complaint? Jonathan would like to leave behind the hours he spends that aren't helping to move him forward or bring him joy, like watching Netflix and scrolling through social media, but the thinks being productive 16 hours a day isn't the goal. Moderation may be his goal for 2021. Next, what are some things you want to carry forward with you into the next year? A sense of inner peace, togetherness, clarity? Give yourself space to think about it. What is an area of your life that is ready for the next big level up? Start by writing down many of the areas ready for a level up. after coming up with a list of 5-15, look for the one that really jumps out at you. Use this terrible year to springboard into the best year of your life. Courage is Dominick's theme for the next year as he works to figure out how to get out there and help more men live their fullest potential. This goal for next year does not need to world-changing, just meaningful, and something that inspires you to see what you are capable of. Brad knows that being present is an area he could work on and he could put separation in place to make that easier and make his life better. Napoleon Hill states in his work that the number one step in creating any meaningful change is to build a burning desire. What's the one decision that you could make that would allow you to be focused 365 days a year on that burning desire? Dominick will be holding a The Great Man Within 90 minute interactive webinar on Dec 16th for designing the next year of your life and in January, a free 30 day men's mental health challenge. To register for either, visit The Great Man Within. Resources Mentioned In Today's Conversation ChooseFI Episode 185 Adapting to the New Normal Register for The Simple Startup Winter Challenge and get 15% with the code Podcast Check out ChooseFI's review of the Chase Freedom Flex Open high-yield savings account with CIT Bank Get started on your path to financial independence at ChooseFI.com/start If You Want To Support ChooseFI: Earn $1,000 in cashback with ChooseFI's 3-card credit card strategy. Share FI by sending a friend ChooseFI: Your Blueprint to Financial Independence .